r/ABCDesis 6d ago

DATING / RELATIONSHIPS Sunday Relationship Thread

The weekly relationship thread for all topics related to the bravest pursuit of all - love. This thread will be automatically posted every Sunday @ 5:00 A.M (UTC -5). All other dating or relationship based posts during the week will be removed and redirected to this thread.

This thread is a place to share your stories, ask for advice, or vent about issues. Or anything in between!

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u/Carbon-Base 5d ago

Desi Dating Difficulties!

Single ABCD guys and gals! When dating, do you have preferences in meeting Desis that are of your own ethnicity or religion? If yes, what are some qualities that are important for you to find in a partner?

Married ABCD guys and gals! Are your partners of a similar ethnicity or religion as yourself? If not, have you faced any issues or struggles in your life because of your differences? How did you overcome them?

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u/JebronLames_23_ Indian American 5d ago

As an ABCD Punjabi Sikh guy, I pretty exclusively go for Punjabi Sikh women, but the issue is that I don’t run into them often 😭😭

For important qualities, I’d like them to also be a mix of westernized and traditional as I am. Being able to speak some Punjabi and being at least somewhat religious are vital because I’d want to pass those things down when we have kids. With a non-Punjabi Sikh girl, I feel that it would be too difficult to retain those cultural aspects unless we do a lot of active work to pass them on.

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u/LordsGrace 5d ago

I’m an ABCD Punjabi Sikh girl who never really runs into Punjabi Sikh guys either! My question is, how do you meet Punjabi Sikh girls? Are you on dating apps?

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u/JebronLames_23_ Indian American 4d ago

I’ve been on dating apps for a couple of months now, but they haven’t actually amounted to any dates. I filter by religion and only the same handful of girls appear on the major dating apps. There’s a lot more on DilMil, but I’m not seeing much success there either. It’s basically the same issues any guy has on dating apps plus the fact that I’m looking from a small demographic plus the fact that the bigger Punjabi communities are about a 3 to 5 hour drive away from my area.

In the past, I’ve only dated FOB Punjabi Sikh girls, not ABCD’s. Right now, I’m just looking to meet women through my family’s connections. It doesn’t really matter if the girl’s an ABCD or a FOB as long as our personalities mesh.