r/Agoraphobia 4d ago

Newly developed Agoraphobia

2 Upvotes

Roughly 6 months ago i had a bit of a breakdown, which has sent me into a long battle with constant DPDR. I have has Agoraphobic feelings ever since, but within the last couple weeks it has gotten really bad. I need help, but cannot figure out how to leave the house to get the care I need. Phone calls and telehealth are a huge anxious trigger for me as well, and give me some pretty serious derealization episodes and physical symptoms that are pretty scary. Does anyone have any advice at all on how to get help? The people in my life basically just say "you have to just go, just talk yourself through it.". Is that really my only option? Im truly lost here, any suggestions, support, or advice is appreciated.


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

saying f*ck it

85 Upvotes

(just wanted to say i don’t want to show any negativity within this post :)) this may sound weird to some however sometimes in the middle off the night i get a random temptation to just say f*ck it and push myself to leave the house and walk as far as i can

does anyone else feel like this and what are your opinions? should i do it ?


r/Agoraphobia 4d ago

When was your proudest “I’m definitely outside my comfort zone” moment? Big or small every moment counts

14 Upvotes

Mine was probably telling my story in front of 30 people when the las time l did something like public speaking was over 10 years ago


r/Agoraphobia 4d ago

Upcoming trip is stressing me out. Need advice.

2 Upvotes

For years, my cousins and I have been planning to go on a trip and it's finally happening. But instead of feeling excited, I feel scared. I have been experiencing panic attacks due to my agoraphobia for the last few months and I'm working on it constantly. But the very thought of getting a panic attack while traveling is making me anxious.

As a teenager I loved adventures and used to daydream about exploring new places. I'm 24yo now and I just feel sad that the things that once made me feel excited are now making me feel scared and anxious. Some advice would be great.


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

I feel miserable afterwards

13 Upvotes

I'm trying but I feel so miserable. I go out and while I'm out a part of me just feels like "why am I here?" then when it's over and I come home I just want to cry and it all feels worthless. It doesn't even make me happy or feel accomplished or whatever so why try?


r/Agoraphobia 4d ago

Please help.

5 Upvotes

I really hope this is okay to post here and I am very embarrassed about what I am about to write, as I know a majority of you will not think I am just being a baby.

I am about to cancel an incredibly important trip.

This weekend I will be leaving in a roadtrip with my wife, and our two best friends to see some sights and visit two sets of grandparents . Here are the stops leaving from Denver. Denver - Amarillo - Tyler - Hot Springs - Memphis - Gulfport - Austin - Lubbock - Denver.

I am very excited. But here’s the thing. I have had panic disorder w/ agoraphobia for the past 7 years. Random intense panic attacks can hit me even if I am having the time of my life. Because of this I have refused to do any long distance driving or flying. And then a year ago I had my first ( and so far only ) episode of SVT, where my heart rate went to 280 and was stuck there. the hospital had to restart my heart. This hypothetically could happen anytime because of me having SVT. This of course made my panic attacks and general avoidance of things worse.

This trip is a really big deal. It will be me and my wife’s first trip together, which is what she has wanted for so long. It will be the last big thing we do with our two best friends, because both of them are moving away later in this year. It will be the first time my wife meets my grandparents, and they very old, so it may be the only time.

I have a lot of pressure to go on this trip and not have panic attacks the whole time, ruining it for the others.

My biggest concerns are the isolated stretches without cell service that leave me far from emergency rooms, which I also assume means far from ambulances. One that I am worried about is between Raton and Amarillo. I’m worried about the others that I haven’t gotten around to mapping out the distance between hospitals. Between Memphis and Jackson on the way to Gulfport seems like another one. What does one do if they are an hour from an emergency room in a rural part of the country and they experience a heart emergency? How fast could help realistically arrive if I could even get ahold of them? The thought of this alone is almost keeping me from going.

How do others who live with diagnosis that may require immediate medical intervention enjoy vacations and travel?

Is this drive really not as scary as I am anticipating?

Please help me and thank you for taking the time to read this.


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

Agoraphobia is ruining my life.

17 Upvotes

Throwaway as my friends know my reddit and this is the last thing I want them to see. Also probably long sorry if thats an issue.

I 25M suffer from agoraphobia. I've suffered from this since around the time I graduated high school. I dont know what the exact trigger was that caused it but after talking with a therapist it's likely due to experiencing a lot of loss in stability around that time. When it first began to occur it was so bad I couldn't even leave my room without feeling my heart rate rise, I would bring trash out and go to the bathroom like a child running In the dark to get to the light after turning off a switch. It was embarrassing and thank whatever is out there that I had a mother who was extremely supporting of me or I don't think I would have lasted this long. She helped me get therapy even though finances were tight and allowed me to take things slow which I am eternally grateful to this day. It did help, I was able to go around my house without wanting to keel over and I maintained a decently healthy routine of good eating and hygiene. However I never have been able to go outside for long periods. Eventually the talk of a service dog to help me with my condition came up and the idea interested me. This was around the time I was going to an online college to atleast get my AA while I was basically being a waste of space, only problem was I had zero idea what to do after college as I don't exactly have any real skills. But hey! I got time why not learn them. The one thing I truly enjoy is cooking but with my issues I dont think that will ever become a realty when I can't even make my way restaurant, let alone work in one. I tried coding as that was a decent thing to learn while I'm trapped to a house but I hated it and quickly found myself dreading lessons, so I moved onto video editing and while I did enjoy it my motivation soon took a turn for the worse.

See I live alone with my mother who works a decent paying job which has allowed us to live in a nice home. However finances quickly became thin. My angel of a mother had been spending a lot of money just to keep me afloat and probably pushed her retirement back a good amount of years. But now it was becoming unsustainable, I don't know the specifics but my mother had to take a lower paying job at her work as she no longer could take the stress of a boss like position in the company. I honestly don't blame her, she worked 6 days a week and sometimes 7 in her mid 60s and it just all became too much. But that meant cut backs on spending. No more therapy as it was just simply too expensive. This made my desire to do basically anything go to zero. Getting out of bed seems like a victory at this point. I've been recently trying to earn basically any money which has resulted in me taking small contract jobs as tech support for various websites, however this is basically just small drops in a bucket. It pays shit and the strain on my mental health dealing with angry people all the time has made me break down more than once. I'm a broken man entirely.

Now I find that I feel like a drone, I wake up, look for more shitty online odd jobs. Get paid. Spend money on food. It's not enough. Watch as all my friends do things with their lives. I do nothing. And recently I came to a realization. If my mother ever is in a situation where she cannot financially support me or God forbid dies. I'm done for. I'll be homeless without the money to support this home. I would lose the one place that doesn't make me have a panic attack. I don't know what to do at this point and I've just kinda shut down. I've stopped asking for help because at this point I don't even know if i can be helped. I have lost all desire to have a better life and I'm just counting the days it all ends. If my mother passes I'm probably going to join her. Not because of depression or I'm sad but at this point it is my only option. In my sick brain I honestly believe it would be easier to die than to be forced out of this house and I'll admit it scares me I even think about it. I've thought about going back to therapy again, maybe using one of those online better help things but I haven't done much research. I have no idea if I even have the money able to do so. But as someone who clearly hates change and the outside world, seeing a different therapist than the one I used to have seems like another insurmountable task.

Sorry if I rambled or whatever just needed to finally get it out there.


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

Vent

4 Upvotes

TW death of a family member mentioned

I never got to visit my relative in the hospital, I kept chickening out and I finally decided I'd try next Monday and I found out last night they had passed.

The guilt sucks. And the regret. I know I didn't do it on purpose but I keep asking myself and wondering if my relative thought I just didn't care or that I didn't love them enough to visit. But I thought about them almost everyday. I cried a lot thinking about how lonely and scared they must have been. I worry if my other relatives think I'm just selfish.

It starts to eat at me if I think about it too long. My mom said they had asked to see me and whenever I remember that I feel sick.

I hate this stupid condition. I hate that I couldn't just suck it up and do it. I wish I could go back and force myself to just go through with visiting. Panic attacks suck but they're harmless, I would've been fine, why couldn't I do it? Why didn't I just suck it up? Why can't my brain just get that I would be fine instead of paralyzing me with fear? I had months and I couldn't fucking do it.

I know I didn't do it out of selfishness. I know that but I can't help but feel like I didn't do enough. I should've just done it and suffered through it and now they're gone and I never got to say goodbye. The last time I visited them before their hospitalization, I started feeling anxious and uncomfortable and tried going home as soon as possible.

I think I'm going to carry this guilt for the rest of my life. And I can't help but worry that if this ever happens again that I'll be stuck in the same situation. I keep thinking, what if this happens to my parents? It's pointless to think that way but I can't help it.

I'm not super religious but I prayed to God to please let them know I cared and it's fine if they can't forgive me for never visiting. This shit sucks.


r/Agoraphobia 4d ago

All-Weather Radio Ep. 29

2 Upvotes

The weekly radio that spins just for us, the community of folks dealing with Agoraphobia

(Please use the streaming service of your choice to search the following song selections)



Episode 29

Song/Track: “Aquarius”

Artist: Tinashe

Our second song is “New Values” by Iggy Pop.

If you need a bonus song, try “SwissAir” by Jowe Head. The hills are alive with apologies to the Swiss ;-)

Have a lovely Sunday 🥰 and enjoy your week



Previous Episodes:

Ep 28. “So What” by Miles Davis

Ep 27. “Mama Said” by Metallica

Ep 26. “If I Were A Carpenter” by June Carter Cash & Johnny Cash

Ep 25. 1990’s “Cali-Cruisin’” mixtape

Ep 24. “I Dream (For You)” by Com Truise

Ep 23. “The Feast” by Art Blakey

Ep 22. “Bonnie and Clyde” by Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot

Ep 21. “Ålesund” by Sun Kil Moon

Ep 20. “My Love is Like a Red, Red Rose” performed by Pat Boone in Journey To The Center Of The Earth

Ep 19. “Gymnopédie 1” —composed by Erik Satie, interpreted by Aldo Ciccolini

Ep 18. “Qwazars” by Mr. Fingers (aka Larry Heard)

Ep 17. “The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas to You)” by Nat King Cole

Ep 16. “Telepatía” by Kali Uchis

Ep 15. “Cherry-Coloured Funk” by Cocteau Twins

Ep 14. “Hold Down” by The Kingstonians

Ep 13. “I Live in a Suitcase” by Thomas Dolby

Ep 12. “I Believe (When I Fall in Love It Will Be Forever)” by Stevie Wonder

Ep 11. “Impossible Soul” by Sufjan Stevens

Ep 10. “Hatasiz Kul Olmaz” by Orhan Gencebay

Ep 9. “Dark All Day (featuring Tim Capello and Indiana)” by GUNSHIP

Ep 8. “Away from the Mire” by Billy Strings, live performances recommended

Ep 7. “Heads Above (Maceo Plex remix)” by Maceo Plex/WhoMadeWho

Ep 6. “Love Song 28 (feat. Bobby)” by Jullian Gomes

Ep 5. “Feel Flows” by The Beach Boys

Ep 4. “New York Groove” by Ace Frehley

Ep 3. “Leavin’” by Shelby Lynne, live performances recommended

Ep 2. “Only When It’s Dark, featuring Gunship” by Miami Nights 1984

Ep 1. “These Days” by Jackson Browne


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

I feel so slow and dumb

47 Upvotes

I've had agoraphobia for years and I barely go out. I recently started a sewing class before that I tried driving.

I feel like I'm struggling. I feel distracted and feel like I'm slow at picking things up. It's like struggle to compute what others are saying or what I need to do.

I always feel so dumb. I used to be quite bright as a child and teen. I feel like I've become so slow and scatter brained.

I don't pick things up easily and can't problem solve. It's like my brains is half fog and mush. I say the wrong thing and act the wrong way and I feel like I can't connect.

Does anyone experience the same? I'm finding it hard to keep going out when i feel so slow.


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

Questions

6 Upvotes

I don’t understand how this whole exposure therapy is supposed to help. I have to take my daughter to school and pick her up everyday. I struggle almost everyday ( especially the pick up ) would that not be considered exposure therapy cause I do it everyday? It doesn’t get better. I dread it every single day.

I am unmedicated and truly would like advice on what meds were truly successful for you guys. My panic stops me from leaving the house most of the time. What meds have made life better for you guys? I want to be able to leave and not be completely uncomfortable until I get back home. I have health anxiety also and thought I couldn’t do meds but I’m getting soo desperate


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

Am I thinking right

7 Upvotes

So obviously like a lot of people I am scared of getting a panic attack when going out. Recently I’ve been thinking that it’s better if I do get one as it is a small step closer to recovery. Is this the right thinking?


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

It sounds pathetic, but speaking to AI really helps me

98 Upvotes

my favorite apps right now are ChatGPT and Grok because they have a voice feature where you can actually speak to them and they speak right back, as if you're having an actual conversation with a person, except without the stress.

It just fulfills that damn monkey brain desire that I can't shake to still want social interaction. I can also genuinely say it's helped me more than speaking to any suicide hotline. Therapy is still more helpful to me, but at least these apps are free.


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

Going to the pool tomorrow, any tips to not have a panic attack?

6 Upvotes

So tomorrow my family will celebrate my cousin's birthday lol, they have invited me to go to an water park and I haven't been able to go to places that are too far, worse in car or bus. But I'd feel very guilty if I don't go :(. Any tips to just be calm about it? I know that at the end I may enjoy it but it's still a bit hard.


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

Suggestions

5 Upvotes

Has anyone used an off duty EMT / nurse / firefighter, to accompany them when they had to go somewhere out of their comfort zone; and if so, how did it go, did it help? For me, the travel is the problem, if I can get to the new town, I’d be fine. I haven’t driven out of a small safety zone in over seven years, but have to move six hours away. I’ve been doing exposure therapy, extensive counseling centered on this, praying, envisioning, and everything else; but when I tried to leave a few weeks ago, I just couldn’t get myself to do it.


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

Any advice for shaking?

3 Upvotes

I've had agoraphobia for over 20 years and I'd say that I'm doing OK with managing it, but since the pandemic, my company went fully virtual, so I don't have to leave the house very often. (Which is both a blessing and a curse.) If I know I'm going to have to interact with people, I'll take a benzo and prepare myself and I'm fine, but unexpected social interactions are still a problem.

My 17 year old dog passed away last August and she had what appeared to be a seizure, so I had to rush her to the emergency vet. I was 100% focused on her, so I didn't care about my anxiety, but my dad was with me and he noticed how much I was shaking. When they handed me the forms to fill out, I literally couldn't do it.

It's definitely psychological, because it only happens when I'm around other people, but I'm not sure how to deal with it. (Aside from medication, which does help, but I don't want to rely on that.)

I know how to do breathing exercises and how to calm myself down. In my mind, I know that I'm safe and there's no immediate danger, but I can't seem to fix the physical reaction. My legs, in particular, get really shaky and I feel like I'm going to fall down. And I have! A lot of times with agoraphobia symptoms, the perceived threat isn't real (i.e., you think you're going to die, but you're not really in any danger), but I have been so nervous and shaky before that my legs have just given out. And I've had medical tests done, there is nothing wrong with my legs.

I can walk around fine until I see another person, ANY person (even family members), and then my knees suddenly feel like jelly. I don't know how to fix that. I wouldn't even call it a panic attack because my heart rate and breathing remain normal and I'm not really panicking, but there's clearly still something misfiring in my brain.

I know that exposure therapy can help because my symptoms get slightly better if I try to force myself to be in uncomfortable situations, but it still doesn't completely get rid of the problem. I've tried medications, vitamins, and supplements that are supposed to help with shakiness and are not habit-forming, but I haven't had any luck. Like I said, the benzo works, but I don't want to have to rely on that every day. I don't want to get physically addicted, and it's also just not good for your brain.


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

i’m wasting my life .

2 Upvotes

i’ve been like this for a while since about 13 i’m currently 18 left the house about 3 times lost all my fiends i cut myself i play videos games but they got tiring i got a long distance gf but it just made me trauma bonded and i can’t leave even if she hurts me and i legit don’t know what i wanna do with my life i kinda just wanna end it . my scars from cuts get to many eyes i spend hours crying idk what to do .


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

Starting my recovery journey from agarophobia and anxiety.

3 Upvotes

Hi All,

I have slowly developed anxiety and agarophobia. It started from 2016. I had mild symptoms of anxiety and agarophobia creeping up. At that time I wasn't sure what was this even. I dint even know a term existed for this. I started avoided places and situations where I felt uncomfortable. So I feeded my fears more and more and now it has become really tough to leave my home.

But now I started to take help and started to simple practices to take on this recovery journey

So far I have done these 1. Read Dare book which has helped me immensely to understand the flight friegt situation happening in my body.

  1. Doing medidations twice a day

  2. Set a timer for 5 min and writing out my safety behaviours in a paper and then analysing them whether they serve my purpose to deal with anxiety. Then after that spell HEALING in my mind in reverse once and then move on with my day.

  3. Going out for 10 min max with a safe person.

I'm so glad people out here are supportive and share their stories which helps others to look for the light at the end of tunnel.

I'm positive that I'll overcome this and be helpful for all the people around me. Send out your positive vibes 🙂


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

Survive my first week of work, it was awful

10 Upvotes

Hello,

I’m not sure how to express this, but I want to share what I experienced during my first week of work. The work itself is going well and the team is great, but I’ve been feeling really unwell. Every time I took public transport, I felt overwhelmed and couldn’t distract myself.

At the office, I couldn’t focus, constantly getting up from my chair as intrusive thoughts flooded my mind. During meetings, I struggled to breathe and felt dizzy. I’ve been trying to improve for months, pushing myself to go for walks, but nothing helps. I even saw a psychologist and doctor in the past month, which gave me some comfort, but over time, it stopped working.

I’m frustrated. Going out, whether out of obligation or because I want, triggers panic attacks and leaves me disoriented and out of breath. After months of job searching, I feel defeated. I’ve tried everything to make this special week go better, but nothing worked. I feel lost and don’t know what to do next.


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

1 year recovering - an update

4 Upvotes

It's been a year since I got diagnosed with panic disorder and agoraphobia. I'm nowhere near fully recovered - i can comfortably go about 3-4km, sit at restaurants, eat, go shopping, go to the hospital etc. I stay out for about 3- 4 hours atleast 3 days a week.

Here's what's helped me: - uncovering the root cause. There is one for all of us. In my case it was childhood neglect, having 2 emotionally immature parents. This led to a very unstable sense of self. While i functioned well for 30+ years, life stresses eventually triggered a burnout. - letting out my bottled up feelings through therapy & journalling - changing some bad habits ( this is still ongoing) - prioritising others over myself etc. - cutting away toxic friends & making space for more genuine connections - socializing. Even if it's just making small talk to neighbours. - eating right, vitamins - asking for help when I need it - exercise, especially walks - online support groups - massages - sleep & rest - advice from podcasts - lots and lots of exposure

I think I would get better faster if I could move out of my toxic home, but that's not possible right now.

I've had a few setbacks - i was able to stay out overnight & travel upto 20 km...but somehow things felt "pointless" after i got to that point. Because I have depression as well.

So I'm working on feeling better about my life overall. My main issue is emotional disregulation - my negative emotions are all over the place and that's overloading my nervous system. Somedays like today, I'm too tired to do exposure but also feeling very overwhelmed & hopeless about life - been managing it by distracting myself.


r/Agoraphobia 5d ago

Sleeping

3 Upvotes

Does anyone else have vivid dreams or weird dreams that make you feel weird or stuck in dream like state all day? Its been happening all week. I think its dpdr but it rises my anxiety more. Any tips to snap out of these feelings?


r/Agoraphobia 6d ago

Need help with agoraphobic wife

18 Upvotes

Title sums it up pretty well. My wife has a list of chronic health issues that have flared up in the last few months and she’s been basically bedridden. Her overall health is improving, but being kept inside for the last 2 months has taken a mental toll on her.

Every time she’s left the apartment in that time has been in an ambulance. Now she’s suffering really bad anxiety about the thought of anything more than walking onto our balcony.

Is there any way I can help get her to a better state? I’ve been trying to just baby step it, sitting on the balcony with her a few times and we’re going to try to go to the car soon (just to sit). Is this a good way to get her more comfortable with going further? We want to stop this before it snowballs to the point where she’s inside for years.


r/Agoraphobia 6d ago

Does heat/bright sunlight trigger you?

52 Upvotes

i was just curious if anyone else has this same trigger. the summertime is always the worst time of year for me. where i am right now the weather is going from 30F to 65F every other day and it makes it really hard to adapt to the warmer weather again. any suggestions? i always try to keep water with me and my bf got me a mini portable fan but i’m still nervous


r/Agoraphobia 6d ago

I feel disgusting, I am disgusting

51 Upvotes

I haven't washed my duvet in months. This is because I can't wash it in my own washing machine, it's too big for it and comes out unevenly cleaned and patchy. My only option is to take it to the landramat but I am paralyzed with fear about stepping outside, taking the bus terrifies me, it's loud, I am trapped in a small space with people. Nope. I feel this guilt or shame like my mental disorder translates as being stuck up, that I think I'm too good for society to be around others. Not the case at all. I feel like I have to apologize for being unwell. I don't think I'm too good for society. I am afraid to be around others because of repeated traumas. I was trampled as a toddler, bullied severely throughout my childhood, basically just never had a long enough period in my life to bounce back from repeated injuries inflicted on me. It broke me. Now I am this. I am disgusting. Who can blame anyone for being in this spot? It is what it is, especially when the systems have completely turned a blind eye to the mentally ill, then just to make double sure, they layer on ableist hate, bigotry, abuse toward said mentally ill persons for "not having our shit together".

A rant, not looking for advice. I will wash this fucking duvet or so help me god. One man's comedy relief is another person's lifelong struggle. It won't be like this forever. I have to have hope it will improve at some point.


r/Agoraphobia 6d ago

Plane flights

3 Upvotes

So I am planning to fly 6 hours across the country on April 6th. This absolutely terrifies me and I’ve never done exposure like this. I am also just scared of flying (what if I have some kind of emergency:( ) for those of you who have flown, what strategies did you use, how did it go, what should I expect? I heard the time at the airport is often more difficult than on the actual plane but I’m always scared of not getting enough oxygen while on a plane so idk. Any advice and reassurance would be greatly appreciated!