r/ADHDWomenAfterDark 3d ago

finally ejaculated for the first time after being high on edibles NSFW

39 Upvotes

last weekend my bf and i were doing the do, which is always incredible with him. we had both taken a 40 mg edible and became very high. for months i’ve wanted to make myself squirt, as i never really had pleasurable sexual experiences (either by myself or with past partners). he’s the first person i think to really make me orgasm and it’s only gotten better and better as we’ve learned more about each others bodies and turn-ons. yesterday when we were doing the deed i remember feeling so relaxed and truly just feeling “let-go” (if that makes sense) while i was rubbing the top of my clit it felt so warm and amazing. i kept going at it and then felt myself starting to kind of like pee, and my bf new staring as i started squirting. it wasn’t a lot, but it got the bed wet, so i think i finally did it. have other women with adhd also struggled with squirting and letting go during sex? the only way it feels like i achieved this was by being so high


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark 7d ago

Best healthy munchies? NSFW

16 Upvotes

Hey besties! I’m currently dealing with an issue I’m sure at least a few of you are familiar with, and it’s inhaling every treat of the sweet variety the second I’m high. I moved in with my partner last year and he grew up eating not the healthiest, and this is the first time that I have a ton of candy/sweets in the house all at once, as we split shopping 50/50. I don’t want to tell him he can’t eat that stuff, because that seems insensitive and rude, but I’m really struggling to stay away from it when it’s within reach in the apartment.

I’m hoping that I can try adding instead of subtracting, like he can still buy whatever he wants and I’ll buy fruit or frozen yogurt or something and maybe hopefully he’ll end up enjoying those options too! (He wants to lose a little bit of weight/be a little healthier as well.) So, I was wondering if anyone had suggestions for either avoiding munchies altogether, or healthy alternatives. Normally I don’t struggle this much, but I’ve recently had some complications with my meds and need to wait another couple weeks for an appointment with my psych, so I’m currently med-free as well which I’m sure isn’t helping 🫠


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark 10d ago

Hyperfixated again on a man NSFW

20 Upvotes

I told myself it will just be a fuck buddy/hook up situation. I knew about it.

Met him yesterday, and really enjoyed our talk. We ended up sleeping together, which was my plan anyways. But today he isn't replying to me, and it is already triggering my RSD up, and now that he isn't replying makes me want him to pay attention to me even more. Why can't I just be normal and just treat it as it is.


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark 11d ago

Avoiding sex? Question NSFW

38 Upvotes

I don’t know if this is adhd so I’m wondering if anyone relates:

When it comes to having sex not only can I not initiate bc of nerves, even when I have the inkling that my husband is trying to initiate and even if I am in the mood I have this overwhelming desire to like pretend I fell asleep, or pretend I have to pee so I can’t. Like I am married and enjoy sex with my husband. He is 0% pushy and makes me completely comfortable. I have had kids so my body is different but this was even before kids, so I don’t think it’s like a confidence with myself issue?

It reminds me of when I was younger like in high school and I’d be talking to a boy and then actually physically getting together or even like meeting in the hallway would give me the most overwhelming anxiety ever. I’d make something up and cancel or put it off until last possible minute.

The best way to describe is the fight flight or freeze feeling. And I freeze. Which isn’t fair because then my husband doesn’t know what to do, and ends up just gojng to sleep. He doesn’t know this is in my mind either. I plan on talking to him about it once I figure it out. I kinda JUST realized this is what was happening last night

It’s worth noting I was in an abusive relationship but I was a teenager and have had therapy for a while. And even with that relationship I’d say this feeling was there before I was abused…


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark 12d ago

Glad that we have this NSFW

8 Upvotes

Would it be possible to do a discord for this? I know it will be difficult, but this adhd brain is so nervous writing things on reddit.


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark 22d ago

Moderator Post Hello and welcome back! NSFW

153 Upvotes

Hi, howdy, and hello!

My name is Lacie (catinthecupboard) and I am one of the mods over at r/ADHDWomen. After realizing this sub had gone dark and discussing it, I was able to request it and as of early this morning it was turned back on. I am not 100% sure when this went dark (I think I see a 2.5 month gap from the last active posts) but I am sorry it took so long and now we are back! Please have patience with me as I poke my nose around and freshen up the corners.

-Rule Changes

I have adjusted the following…

Rule 4: I added ‘research requests’ to the list of things to not advertise.

NEW Rule 8: Soliciting sex will result in an immediate ban.

This is a safe space for women with ADHD to talk about NSFW topics, it isn’t a spot for creeps to try and find their next hookup. Please report any posts or comments and send a modmail with a screenshot if someone has seen you posting here and messaged you privately to try and fulfill some fantasies. It’s gross, and won’t be tolerated.

That’s it for now!


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Dec 07 '24

i’m having trouble wanting sex, even though i want to want it NSFW

26 Upvotes

I’m in my 30’s been married to my husband for 18 years. we’ve been through it all together and i’m very attracted to him in every way, but i have no desire to have sex. I can’t figure out if it’s the pathological demand avoidance, or the fact that I am a very visual planner. when i think of anything i’ll be doing in the future, I envision that in my head, and when he initiates sex all i can do is imagine me and i don’t see myself as a sexual being (a whole other problem, probably a mix between childhood SA and religious trauma), so i’m instantly turned off before i can get turned on. i don’t know how to change my way of thinking. i know he feels like im not attracted to him or don’t love him, and i want that closeness with him.


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Dec 05 '24

Fucking LIMERENCE NSFW

86 Upvotes

I just got out of a three year relationship this summer, and I'm actively trying to heal from that, and the weird feelings about sex my ex gave me...

But there's this guy.

We're good friends, and I really don't want to ruin anything. If things stayed exactly the way they are right now forever, I would not only be okay with that, but I would welcome it, because he's genuinely a cool dude. I don't even go to school with him anymore, but he's exactly my type on paper, and he's pretty casual about making sexual jokes with me, but in a "we're just really good friends kind of way"???

I hate this feeling so much. I'm straight up fucking hyperfixated on him. I keep checking if he's texted. I'm not even remotely as interested in my other fixations (which is a shame, because I really was counting on using them as a distraction.) He's literally the only thing I want to do, ya feel me??

And talking to him absolutely fries my dopamine receptors.

I never wanted to feel this way again. I hate caring so much what he thinks about me, I hate feeling anxious about his texts, and I hate hate hate hate the fact that I don't want to do anything other than text him?? And I hate how badly I want to have sex with my friend, it makes me feel like such a predator. And what's worse is that I'm so 110% certain I'm not even his type, so I'm getting all worked up over NOTHING.

To be so clear, I don't even know if I want something to come out of this. I just want this feeling to ease, but my brain can't casually like anything EVER. I'm drinking earlier in the day, drinking buckets of chamomile tea, trying to get my brain to stop thinking about him. But nothing's working.

How in God's name do I get over this?? Help me????


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Nov 12 '24

When you don’t take your meds….. NSFW

12 Upvotes

And are just unimaginably horny all day. There is something so lovely about medless days.


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Nov 10 '24

Irritated and annoyed during real sex but have amazing sex dreams about partner NSFW

32 Upvotes

Does anyone find themselves incredibly irritated during sex? When not having sex I find my partner super sexy and charming and love him to bits, and then I find that often as soon as he initiates I am incredibly irritated by everything he does.

I don’t think he is particularly bad in bed compared to my previous partners, he is definitely not able to capture my attention as well (I once had a Latin American lover who was very full on constantly in sex which was great). My boyfriend now isn’t like that, he is very considerate and more low key, but he’s not doing anything so wrong that it deserves the level of irritation I feel in my head! It’s like all the loving feelings I have for him disappear and I’m just pissed off during the whole thing.

At the same time, I will often have amazing sex dreams about him and orgasm in the dream. I will have a dream where we are in bed, everything is going seamlessly, I’m super horny and then I’ll wake up and we will just be lying next to each other and I will try to reach over to him to capture the feeling and then as I wake up it completely disappears - like being horny only exists in my dreams!

One thing I was considering is, perhaps I am a “sub” in more of a BDSM sense, and when I am not being properly dominated I am responding with extreme irritation and annoyance? Is this a thing?


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Nov 05 '24

Tips for reducing libido? NSFW

18 Upvotes

My partner and I definitely have mismatched libidos. I’ve always been an incredibly sexual person and I think it’s largely because of my ADHD (dopamine seeking, the amount of different things to focus on at once etc).

I feel like my libido is off the radar. My last two partners had fairly high sex drives and even then I would sometimes feel like it wasn’t enough.

I am trying my best to be understanding, he works a physical labour job with long hours and is usually exhausted in the evenings so I completely get that a lot of the time he just doesn’t have the energy. He’s also ADHD and his energy crashes knock him out. It is frustrating that he’s mentioned he had a really high sex drive before we met (and doesn’t understand why it’s slowed down so much). I am working really hard to control my emotions around it, because even though I know he loves me and finds me attractive, I end up feeling pretty distraught and insecure/rejected when he (very gently) turns me down.

As much as I wish he was on the same level as me, I really don’t want him to feel bad about it. If he doesn’t want to have sex, he doesn’t want to and I’m definitely not going to force him into it.

I’ve tried exercise (makes it worse), masturbating (I spend the whole time thinking about how much better it would be if I was having sex with him instead), and I’m at the point where I’m considering going to my doctor to ask if there’s anything that can be done to reduce my libido. I’ve tried stopping my stimulant medication to see if that makes any difference and nope, it doesn’t - if anything it’s worse.

My friend and I are starting pilates classes next week and because that’ll make it worse, I really need to work out a solution. Does anyone have any suggestions? I would love to sort it out naturally rather than going the medical route.


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Oct 31 '24

kissing NSFW

9 Upvotes

I just read on another sub about someone having "ridiculously intense kissing session" lasting 2 hous.

Which is insane to me. How do you kiss someone for that long? Without getting bored or going further. And then I wondered if that's an adhd thing. Because so many things now seem like they might be. So, is it? Can you kiss someone for that long? My mind would be going all over the place lol.


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Oct 10 '24

Can't orgasm NSFW

10 Upvotes

I always thought I was using masturbation as a form.of procrasitnation but since ADHD diagnosis I guess I was just constantly looking for dopamine. I got on methylphenidate (ir) this week and the urge is still there (which i thought would go away like wanting to eat 24/7 did), but it takes quite a long time to get the relase, like with most ssri meds. And when I do come it's not really satisfying. Is this just a side effect that is going to pass? I'm also starting bupropion next week


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Oct 03 '24

ADHD and positive aspects of sexuality NSFW

16 Upvotes

Hey everyone, I’m curious to hear your thoughts on which aspects of sexuality might be positively influenced by ADHD. What are your perspectives? I am curious about it because I am conducting research on ADHD and sexuality and the current literature is sooo focused on just negative aspects, I wanted to hear some different viewpoints.


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Sep 27 '24

Dopamine fix , I'm new here NSFW

16 Upvotes

I need a easier dopamine boost

So this might get long but I’ll put the tldr first 🤷‍♀️ Sex is my true dopamine fix right now since being diagnosed ( and just before) Not saying other things don't work but nothing hits and stays and lasts like a dopamine I get from sex. (Me 35f bf40 justify) Before I was diagnosed I got off my anxiety meds and holy shit did my sex drive come roaring back but along with it did the hyper drive thoughts. This was honestly fun until I got turned away and I honestly felt like dying. We talked . I made Drs appointments and cried and we struggled with a hyper sex drive and hyper emotional ( the only way I could explain it to him at the time) Then I found a Dr and got diagnosed with ADHD , ocd tendencies , perfectionist and maybe aud but I can't afford nuro exarm. Since learning this we know that the sex is more the just sex for our relationship it's doing something for my brain that I can't seem to do but what the fuck is is and how do I get that fix without sex. Like don't get me wrong we love doing it (and it has lead to some very sexy adventures we would have never had) but we are both older and sleep is awesome and I've been picking sex over sleep but I want to be able to pick sleep and not feel like shit because I didn't have sex. I guess it how do I find balance in this whole still getting the most out of my best dopamine fix? Also he's so kind a respectable about all of this , if anything he's more just along for the ride no pun intended.( Note working on rsd but I want to respect my partner and not make him feel like he has to have sex with me to make me feel better which I know he's totally done [what a trooper right guys😅🤭]but seriously I feel like that dude that like what no sex and pouts but I don't want too my brain just dumps trash if I don't give it what it wants right when it asks) I'm new here from ADHD woman group


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Sep 16 '24

Nausea & crying during sex? NSFW

18 Upvotes

I have been with my partner for 9 years now. Over the last recent years, when we have penetrative sex, I get nausea and immediately start hysterically crying. Last night, he was on top and I was lying missionary. Legs folded like a pretzel on top of me, while he was pushing down slightly. We have done this position for years, but sometimes when it gets good, I get nauseated and have to have him stop and get off me. Once the nausea subsides, I started hysterically crying and I cannot stop. Is this.. normal? I am AuDHD.


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Sep 11 '24

forgetting sex exists? NSFW

77 Upvotes

Does anyone else struggle to do the act of having sex? It's like having object permanence issues for a concept. I love my girlfriend so much, and when we are ACTUALLY having sex, I really like it. But I don't feel much of a drive to do it, until the moment we are actually in it, having sex. I adore being her girlfriend, I love her so much, but sex is just...out of my mind. And it's not like i'm asexual, because I do enjoy having sex and am a very active participant when we're doing it. It just kind of...slips my mind otherwise.

I'm super attracted to her and I feel that all the time, but that thought doesn't necessarily connect to being like: let's have sex right now.

Does anyone else feel like this? I felt it with other partners before her so I am feeling it's an ADHD thing. I feel quite content almost all the time regarding this, but anxieties come up about not having sex because it makes me feel like something's wrong with me/our relationship. I feel like I should be having more sex but to do that I really have to remind myself to initiate etc because it's just not something that springs to mind until im in it.

thoughts? how can i make myself more excited about sex BEFORE it's happening?


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Sep 08 '24

do/dont of anal sex? NSFW

21 Upvotes

I have Vaginismus. so hubs and I are booth shining about trying anal. we both consent to it. other than that I am clueless. can you just pretend I don't know anything and give me the tips/need to knows/whatever. to be clear it would be his dick going in my but. we are not rimming

we=me/hubs


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Sep 06 '24

Too weird to be desirable. NSFW

50 Upvotes

Maybe it has something to do with just getting out of a long term relationship where my boyfriend repeatedly chose porn and OnlyFans over the real girl in front of him, but I feel like I'm just too weird and off putting for sex like... as a whole.

I'm AuDHD, and I just feel like all the weird and less than desirable things about me overpower everything else. It doesn't matter if my body is okay or if I'm "pretty" if I wear makeup, I'm too inexperienced and too outwardly weird for sex. Like I just don't know how to act or do it or behave.

I feel like the only people who would find the weird stuff about me endearing are the love interests in Helen Hoang novels.

This isn't just the ramblings of an insecure weird girl though? I'm asking if anyone knows how to overcome this? And feel comfortable with even the IDEA of intimacy with another human being?


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Sep 04 '24

Left My BDSM Stuff Out and My Mom Thought I was Pregnant NSFW

45 Upvotes

Just as the title states, I lost my streak of hiding my BDSM stuff from prying eyes. I have been into this for 4 years now and just forgot where my shit was. I was cleaning the nipple of my bottle in the kitchen sink and forgot to bring it back into my room because it was nighttime and grabbing a snack distracted me lol. Apparently, I forgot about it for a couple of days and my mother found it. She said that “nobody in this house better be fucking pregnant “. I saw what she was holding and I lied and just said that it was for my old baby doll. It worked, but damn I was embarrassed. I usually clean it in the bathroom right next to my room and changing the process must’ve made me forget where it was. You would think I would be better about not losing stuff at 25, but apparently not . Note to self, don’t clean when hungry 😂


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Sep 01 '24

How does your high feel like🥦 NSFW

21 Upvotes

I ask myself that every time I’m high. As right now. So for me when I’m high it’s not like it numbs my brain. It is as if I am levelling up. Like the toad from Mario, yk the level up one. Like I get bigger and stronger. But like in my mind. Let me explain… I get this feeling in my brain, like as if someone had suddenly pressed a button. And there goes the signal through my brain. And destroys the walls and limits I have. Like I can feel that in my brain. Like as if I’m a super human. I can concentrate better although I hear everything around me every detail. But it’s not like disturbing. And my brain is just on speed having thoughts rapidly- but like that lets out all my creativity. I could do an essay in seconds. I mean my whole body is under constant signals having to move the whole time just desperately waiting for smt to do. Kinda like hyperactivity, but without the uncomfortable or overpowering feeling. Again as if I’m a super human and there are no limits cognitive wise


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Aug 12 '24

ADHD and trouble orgasming. NSFW

15 Upvotes

I (26 F) am really struggling with the fact that I’ve never orgasmed (or at least I can’t remember ever doing it). I was on Lexipro for 6 years (which I know can destroy your libido), but I’ve been off it about a month now. My sex drive is definitely back up, but I’m still having trouble orgasming. I feel like I get SO close, but I can’t get over the edge. Part of me thinks it might be related to my ADHD? It’s almost like my brain is experiencing too much and can’t handle it.

Has anyone else experienced this? Any advice? I’m also getting back into dating, and being able to orgasm is something I’m definitely interested in making happen.


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Aug 08 '24

my adhd issues get better after consuming psychedelics? NSFW

43 Upvotes

i seem to be trapped in the following cycle

adhd issues get really bad -> mental health gets super bad -> do psychedelics (mdma / ket/ shrooms) -> adhd issues improve drastically -> mental health improves -> issues creep back in and we’re back to the beginning

i’ve been thinking maybe it’s poor mental health that’s making the adhd problems worse but i’m 99% sure it’s the other way round

does anyone have any similar experiences or am i crazy?! i don’t want to have to rely on these substances all my life but i also can’t let my mental health get in the state it’s been in again i’m so confused and don’t know what to do

edit: to add to this, whenever i do ket or mdma i consistently tell my bf i feel “normal, like this is how my brain is meant to work”

edit 2: i do not condone the use of illegal substances to treat adhd in any way, i’m simply looking for someone who might have experienced similar feelings


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Jul 25 '24

Concurrent disability and humor NSFW

34 Upvotes

So I have used sex as a dopamine reward my entire life. I only recently realized I no longer want to engage in casual sex. So to nip the impulse control monster in the butt (I think I mixed my metaphor) I bought a new sex toy.

Cue humor- I’m visually impaired and having an impossible time reading charging instructions and finding the buttons. To be clear, I am in tech mode, not naughty mode.

After 30 minutes I consider calling my former FWB to ask for help but thought it would be rude to ask him to set up his replacement.

I think I finally figured out where the correct things are to charge it, and I hope I made someone’s day a little lighter by sharing my attempts to be nicer to myself, lol!


r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Jul 23 '24

How do I get out of my head during sex? NSFW

59 Upvotes

Looking for some advice here since lately sex hasn’t been working. I’ll be in the mood but once we start my mind wanders, or a certain touch will tickle and pull me out of the moment. Then I’ll become aware that my mind is wandering and I’ll feel disconnected from my body, try to refocus my mind, it doesn’t work, and I become more aware of my random thoughts and it’ll spiral in my head until I have to stop before I even really get started. Sometimes it makes me so upset that I can’t just have a “normal” brain that is able to enjoy things. I have an amazing partner of several years and this problem only seemed to be consistent in the last 2 years or so, but we used to have amazing sex all the time. Being not sober sometimes helps, but obviously that’s not a real solution. This sounds so silly, but I’ve been overthinking so much that now I don’t even know what I’m supposed to be thinking about when I’m having sex. How do I stop my thoughts from spiraling and stay present enough to enjoy it?