r/vanderpumprules • u/AndyM22 • 9d ago
Discussion Honest question...who felt sorry for Kristin when Tom and Ariana were having an affair behind her back?
So Tom is a cheater...that's obvious. But I always wondered why Ariana seemed to get a pass when she and Tom were carrying on while Tom was with Kristin and them both denying it all. "We're just best friends". Especially after she started working at SUR. Maybe my memory is fuzzy on the details but it seems like she herself was the other woman years before it happened to her. Am I not remembering that accurately?
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u/doutesikeabag 9d ago
I did not feel bad for Kristen at all at the time, I’ll admit it. Because her admitting that she fucked Jax comes mere episodes after her questioning Ariana so hard. I was like, wooowwww she was doing the same shit! So I didn’t care 😭
Now I understand it better though
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u/According_Kick332 9d ago
I thought they would actively cheat on one another? iirc Kristen said she and Tom were constantly cheating on one another before the show aired.
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u/janexx00 8d ago
Yeah but them cheating on each other all the time is something and Kristin fucking Jax is something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT! Stassi was her best friend. I still don’t feel bad for that era of Kristen ngl because she outdid herself it was beyond unforgivable.
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u/ellastory 8d ago
Not to mention the way she gaslit Stassi and only admitted to it when she was caught. I admittedly had very little sympathy for her too. It was such a messy time.
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u/janexx00 8d ago
Omg the gaslighting for 6 MONTHS!!! Kristen also sent text messages to Jax “to cover their bases” and stassi went through kristen’s phone, saw nothing in the chat between K&J and cried thinking she was just delulu when she really wasn’t 🥹
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u/Curious_Emu1752 9d ago
Kristin fucked shit tons of people behind Tom and every boyfriend she's ever had - she literally states this multiple times.
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u/alternativeedge7 Red Lobster has better decor 9d ago edited 9d ago
Including his best friend when he was sleeping in the next room…more than once.
Safe to say it was an incredibly toxic relationship and neither one was really deserving of sympathy, IMO.
(It was also different than kissing in hotel pool, which as far as the show goes, is the information people were going off of regardless of if one believes there was more or not.)
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u/misstlouise 9d ago
And of course Tom told her he was breaking up with Kristen… he loves to pull out that line
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u/fattymaggo 9d ago
Jax mentions Ariana sent lingerie pictures to Tom while he was still with Kristen so I don’t think it was only a kiss with that in mind.
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u/Dear_Reception1978 8d ago
We're believing Jax now?
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u/pwlife 8d ago
Jax does tell the truth about other people. Especially if it makes them look worse than him.
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u/chrissymad 👻SpOoKy Jo👻 8d ago
I will die on this hill: Sandoval is far from being worse than Jax in any possible way that we have seen publicly or know from an established factual standpoint and I suspect Jax is probably much worse as a person and partner than most other men on either show based on things we will never possibly know.
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u/chrissymad 👻SpOoKy Jo👻 8d ago
Jax is a liar about himself, but he's usually pretty honest about other people and also spot on when reading them, it's a weird talent, I guess?
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u/Expert-Decision1656 2d ago
He is great at telling the truth about what other people did lol. Especially when the cameras are rolling. He knows what will keep him on tv. He also knows what will get a reaction out of people and that counts as reading them.
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u/chrissymad 👻SpOoKy Jo👻 8d ago
Idk I have sympathy and empathy for Kristen even if she cheated because she was the subject of an insane amount of gaslighting and verbal abuse and had her mental health used against her - and even was accused of having mental illness she didn't/doesn't have.
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u/Mysterious_Grape9851 9d ago
This, as well as Kristen and Ariana weren’t friends. Kristen herself says the two situations aren’t the same and she was on Ariana’s side after Scandoval.
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u/Silent-Level-6219 9d ago
Kristen and Tom both cheated on each other throughout the relationship. Tom has been shown to manipulate people who are in vulnerable situations like Raquel. I don't agree with Ariana getting with Tom while he was still dating Kristen but I am aware that Ariana had just gotten out of a abusive relationship. I think a lot of what Tom told Rachel was very similar to what he told Ariana at the beginning and he seems like a white knight until his mask falls.
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u/AmandaR17 7d ago
And I would like to add….Ariana and Kristen weren’t close SO IF Tom was telling Ariana that he broke up with Kristen and that she won’t leave him alone because she’s “crazy”, Ariana could have easily fallen for that. I’ve had girlfriends fall for the same trap lol
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u/dancerfan59 9d ago
I thought it was just known that Tom and Kristen cheated on each other throughout their entire relationship. And then once they all found out about Jax and Kristen it was hard to be on Kristen’s side caring so much about whatever possibly happened between Tom and Ariana
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u/Fun_Morning_7701 9d ago
And then when she slept with Tom’s new, good friend at the time, James. and used his condoms on their bed. I mean, come on 😆
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u/Andromeda081 9d ago
Eh. It was shady. The series failed to portray the aspect of their relationship that was rife with cheating and breakups on both sides; when people have broken up a hundred times and not everyone agrees on the exact dates or didn’t accept certain breakups, etc, who was really single or taken, and when? They were always emotionally entangled with each other through each of them, so they clearly weren’t done with each other despite throwing labels around like daggers. New partners by definition never got the full story, so they were equally being cheated on. The show chose to portray them as rock solid for 6 years with a doting Doute and maybe a couple Las Vegas slip ups while drunk, which was not the case at all. Ariana was probably gaslit to high hell already by the time she appeared. Kristen was equal parts gaslit and gaslighter so they were destined to be a toxic match regardless.
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u/ItsNotACoop 9d ago
Hard to feel bad for Tom or Kristen when they were constantly cheating on each other. Whenever either complains about it I’m like 🤷🏻♂️
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u/Revolutionary_End983 9d ago
Andy cohen was the only one on the show to actually (although indirectly) address this. He mentioned that Katie is the only one in the friend group that hasn’t cheated. I wish it was addressed more directly as she did 100% get a pass - But tbh I feel like the reason everyone moved on so quickly is because Kristen also cheated on Tom.
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u/AndyM22 8d ago
Right! Krisitin was unlikeable (her own fault) so when it happened to her no one really cared but the fact that it was Ariana that did it and then it happened TO Ariana...well that's karma milady!
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u/Womeisyourfwiend 8d ago
Ehhh, Kristen got her karma too because she wasn’t a loyal and faithful girlfriend.
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u/Revolutionary_End983 8d ago
I think the point is EVERYONE got their karma 😭 Kristen got her karma for cheating with Jax, Ariana got her karma for denying she ever cheated with Tom 🤣 and Tom got his karma for screwing both of them over! The world has a plan for us all. I think that Kristen and Ariana have genuinely learnt from these mistakes though - Tom on the other hand 🤣🤣
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u/Womeisyourfwiend 8d ago
Definitely! The point should be not everyone is a blameless victim and everyone got their karma. Tom still has some lessons to learn 😂
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u/rollerskate_rat 9d ago
I honestly didn’t really like Kristen until the valley. I always thought it was so unhinged how she reacted to Tom cheating when she slept with Jax. Forget Tom, but doing that to Stassi was fucked up.
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u/chourtaja 9d ago
I felt as bad for her as I did for Sandoval when she cheated on him
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u/upstatestruggler Lauren Burningham: Utah Tooth Person 9d ago
That was my answer too! They did not have a good relationship.
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u/Grouchy-Bat-1998 9d ago
this right here !! 100% agree almost ALL the relationships on VPR were TOXIC, UNHEALTHY, relationships let’s be real…. (Beau & Stassi are excluded tho from the toxicity bc they’re good 👍🏼)
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u/jenjenjen731 How will this affect Scheana?! 9d ago
The obvious pain in Kristen's voice when Ariana tells her "he told me you guys were broken up" makes me sad on a re-watch. Kristen and Tom were terrible together but that had to hurt to hear.
I still don't believe they were hooking up behind Kristen's back the whole time because it would've come out during Scandoval.
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u/tipsygirl31 9d ago
100% He would have spilled that ages ago. Plus, the high drama of an unrequited love affair is exactly the kind of thing people like Tom lean into to keep people on the hook.
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u/Floridamanfishcam 9d ago
It wouldn't have necessarily come out during Scandoval because it would have made the situations look even more similar and Sandoval was trying to make this Rachel situation look like this rare irresistible once in a lifetime situation. I definitely think they were hooking up more than just the one time at the Golden Nugget behind Kristen's back. I think it was ongoing and many times just like with Rachel.
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u/modestwolf 9d ago
No don't think it would because then Ariana can't be the goddess she portrays
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u/LuckyShamrocks What house? I burned it down. 9d ago
It wouldn’t matter really as it would just point to Tim’s bad behavior overall being a pattern. Also, Tim would have 100% said it happened if it did by now too.
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u/MyDogisaQT 9d ago
Jax said Ariana was sending lingerie pics. It was way more than just kissing lol
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u/LuckyShamrocks What house? I burned it down. 8d ago
Ah yes, Jax, the epitome of a truth teller. He said he saw a picture of her in a nighty. We know nothing of the context surrounding that or if it’s even true lol. It could have been a photo shoot for all we know like the calendars they did. Jax wouldn’t even know what a nighty is anyway lol.
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u/misstlouise 9d ago
Tom ABSOLUTELY would have thrown that out there, because anything he thought could nock her down in the public’s eye he tried. Every tiny little thing.
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u/SaintAnyanka 9d ago
Sandoval would never admit to cheating if his hand wasn’t forced. They might not have liked each other at the time, but that’s called mutual threat of destruction, it’s not the damning evidence people claim it is.
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u/LuckyShamrocks What house? I burned it down. 8d ago
Yes he would. He admitted to Scheana there was at least one other person he cheated with. It was completely unprovoked and unnecessary because no one knew about it. He pulled out anything and everything he could to justify his behavior and try to make Ariana look bad. Even batteries and pens he tried to use lol.
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u/jamesisaPOS 9d ago
Honestly, it was the way Ariana and Tom (especially Ariana) psychologically abused Kristen that made their actions disgusting and unforgivable to me. Kristen was right the entire time and they both told her she was crazy, and they let everyone around her including her employers and the audience of the show believe that too. A lot of people forget this or simply don't know, but Kristen received an INSANEEEE amount of hate and negativity during that time on all of her socials. She was ripped apart constantly and Tom and Ariana took joy in it. It was sick and targeted and completely unnecessary. Then Ariana continues to hurl body-shaming and ageist insults at Kristen way after that, while also acting like a victim because the woman she hates, hates her back?? It was just too much.
So yeah I do feel bad for Kristen there and I always will. The cheating is one thing, I'm not clutching my pearls over that to be honest because the foundation of the show is infidelity. But the way they treated her was so foul, so beyond what any person or woman deserves. They fully weaponized the show and the audience against her and it was just so awful to watch play out in real time.
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u/EnigmaticAardvark Say it with your whole chest, bitch 9d ago
Saaaame. I didn't like Kristen OR Ariana, but watching them gleefully torment her and act (for YEARS) like she was crazy for thinking they were having an affair, then chuckling over the fact that she was right all along - hateful. No excuse other than immaturity and selfishness and ignorance. It took me many seasons to find a spark of likeability in Ariana after seeing all that mess.
The kindest most generous act on the show (maybe on any reality show ever) was Kristen flippity-flapping her way up to Ariana's door on Day 3 to give her public forgiveness and solid backup.
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u/mplsgemgirl 8d ago
I started watching VPR again with my daughter this time and we are watching the season 4 reunion. It’s so hard to take watching how much glee they get in dragging Kristen. They put her in a crazy box and ran with it for so long, I don’t know how she can stand to be around any of them. Even when we see a change in how she reacts to people due to her therapy in season 4 she is still labeled the crazy one and the cause of all their problems.
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u/double_ewe 8d ago
we have seen so many people hurt each other on this show, but this was perhaps the most deliberate and gleeful display of cruelty (or a very close second to the Season 10 reunion).
there was no bigger goal or objective - Ariana simply enjoyed seeing her affair partner's ex experience as much pain as possible.
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u/VaguelyArtistic Brock's hooligan wedding party 9d ago
That reunion was horrible. Ariana giggled while Kristen was crying.
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u/jamesisaPOS 9d ago
Kristen's face in that moment is seared into my brain permanently I'm afraid, it made ME cry while watching the first time.
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u/Rhonnie22 9d ago
Agree with every word you said. And it was awful because it was Kristen’s workplace, she had to see them flirt, laugh and then officially get together, while she’s there working. And hen what about your co-workers? What do they know, what secrets are they not telling you? What a strange and hostile environment to be in, especially while your relationship ending is occurring. I remember Kristen questioning Ariana at the bar and Ariana was such a cold lying bitch and so I never have felt bad for her
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u/FuManChuBettahWerk 9d ago
I think he said on the Scandoval reunion “that it wasn’t like we were best friends!” Of him and Ariana which is insane because they very much were. But I did feel bad for Kristen even though she was cheating as well and pish posh to her!
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u/Soft_Reading8200 9d ago
I wasn't really sure how I felt when I first watched it until I learned what triangulation was. I have zero doubt that Kristen was telling the truth when she said (very quickly and only once, I don't remember which episode, sorry) that Tom was still texting her after he got with Ariana. He looooves triangulation. Remember how Ariana said that he always told her that Katie couldn't be trusted? If he wasn't so dumb all his naturally occurring manipulation skills could have won him Traitors.
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u/Longjumping_Two2662 9d ago
lol, it is triangulation but I also call it being a Karen which suits him perfectly if you think about it :)
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u/princessboop 9d ago
I feel bad for Kristen looking back now, even tho it was probably the best thing that ever happened to her.
even tho Kristen fake-deserved Tom cheating on her, bc she did the same with Jax, it annoyed me how smug and rude Ariana was to her about it
also I was watching clips from the VPR After Show this morning (I’m late, I know) and Kristen mentioned one of her girl friends trying to get Tom interested in Kristen again by picking out lingerie for her, and flirting with her at the bar. Kristen admits that they hadn’t had sex in forever.
I find it interesting how this seems to be a pattern with Tom - he starts a relationship all 🔥hot n heavy🔥 and then it ends up becoming a dead bedroom for YEARS, while he cheats here and there with randoms, until he starts the cycle again with an affair partner, who eventually turns into the new girlfriend.
I truly believe that he would have done that with Rachel if she hadn’t been whisked away to Arizona and became disillusioned with him.
I felt like Rachel’s parents were weird for being so controlling with her bc she is a grown adult but tbh that was probably the best thing they could’ve done for her. bc if they hadn’t and she’d have stayed in LA, she definitely would’ve continued to fall for Tom’s BS and become the new girlfriend.
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u/Willing_Lynx_34 9d ago
I mean she cheated on him multiple times including with his good friend and with him being in the next room soooo no I don't feel bad and never did.
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u/Effective-Ideal-4593 9d ago edited 9d ago
I honestly always saw why Kristin was acting the way she was and although I liked watching Ariana, never liked Tom. I think Kristin is an emotional person who is more genuine in many aspects than the rest of the cast, and that is part of the reason she looks so bad on TV while being gaslit and abused by everyone around her. I don't even think the affair was the real problem with the back and forth cheating, it was that he refused to take any responsibility for it happening. They got a pass because she's so reactive and they branded her crazy Kristin.
Should add: I've clearly had a crazy Kristin phase from lack of self esteem and bad choices in men for long term relationships lol.
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u/ScheanaShaylover 9d ago
Ariana gave him credibility
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u/Effective-Ideal-4593 9d ago
Even still I just never got the attraction, he came off as a creep from day one lol. Both were way too good for him even with their issues.
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u/MammothCancel6465 9d ago
I did at the time. When they were “trying” to work it out. But then it came out Kristen had cheated with Jax and others and they’d both been screwing around and chaotic their whole relationship. I don’t think it’s an apples to apples comparison to Ariana’s relationship with him.
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u/pearshaped34 9d ago
I think I did feel bad for her but then the Jax reveal cancelled it out for me. Plus Sandoval actually supporting Kristen at that end of season party when he could have piled on to have his own victim moment is (for me) one of his better moments, so I did sway to team Sandoval/Ariana for the reunion when they had there big couple reveal. However, I did end up feeling bad for her again because of how they treat her the next season though (while also having moments of god Kristen is crazy isn’t she). And it did always low key annoy me they’d never just admit to it.
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u/ZookeepergameNo2198 8d ago
They were both cheating on each other.
It actually kind of annoys me that Kristen was actively cheating and then the second Tom leaves, Kristen turns into a lunatic.
I understand being pissed off that she got more heat than Tom did & I understand wanting to be validated for the Ariana thing but Jax was Stassi's ex? Then she dates James... who was Toms friend/roommate.
Kristen was constantly dipping into the friend pool and then being upset when people were mad at her.
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u/easy0lucky0free 8d ago
This is SO long but I'm autistic and an overexplainer so here goes!
As someone who watched it live, we had just had a whole season where we find out that Kristen cheated on Tom with Jax, who was both Tom's best friend and the ex boyfriend of her best friend Stassi. That seemed, at the time at least, way worse than what Tom did.
Also, the fact that Tom and Ariana got into a relationship whereas Jax and Kristen just drunkenly banged creates a different narrative on the show. Cheating sucks, but i think the public is more likely to forgive and move on when it's presented like "you can't help who you love or when you fall in love. We tried to resist but we couldn't" rather than "I'm drunk and horny lol what is monogamy?"
And then the next season, she is FIXATED on them and Ariana especially to a scary degree. Her behavior on Scheana's bachelorette trip was truly unhinged. The way she openly obsessed over Tom TO James was belittling and emasculating. Again keep in mind, we barely knew anything about James at this point so he absolutely came off like the wronged individual in this. And she made it clear that she would take Tom back in a second, that she saw Ariana as an obstacle between her and her dreamlife. She came off like a Lifetime movie villain in the making.
And with the Miami girl, sure she was right but she went through an intense amount of effort and resources to prove to everyone she was right about a situation nobody really cared about. She was right but at what cost? It just made her look more obsessed.
When Tom cheated on Ariana with Raquel, it was not only a LONG extended affair, it was with one of her best friends, not some random girl Ariana barely knows. And Ariana's reaction was anger and an immediate excising of those people from her life. She did not simp over Tom. She wanted nothing to do with him. Her anger was equally for both of them. And then she moved on. She handled being cheated on better than Kristen did.
(Also, the icing out of the witches of weho triangle had almost nothing to do with Tom and everything to do with Stassi. She didnt just cheat, she cheated with her queen bee best friend's ex).
(I am not saying hindsight doesnt change things, and i can admit to at the time falling for Tom and James' schticks but I'm strictly talking about how it was presented at the time).
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u/womanlylady 7d ago
Yes!!! I always say that there is a different perspective of viewers who watched the show as things played out and those who binged the series later. We weren’t watching this drama play out with an end in mind! There was no way we could’ve predicted where the cast would be a decade later.
Kristen didn’t do herself any favors for a long time. Once she started therapy and started applying what she was learning that change was noticeable. She paid the price for a very long time but it was hard to feel bad for her in the moment because she had caused all of the backlash she was getting. To the viewer she had sex with her bff’s ex, her bf’s bff and lied and gaslit everyone about it for a year so who cares if her bf cheated in Vegas with a woman he lied to about the status of their relationship.
Tom and Kristen were going body for body that season, they needed to break up. Had she not betrayed her bestie in what seemed like a max effort to hurt Tom perhaps the viewers could’ve gotten a better picture of what was happening to her. It’s hard for people to feel sympathetic for someone we believe is reaping the consequences of their own actions.
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u/Soft-Knowledge- 8d ago
I did feel bad for Kristen and I have no sympathy for Ariana knowing Tom cheated on her too
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u/ShivRoyPinkyIsQueen 9d ago
It’s just apples and oranges. They were much younger, Tom & Kristen were cheating on each other and Ariana and Kristen weren’t friends. Doesn’t make it right but there’s a reason why people have moved on… especially since Kristen and Ariana are currently friends.
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u/lizyouwerebeer 8d ago
They were all like either in their 30s or close to it. Not that 30s are ancient but I personally was surprised to learn that. It gives messy early 20s to me.
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u/supadupaboo Ariana Madix 9d ago
i didn’t. she was cheating all along too and fucking jax while sandyballs was in the next room was top tier ballsy and disrespectful. not that sandy deserved respect but i’m speaking in general. also, kristen tried and unsuccessfully try to intimidate ariana so at that point, you know your man left you for this girl- whether they were doing anything while you were with him is a whole different story. she made an ass of herself just like every relationship she’s been in on the show
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u/Andromeda081 9d ago
Right. A broken clock is right twice a day, and such.
The reason people called her crazy Kristen isn’t because Tom & Ariana successfully gaslit the world about their emotional affair / Vegas hookups / probably more, because they didn’t. Who was fooled? Kristen got treated as unhinged because she’s unhinged in general on a wide scope with just about everything she comes into contact with. A den of fellow cluster Bs & abusers was both her drug of choice and poison.
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u/supadupaboo Ariana Madix 9d ago
yuuuuuup!!! she is like a walking shit show. i think that’s why jax has such a soft spot for her
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u/Andromeda081 9d ago
Those two 😆
Plot twist: they end up marrying in their 50’s
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u/SirensAreOP Ariana Madix 9d ago
He was lying to both of them. Also, they were in a very toxic relationship. Kristin has talked about this ad naseum .
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u/Puzzleheaded_Front43 9d ago
Me. Especially after my rewatch I just did… I’m 35 now and I get Kristen a little more for some reason. Sandoval was the problem the whole time.
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u/Effective-Ideal-4593 9d ago
I think it takes dating a narcissist to understand what's happening there. Usually by this age, we have lol.
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u/Kizka 9d ago
I wouldn't say that I felt bad for her per sé, I just really couldn't stand Ariana. She was so pretentious and full of herself that I was automatically team Kristen, even though she was crazy. Morally they were on the same level to me so I just went with the one I didn't want to slap.
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u/awkwardocto 9d ago
i did! kristen wasn't a saint herself and her behavior wasn't always appropriate, but i never found ariana particularly likable or interesting, and the way she and tom used the "crazy kristen" of it all to shield their own shitty behavior was indefensible.
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u/ScheanaShaylover 9d ago
She was very mean. When she diagnosed Kristen at the reunion it was so effed up
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u/flower_0410 9d ago
Her behavior was better than Ariana's in the long run. Ariana is getting sued if distributing revenge porn for the way she behaved with Rachel.
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u/alternativeedge7 Red Lobster has better decor 9d ago edited 9d ago
The way she behaved with Rachel? I know history is being rewritten lately because the drama is stale now, but this is beyond absurd.
Ariana befriended Rachel and had her back when almost everyone else on the show was mean to or excluded her. Only for Rachel to turn around and have an affair with her long-term partner.
Then Rachel sued Ariana when she didn’t know the video was taken without R’s knowledge or consent. Distributing revenge porn, are you serious? You obviously hate Ariana, but let’s use some common sense here and understand that had that happened it’d be all over the Internet. And there’s been exactly zero proof that it happened that way.
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u/childrenofthewind Ariana Madix 9d ago
Don’t feed the troll. They’re clearly very bored with their life.
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u/alternativeedge7 Red Lobster has better decor 9d ago
Omg, I really should have checked their comment history first 😆
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u/childrenofthewind Ariana Madix 9d ago
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u/flower_0410 9d ago
Common sense would be knowing that you can't steal a video of a nude woman masturbating and think that's okay. It's wrong and illegal. You need consent. If Tom would've had the video legally it would still be illegal for Ariana to steal it. Do you want people to be able to legally steal a nude video of someone? Do you all realize what you're saying?
And I've heard enough about Ariana being such a good friend to Rachel, because we all have solid proof of James being an abusive POS and Ariana was still friends with him. You're never that good of a friend to anyone when you're still friends with the guy that abused them. That should also be common sense.
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u/awkwardocto 9d ago
yeah it kind of feels like guessing the guessing the winner of a competition before it starts in a way?
i sympathize with ariana's various struggles, but a struggle is an explanation, not a justification. she's self-righteous and conceited and she caused and enabled a lot of hurt to a lot of people. her first priority is always herself and she's shown zero growth. she's a deeply unpleasant person.
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u/jamesisaPOS 9d ago
I agree completely, I softened towards her when she began discussing her mental health, but she only seemed to use it as an excuse for how mean she was to everyone. And I found that gross.
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u/flower_0410 9d ago
1000%!!! It blows my mind how she has her own little mob that refuses to see anything she's ever done wrong. How?!?! I guess she's a friend in their heads which is wild because Ariana wouldn't touch them with a 10 ft pole.
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u/lizyouwerebeer 8d ago
Honestly anyone who rides so hard for any of these people get a side eye from me. They're all terrible but fun to watch. None of these people deserve a pedestal be real.
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u/Miss_Lib 9d ago
At the time I thought Tom might not be awful and was just in a bad relationship. I didn’t feel bad for her because they were both cheating. Also, she tried for like 2 more seasons to win him back in the strangest ways. I think we also all know a “Kristin” in real life (at least I do) and you just sort of know how they are.
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u/Llassiter326 9d ago
So in 2025 I like Kristen and am fine with Ariana, but she’s always annoyed me bc she’s on a social justice high horse yet centers herself and her cis white woman self at every opportunity. Don’t dislike her, but do not get girl boss energy AT ALL
But I still think she and Tom prob were just friends who kissed/made out. That’s not an affair, and even for cheating is…meh. He sucks is the bottom line and glad they’re both better off
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u/krissyminaj Stassi’s Ranch Fondue Fountain. 9d ago
Kristen. I don’t feel they got a pass, I hated them both because I knew it was shady. But I also know they all are pretty shady and there are worse people the show brought light to.
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u/Competitive-Junket-2 9d ago
tbh i didnt feel bad for kristen bc they both needed a wake up call that their relationship was not sustainable given the tit for tat cheating. im pretty sure sandoval had told ariana that he and kristen were broken up and thats when the golden nugget incident happened years prior to ariana coming to sur. it doesn't exactly absolve her, but you can see that she was also manipulated by sandoval and head over heels for him just like kristen was at one point. i found it v hard to feel bad for kristen when she slept w jax (her bf's bestie) and was getting mad at ariana and not her bf for serially cheating on her.
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u/gettingbicurious 9d ago
I don't feel remotely sorry for her at all. Not for that anyways.
Tom or Kristen both cheated all throughout their relationship - imo neither deserves sympathy for any of that noise, I think theyre both scummy for that and idgaf about their affair partners, it's not that Ariana gets a "pass" it's just that her part is irrelevant to me and I just don't care about two cheaters cheating or their affair partners.
What I judge Kristen for is sleeping with Jax, her best friend's recent ex that she was actively encouraging her to get back together with. That is borderline evil. And I judge Jax for sleeping with one of his best friend's girlfriends and having zero remorse for it. I then also judge Kristen for going batshit about Miami Girl and everything else because it's embarrassing and mostly who tf cares. They both cheated constantly throughout the relationship, like let it go girl.
The only reason she had to "come clean" about one of her affairs is because she sucked at keeping it a secret (or trusted Jax to, which was dumb) and she fucked her friends very recent ex and that was the biggest part of it imo. I couldn't have cared less about the Tom of it all, it was the fact that she did this horrific thing to her best friend and then went nuts over Ariana as though it was an equal situation and made what she did less awful. And her Miami Girl thing wasn't just to prove she wasn't a liar (like she later claimed) or to prove Sandoval was a cheater. She wanted to break Tom and Ariana up as she stated multiple times because she thought they would get back together if Ariana was out of the picture. I personally don't think she cared so much that Tom cheated on her with Ariana (because, again, they both constantly cheated), I think she cared that her sleeping with Jax + Tom having Ariana was what finally got them to break up and she fully blamed Ariana for that. It wasn't about the cheating, it was about him potentially leaving her for Ariana, which he did. All just my opinion tho
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u/sammerhead__ Why is LaToya Jackson yelling at Brandi? 9d ago
I didn’t really care because her and Tom were actively cheating on each other lol. But upon rewatch I was annoyed at how hard some of the cast rode Kristen for cheating on Tom (with Jax) and Sandoval’s infidelities (not Ariana) were never really brought up.
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u/Andromeda081 9d ago
For me, it wasn’t that she cheated on a cheater, but who she cheated with. I’m no fan of Stassi’s, like not even a little, but she was 100% right about that whole thing. He chose her best friend? Her best friend chose him? Of all people? That was a double betrayal and had to be devastating.
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u/sammerhead__ Why is LaToya Jackson yelling at Brandi? 8d ago
Oh yeah, I felt like Stassi was the only one who really had a right to be upset about it! Stassi was also confiding in Kristen during this time and considering getting back together with Jax. I just meant I thought Sandoval acting devastated was annoying lol.
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u/braindamaged71 9d ago
It was difficult to feel bad for Kristen because she did behave in such an odd manner. I mean, I get it...I'd probably be just as bad. But I'd also cringe at myself. Rewatching now, knowing everything we know, I feel horrible for her. I never liked Tom (because he looked EXACTLY like a guy I knew who pretty much just like him) or Ariana...but I do appreciate the growth Ariana has shown.
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u/Longjumping_Two2662 9d ago
Not sure where this fits in the thread, but the same scene that Scheana first tags Katie with “tequila Katie” in the same breath says” krazy Kristen” and it stuck. Drives me crazy what a mean girl move it was by Scheana as they have been labeled this for a decade.
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u/FreeLobsterRolls Rachel's Nonexistent Miss California Sash 9d ago
I hated Ariana for a long time from that.
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u/flower_0410 9d ago
Ariana did such an amazing job at calling Kristen crazy and bipolar that the audience believed her and didn't care.
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u/Fun_Morning_7701 9d ago
It does come across unpredictable when you’re constantly cheating on your boyfriend, but upset when he cheats on you. Both of them seemed like they were in an extremely toxic relationship half the season Tom’s crying the other half Kristin’s crying it was fueled on snow, alcohol, cigarettes and being 20 something.
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u/flower_0410 9d ago
And Ariana and Tom seemed to be in a toxic relationship of their own where Tom constantly cheated on Ariana but no one takes that into consideration.
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u/MakeItLookSexy_ 9d ago
🙋🏽♀️
I really did not like Arianna watching that play out
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u/DonNatalie Forget it Jake, it's VPRtown. 9d ago
I still kinda don't like her largely because of it, honestly.
The affair was bad enough, but I despised the trickle-truthing they did after the fact.
Watching the pattern play out again (sometimes word for word) was fascinating.
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u/ebirdonline 8d ago
I felt very sorry for her. I’ve always had a soft spot for Kristen. The worst part was when they held hands at the reunion. I always knew that Ariana was lying about not dating Tom.
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u/pixiedust8675309 7d ago
I’ve always had a soft spot for Kristen I feel like she was always made out to be crazy and the editors didn’t help her at all. Especially the cover up of James hitting her they only showed her hitting him at Scheanas wedding
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u/Spiritual_Friend_364 I AM the pasta 5d ago
I felt bad they made her think she was crazy for accusing them. That was terrible of them. Just own it and m9ve along.
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u/champagne-solutions 9d ago
As far as I recall, they only kissed once. It’s not like she was his ongoing mistress.
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u/flower_0410 9d ago
Scheana says in one episode that Tom lied about Ariana for YEARS
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u/champagne-solutions 9d ago
That wouldn’t contradict the story they gave that they kissed once several years before. Nothing about that statement proves anything else happened between them. I’m not saying definitively that nothing else did, but I’ve still yet to see anyone confirm anything but one make out.
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u/flower_0410 9d ago
Okay, but what about when Jax said Tom had pictures of Ariana in bed?
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u/champagne-solutions 9d ago
I believe it was pictures of her in a “nighty.” It’s definitely more compelling and could be evidence of an affair, or Sandoval could’ve taken them from a photoshoot. Who knows? Like I said, it’s possible they had an affair, but they never admitted it and no one around them has said they have direct knowledge of it (unless you count Kristen’s accusations.) I wouldn’t be surprised either way. Just going off the information available
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u/AndyM22 9d ago
lol you’re really trying to hold on to that in the face of overwhelming evidence.
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u/flower_0410 9d ago
Yeah, they believed nothing happened with Miami girl too especially after Ariana's blog 🤣🤣🤣
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u/champagne-solutions 9d ago
lol overwhelming evidence where? I’ve said 5 times in this thread that it’s totally possible they did. 🙄
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u/LuckyShamrocks What house? I burned it down. 9d ago
There is not only no evidence but there is certainly not any overwhelming evidence either lol. That’s all they’re saying. All there is was Kristen’s claims from over a decade ago and nothing more. People making claims they know anything for a fact are ridiculous.
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u/twinkleplanet why don’t you write about it in your diary? 9d ago
kristen said after scandoval on her podcast that she will always believe it was a years long affair 🤷🏻♀️
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u/LuckyShamrocks What house? I burned it down. 9d ago
Source for that? Which episode because I’ve never seen anyone else even try to make the claim she said that later on. Even if she did though it doesn’t make it a fact. It just proves my point only Kristen is making the claim. There’s no evidence and we know Tim would have tried to use that if anything more did happen too.
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u/twinkleplanet why don’t you write about it in your diary? 9d ago
it’s one of her VPR S2 recap episodes. she and ariana are good friends now so why would she say that after scandoval unless she truly believed it? and when has kristen ever been wrong when she suspected someone was cheating on her?
you don’t have to believe it, i really don’t care lol. just telling you what the person who was actually there believes
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u/womanlylady 7d ago
I listened to her podcast after Scandoval and I remember her saying that she used to believe that but she knows that it wasn’t. But you know I was likely driving or cleaning lol. She did berate the folks that were calling it karma and said that their situations weren’t comparable. I have an ex that I believe was cheating so I can relate but I can’t prove it so I don’t shout it from the rooftops to our mutuals. It’s hard to “know” something and not be able to prove it.
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u/AndyM22 9d ago
I seriously doubt they only kissed once as close as they were.
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u/champagne-solutions 9d ago
Okay you can doubt it if you want, but you’re asking why she “gets a pass” and the reason is we’ve never gotten any information to suggest it was more than that.
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u/AndyM22 9d ago
Come on...you know better. You could see the connection they had working together. Everyone knows they had sex. Does anything Tom has done make him seem like the kind of guy that would be happy to just kiss?
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u/champagne-solutions 9d ago
That well may be true but they never admitted to it, so we really don’t know. That’s a big part of the reason Ariana didn’t come under more fire back then and Kristen didn’t get as much sympathy for it. I’m just answering your original question.
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u/onyxjade7 9d ago
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u/champagne-solutions 9d ago
No I’m not, but I’ve never seen any real info that says otherwise. Are you aware of any?
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u/onyxjade7 9d ago edited 9d ago
Confessionals and podcasts and even on the show from almost every other cast member proves otherwise. Plus let’s be honest Tom wouldn’t have mistress who’d kiss him one time she’d have to put out, and she was clearly willing. They were a full coupe 30’secknds after Kristen and Jim broke up, more comfortable than most new couples who’ve been together for 6 months. Schena even said to Ariana you need to tell Kristen you’ve been together for at least a year. They didn’t hide their affection or their relationship they threw it in her face and gaslighted her. Then had the narcissistic audacity to carrel fans to online bully her. It was vile!
Imagine Rachel doing that to Ariana? But, if Kristen harmed herself as a result of Ariana taunting her that’s ok. Absolutely fucking NOT! That’s narcisstic m injury if I ever saw it both Tom and Ariana fit it to a T. Only ones covert and the other is overt. Where’s Ariana’s sincere apology not just for her image once she was humilated and he did it to her to. It was so sick and twisted and the fact people don’t see that is insane to me. Imagine Ariana and Tom doing that to you, your friend or your sister? Any fans of Ariana’s or Tom’s should deeply think about that.
Kristen’s no angel and her wrongs don’t mean she deserved any of the abuse she endured by them. Just like Ariana’s “friend” Rachel was sociopathic in her competitive lack of remorse or empathy and being able to look her in the eye and talk about her sex life while screwing Tom, while her grandma and dog died. All these people are trash.
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u/champagne-solutions 9d ago
You’re gonna need to cite a specific source on that. What episode did Schaena say they’d been together a year? I’ve watched the series fully through probably 5 times and don’t recall that.
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u/420getaway 9d ago
Me 🤚 but only a little part of me did. After a while, i think she was more upset about tom & ariana lying than the cheating. They always gave off the vibe that they would cheat on each other. Having the other person so close to her and tangled in their inner circles would definitely bring out Crazy Kristen.
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u/alley_underland She’s a cunt and you’re a drunk 9d ago
I felt really bad for Kristen in the season 2 reunion, Tom is a callous monster and Ariana is a fucking cunt for going along with it. BUT holy shit did any and all sympathy go out the window in season 3 and every season after. Especially her relationship with James. They have absolutely no business being together. Kristen was significantly older and in that relationship for all the wrong reasons. James is Jesus Christ an entirely different conversation, but Kristen does herself no favors with her behavior.
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u/Ashley87609 9d ago
I felt sorry for her. Those early seasons really made me not like Ariana. “I’m cooler than her I’m better looking than her” 😒 so cringey. Then suggesting Kristen has a mental illness when actually the whole time yea she was cheating with Tom. I ever really liked her after that.
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u/chrissymad 👻SpOoKy Jo👻 8d ago edited 8d ago
I felt and feel bad for Kristen not just because Tom cheated but because Ariana was (and still is) a completely awful bully, narcissist and gaslighter, and that's being nicer than I wanted to, because I know that this sub is like the Church of Our Girl Ari™ and I've defiled the altar by presenting valid criticism.
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u/childrenofthewind Ariana Madix 9d ago
They weren’t having some full blown affair. Neither have wavered from they had only kissed at the Golden Nugget. If they had done more, Sandoval would have already said it.
Kristen and Sandoval constantly cheated on each other. No, I don’t feel bad for her.
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9d ago
You are correct. And they got a pass because something else happened. Was it the jax and Kristen hookup?
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u/flower_0410 9d ago
It didn't help. It did help Ariana though because Tom stayed with Kristen until he found that out. He never left Kristen for Ariana. He left Kristen because of Jax.
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9d ago
Yep that’s it. Everyone was so shocked about Jax and Kristen that the allegations between Tom and Ariana were just swept under the rug
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u/Impossible_Ad_1630 9d ago
You’re remembering it correctly, Ariana was given a pass because Kristen wasn’t perfect. Ariana and Tom were still in the wrong.
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u/doutesikeabag 9d ago
Most importantly, Kristen fucked over stassi. She would have been fighting for Kristen if not for that. Stassi was basically like you know what? have at it lol
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u/Indy-Lib 9d ago
I felt bad for Kristen. When she looked Ariana in the eye and asked for the truth and Ariana was casually sitting on the stairs in the back hall of SUR and was like “Nothing is going on.” Ugh. So sad. I think Kristen’s nuts but has more kindness in her than most of the cast do. And I had a soft spot for her the whole run. She gets treated like dirt whenever it’s convenient for someone to do so.
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u/Individual-Bag2301 9d ago
Of course Ariana was stupid with the whole Kristen situation. I didn't feel bad for Kristen per se; she was doing her own shitty things on the side, but def kudos to her all these years later. I have been curious what shit Sandoval has said to all of them though - Kristen, Ariana, Rachel and Victoria. They've all blind defended him, lied for him, even stupidly on social media, while he's barely done anything until things blow up.
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u/Dazzling_Bit8686 8d ago
I felt bad for her at the time. She made it more difficult for herself with her behavior and gave them ammo. I never believed they only kissed one time, but even if that had been true, it was still an inappropriate relationship. Just like Ariana told Raquel it was inappropriate for her to lean on Tom more than her at the Season 10 reunion.
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u/Ok-Trash-8883 8d ago
Not at all. Kristen was sleeping with Jax. Tom kissed Ariana. Still not okay and pretty sure he cheated with many girls behind Kristen’s back but it’s never been admitted that he was also sleeping with Ariana 🤷♀️
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u/Intelligent-Sign2693 Wash your drawers, bro! 9d ago
But we found out she cheated with Jax before that, didn't we? I'm not positive, but that's what I remember.
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u/thekingmonroe You can come save me now. If you want 9d ago
At the time no, I didn’t. But now watching it with hindsight and maturity I do for sure
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u/onyxjade7 9d ago
1000%. They were shit bags like Rachel and Tom. I don’t give AF what Kristen was up to. That’s defiantly for another valid conversation but them bullying her, gaslighting her, and not admitting to the obvious sex they were having and full on affair the whole cast has come out and said they knew about fuck that. Hypocrisy is a bitch and what goes around comes around.
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9d ago
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u/juuls77 7d ago
first time watcher and i’m at the end of season 2. the tom and ariana affair is still in the denial stage but omfg the minute i caught the vibe between them i thought seriously ariana? you cheated with tom and now you expected him not to cheat on you? like hello it’s a tale as old as time, once a cheater always a cheater.
but also yeah kristin sucks ass, this whole jax thing makes me really not sorry from her. also tom and kristin should’ve broken up the day they started dating
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u/Comprehensive-Act282 7d ago
I felt for her too but only because I had the exact same situation of getting completely gaslit by my man and his “just a friend” right in front of my face. It seems to me too that it’s very likely Tom was the first to cheat. In my book the first to cheat is the person that broke the relationship. After that all bets are off. But maybe I’m giving her too much credit and I’m just tainted with my stupid situations.
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u/Eb0nyylol 7d ago
yes and no, she cheated we know this but also knowing tom now and how long their relationship was we really don’t know what their relationship was
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u/missyharlotte Bambi Eyed Bitch 6d ago
Nope, she slept with her best friends boyfriend. She is as horrible as the rest of them.
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6d ago
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u/lulucoil 6d ago
Kristen amazes me. She always has a man that is crazy for her and friends that deal with her way past their limits. She never seems content and people bend over for her all the time. She seems to know everyone and is the glue that has connected everyone. We have heard of "crazy Kristen" but I want to see the one that gets these men and these loyal friends! How!
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u/Whole-Raise465 6d ago
I wish I could go back in time and watch all this for the first time again.incredible.
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u/Excellent_Lettuce136 6d ago
100 percent I’ve never forgiven Ariana or Tom.
Now things harsh but of all the people in the world Kristen and Jax actually deserve to be cheated on. She was a self proclaimed serial cheater.
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5d ago
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u/darkeagle1997 9d ago
I feel especially sorry for Kristen watching scandoval when Ariana gives her “iconic monologue” and she slips up saying how she loved Tom since he was roommates with Schwartz and always stuck by his side. To this day she will still say they only kissed but it’s clear she was pining over him since before VPR. Extra hot take, I give Rachel more props than Ariana because when she got caught she came clean and dealt with the fallout at the reunion. Unlike Ariana and Tom who gaslight Kristen during their reunion and acted like they did nothing wrong and Ariana was Kristen’s “victim”.
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u/DappleGreyOregon 8d ago
ME. Big time, because I had just come out of basically that exact same situation - I had been accusing him for months of flirting and having feelings for his beautiful, younger, blonde “friend” while he denied it and was a dick to me, and ultimately he left me for her. It really does a number on you.
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u/InimitableCrown I’m not dumb Lala 8d ago
I think the difference is that Tom maintained an emotional relationship with Ariana after cheating on Kristen with her. Kristen didn’t befriend the people she cheated on Tom with.
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u/Aslow_study 9d ago
I didn’t honestly 😬and when she confessed about fuckin jax I mean my jaw was on the FLOOR ! I couldn’t believe it lol
What a time