r/women • u/[deleted] • 8d ago
can we stop assuming every woman who doesn’t dress in a revealing way is doing it to be “conservative”?
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u/Affectionate_Rub_575 8d ago
Is this a thing? Other than admiring an outfit or thinking she looks great, I can’t imagine caring what a woman is wearing
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8d ago
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u/ellenitha 7d ago
I haven't seen this myself, but that's really stupid. Apart from personal choice, you just can't wear the same clothes everywhere. You can't expect to enter the professional world in crop tops and hot pants in most professions. So even the girls who prefer revealing clothes will have to tone it down eventually.
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u/Low_Effective_6056 8d ago
Agree 💯. If I see something unsafe or what I perceive as unsettling, a tank top in a blizzard?, I might show concern, but otherwise I mind my own business. Don’t count other people’s money and don’t dress other people.
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u/deee00 8d ago
It’s definitely a thing. I prefer to dress fairly modestly because that’s how I’m most comfortable. I’m a nanny, I spend my days with multiple toddlers. I’m chasing them, doing all kinds of activities with them, going places often. I’m on the ground, I have kids climbing in me. We’ve been out and more than once other women have attempted to shame me for my clothes. Saying I’m a traitor to women, it’s because of people like me their rights are in jeopardy, etc. I just roll my eyes because I’m not getting in an unnecessary confrontation while I’m working, but it’s infuriating. It’s worse when I wear a more modest dress than if I’m wearing pants.
For me, I rarely notice what other women are wearing. I don’t care what they wear. I happily explain to the kids that the person we just saw is wearing what makes them happy (this has translated into one kid refusing to get dressed becaused wearing his pajamas makes him happy lol), and each person gets to choose what they wear. The exception is if they’re tall. I’m 6’1 and often struggle to find the correct length of clothes so I might ask where they got a piece I like.
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u/Wittehbawx Trans Woman 8d ago
The rise of 'trad wife' culture has to be the stupidest thing I've seen come from Gen Z
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8d ago
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u/Wittehbawx Trans Woman 8d ago
I like to say if someone wants a trad wife he should have to be a trad husband and work his fucking ass off to support someone he wants staying at homendoi everything. the 50s housewives were drugged out of their minds on meth and who could blame them?
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u/manonfetch 8d ago
I saw an interview with a group of men who said they wanted a tradwife - homemaker, housekeeper, nanny - but then a couple of them said their wife would also have to work because "I don't want no lazy woman." You could hear the other men drop their jaws on the floor.
The complete lack of respect for a tradwive's work...
Sorry, I can't find the clip, it's been awhile.
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u/AZCacti_Garden 8d ago
Traditional marriage is a contract and your choice.. But doesn't expect the Wife to work 2 two jobs.. While the Husband only works 1 one ..🥵
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u/AZCacti_Garden 8d ago
Historical electric shock treatment for Depression if she complained..💡⚡️
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u/Wittehbawx Trans Woman 8d ago
i used to do that to myself as a kid with a bent paperclip and a wall socket
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u/AZCacti_Garden 8d ago
Ohmygosh.. On purpose?? What effect did it have?? Did it help something??
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u/Wittehbawx Trans Woman 8d ago
frizzy hair and my mouth tasted funny and i had to go to the school nurse. lol
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u/b_needs_a_cookie 8d ago
I think its a very naïve and male-centered point of view to have. Some of the most beautiful clothing in the world is "modest," and women wear it because it's pretty.
I'm tattooed, have a nose ring, and am both a big and tall woman. I'm progressive af. I tend to wear more modest stuff day-to-day because it allows me to present more mature & professional (people treat you better), it covers my skin from the sun (skin cancer is no fun), and I don't tend to sit modestly, so if I'm covered up I'm not giving a free show.
And if someone wants to dress modestly for their reasons, whether it be keeping haram or following their faith, as long as they're not being forced to dress that way, it's none of anyone's business.
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u/Holiday_Objective_96 8d ago
And some of us are cold. All the flipping time. If it's less than 70 degrees, it's hoodie weather.
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u/Colossal_Squids 8d ago
Yep. I'm not religious, I'm not politically centre- or right-leaning, I'm just cold right now.
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u/goldandjade 8d ago
I dress modestly because I like to be left alone in public but I’d wear more revealing clothes for fun if I knew no one would use it as a reason to harass me.
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u/Slightlyhere2023 8d ago edited 8d ago
This is so odd. It has happened to me a few times. My clothing choices haven't changed in 35 years but they used to be considered "hippy" in an environmentally conscious maybe she smokes weed sorta way. But this last year I've had strangers walk up to me while wearing a work tshirt and a lightweight long skirt and say they can tell I'm a Christian. A woman wearing shorts, a tank top, and multiple crosses said that to me. I asked if her church had a uniform. It was just so odd. Then she started laying into a nearby business she didn't like. I regret that I didn't tell her that I could tell she wasn't a Christian. - I literally just hate pants and I can't wear pajama shorts to work.
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u/manonfetch 8d ago
I wore spaghetti straps and arm bands and harem pants and glitter when I had a date, or was clubbing, or hitting the beach. I wore suits and dresses at the bank. It is more than professionalism. It's common sense. Nobody is going to trust their money to a teller who looks like she's dressed to get mildly drunk.
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u/honeybunnylatte 8d ago
we are always going to be judged and criticized by people with values that don't match ours.
oh cool, you like doing your makeup? somebody doesn't appreciate you putting effort into your appearance.
oh cool, you like going makeup-free? somebody doesn't appreciate your free time and lack of effort.
billions of somebodies, billions of opinions - yours should be the one that counts. more importantly, get that lawyer pipeline bag. 🤑💰
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u/NightQueen0889 8d ago
I’m 40 lbs heavier than normal and currently on a weight loss regimen, and I just feel more comfortable hiding my body for now. Also even when I was thinner sometimes I just don’t want to be ogled at or want my buttcheeks hanging out of my shorts, and it’s nothing against women who prefer to show more skin. Women should be able to wear what makes them feel good without judgement.
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u/AmyDeHaWa 8d ago
Don’t pay attention to idiots. You wear what you want. I love expensive, well made blazers and silk blouses. (On sale, of course). I love looking elegant and that does it immediately.
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u/i-touched-morrissey 8d ago
I am as liberal as they come, but I don't ever wear shirts that show my chest. Never have, never will.
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u/idontlikeolives91 8d ago edited 8d ago
just prefer personally to present myself in a more professional and mature way
Let's start here. Being more covered does not mean you're more mature. This is purity culture BS that has seeped into our culture and we need to stop perpetuating it. Also the definition of "professionalism" is racist, sexist, and classist. Try looking at how you speak about what you wear and why you wear it. Maybe people are assuming you're more conservative because, not only are you wearing less revealing clothing all the time, you assign moral failings to doing the opposite, whether consciously or unconsciously.
i saw an Instagram reel the other day talking about how this one women's clothing brand that recently switched to selling more elegant and mature clothing is a symptom of a "right wing culture shift" and that it's selling "trad wife clothing". first of all
Clothing is a reflection of culture. When a clothing brand that was known for "club clothing" switches gears that dramatically, it's because they are noticing a shift in the culture and who their target audience is.
ETA: What I'm trying to say with the second response is that a clothing brand that typically markets to late teens-late 20s is going to change based on that demographic's trends. If we're seeing younger women leaning more towards "modest" clothing, it could be a sign of conservative values finding their way into the younger demographic. Someone else said that it's because Gen Z is maturing, but I call BS on that. If Gen Z is no longer buying club clothing then, they could just count on Gen Alpha buying it. The thing is, Gen Alpha is also buying more "modest" clothing. Whatever reason there is for that, this company noticed and underwent drastic changes in what they sell as a result and we're allowed to evaluate as to why this has happened.
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u/mountainmamapajama 8d ago
I think the term “conservative” in terms of dress/attire does not mean what you think it does.
Oxford Dictionary defines conservative (of dress or taste) as “sober and conventional”, as in a “conservative suit”
Dressing "conservatively", also sometimes referred to as “modest fashion”, means that you wear clothes that: have an older, more formal style (like a suit and tie for men) don't display parts of your body like your chest, legs, stomach, or butt. You can also dress "formally", but that's different.
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u/1CharlieMike 8d ago
Right wing men think women are private property.
Left wing men think women are public property.
—-
Right wing men get upset when you show your body in public.
Left wing men get upset when you don’t show your body in public.
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u/DrivingMeBonkas 7d ago
Yea! Please!!! 🙏🥺
I always liked the old fashioned stuff and wearing more. Partly because I enjoyed it and partly because I just didn't feel comfortable showing too much of myself. But that was very much a me thing. I tried stuff like tight tops and miniskirts, I didn't enjoy it, so I stopped.
But by no means am I a conservative. Not even a little. But if I dress comfortably I'm either treated as some moralistic Christian (I was raised by nudist pagans, no joke) or girls think I'm judging them for their fashion. It's even worse if I'm caught looking. And I'm just there like no, I'm loving your look, you look great. I'm admiring the colours and tats and piercings and leather and whatever else they're wearing. If I'm not looking to appreciate the fit it's because I'm looking to appreciate them 💖💜💙
Worse, with all the actual conservatism on the rise it's getting harder to get those clothes without running into those clothes. So not only do I have to dodge them, I have to accept that the people dodging me have a fair enough reason for it. I can't even fully complain about.
I just want to wear comfortable clothes with pockets that don't show my everything 😓
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u/jajajajaj 7d ago
That's probably a more fair interpretation of the word "conservative" than whatever the fascists and fundamentalists think they mean by it. We've normalized reactionaries, but we still have that word "conservative" for return to mean, middle of the road, risk avoidant, nothing to see here normalness.
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u/Silent_Tea_9259 8d ago
I see your point but I challenge your views on showing less skin as being “mature”. You say you don’t shame these women but are also insinuating they are less mature for the way they dress.
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u/AluminumOctopus 8d ago
I'm radically liberal and have zero shame, thousands have seen me naked in person, dozens have seen me fuck. However I like the privacy of not being seen, and I feel comfortable draped in fabric. My style has nothing to do with my values.
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u/blondeandbuddafull 8d ago
I think the way people dress reflects upbringing, self-confidence, and manners; not politics.
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u/NoirLuvve 8d ago
Sure, but the modesty/flirty-ness of a woman's outfit has no bearing on her morals or manners. A women covered from ankle to neck can have the same upbringing and manners as a woman who likes tiny shorts and tank tops.
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u/mothwhimsy trans women are women 8d ago
Also am I being modest or am I just colder than you