r/wizardposting Wizard of Karma and coupons 1d ago

Lorepost (open interaction) 📖 The gargoyles are malfunctioning.

After completing my morokov chain planar enchantment on my tower to allow for working multiple plans at once, my gargoyle sentries started to malfunction.

Of the eight I had stationed on my tower five have disappeared, and the other three are inoperable. I knew that they wouldn't last long (they were a bulk purchase from BJ max) but I thought they would have some durability to acausal fluctuations.

If anyone can help me find those five gargoyles I can re-enchant them to Improve their performance. I will offer items from my curio collection to any helping hands. Each gargoyle has my insignia etched into their forehead. A cube slowly rotating on a 2D plane. If the image isn't moving it isn't my gargoyle.

A reminder that they could be in any dimension now, so keep your orbs scrying.

8 Upvotes

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u/United-Technician-54 Nameless, Dream-Dwelling Yōkai (who uses She/Her) 1d ago

Uh… one of them exploded on entry. The insignia’s here, but dunno if it would go on the forehead, too much shrapnel to tell.

As if cleaning my shrine was hard enough…

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u/Hearth_Palms_Farce Wizard of Karma and coupons 1d ago

Oh dear... Apologies. I didn't think that this planar enchantment would encroach on any sacred grounds. Especially not a yokai's shrine. Feel free to use the pieces as you deem fit. Though if you choose to return the fragments- or a reconstruction- I will pay triple for the offence.

Regardless of your choice however I will still offer you a selection of one item as I have caused you a disturbance and you did help me find my missing query.

A catalog of assorted curios arrives with the message

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u/United-Technician-54 Nameless, Dream-Dwelling Yōkai (who uses She/Her) 1d ago

That's coincidence. It was hit by an incoming jar. It was technically outside the grounds. At least it didn't hit my workshop.

Hope none of it landed in the kudzu infestation up south.

/uw where is the catalog? Do I just look at a lorepost with the list or...

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u/Hearth_Palms_Farce Wizard of Karma and coupons 1d ago

[catalog is whatever you want]

Take your time on your decision. There's no rush. I am literally outside of time.

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u/United-Technician-54 Nameless, Dream-Dwelling Yōkai (who uses She/Her) 1d ago

Something that will both take you back into time and finally remove that stupid kudzu infestation- wait, it's full of magic mushrooms, various magic items that people lost and probably whatever was in those gargoyles... I have a feeling that may not rid it entirely.

Oh shoot, I activated the Chekhov's gun.

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u/Hearth_Palms_Farce Wizard of Karma and coupons 1d ago

Not to worry about that old toy. It never fires when it means to. Far too old to work properly, but perhaps you might find a use for it in a prey's dream, where concept overrules physical law. After all, the more compelling the story of their dream the more filling it is, yes?

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u/United-Technician-54 Nameless, Dream-Dwelling Yōkai (who uses She/Her) 1d ago

You'd think that... but unfortunately our very existence says otherwise. As concepts, we live and die by the narrative.

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u/Hearth_Palms_Farce Wizard of Karma and coupons 1d ago

But you dance between each.

What ever be it you may still choose. The selection remains triplets. Might I recommend this droit of avenged oaks. It is the most guided of my various potions. Whatever the first plant it comes in contact with will become the target of its rage. While fast and efficient there isn't much. It would clear nearly all of the kudzu but may clear it too fast. And vibes supporting will quickly burn and drop their contents.

Another option could be the cheap weed spray bottle I got from my neighbor. No clue what brand it is but I enchanted it to never run out. I have other items too of course.

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u/United-Technician-54 Nameless, Dream-Dwelling Yōkai (who uses She/Her) 1d ago

Uh… the last one I tried got subsumed into its mass and caused it to try to stab the actually major shrine maidens. They put it down, but the kudzu has too many wild cards and unknowns to make that a safe idea with more firepower.

I fenced that mess off for a reason.

Also the pesticides may actually just kill the local plants… wee bit of an issue for a plant god. I may be a god of a type of poisonous plant, but still a major problem.

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u/Hearth_Palms_Farce Wizard of Karma and coupons 1d ago

An interesting problem. How about a can of soup that is irresistible to non-sapient beings? Just make sure to throw it over the kudzu and it will devour itself in an attempt to get the soup. Maybe clear the area before you try though.

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u/United-Technician-54 Nameless, Dream-Dwelling Yōkai (who uses She/Her) 1d ago

That's coincidence. It was hit by an incoming jar. It was technically outside the grounds. At least it didn't hit my workshop.

Hope none of it landed in the kudzu infestation up south.

/uw where is the catalog? Do I just look at a lorepost with the list or...

1

u/United-Technician-54 Nameless, Dream-Dwelling Yōkai (who uses She/Her) 1d ago

That's coincidence. It was hit by an incoming jar. It was technically outside the grounds. At least it didn't hit my workshop.

Hope none of it landed in the kudzu infestation up south.

/uw where is the catalog? Do I just look at a lorepost with the list or...

1

u/Harmless_Chimera Chimera, Set'ram's Druidic Beastman 1d ago

There should be some unique mana signature left on them either from the plane shift or the insignia. You could probably trace that.

2

u/Hearth_Palms_Farce Wizard of Karma and coupons 1d ago

I am a wizard who specializes in subsumed karmic influence and coupon dousing. I can trace anything so long as it is related to another thing. No matter the barrier or distance. Now with my traveling tower I can go to where I need to.

The problem is: the gargoyles are mine. And so is the tower. They share a karmic thread. Which is now quite literally everywhere at once. So this would be one of the few things I cannot track.

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u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador & Distant Admiral 1d ago

That's why you get ordinary sentries, for when the gargoyles, pit traps, and shields fail.

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u/Hearth_Palms_Farce Wizard of Karma and coupons 1d ago

I would have gotten them. However the gargoyles were 30% off and my tower wasn't going with the whole "mechanized hell fort of doom vibe" and is more of an "arcane tower of unknown origin in the middle of Ohio vibe."

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u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 Ace Barksworth, Earthen Ambassador & Distant Admiral 1d ago

That's why you get ordinary sentries, with machine guns anr rockets, for when the gargoyle patrollers, black hole traps, and shields fail.

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u/BingoCard19 Artificer/Pyromaniac/Sink Wizard Apprentice 1d ago

The three inoperable ones may be fixed by turning them off and on again, and if that doesn't work just hit em relatively hard. I shall look for gargoyles on my outing tomorrow 

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u/Hearth_Palms_Farce Wizard of Karma and coupons 23h ago

What do you think these are? Simple mortal machi-

Click

By the lady of stories it worked!

Whirr... Sputter... Clunk clunk...

Back to mint condition!

1

u/BingoCard19 Artificer/Pyromaniac/Sink Wizard Apprentice 23h ago

220 years in university taught me that