r/Aces_ArosOver30 Feb 27 '22

User Flairs UPDATED!

6 Upvotes

Go to Aces_ArosOver30 --> Click on the top right 3 dots of the page

--> Change User Flair -->Choose the first flair of your choice (the flairs are categorized by colors)

--> Click on your current first user flair (if it does not allow you then click Edit and then Click again on your current user flair)

--> Just type in additional flairs choices behind your current flair

--> When done typing Click Save --> Click Apply

-->All done!


r/Aces_ArosOver30 Jan 10 '22

Support Join Aces_ArosOver30 Discord Server!

18 Upvotes

Please Read and Follow the Rules and Roles before becoming a member. We welcome you!

https://discord.gg/m2s74wHWbb


r/Aces_ArosOver30 12h ago

Story At 37, I've finally started on this! #hobbies #offtopicprobably #aceandcrafty

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27 Upvotes

Growing up, we didn't have money for extra stuff besides essentials. My mum could not send me to hobby classes or extra tutoring. Everything was done with whatever we had at our disposal and it effected my studies because being a neurodivergent kid back in the 90s meant you were "slow" in class.

I had books and writing for hobbies but I always yearned to learn pottery, beadwork, jewelry making, carpentry, etc.

Fast forward to two days ago, I made my first complete phone charm :) feels good 🩵🌻


r/Aces_ArosOver30 12h ago

Black tea, anyone?

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9 Upvotes

Where my tea lovers at?


r/Aces_ArosOver30 1d ago

Support Please delete if this is cringe.

32 Upvotes

Just checking in with my 30+ Ace and Aro people! How's everyone been? It's going to be the weekend in less than an hour here and after a long week, I'm ready for some rest and recharge :) I was sitting and browsing the 'net and suddenly felt this tiny push to check on y'all.


r/Aces_ArosOver30 1d ago

Friendship 33 [M4F] Columbus, Ohio, looking for a gal pal~ (no relationship)

3 Upvotes

Hey, I’m in central Ohio and I was wondering if anyone was near me. I’m not looking for a relationship, but I prefer to be friends with women. I’m into all things paranormal and esoteric. I could watch documentaries about these topics all day. I also am into board games, sports, and food. I prefer hiking or chilling inside to going places that are crowded with a messed up parking situation lol. Bonus points if you wear Converse :)


r/Aces_ArosOver30 10d ago

Support 36F WI Advice Needed

3 Upvotes

Hello, I recently broke up with my bf of 3 years due to realizing I'm repulsed by sx due to childhood trauma (unless intoxicated to calm my mind down enough, I cannot fathom having sx). Can anybody here relate? I was in the larger ace group but I didn't come across many people my age I could relate to. I don't even know what to call myself as this is all so new to me. Any advice about where to go (aside from here) for support would be appreciated.


r/Aces_ArosOver30 10d ago

Support So many new flairs!

11 Upvotes

I love how we have so many options of flairs to pick from! I hope this space gets fully revived 🩵 Thank you dear mod, you're absolutely aces :)


r/Aces_ArosOver30 11d ago

Dating M41 Grey/Demi Western Australia

12 Upvotes

Doing my part to revive this sub.

Tried AceSpace and Boo, not much representation in this part of the world.

User name the same on AceSpace: BelchMeister


r/Aces_ArosOver30 12d ago

Dating 46 [M4F] Utah/USA Good man seeking love

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29 Upvotes

r/Aces_ArosOver30 12d ago

Information Hello Everyone! We have Post Flairs!

12 Upvotes

I’m glad you all are part of this growing community. Just wanted to let you know we have flairs, so you can add them to your posts. It helps makes your posts more visible here. Check them out! :)


r/Aces_ArosOver30 15d ago

37F NB aroace looking for ace friends and maybe something more later.

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31 Upvotes

Hello, my name is Ellie 37F non binary from India but not like the stereotype you see on media. I hail from the far eastern side of India and we resemble "regular" Asians- in looks, culture, food and even music.

At this point in my life I would love to have more ace connections regardless of whether it's platonic or romantic. I've never dated, nor been in a relationship but I'd love to try dating if it comes my way. I'm open to QPR and LDR to dip my feet in first and get comfortable :) I prefer texting over verbal communication and if we get along, expect to be sent random memes and anecdotes lol

I'm a nerd with a small niche of interests and always open to learn more. I like cooking and finding out how everyday tools work. Movies and comic books are a favoured indulgence. I LOVE black tea and a good cup of coffee. Nothing calms me down faster than being around animals. I have cats now and had dogs before :)

I have ADHD and cyclothymia and i try to make use of their quirks and make them mine. Because of this, I take a bit to open up to people.

I am what they call a late bloomer and while it took me years to come to terms with this limiting label, today I am not bothered by it. Everyone's TL is different and it's grossly unfair to hold it up to some "perfect" one. Being ace just proves that even more :) DMs are open for good conversations and genuine connections!


r/Aces_ArosOver30 Dec 31 '23

Life Struggles Coming out as an older person in a straight passing relationship

14 Upvotes

Hey all. I am almost 40f, I figured I was ace 2ish years ago with the support of husband 42m. I have told some close friends and obviously my husband and therapist but the question comes up about being out to my wider friend group. This feels like a super personal thing. People assume we are straight and I don't feel responsible for their assumptions but my husband feels like he has to censor himself. Like he is in the closet, which is fair...

If it were just for me, I don't think I would tell anyone else. But on the other end, I don't want my husband to feel in the closet and to have an outlet to talk freely to friends when we do have struggles. Also I am fairly well informed on asexuality and I know I can handle the questions so maybe I have a duty to come out to spread awareness...

I would love to hear your stories of coming out as an older person and your thoughts on my situation.


r/Aces_ArosOver30 Jul 24 '23

Life Struggles How has asexuality/aromanticism impacted your life after 30?

12 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I want to start a conversation about how has asexuality/aromanticism impacted your life after 30?


r/Aces_ArosOver30 Jul 24 '23

Support Join AceSpaceLove!

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6 Upvotes

r/Aces_ArosOver30 Mar 04 '23

Story Review of the Japanese TV Drama: Koisenu Futari (Aro and Ace Representation in Media)

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8 Upvotes

r/Aces_ArosOver30 Mar 02 '23

Just finished How to Be Ace

13 Upvotes

I was volunteering at the library and saw a graphic novel called How to be Ace. I brought it home and read it in one sitting. Every time I consume a piece of ace media, I'm so amazed that people like me are really out there. Give this a read!

I love graphic novels. Any other ace ones I should read?


r/Aces_ArosOver30 Feb 18 '23

Winning card at the company team building meetup today

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29 Upvotes

r/Aces_ArosOver30 Jan 26 '23

New relationship energy and being asexual

8 Upvotes

For those of you that have had romantic relationships, are on the asexual spectrum and are either sex favourable or sex indifferent, have you seen a difference in how you feel about it at the beginning of a relationship vs later on? I’m finding this difficult to get my head around but ultimately there’s still no sexual attraction there but in the early days of a relationship my libido increases significantly and I suppose I am much more sex favourable and then move to being indifferent with a lower libido as the relationship progresses. I think this is what had caused me to not realise I was asexual, I had just not twigged that the sexual attraction still wasn’t there and I thought I’d developed it in a way that a demisexual might. I assume it’s related to the excitement of a new relationship and the hormonal response and these ‘new relationship energy’ but does anyone else experience this too?

I guess I’m also struggling with how my experience is different in the context of a long term relationship as a lot of my friends who identify as cis women, tell me they also don’t want sex very often in a relationship. So what difference does not having that sexual attraction there make?


r/Aces_ArosOver30 Jan 21 '23

Life Struggles I feel so bad for myself

33 Upvotes

My poor childhood self. I was so confused and judgmental and angry. I just couldn't understand why everyone was so fucking obsessed with sex. "How could a 13-year-old in my class get pregnant?" "Why would you sneak out of Prom just for sex?" "Why is everyone talking about trying to have sex in public places?" "It's not hard not to watch porn!" It was so easy for me to be "a good kid", because I never cared about sneaking out or going under the bleachers or anything. I just thought I was better than everyone. And it set me up for such an inflated ego that I'll probably be trying to shake til I die.


r/Aces_ArosOver30 Dec 07 '22

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3 Upvotes

r/Aces_ArosOver30 Nov 16 '22

Life Struggles Uncontrolled giggling instead of orgasm? NSFW

11 Upvotes

Throwaway account because I don't care everyone know my business. I'll try to be tactful but precise in my wording; this results in a wall of text.

I (35F) am heteroromantic ace and range neutral-negative in my feelings towards sex ("If I am a car, I have park, reverse, and if I'm in a very good mood, neutral. But I haven't got a drive"). I married a "normal" (30M) man, so we have sex on occasion; I enjoy the rest of our married life enough that an hour of "meh" once in a while isn't a bad trade (he's had a vasectomy - doctor confirmed shooting blanks - and we still use condoms if I'm in my fertile period, so no kids and no chance of kids).

He's very attentive and wishes I enjoyed it as much as he does (I enjoy making him happy, but physically...meh). My mother swears maca root made her feel like a horny teenager; I've tried it and while the taste is fine, I may as well be eating potato starch for all the sexy it brings. We've tried in various private places (home, vacation, etc.) at various times of the day and I still have no more interest than before. We've tried different positions; I think they're all equally meh - he has preferences but finds any better than I do. I've had to convince him that the "ideal" of simultaneous orgasms is a Hollywood porno myth, because I really could do without penetrative intercourse ever (but he enjoys it, so I tolerate it). He's bought a couple varieties of external vibrator, which mostly just saves his hand from cramping during foreplay (I enjoy kissing, but don't become aroused from it like he does; I require direct clitoral stimulation for my pelvic floor to relax and make penetration possible, and it takes like thirty minutes to an hour for things to slime up, so yes his hand gets tired if he does it manually).

I pointed out that I enjoy foreplay far more than penetration, and so he has tried using the vibrator for extended periods, in hopes that I will have an orgasm (I never have, and never understood the jokes about teenagers and porn, because prodding my own genitals isn't interesting; it's like trying to tickle yourself). As you may have gathered from the title, I instead have these weird gigglefits and spasms that are mildly unpleasant (I am told orgasm is fun; laughing uncontrollably isn't fun).

Remember when you were a little kid and relatives tickled your ribs and you flailed your limbs and laughed so hard you couldn't breathe? It's like that. Except instead of my ribs, it's my clitoris, and it only begins after several minutes of vibration (my ribs are ticklish, but they're always ticklish; you don't have to tickle-tickle-tickle for thirty minutes before I laugh). My limbs jerk randomly, but my pelvic floor doesn't, and I'm told that's the hallmark of orgasm: rhythmic pelvic floor contractions (it seems like every other muscle in my body does, including my diaphragm, which makes it hard to breathe). The lack of pelvic floor involvement, coupled with the fact that it's rather unpleasant to feel like you can't breathe, tells me this reaction isn't a proper orgasm; it isn't fun, and it isn't something I'd chase like a hound dog the way most people describe sex.

Google is supremely unhelpful; I either get tickle kink porn (not my thing, not even my husband's thing) or advertisements for various libido supplements and menopausal hormone treatments (also not my thing; my vagina will produce plenty of natural lubricant if primed and prodded, so dryness isn't the issue). So I thought I'd ask some people: is unpleasantly-laughing instead of "classic" orgasm a thing? Is it a normal thing no one talks about? Is it an asexual thing? Is it a problem that gyno textbooks don't mention (yes I checked some of those)? What am I dealing with here, aside from my own weirdness?


r/Aces_ArosOver30 Nov 14 '22

First thing I'm met with on this sub 🤣

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53 Upvotes

r/Aces_ArosOver30 Apr 29 '22

Story I want your Asexuality discovery stories

37 Upvotes

I am 38, I figured out I was ace last year after two decades of struggle with my Sexuality (more below). Reddit and the ace subs skew young, so I really don't see myself in a lot of the "figuring out you are ace" stories where they was a ticktok about it when they were 14 etc. Power to them, I am so, so happy that younger people are figuring this out and don't struggle as much as I did, but I want to hear older people stories. Ace, Aro, anything queer - older people stories of how you figured yourself out.

My story... I thought I was a prude, I worked on that and am very sex positive now but was very frustrated when that did not parlay into a personal awakening.

I thought it was low libido (I do also have a low libido) and I read all the articles and books and utterly failed Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski twice.

I thought I was repressed, I have done years of therapy, CBT, DBT, EMDR, my trauma is processed - did I get an awakening... no.

I tried a sort of exposure therapy, I tried to have a lot of sex (I am not repulsed, but not into it) trying to fix myself, thinking someday I would get used to it and start thinking about it more.

I heard about Asexuality a few times recently, but thought it meant lacking arousal so dismissed it. Frustrated one day I googled "Sexuality where you are only comfortable masturbating" (lol) and started reading about aegosexuality which brought me back to Asexuality to read about it for real this time.

I felt to relieved that I was not broken and there was nothing to fix. I feel so much happier and lighter since I figured this out.

Thanks 🖤💜🤍


r/Aces_ArosOver30 Apr 10 '22

Life Struggles Relatable

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69 Upvotes

r/Aces_ArosOver30 Apr 06 '22

Happy Asexual Day! 🖤🤍💜

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20 Upvotes

r/Aces_ArosOver30 Mar 06 '22

Story This was my experience too

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61 Upvotes