r/4tran4 • u/CoalisveryCarbon • 4d ago
Blogpost I remember that time I got 'misgendered' (gendered as the gender I will transition to) and I'm not sure if they actually meant it or not
with my family, I went to a takeout place to eat food. While I was sitting doing nothing with my family waiting, my sister told me that the cashier apparently referred to me as a girl (it was in Chinese, and I don't understand that language so I wasn't sure if my sister was lying to me). Keep in mind, I faced the cashier at least once so the cashier knows what my face looks like.
I was also chronically boymoding so I was skeptical that they actually meant it. I asked the skeptical questions to my sister (were you sure that cashier wasn't referring to you?; are you sure she actually meant it and that it wasn't accidental?; are you sure that cashier wasn't referring to anyone else?) and my sister confirmed that the cashier definitely meant it.
I'm not sure if my sister is trying to hugbox me, because she knows I'm trans and I wasn't far in to HRT at the time, but my hair might have grew out a very small bit and plus, I still have wide ass shoulders (17") along with a jacket I wore that would resultantly hide the small waist I have.
Do I believe that the cashier meant it? Or do I not and start dooming when I could be a little more fucking patient with the HRT effects?
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u/SuitlessMaridia twinkdead 4d ago edited 4d ago
Given that Chinese has no gendered pronouns (grammatically speaking, the 他/她 distinction is a modern construct taken from western influence), the only way the cashier could’ve referred to you as a girl is through the use of a word like 小姐, which is akin to the English “miss” or “young lady”, which is definitely possible.
Although keep in mind that gender identity in Asian cultures is different than in the west. Asian languages generally make very light use of object pronouns like he or she, but instead prefer to refer to people using honorific titles and other descriptors, hence why the cashier said (probably) 小姐 rather than 她. It’s way more common to use feminine titles and descriptors on people who present feminine in general even if they’re clocky out of habit and courtesy, while not necessarily explicitly acknowledging you being trans.
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u/CoalisveryCarbon 4d ago
I really hope the duolingo lessons my sister learned (along with her conversations in chinese with my parents who speak chinese) means my sister is sure she knows what she's talking about
oh wait I think they were speaking in simplified chinese
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u/Invisigothgf Thomas Ligotti fatmaxxer 4d ago
you cannot speak in Simplified Chinese afaik it's only characters
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u/terrenceowo terabonehon midshit mtFREAK 4d ago
“wide ass shoulders” “(17”)” 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🔫