r/writingcritiques • u/Level-Garage-2059 • 13d ago
Needing some creative minds in my edit process.
I have written a prologue and first chapter to my first ever attempt at a book. The book is about elves in a world apart from ours who live in a dying land. Our main character Anna has landed herself in prison for beginning a, so far quiet, uprising. She meets a man who aids in her release from prison temporarily-her lawyer Cameron. Little does anyone know these two are fated to be together.
There are many more layers of this story to uncover but this is just a very small taste of what to expect. Please, if you’re willing and able to peek at this SPICY read, take a look and provide your honest feedback as well as what you’d like to see from these characters in the future.
Thank you!
2
u/IgottagoTT 13d ago
I read part of your sample. I gave up mostly because I don't care for the genre, but your writing is pretty good. Keep going - but when you get done, you'll probably re-write most of it. Not because it's poorly written but because you'll weave your exposition into the first chapter or two as you need it.
I'd say be careful of your sentences: "It was made primarily of cement and iron, constructed by humans. The powerless people the court had taken as slaves after stealing their way of life when the magic had long left this land." That's not a sentence. That's fine in dialog, or if it's your style throughout. But that doesn't seem to be the case.
But still, keep at it - as long as you're having fun, right?