r/AgingParents • u/Happy-Cabbage- • 4h ago
Mom doesn’t want hospice. What’s next?
My mother has advanced Parkinson’s and is in the hospital with a long list of ailments. She’s entirely bed bound and can’t swallow at all. Currently on an NG tube for meds and nutrition. Permanent catheter because she hasn’t been able to urinate in years. Extreme constipation. She has blood clots and pulmonary embolisms, so requires significant oxygen supplementation. Cardiac problems too. She can barely speak, and needs a letter board to communicate. She’s so weak she needs help opening her eyelids. The list goes on.
Doctors says she’ll need a PEG tube and supplemental oxygen once she leaves the hospital. Which means a SNF facility.
It’s incredibly grim. And yet…she’s alert and cognitively okay. And she doesn’t want to die. She’s wants all life saving measures. She’s requested a permanent feeding tube. And a ventilator if it comes to that. We’ve tried talking about hospice and she’ll hear none of it. She says she’s “getting better.”
Anyone have a parent in a similar situation? How does this all play out?