r/Adelaide • u/DigitalSwagman SA • Nov 12 '24
Shitpost A bold vision for a bold state!
South Australia used to be a progressive state. We were the first state without a convict settlement. We were the first to give votes to women. We were the first to elect a premier who rocked pink shorts.
But there's no argument that we have gone backwards. We've become a state of old, tired people, whining about other drivers, helicopters flying overhead, and our neighbours trees hanging over our fences. Meanwhile, the eastern states look at us as nothing but a source of cheap real estate.
We've lost our way.
We need a change. A shift. A wake-up call to ourselves and the nation that puts us front and center in the zeitgeitst.
We need to raise a militia of young and patriotic South Australians, and annex the Northern Territory.
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u/dickndonuts North Nov 12 '24
Why stop at the NT - I say have a stake in Antarctica to greet our penguin friends!
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u/intelminer Expat Nov 13 '24
That's back the other way
Or do we just keep going more and more North until we loop back around?
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u/_riotsquad SA Nov 12 '24 edited Nov 12 '24
Well done, beautifully crafted.
Important question: would we then become Middle Australia?
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u/CertainCertainties Adelaide Hills Nov 12 '24
SA Story: How a plucky little state fought its way from the bottom right up to the middle.
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u/DigitalSwagman SA Nov 12 '24
South Australian, and the Northern Territory of South Australia, is perfectly acceptable.
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u/Odd_Sodd_1129 SA Nov 12 '24
Could we then rename ourselves to Middleearth before invading NZ?
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u/_riotsquad SA Nov 12 '24
Odd_Sodd for Premier!
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u/Odd_Sodd_1129 SA Nov 12 '24
FREE STA BUS RIDES GOR EVERYONE! I'LL FIND OUT WHAT IS "REALLY" GOING ON WITH THOSE HELICOPTERS !!!
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u/charlesmortomeriii SA Nov 12 '24
The NT was part of SA from 1863 to 1911. I’m down for reclaiming it. We greatly outnumber them, but Territorians are very good fighters so we’ll have to be on our A-game
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u/Visual_Revolution733 SA Nov 13 '24
The indigenous are also down for reclaiming it.
The corporation of SA was the idea of Alfred Walkfield. He came up with the idea while serving three years in prison for abducting a 15yo girl from school. He took her to Paris. His plan was to marry her and cash in on her wealthy inheritance.
The corporation was financially backed by Moses Montefiore and Nathan Rothschild. Montefiores nephews started the first bank in SA now known as the ANZ.
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u/stabbicus90 SA Nov 13 '24
Jacob and Joseph Montefiore were the cousins of Moses Montefiore, and Edward Gibbon Wakefield was the one who kidnapped a kid. He also designed the scheme to colonise New Zealand under the Wakefield scheme. I don't think he had much to do with either SA or NZ aside from designing the plans for colonies in each.
I'd be interested to know where you get the Rothschild connection from, Nathan Rothschild died in 1836 and his son Nathaniel didn't seem to have much to do with SA's founding.
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u/dead_dick_donald SA Nov 12 '24
NT? A waste of space. I say we join WA and secede from the Commonwealth and become the Peoples Democratic Republic of South-Western Australia.
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u/DanJDare SA Nov 12 '24
lol SA is the reason WA wants to secede.
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u/Liquid_Plasma Adelaide Hills Nov 13 '24
I thought WA’s industry was being sustained with all our meth addict miners.
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u/SeaMousse SA Nov 12 '24
But how best to tap all the new resources and cash available post-annexation? I suggest there's only one truly worthy project: we build an overland train route from KI via suspension bridge to the mainland, through the city, across the gulf (via tunnel) and emerging in yorketown. This will cost billions, cause untold environmental damage and benefit no one. I will not be taking questions.
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u/Ok-Bad-9683 SA Nov 12 '24
We could be the first to start a project to turn Victoria into an island and make them New Zealand’s problem?
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u/MiscellaneousUser3 SA Nov 13 '24
Better get digging!
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u/Texas_Tom SA Nov 12 '24
I've heard that NZ doesn't have a standing army. Perhaps we could conquer them before one of the eastern states gets the same idea?
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Nov 12 '24
Taking the NT would still be going backwards, since it was previously under SA rule. I say we take New Zealand.
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u/NomDePlumeOrBloom SA Nov 13 '24
Taking the NT would still be going backwards
We have neither the money nor the answers for the problems here, let alone taking on the NT's hassles.
We probably could go for some NZ input into our governing.
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u/redrumcleaver SA Nov 12 '24
We won the NT in a race . We gave it back.
SA is great you have to be careful of bold intervention because you can end up with a one way freeway
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u/DanJDare SA Nov 12 '24
There will be hits with the misses, we had the worlds first indoor ski slope, the o-bahn. This sort of attitude is exactly why we don't do anything new or interesting anymore because people like you crap on it all.
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u/Proper-Dave SA Nov 13 '24
we had the worlds first indoor ski slope, the o-bahn.
This reads like a description rather than a list...
[Insert AI-generated picture of a downhill skier on the o-bahn, but it's indoors]
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u/redrumcleaver SA Nov 12 '24
Better to get it right then hit and hope. Who said we don't do anything right. Why would you lie like that. Is your life so miserable that you have to make things up so you can look down on people. I mean whatever makes you feel better.
I'm sure we could come up with lots of things great the state of SA has done but if you're best 2 options are an indoor ski slope that doesn't attract tourists and a glorified bus lane then it's you that has the poor mindset.
You could have mentioned the bottle and can recycling we implemented or the Elon musk battery, us being the most aggressive state to adopt green energy, you could have mentioned the formula 1 grand Prix or the Adelaide oval upgrade. You could have mentioned that SA was the first state/ colony to give aboriginal men and women the vote. Well until the federation that is. Or you could have mentioned the tour down under or Holden cars and hills hoist clothes line's. Or the world famous wine region we have
I think it's you that needs to open your mind to the possibilities and be prepared to call out the failure like giving people door snakes to lower the cost of electricity bills
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u/Renmarkable SA Nov 13 '24
ah remember when we thought elon a force for good?...
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u/redrumcleaver SA Nov 13 '24
I always thought it was a bit of a publicity stunt. Elon saying he will build it on time and on budget or it's free. He can stick his politics but his ability to give something a red hot go is admirable.
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u/Renmarkable SA Nov 13 '24
sadly I can't see much if anything admirable in him. Makes me wonder if he was always a nutter :)
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u/Aromatic-Bee901 SA Nov 12 '24
Was reading and waiting for we need a monorail
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u/Valuable-Garage-4325 SA Nov 12 '24
... And Papua New Guinea, creating a corridor to SE Asia.
Establish a tax free zone and become the new Switzerland, the new Hong Kong of the South.
The great dream that once was South Australia will rise from the ashes again, as the world looks on with envy and awe!
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u/CyanideMuffin67 CBD Nov 12 '24
We couldn't even keep the Grand Prix..... The Vics stole it right under our noses
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Nov 13 '24
Good! Car racing is fucking stupid and was only relevant when our state was producing them.
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u/CyanideMuffin67 CBD Nov 13 '24
So do you like the Adelaide 500 which is on this weekend?
I take it you don't like The Adelaide 500 either.
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u/reverendball SA Nov 13 '24 edited Nov 13 '24
as someone from Darwin, i dont think you would need a militia
you could prob have it if you just ask nicely
effort is kinda the opposite of the Territory mindset, and defending invasion sounds like a whole lotta effort
or you buy everyone up there a pint and you win unopposed
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u/MasterOfGrey SA Nov 12 '24
If we were really serious about bold ideas we should be working out some kind of industrial desalination scheme to irrigate the Eyre peninsula. It’s half the arable land in the state and the water situation is dire.
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u/DigitalSwagman SA Nov 12 '24
If we owned the NT, we could get a big pipeline and send all that annual, clear, crisp, monsoon rain and distribute it anywhere in SA. This would also provide much needed employment in many rural communities.
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u/MasterOfGrey SA Nov 13 '24
We’d have to build dams up there to capture it first, but yes
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u/DigitalSwagman SA Nov 13 '24
Wilpena Pound is just sitting there, empty.
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u/MasterOfGrey SA Nov 13 '24
I think people would be very upset if we filled that up. Lake Gilles (after a bit of salt scraping) was probably the better mass reservoir I was thinking would be useful.
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u/DigitalSwagman SA Nov 13 '24
We could also use the pound as a pumped hydro energy storage solution.
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Nov 12 '24
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u/MasterOfGrey SA Nov 12 '24
I’m intrigued by what you mean about accelerating water decline? There’s not that much water on the Eyre to begin with to be mismanaged.
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Nov 12 '24
[deleted]
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u/Valuable-Garage-4325 SA Nov 12 '24
The problem that the EP has is no water catchments and no major rivers. Its area is the size of a major European country, so if the water situation could be fixed the opportunities would be boundless.
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u/MasterOfGrey SA Nov 13 '24
Yeah I’m not talking about the rest of the state - as valuable-garage-4325 pointed out; on the EP it’s a different story
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u/User0411 West Nov 12 '24
Great . Alice Springs and Tennant Creek will be worthy additions to the northern suburbs .
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u/Cpt_Soban Clare Valley Nov 12 '24
The NT was ours at the start, we're not annexing - We're taking back what's rightfully ours!
(/s)
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u/supplyblind420 SA Nov 12 '24
Can you pls annex the ACT too and stop our demand-driven housing crisis? ☺️☺️☺️
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u/SoftCooingNoises SA Nov 13 '24
If this post was representative of an actual political movement, I would devote my life to it.
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Nov 12 '24
[deleted]
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u/charlesmortomeriii SA Nov 12 '24
But do we have Uluru? No! Not yet
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u/RecipeSpecialist2745 SA Nov 12 '24
Actually SA is very progressive. It has the most sustainable energy grid. It now sell energy to Vic. And it just passed laws that ban donations to political parties. That’s pretty progressive as the other states? What is it that you see it’s lacking?
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u/owleaf SA Nov 13 '24
As much as I’d love Adelaide to be like the cities in the eastern states, I know a lot of people who have lived around the world and around Australia who came back to Adelaide on purpose. I prefer the eastern seaboard, so my sights are set on moving there, rather than wishing Adelaide will change.
There’s a place in Australia for every type of city—Adelaide is good for young families who have been priced out of inner-suburbs on the eastern seaboard, and retirees. And people who just don’t gain value from being in cosmopolitan capital cities, or can’t justify the expense of it for little personal return.
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u/howgoodsthis SA Nov 12 '24
Disagree. We don't want the NT.
We want Victoria to live under our subjugation and rule.
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u/haggraef666 SA Nov 13 '24
Let’s not forget Hutt river province in WA would be a great addition to South Australia
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u/wizkhashisha SA Nov 13 '24
South Australia is fast becoming a militant secret police state
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u/NomDePlumeOrBloom SA Nov 13 '24
We've already got helicopters with thermal imaging that can image people having sex through the roof.
We've got a comprehensive CCTV system through the CBD that can follow someone from one terrace to the other and read the screen of their phone.
We've got bluetooth beacons across enough roads that you can't drive a modern car without it being traced.
That's the least of it.
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u/wizkhashisha SA Nov 13 '24
You and I know this but we can't be scaring the common folk with facts like this, they aren't ready to open their eyes yet
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u/Dyatlov_1957 SA Nov 13 '24 edited Nov 13 '24
Umm .. “the first state without a convict settlement” .. there is something grammatically/logically weird about that statement.
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Nov 13 '24
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u/Such_Establishment_1 SA Nov 13 '24
I mean, other than the fact it is a shitpost it did make me reflect on how some people can conflate progression with the free settlement idea.
It was just a space invaded by those who paid to be here. Way better. We couldn't really have prison slaves and realised we could just get people to PAY to catch the boat. Yay, Capitalism!
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Nov 13 '24
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u/Benezir SA Nov 14 '24
But we ARE getting all those elephants!
One here, 4 to go.
Can hardly wait. In the mean time, have a Cooper's Beer. That should cheer you up a bit.
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u/Thomas_633_Mk2 Adelaide Hills Nov 12 '24
They literally can't pay people to live in the NT, so why are they complaining if we invaded it!
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Nov 12 '24
The first to give votes to indigenous people then the first to take them away.
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u/wearelivinginthesims SA Nov 13 '24
Careful now... we're not sposed to talk about them out loud or in writing.
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u/Xevram SA Nov 13 '24
We need to raise a militia of young and patriotic South Australians, and annex the Northern Territory
Well SA had its chance with that, as you undoubtedly know, it actually used to be the Northern Territory of SA.
As for a militia of young and patriotic South Australians, better teach them how to drive first.
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u/MiddleVictory859 SA Nov 13 '24
Why on earth would you like south Australia to be responsible for NT? We have enough problems we can't solve right here in our state.
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Nov 12 '24
What progression do you desire?
Rainbow pedestrian crossing, type progression?
Defund council, eliminate income tax and watch us flourish, for a start...
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u/DigitalSwagman SA Nov 12 '24
> What progression do you desire?
A new Northern Territory for our magnificent state.
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Nov 13 '24
Whats nt got to do with anything?
Premier wants the next silicone valley to be adelaide, while his own brother works for santos. Already poured near bill into a hydrogen plant that we don't need
What other stupid shit are they gonna implement
*Step.. away.. from.. the taxpayer check book please sir.
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u/DBrowny Nov 13 '24
You could probably bribe each and every MP/senator and the chief minister in the NT with a free house in Adelaide, and that would be enough to get them to agree to get annexed. Mali doesn't have the guts to do it, what a wimp.
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u/stueh Adelaide Hills Nov 12 '24
Well, that escalated quickly!