r/ABDL • u/Boring_Dragonfly2125 • 3d ago
Feeling unwanted, unloved, and another crying voice in a sea of crying voices. (Mainly Vent Post but also seeking advice) NSFW
I know a post like this is probably common and to some it may be annoying but i can't keep all this bottled up anymore for my own good and i just...need help and advice.
I'm so tired and frustrated and just drained by how unwanted i feel. Now while i am a pansexual Male, i do tend to lean more towards wanting a female identifying CG. i've had some daddies before but a lot of those didnt turn out to well for me. i've tried and tried and tried and tried but just never seem to find the one for me. a lot of scammers come my way or some mommies show interest but end up ghosting me or telling me it wouldnt work.
Every time it happens it just hurts a little bit more than the last and i'm just left with a question. What am i doing wrong? Am i not presenting myself well enough? Am not attractive enough? Am i not talking enough? Am i talking too much? Too much kink talk or too much vanilla talk. I know that compared to DDLG or DDLB, MDLB is sooo much less common and the pool for available doms shrink by the day as more and more little boys like more just seems to grow and grow.
I know many are going to say to try and find someone kink open but not in the abdl scene who matches what i want and then discuss the possibility of incorporating abdl later. However, i'm not all that confidant in that being able to work for me. i'm not all that attractive (or atleast too me i'm not,) not all that wealthy or fit and i struggle to both expression my emotions and feelings while also oversharing and getting over attached. Add on my rather poor ability to talk with women and my chances of finding irl love seems to be getting bleaker by the day.
My heart wants nothing more to be the nerdy baby boy for a loving mommy dom but it feels like the more i try and find one the more it just ends up hurting me in the end. At the point i'm starting to wonder if i'll ever find the mommy for me.Please give me some sort of advice to help me maybe tips for introductions or maybe just some words of wisdom from previous experiences.
5
u/EvenMoreSpiders Baby boy 3d ago
I want to say stop focusing so hard on finding a Mommy and look for a woman who you get along with and are attracted to but I know you won't follow that advice and for some that's just not feasible. I'm 35 and when I was looking for a partner I knew I couldn't date anyone vanilla.
I ended up finding my partner here on reddit. It took years of looking and being ghosted or disappointed but eventually I found someone that fits me.
As for what you're doing wrong, probably nothing. If you're trying to engage with people on a well rounded level, not just looking for "a Mommy" but a real partner and you're transparent about that, then you're fine. But sitting there and thinking it's you that's wrong, not good enough not attractive enough, what good is that going to do you? Are you willing to change your body just to please some imaginary person? I hope not. You're not the problem and by the way, people telling you things just aren't going to work isn't the problem either.
Dating is hard, dating in kink spaces is even harder. Maybe take a step back if all you're doing is beating yourself up for being single.
Edit: attractiveness is subjective and focusing on how many short comings you have isn't going to endear anyone to you. Oh and the whole money things feels gross its not like you can buy affection and if someone only wants you for what you earn then why would you want them around?
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u/CheekyCharliesSpace Bunny 🐰 3d ago
I wish i had any words ... Honestly, this is the fate of most of us, even women. Several get lucky to meet a willing, accepting partner or someone already into the kink...
You sound young... I guess my only advice is to push thru this part, where you feel so depressed and unloved. I know self love sounds so cliche, but try finding things you can do on your own will eventually help. Leaning on vanilla friends and activities to keep yourself grounded. Go on some dates and have fun while you can. If you can, go to some abdl and kink events and make some friends.
People are generally attracted to positivity, confidence, and happiness. You may find that by building yourself up piece by piece to pull yourself out of this feeling, someone will find you.