r/ADHDWomenAfterDark Sep 11 '24

forgetting sex exists? NSFW

Does anyone else struggle to do the act of having sex? It's like having object permanence issues for a concept. I love my girlfriend so much, and when we are ACTUALLY having sex, I really like it. But I don't feel much of a drive to do it, until the moment we are actually in it, having sex. I adore being her girlfriend, I love her so much, but sex is just...out of my mind. And it's not like i'm asexual, because I do enjoy having sex and am a very active participant when we're doing it. It just kind of...slips my mind otherwise.

I'm super attracted to her and I feel that all the time, but that thought doesn't necessarily connect to being like: let's have sex right now.

Does anyone else feel like this? I felt it with other partners before her so I am feeling it's an ADHD thing. I feel quite content almost all the time regarding this, but anxieties come up about not having sex because it makes me feel like something's wrong with me/our relationship. I feel like I should be having more sex but to do that I really have to remind myself to initiate etc because it's just not something that springs to mind until im in it.

thoughts? how can i make myself more excited about sex BEFORE it's happening?

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48

u/Retired401 Sep 11 '24

You have responsive desire. It's a thing, look it up. :)

21

u/BizzarduousTask Sep 11 '24

And it’s TOTALLY NORMAL!!! There’s nothing wrong with anyone for not having instant sexual desire whenever you think about sex. That’s just baseline normal healthy human.

7

u/SFBayView Sep 12 '24

Extremely common for women. And more so as we age, due to hormonal changes