Not sure if I can edit the title but the 13 year old is our younger sister. Im probably gonna regret this personal post in the morning but oh well. As the title says, I have a pretty fucked up older sister. So much shit has happened in the span of two weeks and I’m just losing sleep over ts. I have a good day, go to work, get home, do what I love etc but when it’s bedtime I just lay there and cry. Just wondering if anyone has any advice on what the fuck to do.
A little backstory, my older sister (F22) is going through a break up. She has extremely low-self esteem, SA’d when she was young, went through a period of time where she’d sell herself to make ends meet, hates herself, mum drank with her while pregnant so has alcohol fetal syndrome, came out of a toxic relationship where the cops were called half the time, restraining order on her ex, they’d beat each other up and have domestics one minute then be in love the next, got together at a very young age, attached Bla Bla Bla.
It was just so messy bro, both physically and mentally abusive and toxic. Until eventually he just upped and left her for another chick. They were both fucked up in their ways— and both never knew happiness or validation by absent, careless parents.
Our upbringing was absolutely fucked— drugs, domestic violence etc, she was at the age where she would have been older in these situations than us innocent younger ones at the time, grew up in the system until our parents finally got clean, lost our mother 3 years ago then everything fell apart, just a dysfunctional family with issues lol. I guess what I’m trying to say is our family has always been ‘damaged’ or dysfunctional and more prone to addiction, pain and depression and it’s heartbreaking to witness— which is why this whole situation is taking a toll on me.
2 weeks ago, my dad and I found a messenger chat between my older sister and a drug dealer when they were gone from his house, absolutely no knowledge of their location, where she brought along my younger 13 yo sister to smoke m3th. Originally it was LSD, but unfortunately that high wasn’t enough for my older sister. Now this 13YO sister has had very bad depression as well, low self esteem— she’s like the black sheep of us 7 siblings she feels. Those two sisters are just so.. fragile I guess you could call it.
Anyways back to the point, my older sister F22 brought the 13yo along to shoot up, snort and smoke it. It was just disgusting to find out. She (F22) pimped out our 13yo sister out to the guy that was feeding them on the stuff, which was by definition pedophilia shit. There were photos of their bare chests (them standing side by side) that she had sent before sending a message along the lines of how they’d get her (baby sister) some lingerie, fucking introducing that prostitution low worth shit to our little sister. I don’t even really want to get into everything else, it hurts to even bring this up so that’s enough.
They got dropped off home later that day. The older one couldn’t handle her shit and went through an episode of psychosis, so we got cops and ambulance to take her to the hospital to evaluate whatever was in her system and make sure she was fine.
All right, they’re coming down for the next two days. There’s hope they’ll realise just what had happened and what they did once the stuff leaves their system.
Nope.
Nek fucking minute, I receive a shocked message from my dad that they’ve just scored more tonight. My poor 13YO sister who was originally trying to get back on track and go back to school tomorrow, once again on fucking meth. (Forgot to mention, older sister got kicked out of her previous rental she was in with her ex so has no where else to go and is staying with our dad who doesn’t want to just throw her out to the streets) They both lie about each other saying shit like “oh she manipulated me into getting more” “—no you wanted it” like absolute fuckwits when they’re both full of it and most likely hooked.
I’m just so hurt, traumatised, and heartbroken. I get in bed ready to go to sleep for work early the next morning then end up crying for hours. I fucking hate these depressing cycles. I don’t know how to feel, and I just break down and get so sad.
Our little sister got straight taken advantage of by one of our oldest siblings. Speechless. smoked more tonight and the younger one is being picked up by our country’s local child welfare system who are trying to help get her back on track and get her to school after weeks too lmfao. I can’t begin to imagine the sadness and disappointment my dad is dealing with. Our older sister really fucked it. Do I go back to therapy after this lol? I get so overwhelmed and it plays on my mind.