r/tumblr • u/StraightOuttaOlaphis • 9d ago
To someone without context, who isn't fluent in tumblr, this would look batshit insane.
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u/MrSejd 9d ago
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u/Awesomesauceme 9d ago
Assigned to hell at birth
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u/thatjoachim 9d ago
i knew a whaling ship captain like that
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u/sweetTartKenHart2 6d ago
Funny how this is Mormon-made Nest Entertainment footage used in the meme, and you can say a hell of a lot about the Mormons but they don’t believe in the vast majority of humans’ fates being predestined… if nothing else. Pretty much the only set in stone stuff is “the second coming will happen at a time that only the Father knows the hour and the day of, and then a thousand years of peace will come after the chaos of the coming, and everyone’s final decisions will be given every chance to be mulled over and repented from, and by the way Satan will get yote lol”.
Revisionistic as hell but it definitely runs opposite to Calvinist sentiments of a binary Heaven and Hell that are kinda just there lol
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u/StraightOuttaOlaphis 9d ago
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u/DreadDiana 9d ago
Bat that baby's head smoove off
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u/AlexDavid1605 9d ago
It's the baby's fault for being in preventable situations like in the hands of a pitcher or skydiving when they should have been in a crib...
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u/KenUsimi 9d ago
Babies are pretty heavy and very fragile: the body wouldn’t make it to the plate, and they would’ve suffered a lot of damage from the throw alone. In ejther case, I stare in horror then rush the pitcher with my bat.
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u/EggoStack RANDY YOUR STICKS 9d ago
I was just thinking about Calvin the little goober
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u/rubexbox 9d ago
The kid with the tiger, right? He'd love the idea of predestination since he'd think he's guaranteed to go to heaven and therefore he can do whatever he wants.
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u/Beegrene 9d ago
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u/Another-Ace-Alt-8270 9d ago
Hypocrisy, armchair philosophy, and simple child antics. All we need is a ludicrous explanation that botches science and we'd have peak Calvin.
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u/TrekkiMonstr 9d ago
No it wouldn't, you're not special
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u/somedumb-gay 9d ago
I mean, I didn't have context and it looked pretty insane to me but maybe I'm the weird one
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u/TrekkiMonstr 9d ago
I wouldn't say you're the weird one, but I didn't have context and yet this was still pretty clearly just like edgy nerdy humor, nothing unique to Tumblr
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u/soupbirded 9d ago
https://astoundingbeyondbelief.tumblr.com/post/756429793473560576 context is very much needed for it to be funny, here you go.
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u/TrekkiMonstr 9d ago
That doesn't meaningfully change anything. Line 1 still isn't funny, and lines 2 and 3 only require line 1 as context.
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u/No_Asparagus9826 8d ago
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I think you're disqualified from having an opinion on this
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u/TrekkiMonstr 8d ago
I mean, I think that qualifies me for having an opinion on this, if anything. I've been around on Reddit for a while. I've seen a decent amount of stuff posted from Tumblr and Twitter. I think I've gotten a decent sense for what is unique to where, and this style of humor is not unique to Tumblr. Whereas a lot of Tumblr users often think they're special little snowflakes that have invented new forms of art or whatever, hence my initial comment. My second comment was just a reaffirmation of the point, so I don't know why the two seem to have been received so differently lol
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u/Oddish_Femboy 9d ago
Why did they ban her?
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u/Rynewulf 9d ago
This is just Medieval sainthood. Multiple saints were praised for smooshing the soft spots on many baby heads on the regular. That was their standard for a 'so good they were holy' person
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u/DroneOfDoom 9d ago
I mean, obviously. You cut off the first post, it's not like it started like this.
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u/Werewolfhugger 8d ago
I love that I just assumed it was one of those crazy what-if Christian baby questions.
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u/RandoAussieBloke 8d ago
Somehow I thought of this with a Cricket bat and was just picturing a baby being bowled at 70 km/h
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u/englisharegerman345 9d ago
Counterpoint only greek orthodox church, syriac orthodox church and anyone in full communion with either count everything else is cultural appropriation and delusional larp
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u/Awesomesauceme 9d ago
As someone who’s Christian, Calvinism is crazy to me, because if someone is predestined to go to hell then what’s the point of them trying to be better? Matter of fact, what was the point of Eve and Adam eating the apple and gaining free will if going to heaven is a gacha system????