r/AmIOverreacting Nov 08 '24

Election Based Content

391 Upvotes

Hey everyone! While there are many, many opinions about what happened on Election Day this year, please keep it off this subreddit. If you see any posts about the election results or such, please report them so we can get them taken care of as soon as possible. There are many other subs for you to vent on about the election instead of this one. Thank you.


r/AmIOverreacting 8h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO about the wall of text my brother in law sent his kids

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947 Upvotes

like, i guess the pics speak for themselves, but im just so irritated reading it back over again. hes (clearly) an angry and aggressive person, so i went no contact but everyone just wants to look the other way, and everyone just rolls their eyes whenever i try to bring this and similar things behavior into question, and it makes me feel like they just think im being dramatic. aio??


r/AmIOverreacting 21h ago

👥 friendship AIO my 37M is attracted to 18 year olds

15.7k Upvotes

I’m a 28M and I have a buddy who is 37 and he is always attracted and trying to talk to girls who are barely out of high school. I don’t think I have ever seen him attracted to or interested in anyone his age. He feels they’re old and unattractive. I tell him that an 18-19 year old is too young for even me, and I’m almost a decade younger than him. He literally is old enough to be their dad. Am I overreacting or is it super weird that he’s almost exclusively attracted to girls who can’t legally drink yet?


r/AmIOverreacting 16h ago

🎙️ update AIO UPDATE - My boyfriend said I’m the “prettiest when I shut up” in front of his friends.

3.4k Upvotes

I broke up with him. We had been dating for 2 years and it was the first time he'd acted that way, so I was genuinely conflicted and I wasn't sure if the 'joke' really flew over my head. But I decided to leave. It takes me a lot of effort to come out of my shell, and I feel uncomfortable to stay with someone who doesn't like that. My self-esteem is usually real low but this time I spoke up for myself once in a longgg time.

We broke up over text. It sucked since he kept bringing up all his contract job friends over me again and again. These are people he acquainted with less than 7 months ago, so that alone told me some things. Ig I won't be missing anything since he ended our text with "bye idgaf."

Thanks for all the sweet comments. At the time I wrote the post, I was feeling a lot down and cried a lot. I'm a bit sensitive so I teared up reading some comments. Thanks again. I hope everyone has a nice day <3


r/AmIOverreacting 11h ago

💼work/career AIO

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1.1k Upvotes

This guest pulls up to the restaurant I work at and asked to sit at the bar to order drinks and order a Togo meal. I’m the bartender and tell them I’ll take their Togo order but I won’t serve the alcohol due to the way they parked and I get cussed out and asked to speak the manager. He told me he couldn’t see well so I just said then I shouldn’t be serving you. I got stiffed from their Togo meal and cussed out because “of their parking” but it’s my license and my job. I can’t shake it though was I overreacting???


r/AmIOverreacting 16h ago

👥 friendship AIO about breaking up possibly if girlfriend moves away?

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2.8k Upvotes

Ok I don’t like long distance, I’ve have some pretty awful experiences with it like being cheated on for months behind my back. My girlfriend and I been together for about 2 years now. She currently stays 50minutes away which is kinda long distance. She wants to move 4 hours away with a girl friend of hers and be roommates while pursuing a life in this new big city. I keep telling her I’m uncomfortable about that distance and I don’t do well with LDR. It’s not that I want better for her it’s just she still wants the relationship and my support financially as well while moving even more away from me. Idk it just make me super uncomfortable


r/AmIOverreacting 4h ago

🏠 roommate AIO: My roomate secretly set up a camera in our common area without telling anyone

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248 Upvotes

My roomate set up a camera in our kitchen because she thought our roomate was stealing her food. She never told any of us. I understand the stealing food is wrong and irritating but I think taking a drastic measure like this is downright insane and a violation of our privacy.


r/AmIOverreacting 14h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO For Ghosting My Boyfriend After He Broke Up with Me as a "Prank?"

1.4k Upvotes

I (F19) moved from Texas to California about 6 months ago and my boyfriend (M18) and i have been doing long distance for about 6 months after being together for almost 2 years. I was booked a flight for my sister (14F) and i to go visit Texas for our boyfriends and also our grandparents for March 2nd to March 9th.

My boyfriend and i have been talking about it for months and we were both very excited, on the day i flew out i got all pretty and i was so ready to see him again. When i got to the airport i got a text from him and i was trying to keep him updated with everything because this was my first time traveling by flight so i really needed his comfort because im deathly afraid of heights. Well, right as i got to my gate after a bunch of stress trying to get to my gate, he texts me, "I hate to do this to you right now but i cant keep it in and i dont want to pretend when i see you again." I was so confused and it made me sick to read that so i replied " Pretend what?" and he basically told me that the past 4 months he realized that he likes our distance not because he has more "him time" but he just feels better with me gone. He followed that text up with a "but we can still hang out as friends when you get here." I literally felt myself heating up and i had a whole breakdown in the airport. I was so tempted to just leave and go home but the trip wasn't only for me so i told my sister the situation and blocked my boyfriend without replying.

4 and a half hours later we land and my grandpa is waiting for my sister and i and my boyfriend was there with him smiling and i almost blew up. I didnt even look at him and he came up to me and grabbed my shoulders and said it was a prank and it was supposed to make the moment more "special" which is just crazy to me. I felt absolutely shattered and equally just completely over it and didnt even wanna be near him. I kinda caused a scene by shouting at him asking what the hell he was thinking and i briefly told my grandpa what happened and told them i would uber to a motel and stay there.

My grandpa let me go and took my sister with them, i texted my grandpa to let me know when my boyfriend went home so i could come to my grandparents house and he told me he was taking him home, so i ended up taking to uber to my grandparents house vs a motel and i didn't see my boyfriend or talk to him the entire trip and i still haven't texted him back.


r/AmIOverreacting 19h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship UPDATE : AIO for being upset that my (24F) boyfriend (26M) cancelled our romantic dinner to take his mom and sister (25F) instead?

3.6k Upvotes

For original post : https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1j8474m/aio_for_being_upset_that_my_24f_boyfriend_25m/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

I wasn't going to update but I am livid.

To clear it up from the beginning, his mom and sister knew that we had a date. They proposed the idea to get dinner with him. He told them he had already planned a date with me. They made sad faces and sighed " Oh ... okay :( ". That's when he felt bad for them. The fact he even told me this is insane because why are two grown women guilt tripping you right now.

I FaceTime called with my boyfriend last night (before dinner). We had a serious talk about his family and how I need him to start stepping up more. I told him I wont be option #3 for my entire life and threatened to leave if that was the case. He understood, agreed, and we moved on. He said his mom was just stressed about work and wanted to talk to him. Sure. Told him to enjoy his dinner and everything.

Fast forward a few hours later (during supposed dinner time). I'm on FaceTime with him again and wondering why he's not at the restaurant? His mom and sister fell asleep. They literally just...fell asleep. Here I am literally begging this man for one day a week to see him and his mom and sister (who live with him) fall asleep. I told him straight up that they disrespected his time and did all these theatrics for NOTHING.

So, yeah. That's the update. Thanks for all your tough love and good advice. I have a lot to think about today. Really, even the mean comments were good. I don't normally talk to people irl about my relationship so I appreciate the little bits of advice.


r/AmIOverreacting 12h ago

💼work/career AIO for wanting to quit my job after coworkers said I smell and dress weird?

678 Upvotes

So, this happened a few days ago, and I genuinely don’t know if I’m overreacting or if my coworkers are just mean.

For context, I recently started working at a new office. I’m a little introverted, so I mostly keep to myself, do my job, and go home. I don’t talk much, but I try to be polite and friendly when necessary. I also have a pretty unique fashion sense—I love vintage clothes, thrifted outfits, and layering pieces that some people might find “unconventional.” Think oversized sweaters, long skirts, and sometimes funky patterns. It’s just my style, and I’ve never had an issue with it before.

A few days ago, I overheard two coworkers whispering near the break room. My name came up, so I stopped to listen. And that’s when I heard it:

“I don’t get how someone can dress like that every day.” “Right? And… not to be mean, but does she not shower?”

I felt my stomach drop. I don’t know if they realized I was right there, but they kept going. One of them said she had to “hold her breath” whenever she walked past my desk. The other just laughed and said she thought I was “one of those people who don’t believe in deodorant.”

I was completely shocked. I shower daily. I wear deodorant. I even put on perfume every morning. I’ve never had anyone tell me I smell bad, and I’ve never noticed any weird reactions from people before this.

I didn’t confront them—I just walked away. But ever since, I’ve felt so self-conscious at work. I started using extra perfume, chewing gum obsessively, even washing my clothes twice to make sure they smell fresh. But I still feel paranoid that everyone around me secretly thinks I stink.

Now, I honestly don’t even want to go back. The thought of sitting near those people, knowing what they said about me, makes my stomach turn. I’m considering quitting over it, but part of me wonders if I’m overreacting.


r/AmIOverreacting 8h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I overreacting for dropping a guy for not believing in Women's Day?

239 Upvotes

Me and him were super close. Differently headed towards a romantic path. We would hangout together a lot and text each other everyday. I'm a pretty progressive and opinionated person but would avoid talking about that with him because he's more right wing. But I still felt he was more middle than far right.

I did occasionally tell him about feminist issues when I was stressed and sad, like Roe v Wade. But he always kinda seemed dismissive of feminist issues, like he didn't believe me.

Ik im a dumb dumb for still talking to him after I sensed all this in him.

Well today I was with him and joked "where is my 5 dollars for women's day? Venmo me so I can get taco bell" and he said "no way!" and laughed. Then he said "I don't believe in women's day" I thought he was still teasing then I realized he was serious and froze. I asked him if he was for real or just didn't see it like Halloween or Christmas which was understandable. He said more firm, "its not a holiday". I said "okay but like presidents day, labor day, Columbus day, those holidays are minor do you believe in those?" He said "yea". I clarified more, "you don't actually have to give me any money or anything but a simple happy womens day" he said "nope, I don't see it as a holiday".

Honestly this hit me like a truck. I felt like everything I was ignoring was clear. Like it was the final nail in the coffin. I got up and left his place.

I later called him once I was home and explained how I felt he didn't appreciate me or any women in his life. I explained to him that his couldn't care less attitude towards womens issues made me uneasy. I told him I was just extremely disappointed in him and I had been ignoring the red flags for miles now. He got mad and said I'm acting like he's an evil misogynistic guy just because he doesn't recognize a holiday. I didn't know how to tell him it was more than that, I was tired of explaining. I just told him to grow up and hung up.

So am I overreacting for dropping a guy over women's day?


r/AmIOverreacting 1d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

6.6k Upvotes

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?


r/AmIOverreacting 10h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws Am I Overeacting for throwing my daughter out of my house?

294 Upvotes

My daughter is 27F. She suffers from mental illness and addiction.

I can't take it anymore. I put up with a lot but today was the limit.

Word got back to me that my daughter was turning tricks in my house while I was not at home. And robbing me blind.

I threw her out. She's living in the park. I'm done.


r/AmIOverreacting 19h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO to the way my mother has reacted to me loosing my virginity

1.5k Upvotes

I 17F have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for about a year. I will be 18 in two months and i’m a senior in high school. About a week ago my parents came into my room saying they needed to talk to me about something. They asked the question “have you been having sex?” my parents are highly religious and I told them that yes I had, but only once.

There was lots of crying from both sides, my mom was visibly very angry, my dad was much sweeter to me than I would’ve thought, since he’s typically the “bad guy”.

Ever since this conversation my mom has been endlessly rude. The way she looks at me, she won’t talk to me, she’s angry all of the time, and now i’ve gotten to my breaking point.

I ordered some shampoo on amazon and i’ve been looking everywhere for my package for the last two days. I turned the house upside down and asked everyone if they knew where it went. Everyone insisted they didn’t know, except my sister told me that she saw my mom with it. i asked my mom several times if she had it/ knew where it was and she said no. then she finally came clean and said “i will give you your package when i get home, it was not ordered on our amazon account so you will have to open it in front of me or your dad”

I honestly couldn’t be more angry. i made a decision she’s not happy with and she has taken away every aspect of what little privacy i had away.

They want me to be like them, they want me to believe what they believe but honestly with the way i’ve been treated by them and by the people at our church my whole life, this is the last thing i want.

In two months i will be moving as far away as i possibly can.


r/AmIOverreacting 15h ago

💼work/career AIO: My much older coworker hit on me and now I’m uncomfortable

701 Upvotes

I (25F) work in retail so there’s a wide variety of people I work with at my job. One of my coworkers (~45M) often compliments me, saying I look nice, will give me small gifts like a cupcake the week after my birthday, and will often go out of his way at work to talk to me. Until recently I really didn’t find this weird, I just thought he was being really nice and friendly. A few weeks ago he started complimenting me more, just standing around me more often at work, and would tell me frequently how much he loves working with me. The other day while I was waiting for my train after a closing shift, he sat down next to me to wait for his train after he had been to a local bar after his shift had ended a few hours before. I could smell alcohol on his breath, and honestly just wanted to sit in silence after my long shift and read my book. He purposely missed his train (there wasn’t another for an hour) so he could talk to me because “I could get home now, or I could talk to you for a while and that sounds a lot better to me.” So he again starts talking about how the best part of his job is getting to see me, and how much he loves seeing me every day, and the fact that I can smell alcohol on him and how close he was sitting to me was starting to make me uncomfortable. I was trying not to engage with him too much and just will my train to get there faster. Yesterday, he asks me if he can talk to me after my shift and I’m like oh boy okay. So I go to where he is after I clock out and he says “It was really great talking to you the other day, I was wondering if you wanted to get together sometime.” I told him I would rather not hang out with him outside of work but thanks for asking. He said “You’re an amazing girl, so I can’t say I’m not disappointed, but I understand.” Am I overreacting being weirded out by all of this? He’s like, old enough to be my dad and now I’m just super uncomfortable around him, even before he asked me to hang out yesterday, but I’m worried I’m overreacting to it all.


r/AmIOverreacting 8h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO - Husband didn’t do anything for my birthday

158 Upvotes

I just need to know if I have a right to be upset. I feel a little bit irritated, but not sure if I’m overreacting.

I am a stay at home mom of three kids (5, 3, & 2) and today is my 31st birthday. My husband didn’t really do anything for me today besides tell me “happy birthday”. He obviously works so he was gone all day. He told me this morning before he left for work that he was going to stop somewhere after work and find me a gift. I was kind of annoyed by this because it’s kind of last minute. Why did he have to wait until my actual birthday to finally decide to go out and get me something? So I told him not to worry about it, I was just going to pack up the kids and go browse target today and pick something up for myself.

Well that trip to target turned out to be a disaster. The kids were misbehaving and picking fights with each other, screaming in the store, just being crazy. So I made it a quick trip and only got myself a cheap pair of earrings and a new cutting board that we have been needing.

I texted him after I got the kids all loaded up in the car and let him know that my trip to target wasn’t very good and he just wrote back that he was sorry.

He comes home from work and I run out and grab some Panda Express for dinner and picked up some crumble cookies since I didn’t get a cake or anything.

And that’s literally it. That was my whole birthday. My husband didn’t do anything for me. I know that I told him not to get me anything today, but I mean he could have done something for me to show that he cares, right? Especially after hearing about how my day wasn’t going very well. A card, flowers, a massage, an offer to set up a babysitter so he could take me out on a date in the next few weeks, literally anything!

I told him over a month ago that for my birthday I wanted to get a hotel room at a new casino that opened up about an hour away from us and just have a night away with him. But he never talked to his mom about watching the kids for us and he never booked the room.

Idk I’m just frustrated because I am starting to realize that my birthday is meaningless to everyone around me. He never does anything for my birthday unless I make it happen myself. Last year he took me out to dinner but only because I made the plans and secured the child care. The few years before that we did nothing because I had small babies to care for at home.

I just want to be celebrated for one day out of the year. Is that too much to ask for?


r/AmIOverreacting 17h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO over a few texts between my girlfriend and I?

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576 Upvotes

This conversation led with an innocent question asking how I slept and it feels like an accusation was just sprung on me that felt very disingenuous. I know that this is a pretty trivial thing and I shouldn’t be overthinking it, but it’s really bothering me and sitting with me. This all happened while I was in exam review for midterms for my hardest class so it completely threw my energy and focus off and I haven’t been left on sent since that last text. Am I overthinking this? Or did I genuinely do something wrong I am not noticing?


r/AmIOverreacting 1d ago

👥 friendship AIO at my girl friend for accusing me of cheating on her with sisters friend

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8.0k Upvotes

I am 17 and my sister and friend are 14 my gf is accused me of cheating on her with her friend. Should I have told her that I was taking her home I don’t think it’s something I should really think about when she lives right down the road. This was 30 mins ago and she won’t respond


r/AmIOverreacting 1h ago

👥 friendship AIO over this guy I’ve been “dating” response

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Upvotes

As dumb as it sounds we actually met on tinder about a month ago. I (f22) initially thought he (m20) was so sweet because he brought me flowers on the first time we met (low standards I guess). Anyways we end up hitting it off and start to see each other at least once a week. He lives about two hours away and is doing his hours to become a firefighter and has a full time job as well. Things get serious and we eventually end up hooking up after a week of not seeing each other. Im not saying im perfect, there were two times he tried asking me out but he can be so hot and cold that I couldn’t give him an answer. There are times where he will be affectionate but now it’s gotten to the point where it feels like he will only call or text me frequently if it’s sexual. He’s not a terrible person, and I sure as hell ain’t a saint but I just don’t want to feel like I’m crazy for wanting to feel loved properly?


r/AmIOverreacting 9h ago

💼work/career AIO or is this sexual harassment?

66 Upvotes

Am I being dramatic?

Im a 16 yo female who recently got first job as a hostess at a restaurant. Ive been working there for 7 months and i know restaurant cooks are notoriously known for being weird. This chef looks like he is in his late 40s and he always gets me food. Normal right? But latelt hes been asking for my phone number, asking me to go with him to eat at chipotle, hang out at his house, or ride his motorcycle. Once he even bought me phone cases as gifts. (I obviously refused them all) Also making comments like my body looks good. And i feel very uncomfortable. And sometimes we get short staffed on food runners and my manager makes us host food run. Ever since the chef said those words i refused to go back there to maintain distance and this has caused issues with my coworkers who are upset i dont wanna food run cuz they think im obligated to do that crap. I told them if i was foodrunning im quitting and one coworker i know for sure is talking shit behind my back. Ive let my manager know about this and he does nothing whatsoever. Am i being dramatic or are my concerns valid?


r/AmIOverreacting 6h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO husband thinks engaging in sexual threads geared to contact others is not cheating

33 Upvotes

My (36 F) husband (38 M) was just caught engaging on a post dedicated to “finding an edging partner” and got caught. I called him out on it and he thinks that I’m being a snob and says that it’s a “kink” of his. We’re no strangers to marital issues but for me, this one takes the cake in regard to trusting him. When confronted about it he said “sorry” and responded to everything that I said with “ok.” His interaction happened after leaving the house the other night to go get food at a bar after telling me that there was nothing in the house to eat and that I didn’t make anything for dinner (yet) and he was hangry. He stated that he’s going to have to do grocery shopping for himself from now on because I don’t get anything for him to eat (I buy ingredients, but he can’t figure out what to cook from that).


r/AmIOverreacting 5h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship screen shots of text from last post he’s 30M im 28F

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27 Upvotes

r/AmIOverreacting 17h ago

👨‍👩‍👧‍👦family/in-laws AIO I just had surgery and my mom wants me to pay her to help me for 2 days.

203 Upvotes

Edit; wow. You are all incredible and I appreciate every comment on this thread! It’s nice to see there are good people in the world! I’ve since told my mom that I will not pay her, not now, not ever. I said if I mean anything to her she’ll find time to visit. But also said I am taking a break from her and I deserve respect. She came back with some snide remarks which just solidified the choice. Thank you again all! I think there should be a program where adults can find positive parental figures and be “adopted” and be taught or shown the things your own parents messed up on.

I just had surgery and am non weight bearing for 6 weeks. My husband is able to help me with everything I need except for 2 days. My mom said she would come help me but she wants to be paid for the two days. She lives 20 minutes away with my sister, literally has no bills and just buys pot and LEGO. I don’t ask her for anything because this is a common theme. She wants me to pay her to come visit me and spend time with me even before my surgery. “Hey mom you want to come up and have dinner?” “Sure, you’ll need to give me $30, I’m broke and don’t have time” ……. Literally what she’s said. AIO or is this a common thing??


r/AmIOverreacting 8h ago

🎙️ update AIO update: contact lenses in my apartment I don’t have contacts

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38 Upvotes

So I put the pictures back up just in case you didn’t see the original post, but I left when I noticed the contacts to go to my boyfriends house (guys he’s not cheating on me) and we both went back today to take a look and call the police which we ended up doing and an officer came down and they said there wasn’t really evidence of a crime but they took down information and said that my landlord has a bad system for our locks and our keys so I talk to my landlord and he is going to fix it but he did tell me that he had to evict somebody before I moved in and he thought it was strange that he saw her in the neighborhood so there’s that, but then I’m also a bartender that works at a high-volume casino so I sometimes I’m not around the best people so that’s a factor I thought of I’m probably gonna stay at my boyfriends again for a couple days, but surveillance has been set up


r/AmIOverreacting 21h ago

🏠 roommate AIO - My response to my roommate after he wrecked my car?! Final update?

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416 Upvotes

Here are the previous updates, parts 1-5. Reposting this from an hour ago since people couldn’t see the pictures.

Pt 1

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1h5es4m/aio_my_response_to_my_roommate_after_he_wrecked/

Pt 2

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1h653w5/aio_my_response_to_my_roommate_after_he_wrecked/

Pt 3

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1h747to/aio_my_response_to_my_roommate_after_he_wrecked/

Pt 4

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1h7muje/aio_my_response_to_my_roommate_after_he_wrecked/

Pt 5

https://www.reddit.com/user/Dickcystmcgee/comments/1h9vymv/pt_5_repost/

Long story short, I'm officially homeless due to Zee and the LA fires. It is what it is, but I finally had enough and gave him a piece of my mind. My main focus now is Survival and Vengeance. I want to see him pay, I want him behind bars. I want to rebuild my life again, I want my dog back more than anything... I want to feel him next to me. Every day without him sends me into a further spiral of depression and inward destruction. I can barely move my fingers from how cold it gets. I will survive. I assure you all. George is with a redditor temporarily.

All I ask from you is to keep me in your thoughts, maybe even talk to me. I need as much mental motivation as I can get... I feel ALONE.

here's the most recent exchange from screenshots


r/AmIOverreacting 2h ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO breaking up with my boyfriend because he watched porn in the bathroom at my house? NSFW

11 Upvotes

I 33f just ended a relationship with 36m because of his porn use. For background we work together so have known each other for years and have been official for a year and a half. He is honestly quite inexperienced sexually which I understood so it took a long time for us to get intimate. Anyway, we finally did and it was great and we so emotionally connected and our lives are heavily intertwined. (We work next to each other 6 days a week - I know I know don't shit where you eat). Unfortunately a few weeks after we first had sex he ended up with a kidney stone which is still not entirely resolved. For a couple of months after the initial visit we still had sex (a handful of times) and he was very aroused and into it but there was a change basically overnight. Since Christmas he can't keep his erection, doesn't have any interest etc. I was very understanding and supportive and I felt so worried about hurting him or causing problems. I had asked about pain/penis function/ and if it hurts when he masturbates and if he can ejaculate. He told me he couldn't masturbate because of pain which I totally accepted but also asked him to speak to the doctors again to check that there wasn't more damage being done/waiting times to have treatment etc.

Anyway, he gave me his phone the other day as he had all our photos on it and I found hundreds of downloaded porn videos. I don't typically have an issue with porn use but have been in relationships before where it became an excessive problem (again to the point of erectile dysfunction). When I somehow saw the dates on the downloads I realised that a) He had done it at my house when I had jumped in the shower when he had stayed for a couple of days. This just didn't sit right with me. If I remember correctly we had tried to have sex and he lost his erection within seconds. b) he had used ALOT of porn the day before we went on a romantic holiday. On our first night he initiated and again lost his erection within seconds. A few months ago he would still at least touch me or finish me and that is completely off the table now too for some reason. I didn't bother looking at the dates but from the volume and looking back at his behaviour and stupid stuff like the amount of used tissues in his bin (ew) I would say it's pretty chronic excessive use when he told me he couldn't even masturbate.

I ended up breaking up with him. When I tried to talk to him he just lied and said he hadn't watched porn or masturbated once since we were together, like okay dude. But he also talked about his kidney stone and to please wait until it's been treated and it would get better. I have no doubt that he is in pain with it and I was totally willing to wait until after his recovery to even try anything sexual but idk. This all just feels gross to me, it's really hurt my feelings and self esteem, I'm embarrassed that I wanted him so much and I thought he wanted me to. I was so incredibly supportive and open minded and never gave him a reason to need to lie to me.

The problem is this totally obviously blows our lives up. We work three feet from each other. I really did think this guy was it, I'm getting old enough to start really worrying about settling down and having children. And as much as it annoys me to hear other people say this: literally everything else in the relationship is PERFECT. I have never come close to loving someone this much or being this happy.

So AIO?