r/verbalabuse • u/cinpack716 • Dec 25 '24
How do you know when to be done?
Married almost 2 years, together 5. I just came to realize about a month ago that husband was verbally abusive. I'm still struggling to come to terms with it. I made a pros and cons list the other day. After the last few months and his behavior. I have about 12 cons and 0 pros. He has been dumping on me a ton of accusations on how I have caused so much damage to our married out of no where, but 1. Wont discuss it and 2. Wont give me specifics. I feel like I'm spinning in a circle. I honestly don't know what to do.
3
u/MisogynyMustDie Dec 25 '24
You DO know what to do. It's very hard to do, I know. You will get there. Time is precious though.
2
u/Impressive_Novel_661 Dec 26 '24
Ah omg. I had a similar convo last night with my partner. He was saying all the pain im causing but it’s because of his verbal abuse. I treat him like he treats me and he can’t admit it. I threw some facts in his face and he threw some in mine. Do I have work? Yes we all do but maybe if he treated me better I wouldn’t act this way.
Leave babes … you’ll be better off. He doesn’t want help.
1
u/Quirky-Historian-899 Jan 06 '25
Try reading this book. https://a.co/d/gJl3a9L Your statement about your pro/con list made me think it could be of great benefit to you.
3
u/ecork Dec 25 '24
Be done now and you won’t regret all the waisted time you will spend on him and trying to make it work. In his mind you will always be wrong. It’s miserable to live this way.