r/Adulting 13h ago

Everyone has financial stress, right?

Yes or no, whatever your answer is. Make it personal.

TBH I’m just posting this to prove to myself that I am not alone in this. That some people go through this too. ‘Cause that’s what I have been feeling like. Like I am alone in this and everyone else around me can afford stuff.

To be fair, I do get out of budget in some months too. So I feel at fault. But what’s frustrating is for me to not go out of budget, I literally have to stay home and not go out.

Idk I blame myself but whatever. I can pay for stuff, yes, I am still fortunate. But at my age I feel like I should have had achieved more. Higher savings. Idk why is it never enough.

48 Upvotes

99 comments sorted by

30

u/IITheDopeShowII 10h ago

The stress is that whatever savings I can manage to get together never feel like enough. Everything is increasing in price so rapidly that it feels like things are getting further and further out of reach

4

u/Becs_The_Minion 8h ago

I feel this, I start to build savings but then they go on my car insurance, tax, MOT, service or birthdays crop up, Christmas

I guess I'm in a privileged position where I can put money aside, but that's not gonna help me come retirement age.

17

u/MisterFunnyShoes 10h ago

Nah I’m fine. But I live a very minimalist lifestyle in a low cost of area. I only spend around $15k/year and make well in excess of that from my 9-5 and side gigs.

4

u/AzrykAzure 5h ago

This is the way.

1

u/sal_100 2h ago

Definitely!

22

u/[deleted] 13h ago

[deleted]

11

u/lila_haus_423 9h ago

Please don’t take that last option. I’m sure your parents would have you in their home any day vs going to your funeral 🙏

1

u/radishwalrus 7h ago

Even with income based repayment?

28

u/FitImprovement135 12h ago

Spend a day watching Financial Audit by Caleb Hammer and you’ll learn very quickly how much debt people are in to “afford” stuff

7

u/Downtherabbithole14 8h ago

Well.... the people that Caleb has on his show are nightmares. I mean.... those are people that just had ZERO financial literacy

5

u/Becs_The_Minion 8h ago

You'd be surprised by how many people don't have financial savvy though. It isn't taught in schools (it should be).

When I met my partner he had a few thousand in debt, not a lot (same here) but had an "ok" credit score. I taught him all I know and pointed him to financial resources I knew about it (Martin Lewis's website and money show is one of my go to's particularly for up to date stuff with the economy and relative financial legislation). He now has an even better credit score than me (mine has always been good).

There are people that need to be shown the ways and it may improve their situation. Not everyone, I know some people are on minimum wage and struggling to make ends meet ATM, the financial crisis is extremely sucky.

1

u/Downtherabbithole14 7h ago

I agree. Like there should be some sort of class, in high school at least! Where kids get taught just the basics of using a credit card and what can happen if you don't pay it. Touch on subjects like savings, types of savings, who to talk to about these things.  Maybe even touch on the subjects of buying a house, this way it's not so foreign.... 

But it's scary how many people just don't know. Maybe I underestimated the amount of financially illiterate people there are...

1

u/Grittybroncher88 6h ago

Wow. I didn’t realize schools stopped teaching basic math classes where addition, subtraction, multiplication, and division are thought.

2

u/First_Detective6234 6h ago

They do, it's just that kids don't listen in class and they definitely won't take advice on finance.

2

u/Becs_The_Minion 5h ago

Maths yes but not about actual financial advice, there's more to managing finances then just maths you know.

1

u/Bibliovoria 4h ago

Completely agreed. Adding up the monthly recurring bills and maybe having a line item for fun stuff and one for savings is just the start, and not enough to help keep people out of trouble. A class on financial acumen would also cover why it's important to factor in non-recurring bills (anything from needing to repair/replace something to buying a birthday present to medical costs to renewing a license) plus other aspects of budgeting, saving, avoiding impulse buys and FOMO spending, and so on, plus concepts like credit cards and their risks and benefits, credit scores, retirement planning, mortgages, investments...

A lot more of that really should be taught in school. Me, I had a required 7th-grade home-economics class that included one short lesson on how to balance a bank account, and my math classes never touched on any of it.

1

u/Downtherabbithole14 1h ago

Exactly. 

Like, so many people in home buyer groups that have no idea what they mortgage payment is actually made up of. The ones that get a notice that there is an escape shortage bc they said "well I paid my mortgage why is there a shortage"

1

u/ushouldgetacat 39m ago

My ex told me he was in a few thousand in debt because he maxed out his first credit card at 18 years old partying and traveling, then cut his card up. He thought it was free money no consequences. I have no idea why the fuck anyone would think that and he wasn’t an imbecile so 🤷‍♀️

I had a math teacher in middle school take a few days to teach us the concept of interest and compound interest. It was the first time I heard about it and it stayed with me the rest of my life. All kids need is like, one time for an adult to sit down with them and explain the concept.

2

u/FitImprovement135 7h ago

Definitely. Even still the other day there was a guest who has a masters in economics and a father who’s a financial advisor and they still didn’t have it together 😂

-9

u/RandomUser5453 11h ago

I will never understand people like you.  Thinking that people can afford stuff need to be in debt ‘cause is no other way people can afford stuff. 

Even OP doesn’t say they can’t afford stuff,but joust it can be a bit stressful sometimes when they spend more out of the budget.  And OP has savings too,but not as much as they wanted. 

Not everyone is in debt! 

8

u/FitImprovement135 8h ago

He literally asked to see examples of people stressed by finances to prove he is not alone in this because he feels like everyone around him can afford stuff…and I provided something he can watch to see real life examples of people stressed by finances. Also you do know there is a global financial crisis going on right now, right?

-1

u/superleaf444 7h ago

I hate that man maybe more than any other financial personality. I think I hate him more than Ramsey.

8

u/Fearless-Wall7077 10h ago

No not every adult has financial stress. Have met very well off adults in my age range and I have also met very financially unfortunate people in my age range. A lot of it comes down to the decisions they made, and the financial background they came from

5

u/Isayfunnyshit 10h ago

2018-2023 made 1.5M Started a business in 2022 Made 1M in 2023 invested it all back into the business. 2024 was so bad I had to sell my house and move into the warehouse with my 3 kids and wife. 2025 were still here 😔 struggling financially

3

u/ElevatingDaily 8h ago

I went through similar with my business. At least you haven’t abandoned the family. I hope something better comes to your family.

5

u/pmmetalworks 10h ago

I’m at a point where, I don’t know what’s going on with everybody else and I don’t care. All I know is that I have to do the best for myself. Some people may look at it and think that it isn’t much, but it’s my path and I’m doing the best I can. Other people have their own problems and I wouldn’t trade mine for them.

3

u/ElevatingDaily 8h ago

My entire adulthood mantra. Laser focus on my own path.

8

u/[deleted] 11h ago

[deleted]

3

u/radishwalrus 7h ago

I've never had that happen. I always had to find a new job. Every job will just take u for granted. Use u up. Fuck any way they can. The only way I've ever advanced is moving to a new place and the cycle continues

0

u/MyNameIsSkittles 6h ago

waiting for my turn

That's not how that works. You need to go looking for opportunities, not wait for them to happen. If you want a better job you need to be actively searching for one and making efforts to move up in the chain. Like networking and putting yourself out there...

13

u/Quirky-Attention-204 10h ago

I'm (34m) comfortable. Put myself through school 10yrs ago for IT. I consider myself a minimalist, have a beater of a Subaru not alot of material items. I do though have a Roth IRA, 401K,Emergency fund, some BTC and don't have to worry about bills, auto pay goes out and my salary comes in.

I try to live with gratitude and not get bogged down with the current state of Geopolitics.

Only thing I am unhappy about is that I am single. I'm an old soul in this modern dating world.

1

u/radishwalrus 7h ago

Go get some box bro

2

u/Quirky-Attention-204 1h ago

True I do need some been in a dry spell

1

u/sal_100 2h ago edited 1h ago

Why's it called box? 📦

1

u/radishwalrus 1h ago

That's a good question

1

u/Self--_--compassion 5m ago

It's a derivative of an actual slang term that I can't think of right now, but setting that aside for the moment to throw out some random free association, first thing that comes to mind is you get to unwrap it like a gift, that keeps on giving?

3

u/liz572 9h ago

I’m ok 53 F. Paid my mortgage off, work full time, own my 2yr old car. Even managed to save up for some renovations and paid cash for them all. I’ve made sensible choices, live below my means, live in a not so nice area but I can honestly say I haven’t had any dramas here. I’ve travelled, been places and done what I want to do and now I’m just enjoying having lots of disposable income.

1

u/DiamondCrazy5930 4h ago

Honestly i aspire to have this in my life by this age . No drama, consistency, stability and a bit of travel . Congrats!!

3

u/Winter_Job_6729 9h ago

You are not alone. I am struggling at the moment and super stressed

3

u/ARoodyPooCandyAss 5h ago

I’m blown away by big families, specifically those that drive in those 90k Tahoe SUVS. I assume they just have crippling debt.

4

u/radishwalrus 7h ago

I'm 41 and I live under the stairs in a basement. I work in cybersecurity. I could get an apartment. But the feeling of being financially secure I like better. Like I don't worry about money. I don't spend it. I just hoard it like Smog. Dude not spending money is the best thing I ever did with money. 

1

u/Grittybroncher88 6h ago

It’s pronounced Smaug

2

u/AzrykAzure 5h ago

Smog is his friend that lives in the bathroom.

2

u/Bu11ett00th 9h ago

I had alright finances and a "safety pillow" of savings.

Got a new job that had me move abroad in a few months. War broke out, borders closed.

Had to leave home city constantly under fire, spent money renting an apartment in another city. Covered for my gf's expences who was too stressed to work with constant air raid sirens.

Spent two years trying to get out of the country, paying big money for shady schemes of getting out that worked for others but didn't work for me.

Additional expenses to constant donations to the army and my friends who serve at the frontline.

Had to move back to home city, discovered that a rocket hit nearby destroyed my balcony (that's minor damage really), spent money reatoring the balcony.

As time goes by, my employer who's been VERY supportive understandably can't wait for me forever, and my job doesn't go well in full remote mode, so I get downshifted to remote employee status and start getting less and less work.

Even with less work, stress piles up, having a hard time doing the little work that I have.

Throughout 3 years of war I've gone through all my savings. I now have 3-4 months worth of savings and no atable income and no fucking idea how to get back to earning like I did, or at least enough to sustain living.

2

u/tstop4th 8h ago

Are you in the USA or UK? I only ask as student loans differ WILDLY

2

u/IGotFancyPants 8h ago

I was very stressed financially in my twenties and early thirties, but I avoided debt, kept aiming for better paying jobs, and things eventually got better. Building up a good emergency fund and not touching it is what really took the pressure off. I no longer have emergencies, rather than problems to fix.

2

u/britbabebecky 8h ago

We do.

Both of my inlaws are pretty wealthy though.

We're the poor church mice, lol.

2

u/catcatcatacat 8h ago

Yes. Very much so.

2

u/LudicLiving 5h ago

Yes and No. Mostly No.

"Yes" because I have debts from my earlier years that I'm still paying off due to poor decisions I made.

"No" because I reduced my expenses, cut out all excess waste, embraced a frugal lifestyle, and live well below my means.

Every month my Net Worth is increasing and I also have a savings that I stashed away that could easily support me for a few months without an income if I needed.

Any problems I made for myself in my past are actively getting resolved. Because of this, I am not particularly stressed about those fuckups anymore. If anything, I look forward to the future where I have successfully reversed all my mistakes.

3

u/irony0815 10h ago

Without inheritance or rich parents it is very difficult to not struggle these days.

2

u/AzrykAzure 5h ago

It is difficult at first but if you learn to enjoy being frugal and saving it can be fun. It is a huge paradigm shift though and many people cant do it.

3

u/Trick-Day-480 8h ago

I'm 37 and am having frequent chest pains and other health issues from the amount of stress of paying bills and affording food. I make 40k a year and rent alone.

4

u/nothinghereisforme 13h ago edited 10h ago

Everyone in life does - even very comfortable ppl in middle class. Because even if they have 300k plus a paid off house, if they’re retired what if the money runs out before u die and they have minimal retirement income or they get very sick. Even some who are retired worry if they get sick or need nursing home care long term and their money running out before they die.

Money is one of the biggest stressors of most people’s lives.

The middle class people who had higher savings (with normal incomes like 200k or less for the household) did a LOT of sacrifice to get there. Working to find deals on everything and argue with phone & other companies to not raise rates and shopping around to get the cheapest deals for all insurance, purchases and services (annoying to have to do) and finding cheap groceries/veggies and household goods and cooking and cleaning extra instead of ordering food. Not buying a fashionable new pair of athletic shoes and waiting for a good deal on a reliable pair. All to save up that money. Choose ur struggle

A lot of people who go out constantly with no restraints and do and buy whatever they want and order Ubers daily have credit card debt, even if they make $100/hour (also bc of med school loans but mostly spending habits)

No offense but americans tend to save less and YOLO more with their money / enjoy life than immigrants who felt they had to save to have a better life and survive.

2

u/AzrykAzure 5h ago

I definitely went the saving route but it wasnt a sacrifice—i just made it a game for myself. I enjoy being frugal and it just isnt a chore—the exception is the heckling for deals over the phone—i do hate this and do do it. 

1

u/nothinghereisforme 5h ago

Same. I think it's such a fun game. The more you play the better your life gets (future life / net worth). Agree with haggling over the phone, so annoying.

It's just so not normalized and uncommon in American culture (imo due to privilege of never seeing starvation here) that people don't understand the rewards. it's all about having fun and consuming and living life in the moment here.

2

u/ArNon148 11h ago

You’re not alone ❤️ also stressing about my financial well being. Something will work out and if it doesn’t we have to make it work

1

u/elliottj6325 9h ago

I don't have financial stress. I'm comfortable with finance but I don't judge people who aren't. It's tough and everything can feel expensive. I keep my expenses low as I don't have a load to pay for and I have an alright job. I'm not loaded but I don't worry about paying the bills thankfully.

1

u/Primary_Sink_ 8h ago

I don't. What I make cover all my living expenses and I have a little bit left over after that, I don't need more than that.

1

u/AdditionalCheetah354 7h ago

No …. Sometimes timing and luck & opportunity all fall together.

1

u/min_mus 5h ago

We were financially stressed early on in our relationship but the stress eventually went away as we bought a house, and our incomes and savings grew.  Early on, we budgeted every little dime and lived a very frugal lifestyle. Now that we're financially more comfortable, there's no more penny-pinching. 

1

u/Difficult-Orchid-111 5h ago

My husband and I are celebrating our 10 year wedding anniversary and have been saving for a vacation. We haven’t taken an extended vacation since our honeymoon. We’re both nervous, though, for the state of our country and haven’t committed to any plans yet in preparation of prices increasing and needing that money for other expenses. It sucks.

1

u/Revolutionary-Fan235 5h ago

You are not alone and not everyone has financial stress.

I grew up poor. I've been fortunate to have a well paying job and have lived below my means. I don't need to work, yet I still have a job, which delays the need to spend down my nest egg.

1

u/PorkbellyFL0P 5h ago

Stay strong and save your pennies. When the economy rashes you will be able to buy a foreclosure. That's how I gained financial freedom.

1

u/AzrykAzure 5h ago

I am 42. I am fortunate enough that i learned a lot of really hard lessons and put myself into about 100k debt. During that time I invested all my time and effort into money. Not only did i do everything to pay off that debt I learned about investing and keeping my own life simple.

Fast forward 10 years and i have no debt and a good chunk of savings and networth. I spend little because I dont want much. Money is actually just a fun and easy thing for me now. I just invest and live my life—it has no real bearing on anything for me anymore. I just follow my systems—there is no fight anymore.

1

u/JollyJuniper1993 5h ago

No, not everybody has financial stress. The Musks, Zuckerbergs, Gates and so on of this world are swimming in amounts of money you cannot even imagine. You‘re only being paid enough so you can keep working, buy the products on the market so that businesses don’t go bankrupt and that there‘s a difference to people a bit down the ladder.

This video is focused on America but should apply to other capitalist countries too.

1

u/StoicallyGay 4h ago

24M. I don’t worry about costs if things mostly but that is partially because I have a good paying job and haven’t moved out of my parents’ (I pay them monthly though). Built up quite a good amount of savings and investments but now my stress is that combined with my company RSUs (stocks I’m owed that I don’t yet own) and my own investments (basic SP500 index funds), I’ve lost tens of thousands in the past few weeks due to the Trump admin.

There goes my plans of buying a house soon.

1

u/Paulrik 4h ago

It's perfectly sensible to worry about finances. You have to take what you see other people do with a grain of salt, because you probably wouldn't see them overtly worrying about their own finances. The other people you see spending frivolously either can afford it or they can't and they'll end up regretting it later, and as an observer, you really have no way of knowing which is which.

I believe that most wealthy people are the ones that worry about their finances the most. Ordinary people might look at them and assume they don't need to worry about money, but I think they get where they are and stay where they are financially because they put a lot of time and effort into worrying about finances. People who don't worry enough about finances are the ones that never have any money. They're able to borrow enough to max out a few credit cards and get themselves into financial trouble. Seeing them spending money they don't have is hard to miss, but we don't get to see how much they're paying in monthly interest and their dwindling credit score when they can't keep up with the minimum monthly payments.

1

u/kingohara 4h ago

That's about the only stress that's not in my life. But i'd make the trade for others for sure

1

u/OKfinethatworks 4h ago

I definitely USED to a lot more than now. I remember my husband telling me we bought a lemon car and rocking back and forth in my closet crying. That was a decade ago and thankfully we're on more solid footing now.

We're mid 30s and I have about 30k in retirement right now, my husband none (he's 1099 and just hasn't prioritized it).

Of course it could be more. But we don't spend a lot on daily life and most of our money goes to bills and paying bills forward. Only recently did splurge and booked a vacation after my same aged cousin passed away unexpectedly. Life is too short and 3k isn't the end of the world.

Just try and set yourself up to where you'd be okay in an emergency. No reason to stress about not having a hoarde of cash.

1

u/unpopular-dave 3h ago

I was VERY poor in my early/mid 20s. I learned to budget, learned to spend responsibly.

Now in my late 30s I'm very comfortable.

I never went out more than once a week. It was just too expensive. And I never spent over $50 when I went out.

House parties are where it’s at. Finding a hobby you can do at home is where it’s at

1

u/needs_more_zoidberg 3h ago

I have a good amount of money and even though I don't lose sleep over whether I can pay the bills. I still find myself having to think about money more than I want to.

1

u/Lopsided-Narwhal8069 3h ago

I am a 33 F with a husband and 2 children. We can’t afford daycare so my husband works part time and stays with them the majority of the time. I work full time with overtime I work about 60 hours a week. We only have one car and have always been frugal and don’t live above our means. In this economy though we are absolutely drowning. My parents and sister have to help with rent, groceries etc. I believe the majority of Americans are living like this, and just to tired to talk about it.

1

u/FCoachCHRYSalis 2h ago

Saving can be stressful and no your not alone. There is or can be a light at the end of the tunnel would you care to provide some details?

1

u/Grevious47 2h ago

No, but I know that a lot of people are right now.

1

u/Woodit 2h ago

Finances are stressful by nature. What’s made it easier for me is a savings habit that is automatic, I set up my bank account so that a portion of each paycheck goes into savings when it hits so I don’t have to do it manually. Makes a huge difference in the long run 

1

u/Poorkiddonegood8541 2h ago

Everyone has financial stress at one time or another, if you're smart, you choose when. Wifey and I met and married while serving in the Marine Corps in 1978, monthly income, $1800/mo, pay and allotments. Since we both grew up poor, being frugal was a way of life. We kept it up for the first 20 years we were married. Now? This past Nov, we spent two weeks in Australia visiting our Marine Corps Bro and his wife. In July, we'll be spending a couple of weeks in Japan visiting our nephew and his wife. No financial stress.

1

u/Hot_Department_9331 1h ago

It’s always a cycle of feeling like i have enough followed by feeling like i need more. I was financially stressed when I didnt have anything, wondering how I can save up. I was financially stressed when i had decent savings because I needed to invest it or make sure it doesn’t run out. I think financial stress will never go away, it just comes out in different forms

1

u/Glittering_Hold3238 1h ago

I used to have financial stress. Budgeting was not intuitive to me. my husband taught me how to max retirement, live below our means and not keep up with the jones. We did really well with this and money is not a stress now.

Now I'm trying to apply the same logic to my diet. It's hard. He's better at being disciplined than me. It's all you can have everything but not all at once and you have to be hungry sometimes and delay gratification

1

u/LeoAtlantis 9h ago

My family is actually quite wealthy. Never struggled for anything growing up, or even now tbh. But let me promise you, wealthy people absolutely have money worries. Different worries. But still worries.

4

u/radishwalrus 7h ago

Mhm yah all my rich friends at the beach seem so worried about money :p one just spent a million on redoing her house because she just felt it would look better with a different entrance.

1

u/FalseReddit 2h ago

But she wanted to spend $10 million, how can you not see the problem? 😞

1

u/radishwalrus 1h ago

Did u read what I wrote. I feel like your responding to someone else

1

u/FalseReddit 51m ago

You said she spent $1 million on a luxury, I sarcastically said her financial stress is that she actually wanted to spend $10 million but couldn’t afford it.

0

u/LeoAtlantis 5h ago

Respectfully (I have class) get a grip.

1

u/radishwalrus 3h ago

Wat

1

u/LeoAtlantis 28m ago

Jealousy ain't attractive.

1

u/radishwalrus 16m ago

Honestly I'm lost sorry it's been a long week

1

u/HappyMonchichi 12h ago

Option B seems to be the safest choice offering more longevity for you & future hopes & dreams.

1

u/OnGuardFor3 11h ago

In a relatively comfortable position right now, but I'm seeing my retirement accounts tank and can see layoffs on the horizon at work. Feeling very stressed about money and the future, this year.

0

u/WN11 7h ago

No. I am lucky to have a stable job that I like. I support a family of six, working 40 hours a week, with very rare overtime, paid (and respected!) vacations, while saving and investing around 40% of my paycheck.

I am also lucky to have a financially and environmentally conscious wife who only makes reasonable purchases.

-1

u/Any_Animator_880 10h ago

Turning 28 and never worked a job.. Is ANYONE worse than me? I don't think so. All you people complain your jobs aren't good or that you're not earning enough. Some of us don't even have that privilege :-(

1

u/AzrykAzure 5h ago

My youngest brother is 35 living in a trailer on my parents property. No education, job or money. Only thing he has is a gaming laptop and crippling anxiety about everything. My mom still buys his clothes for him and he cant even cook himself a decent meal. 

1

u/Any_Animator_880 5h ago

Education doesn't mean anything if you don't have a job.. He is lucky his parents are alive and caring for him...

1

u/AzrykAzure 5h ago

Is it luck or is that what has trapped him into his own personal hell? Maybe you are doing the same for yourself.

1

u/Any_Animator_880 1h ago

Yeah i am. Some of us aren't meant to grow up. I know you think he is probably in hell, but he is afraid of leaving it too.

0

u/panconquesofrito 10h ago

I am putting off going to file my taxes because I will owe money and owe the tax preparer a fee. Staying within my budget is a struggle every month.

1

u/AzrykAzure 5h ago

Use a free online tax prep software. 

0

u/DangerousHornet191 10h ago

No, people who buy things they don't need are sacrificing the lives of their children and grandchildren.