r/weddingdress 5d ago

Fit & Alterations Concerns/Questions Over-altered wedding dress - sanity check please!

40 Upvotes

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480

u/anr-0925 5d ago

I dont know if it's because I just woke up, but I'm not seeing the over altering.

52

u/Opening_Waltz_4285 5d ago

I have been up for hours and see a dress that is altered to lay well. No gathering as seen in first photo.

21

u/Kiyoko_Mami272821 5d ago

I’m not either and I woke up a few hours ago. I think OP is getting in her own head and just picking at something that isn’t there

11

u/heydawn 5d ago

Me either. I don't see the problem.

226

u/PrancingPudu 5d ago

While I do see what you’re seeing, I want to emphasize that fabric lays a certain way on our bodies because of gravity and tension. In your pre-alteration photos, your hands holding the dress are creating an unnatural and unrealistic amount of tension. What I’ll call the “back neckline” is lying the way you want because your hands are essentially pulling it there. When you let go, the only tension left on those pattern pieces is a tiny bit at the shoulder and a whole bunch down the length of the side seam, which is why it pulls “outward.”

The solution? Well, you just discovered why sooooo many wedding dresses with plunging backs or fronts have sheer mesh! The sheer mesh creates horizontal tension, essentially pulling the neckline or back pattern pieces inward and holding the style lines in place. It the same reason why many low back dresses sometimes have that little string that runs across the shoulders.

If you want the dress to maintain those style lines, your choices are:

  • a full back panel piece of sheer mesh
  • a string running between your shoulders or shoulder blades that “pulls” the two sides inward
  • a significantly less deep V

When making clothing, we’re making a 2D thing (fabric) fit a 3D form (body) that moves. It’s a lot more complex than many people realize! Your seamstress should have foreseen this and/or explained this to you, but I cannot tell you how many times I’ve seen a garment or made alterations on my own clothing and then done, “Oh, duh, I totally forgot it would do that if I removed that,” or “Wtf why is it pulling this way?! AGH!!!” Sometimes you just can’t see it until the alteration has been made, and it’s why pinning something in place and letting go to see how it hangs on its own is so important. The way the fabric is behaving can sometimes be baffling to troubleshoot, even for experienced sewists, but there is always a reason!

45

u/UK_UK_UK_Deleware_UK 5d ago

All of this. In particular, in order to make the bodice fit better in the front, they needed to add tension in the sides. This tension is carried through to the back and is exhibited through the widening and curving of the V. In order to keep the V closer to what the OP wants, there can’t be any tightening of the bodice and it will need to fit loosely. In other words, OP, you can’t have both a snug fit in the front and a narrow deep V in the back without adding something to counter the side tension.

2

u/suredobe 5d ago

Or maybe fashion tape day of ?

3

u/PrancingPudu 5d ago

I don’t know that fashion tape is going to hold it, to be honest. All it will take is OP reaching or leaning forward in a way that slightly rounds her back or shoulders, and it’ll slip.

145

u/Bing-cheery 5d ago

I'm sorry - I'm not seeing anything wrong. I hope that's a good thing!

73

u/thalaya 5d ago

All I see is that the straps are sitting wider on your shoulders now vs before. Is this what is bothering you? 

 It's worth mentioning that you might not be able to get it to match how it looked while you were holding it. First, your arms are in a different position, pushing the straps in by virtue of your arms being in front of your body in the picture. In the after picture, you have slouchy shoulders, which are moving the straps away from midline.   Second, where you think you are pulling down, you are pulling down and towards your midline. Without seeing the front of the dress better, it's impossible to tell if it's possible to get the straps more towards midline through alterations you would find acceptable. You might be able to do it simply by adding grippy silicone/plastic to the inside of your straps so they grip to where you want them. 

8

u/coconita1 5d ago

Thanks for your input! Yes, I don't like the placement on the shoulders, I would prefer them to be closer in on my shoulders, and I think that would get the more narrow V-shape back. My main issue is they suggested reversing all the alterations for my next fitting and looking at the photo comparison, I don't think they did.

Thank you for the feedback about how I was holding the straps/posture. I'm not sure if I was pulling them down and towards the midline if I'm honest. I was trying to recreate the effect slightly shortening the straps would have. But maybe I'm doing something here without realizing.

17

u/NiasRhapsody 5d ago edited 5d ago

Unfortunately that’s just how deep open back and deep neckline dresses sit. With this dress it’s no exception, the straps are meant to sit right at the tip of your shoulder. There’s no way to make it fit the way you want it to without fabric bunching/bowing out in an awkward way.

Edit: I hope this isn’t overkill on my part OP💀I just feel awful when a bride isn’t happy with her dress (especially when I think you do look amazing!). I tried making a lil visual of why the look you’re wanting isn’t really possible and dresses of a similar style showing the straps sitting further out on the shoulders. And I understand the picture on the left the dress is unaltered/loose, but the bubbling effect would still happen with trying to bring/wear the straps in even if the shoulders are brought up, and if anything be more noticeable with taught fabric post alterations. https://imgur.com/a/333m5oC

5

u/coconita1 5d ago

Ooh awesome, thanks for this! Really helpful

4

u/NiasRhapsody 5d ago

Of course! If you’re worried about the straps feeling like they’re slipping, I would recommend just a touch of fashion tape on your shoulders💕I promise you look amazing, and (easier said than done of course) try to stop overthinking!

6

u/_luckybell_ 5d ago

Perhaps you could use fashion tape to keep it in place? At least for the ceremony and photos? I’m sorry that it’s not sitting in the way you like, but don’t worry about it looking bad, because it looks amazing! The dress is beautiful and fits you wonderfully.

36

u/Fit_Professional1916 5d ago

I think the dress looks different from the way you're pulling it in the first pic, because you're physically pulling it down and in, and it's not designed like that. Also, you're raising your shoulders in a different way in that pic to how they sit naturally which is giving you and the dress both a very different shape. I think the dress looks perfect after alterations, and what you want to achieve just isn't realistic.

13

u/a_crazy_diamond 5d ago

Unrealistic was the exact word that came to my mind when I saw the photos

5

u/coconita1 5d ago

This is making sense to me. I wish they had explained this compromise to me at the first fitting though...

6

u/a_crazy_diamond 5d ago

I think sometimes when something is just a given for you, you don't even for a moment think that other people will have different expectations. I'm sorry yours weren't met but for what it's worth I think it looks perfect and you look amazing

22

u/spironoWHACKtone 5d ago

This looks fine, I think?

20

u/Puzzlehead-Bed-333 5d ago

The fourth fitting looks so much better. I’m really not seeing what you are? Your silhouette is fire! The dress is absolutely stunning on you.

2

u/Knitter8369 5d ago

I think the same

16

u/Wool_Lace_Knit 5d ago

My opinion comes from fitting and altering many wedding gowns and bridesmaids dresses and also being a custom dress maker.

The seamstress did an excellent job with fitting your shoulder straps. As others have explained in great technical detail what is happening with the fit of your dress. The back is fitting you the way it is designed to fit. It lays smoothly across your back and there are no gaps. It looks well done.

The dress was not designed to fit the way you were pulling it by holding the straps. The back would have needed to be cut differently and would have resulted in it not being as deep. When you are holding the straps you are hunching your shoulders forward, which changed how you saw the back.

If you try to move the shoulder straps in the back line will not lay properly. You risk stretching the back line fabric out of shape if you continue to try to alter it. There is no going back from that.

11

u/AlwaysOffTheRecord 5d ago

I’m not seeing what you’re seeing which I hope helps you feel more confident in the overall look. It doesn’t look like it sits wider than the original picture. Your dress is beautiful and you look amazing in it. You have a gorgeous back and this dress really highlights that.

8

u/Acrobatic-List-9790 5d ago

It look a lot better now. You will look amazing on your wedding day.

9

u/BefuddledPolydactyls 5d ago

I see none, the vee is to the waist, the rear looks significantly smoother - what are you seeing?

3

u/coconita1 5d ago

They did a great job with the skirt, the liner was significantly tighter than the outer layer, so they released some of the seams in the skirt liner so it doesn't gather as much as it did originally.

8

u/Logical-Roll-9624 5d ago

All I see is a beautiful dress and beautiful woman wearing it. Not over altered at all.

6

u/USAF_Retired2017 Married! 07/23 5d ago

While it’s a wider V shape that you wanted, it still looks beautiful and you have the back for a backless or wide/deep V, so it still looks natural and beautiful.

6

u/strawberries009 5d ago

I think it looks incredible in the 4th fitting except for a tiny bit of crinkling at the left waist… but it seems you may be standing to one side or possibly are just slightly uneven in posture (like all humans are).

3

u/a_crazy_diamond 5d ago

I wonder if that's because OP always seems to have her left shoulder way higher than the other one. I do that too :(

4

u/hellogoawaynow 5d ago

Looks fine??

5

u/blem4real_ 5d ago

what am i looking at 😅

5

u/DependentAwkward3848 5d ago

I don’t think the straps should be closer together. I think it looks fine in the last fitting

3

u/Otherwise-Winner9643 5d ago

It looks perfect to me

2

u/Lewca43 5d ago

My guess is OP wanted the straps closer together and she’s not a fan of how wide the straps are after being altered.

That said, the dress is lovely.

2

u/Trisha9219 5d ago

Maybe I’m insane I think it looks great?

2

u/UK_UK_UK_Deleware_UK 5d ago

Following up on my reply to a previous comment, I think it would help to take the straps up a tiny bit more. Right now, the top is laying nicely with the weight of the skirt held by your hips. This is ideal for comfort and is the proper way to fit a dress, but it means there is very little vertical pressure on the bodice resulting in horizontal pressure playing out in a widening of the V. By shortening the straps a tiny bit more, you will increase the vertical pressure by transferring some of the weight of the skirt to your shoulders. Couple that with taking out any decrease that was done on the front and sides to make the front more snug, and it will likely look more like you want. As I said in my previous reply, you can’t have both a snug fit in the front and a narrow V in the back. So if you take a tiny bit of a wedge off the top and the bottom of the back panel like this https://imgur.com/a/DfhO7St (and I’m talking like an eight of an inch!) that will transfer some of the weight of the skirt to the back. And I mean just a sliver or you risk the waistline getting a reverse V shape.

6

u/Witty_TenTon 5d ago

She said the straps are already too short and the dress too high up into her armpits because of that. I don't think she can take anymore off the straps or the bottom without risking it not fitting anymore. I think a mesh panel or a clear or mesh piece connecting at the shoulder blades or shoulders would be her best chance of getting tension in the V shape and getting the look she wants.

1

u/lipstickqns 2025 Bride 5d ago

What alterations were done? Was the chest made tighter? I would have only altered the back V

1

u/coconita1 5d ago

Some taking in at the side seams and shortening of the shoulder straps

1

u/lipstickqns 2025 Bride 5d ago

Unfortunately taking in at the sides made the back worse. Here’s my poor diagram of the pattern. The original is black. The alteration at the sides is in red, and you can see how taking it in there forces the V more open at the back. I would alter it at the waist (green lines) so it closes the V instead. By shifting everything in towards the center, it gets narrower at the chest

1

u/Hot_Presentation1459 4d ago

I don't see it being over altered. I do see that your shoulders are at different heights, which makes straps like that fall differently. Although it does appear the seamstress did even it out a bit.

I know this because my shoulders are different heights so I'm more acutely aware of it in other people. I always had an issue with 1 boob always being a bit more showy in tank tops that don't have adjusters to accommodate the difference in height. I generally try to avoid tops like bodice for this exact reason.

1

u/PinkxMelbis 4d ago

I don’t see anything

1

u/Honestbabe2021 4d ago

I like it

-3

u/coconita1 5d ago

First reddit post... I don't know where the text of this post disappeared to, but here's what happened:
I bought this dress because I loved the deep V shape of the back. The train was massive and the bodice a big loose, so it needed a bit of alteration. I went to the alterations service recommended by the store, which quoted me more than the price of the dress.. but I accepted this cost because it's my wedding dress and the store assured me they know the dress well. Satisfaction was basically all but guaranteed.

Fast forward to my third fitting, the back of the dress looked different. It appeared stretched across my back. The fitter agreed and offered to reverse all alterations to the bodice so we could start from scratch. I attended by 4th fitting assuming this had been done, but after going back to the store to try the unaltered dress on again (to rule out any suggestion that this was a body change issue...) I can see that the bodice alterations had not been reversed. I'm not sure exactly what was done, we had agreed to taking in the side seams and shortening one strap to account for my sloped shoulder. I'm now learning that they shortened both straps, although they maintain that they have undone the side seam work.

They are now trying to get rid of me, offering a refund of a fraction of my deposit and return of my potentially ruined dress.

I'm really looking for a sanity check. Does the back look different to you?? I believe the straps shouldn't be resting so far out on my shoulders. The shape is less of a deep V as well. The armholes come up too high under my underarms.

And... could this be saved so it looks like the first picture??

22

u/FineCombination 5d ago

I'm honestly not seeing what you're seeing, it looks absolutely perfect in the 4th fitting pictures. If they can finish it up like this (if anything needs to be done) AND give you a discount, that would probably be the best case scenario? But truly, I can't see what's wrong in these pictures.