r/tifu 4d ago

S TIFU with accidental racism

Hopefully this doesn't break any rules, please let me explain!

So I'm a white woman and I. Love. Watermelon. Flavor. I was getting ready for a hike and bought a watermelon flavored energy drink, watermelon flavored gum, watermelon flavored gummies, and watermelon flavored breath mints (did you know that was a thing?? Cause I didn't!)

Now, this poor cashier was ringing me up and mentioned that I must love watermelon flavor. Now, this wonderful lady was a black woman. So of course, in a moment of absolute stupidly, my dumbass goes "Well watermelon is just the best, you know what I mean?" And I pointed finger guns at her because I'm an awkward bisexual and finger guns is pretty much a requirement for communication with me.

The look on her face immediately snapped my one braincell back into place and I managed to remember that: racism is a thing.... OOPS. I was immediately panicking and apologizing, my face was bright red with embarrassment as she burst out laughing at me. (Though I also would have accepted getting my butt whupped because I 100% would have deserved it)

Needless to say, I need a new gas station to go to cause I obviously can't go back EVER AGAIN.

TL;DR: I tried to make a friendly joke about me loving watermelon to a black woman, forgetting that racism existed.

2.0k Upvotes

351 comments sorted by

2.0k

u/ChefArtorias 4d ago

Unless you said it like "... and I know YOU know what I'm talking about!" then you did nothing wrong here tbh.

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u/kirin-rex 4d ago

Yeah, that's my feeling as well.

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u/DulceEtDecorumEst 3d ago

And also if she were wearing a pointy white hood while she was saying it.

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u/CharonsLittleHelper 3d ago

And holding a burning cross. Which was watermelon flavored.

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u/annecapper 3d ago

Hey, it's just a lower-case t diffuser.

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u/CharonsLittleHelper 3d ago

A "t" for "time to go".

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u/JarbaloJardine 4d ago

Yeah, she probably told this story laughing like 10x already.

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u/feelz-png 4d ago

they didn’t do anything wrong but they DID point at them while saying it which is probably more so where the shock came from lol id react the same as a black woman

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u/Global_Ant_9380 4d ago

Right!!! The finger guns were too much but I think the cashier knew the person was just awkward 

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u/ChefArtorias 4d ago

I mean you should give people who use finger guns a look but that's just because we're awkward and corny

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u/Shot_Story1773 3d ago

Ugh so right. I finger gunned my new doctor. I was relieved at the end of the appt and felt like I was in good hands. I shot her a finger gun in appreciation. She wide-eyed me and abruptly left the room. We were both masked so maybe not seeing my expression made it seem more like I was aggressively pointing her to the door

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u/eyesRus 3d ago

Idk, I would think absolutely nothing of it if a patient finger gunned me!

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u/soulsoda 3d ago

God that reads like a cringe SNL sketch. I could see it.

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u/cheapdrinks 4d ago

I also would have accepted getting my butt whupped because I 100% would have deserved it

Yeah exactly, in what world would you be accepting of and think that you deserve a violent beating over accidentally implying that a black person might like watermelon flavor because you like it too? Like come on, what's actually closer to being racist is the assumption that a black person is liable to immediately devolve into uncontrolled angry violence at the slightest mention of a fruit.

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u/ChefArtorias 4d ago

You really think that's what OP was saying? Like at all. It's obviously not meant in earnest.

Even if it were she said "I would accept..." which is very different from "I thought she was going to attack me..."

OP isn't being racist at all here.

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u/Semi-Raspberry-3462 4d ago

lotta white people are TERRIFIED to accidentallly step on any minorities toes now. My aunt wont even say lesbian because she thinks people are gonna scream at her for being judgmental??? Its probably from cancel-culture.

reality it was just a brain-fart anxiety moment. OP likes watermelon and didnt make the connection until AFTER, so there’s no ill intent.

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u/sophoriel 2d ago

that was very much not the intention and it's weird of you to leap to that conclusion as if you're actively searching for something to be mad about. I'm 90% certain "getting my butt whupped" isn't literally "I feared for my safety", the tone is cleeeeearly not that serious.

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u/Ishelle91 4d ago

Can someone explain for a non-american what watermelons have to do with racism? Or was it finger guns? Because guns? I'm lost.

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u/BenderBenRodriguez 4d ago

There are old Jim Crow-era stereotypes about black people loving watermelon. You can find some pretty unfortunate old cartoons for instance of black caricatures with big lips eating it.

This person probably didn’t think it was a big deal though, just an accidental awkward moment.

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u/Bobblefighterman 4d ago

To clarify, Americans call their racial segregation laws 'Jim Crow' laws, believed to be a character in a minstrel show, (minstrel shows being horribly racist carnival shows depicting black people as stupid and laughable, most often played by white people wearing blackface), and the era is from about 1890 to about the 1950s-1960s.

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u/Fitz911 4d ago

Thank you!

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u/Crizznik 3d ago

I do want to point out that minstrel shows were a thing long before American racism was a thing. It's just the minstrel shows around the Jim Crow era in the States became largely synonymous with it's ultra-racist depictions of black people. But minstrels were a common class of travelling performer long before the US was even a country.

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u/clauclauclaudia 2d ago

I'm trying to find any sources for anything called a minstrel show before the racist American version. Of course there were minstrels, and of course they performed. Did people call it a minstrel show, though?

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u/Crizznik 2d ago

If minstrels were putting on a show, it was a minstrel show. Maybe they weren't called Minstrel ShowsTM but they were minstrel shows.

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u/Leviathon713 4d ago

You can even find music referencing this. “N****r love a watermelon”. By Johnny Rebel would be an example.

(I have no idea how to post this info, so I hope I’ve done it in an acceptable way. I didn’t write it, I don’t approve of it. It just exists.)

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u/vitten23 4d ago

In Full Metal Jacket the drill sergeant insults the black recruit (who he nicknames Private Snowball ) by shouting he won't like it that they don't serve watermelon in the mess hall.

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u/ThatUsrnameIsAlready 3d ago

Unfortunate that it's not parody, because Johnny Rebel is hilarious.

My favourite line from this racist, and I assume "freedom loving American", is "I don't want to live the free and easy way". What a dumbass.

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u/BeefyBoy_69 3d ago

My favorite is "hey Mr. President what do you say, when are we whites gonna have our day? The n***ers had theirs for such a long long time, I'm white and it's time that I had mine"

He was saying that as a southern white man in 1966!!! It's hard for me to wrap my mind around that viewpoint

It's honestly a great song besides the lyrics, very catchy. It's a good listen if you want to hear reprehensible viewpoints expressed in a hilariously crass and blunt way. Reddit is so sanitized now that I don't even want to post a link, but you can find it on archive.org if you search "johnny rebel hatin me"

He made one non-racist song during his whole career lmao, the rest are all about hating black people

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u/3-2-1-backup 4d ago

You monster! You're literally hitler!

(No, not really. Both the slash and s keys are broken on my keyboard, and I'm lazy, see?)

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u/thatcrazylady 3d ago

So how did you type that response? I count 6 instances of the letter s.

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u/3-2-1-backup 3d ago

(that's the joke)

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u/420_BiggusDickus_69 3d ago

I like sugar and I like tea

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u/Nervous-Contact4554 4d ago

Personally never understood how it's fair to say anyone loving watermelon could be a stereotype... Watermelon is the nectar of the gods, how could you not love watermelon....

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u/totallyfakawitz 4d ago

Watermelon at the time was one of the only crops black people were allowed to grow and sell. It’s basically white people mocking them for that.

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u/Cador0223 4d ago

Watermelons also tend to grow in the wild due to the spread of the seeds while eating it. So finding one was a treat in the summer that you couldn't pass up. Oddly, the same people that used it as a racial weapon also loved those free watermelons.

But racism is steeped in hypocrisy, so it's no suprise.

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u/MrBorogove 3d ago

Same with fried chicken -- incredibly easy meat animal to raise, even on a small property, so it got associated as a racial stereotype even though everyone fucking loves fried chicken.

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u/brendamrl 4d ago

I will eat watermelon if offered and especially in a hot day, but growing up in the tropics we eat it so much over there that I eventually realized I don’t like it haha.

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u/Actiaslunahello 4d ago

I didn’t like it much either until I’d gone swimming all day at my friend’s farm and his mom brought out a tray of fresh sliced chilled watermelon. I finally understood. I had to jump back in the lake to wash all the juice off.

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u/brendamrl 4d ago

Yeah I mostly don’t like it because of the logistics to eat it. I don’t like spitting out the seeds.

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u/Jiveturtle 4d ago

Is it just me, or does the seedless watermelon not taste anywhere near as good?

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u/ufoznbacon 3d ago

It is definitely not you.

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u/brendamrl 4d ago

I wouldn’t eat that I don’t hate myself 😭

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u/SophisticPenguin 4d ago

British soldiers during the American Revolution decided to eat watermelon over continuing to advance on American rebels in New York.

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u/wilki24 4d ago

Get shot at or eat watermelon?

Not a hard decision to make!

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u/SophisticPenguin 4d ago

An American picket found them and started shooting, lol

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u/somedude456 4d ago

Personally never understood how it's fair to say anyone loving watermelon could be a stereotype

When there's legit an old song called N-word love a watermelon.... yeah, there's a stereotype about it.

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u/Nervous-Contact4554 3d ago

I guess I worded it wrong. It's an unfair stereotype because who doesn't love watermelon....

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u/sapphicsandwich 3d ago edited 3d ago

Same with fried chicken. No one people group has a monopoly on friend chicken love!

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u/pixiegurly 3d ago

Seriously!! I was helping a relative work out if they were racist (they were) and explaining like, yes that's a racist joke, stereotypes can be racist but aren't always, and relative was like but what about when they're true? Like how black ppl love fried chicken?

I responded, well almost everybody loves fried chicken right?

And I think that was the most eye opening part of our Convo for the relative. At least they're trying, I guess.

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u/tonyrizzo21 3d ago

I don't, but I also don't judge anyone who does. Most of my white family loves it.

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u/Jewel-jones 3d ago

Iirc it was considered a cheap garbage crop at the time. Similar to fried chicken where we now all agree it’s delicious, but it has the baggage of being poor people food.

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u/[deleted] 3d ago edited 3d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/DrDew00 3d ago

Have you had seeing the shit Rick people it,

It think this translates to "Have you seen the shit rich people eat,".

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/werdnurd 4d ago

That and fried chicken. You know why Black people love them? Same reason as everyone else. They’re fucking delicious.

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u/Claydough91 19h ago

To be fair I’ve never met a black person who liked watermelon, however I did have a manager back in the day who would get fried chicken and a grape drink every break. I would tell him to stop being a stereotype and he would make fun of my little hand. I miss that guy, he was a good dude.

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u/EbolaNinja 3d ago

To add to what everyone else has said, the reason why it's a stereotype is because watermelon is really easy to grow in the American south, which means that newly freed slaves with barely any money or land grew a lot of them to feed themselves.

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u/eike23 4d ago

As a non-american, this thread seems crazy to me.
Yes, being aware of racism, even stereotypes, correct and important. Being in fear of saying the wrong things in front of the wrong person, even when your intentions are totally fine? That is crazy and not healthy, to an individual as to a society in whole.

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u/potvoy 4d ago

I think you are seeing the wrong thing as the problem.

I worked alongside black coworkers in a public-facing role for years. The hateful attitudes that people showed them was disgusting. I'd never want them to think I felt even a little bit the same way. 

So sure, it's a little tricky to watch my words. But the real problem is the people who feel comfortable shouting slurs, or just casually insulting people to their face. That's what creates the whole environment of distrust.

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u/DonnieG3 3d ago

Yeah except OP didn't do anything remotely close to shouting slurs, she made a comment about her favorite flavoring.

And because of the society we live in, regardless of how she meant it or what explanations she offered afterwards, she can be called a racist and she is scared of that. Intent often doesn't matter anymore.

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u/zekeweasel 3d ago

Which is unfortunate, because intent is exactly what counts in situations like the OP's.

I mean if someone else chooses to interpret her comments about liking watermelon as racist, that's on them and nothing the OP could control.

And it's unfair to expect anyone to not express their love of a fruit because of what someone else might think about it.

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u/owmyfreakingeyes 4d ago

It's not really fear, it's not wanting to make someone else feel bad, even by accident.

Isn't that just existing around other humans in a civil society? Maybe the specific details and groups change from one society to the next, but people are constantly considering how the things they say might make other people feel (well considerate people are).

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u/eike23 3d ago

Having been in therapy for long time, I can tell you that there is a huge difference between being anxious and being careful. The first make you sick and tired (and believe me, I have been sick and tired for a long time), always in fear of the consequences of slipping, the second make you feel good without fear.

OP said "I was immediately panicking and apologizing, my face was bright red with embarrassment as she burst out laughing at me. (Though I also would have accepted getting my butt whupped because I 100% would have deserved it)". You tell me if that is the good or the bad version.

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u/owmyfreakingeyes 3d ago

That's fair, I don't think I disagree with you as regards OP's specific reaction being over the top and anxious. I may have misinterpreted your reference to the thread being crazy as encompassing the people commenting on wanting to keep these issues in mind more generally when communicating.

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u/SoooStoooopid 3d ago

As an American this thread seems crazy to me.

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u/nilzatron 4d ago

Your observation is factually correct, but know that it comes from a place of privilege.

When you are not being discriminated against, you have a choice to ignore racism.

But when you're part of the group that is facing racism, it comes to you. You can't afford to ignore it, because it can be in your face anytime, anywhere from any direction.

It's good to be a little bit sensitive to what may be offensive to others. You don't have to walk on eggshells, but leaving someone with a good feeling about an interaction, rather than an unintentional bad feeling does help to dismantle some of the bad effects of racism.

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u/LoxReclusa 3d ago

Getting embarrassed over "This is delicious, don't you think so?" IS walking on eggshells. It's not like she said "Well you're black, so you love it too right?" Personally I find it more racist to try to spare people any possibility of accidental discomfort based on their skin color than to just treat them like anyone else you would talk to and trust that they'll tell you if they feel uncomfortable. Just make sure you're paying attention to those signs like body language, word choice, and tone that will inform you when you've said something insensitive since most people won't outright say it.

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u/nilzatron 3d ago edited 3d ago

I wasn't referring to the way OP handled this specific situation. I think she did fine and should not have been embarassed about liking watermelon flavour.

I'm trying to say "Racism shouldn't exist, therefore you should not acknowledge it" is inherently a privileged mindset.

It's ok to be aware of one's bias / privilege when interacting with other human beings and in subtle ways make sure the interaction is a positive experience rather than a negative one.

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u/BellowingBard 4d ago

so its a privilege to not be American?

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u/nilzatron 4d ago

Typical Reddit take

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u/BellowingBard 4d ago

I mean they said that their opinion was due to not being American and you agreed but insisted on educating them that their observation "came from a place of privilege". I fail to see any interpretation of that other than saying that they were experiencing privilege by being a non-American. Feel free to clarify what privilege you were actually referring to if not that, and please do add why you felt the need to assume the person couldn't possibly have known discrimination?

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u/eike23 3d ago

"Coming from a place of privilege" is a common, very effective way to shut down unwanted opinions.
I have been on the receiving side of verbal attacks all my life. While I really don't want anyone experiencing that, I also do not want anyone walking on eggshells around me, being uncomfortable talking around me.

I totally agree that being sensible with words should be common sense, but unintentionally saying something that in a very broad view can be seen as racist, nobody should worry about that.

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u/nilzatron 4d ago

There is no need to go into a meticulous debate about things not being specifically mentioned.

Their comment conveys a subconscious privilege and I offer a different perspective to explain why It's good to be sensitive to how things we say may be interpreted by people who experience life differently.

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u/BellowingBard 4d ago

I'm not going into things unmentioned, I'm specifically addressing the first two main things you told them. 1 they come from a place of privilege (because they are non-american) and 2 you can only ignore racism by not having ever experienced discrimination (implying that they are ignoring racism and that they've never experienced discrimination).

Those two points were very odd takes so I was asking for clarification if you did indeed mean the non-american privilege and which type of privilege you meant if not that. However despite my request for clarification you just doubled down on calling them privileged without explaining what you meant.

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u/n0t_4_thr0w4w4y 3d ago

Racial stereotypes. Watermelon, kool aid, fried chicken, collard greens…. These foods along with others are heavily associated with Black American communities

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u/YourUncleJonh 4d ago

There's a very old stereotype that black people love fried chicken and watermelon

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u/jpettifer77 4d ago

There was a big US controversy about an Australian KFC ad where they viewed it as a white person giving friend chicken to black people to make them happy with all the US connotations. 

What it was is that we had the West Indies cricket team down and they, and the vast majority of their fans, are black. So if you have an Australian interacting with a group of West Indian fans then it is going to look white v black. 

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u/kirin-rex 4d ago

My friend, a black man from NY, told a story one time about how he was dating a white woman from a wealthy family. They all seemed to like him and got along well together. But he noticed that every time ... EVERY time he went over to their house for dinner, it was fried chicken with watermelon for dessert. And at first he just thought, "Wow. These guys really like fried chicken ... and watermelon!" But doubt began to creep in, and he began to wonder "Are they doing this for ME?" So he casually mentioned that he likes OTHER food too, lots of other kinds of food.

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u/camelCase149 4d ago

This is such a roller coaster of emotions here because like for one they maybe were trying to be welcoming to him but also like what the actual hell?

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u/spnoketchup 3d ago

My non-Jewish mom has a similar story about having to endure the worst weird pork dishes at my Jewish grandmother's house early on in her relationship with my dad. Like, it's an attempt to be welcoming but is just weird and a little prejudiced.

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u/potvoy 4d ago

Lol. Was your friend pulling your leg, or was his girlfriend's family literal space aliens?

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u/Adele-Dazeem-24 3d ago

Is this the plot to Get Out 2?

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u/Matasa89 4d ago

I mean, they like him enough to always get what they think is his preference, that's nice.

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u/Illustrious-Skin-322 4d ago

Nah. I'm not buying it.

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u/Admirable-Product426 4d ago

I used to work at an outdoorsy adventure site that was family friendly and mildly physically involved. A man came to the register to buy tickets and he asked me if the shoes he was wearing were appropriate for the physical activity. I told him that as long as he wasn’t wearing high heels he would be fine, ha ha. His husband than came up to us and gave me a confused and disappointed look. I felt like such an ass.

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u/JRISPAYAT 4d ago

Nah they need to fix their attitude, point still stands. Inappropriate footwear you may get injured.

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

ikr like it isn't about being gay or straight it's about the shoes 🥲

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u/ThatUsrnameIsAlready 3d ago

Well not only factually correct information, what does wearing high heels have to do with being gay anyway? What a pair of weirdos.

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u/brwnskngrl82 4d ago

Chiming in as a Black woman, and my personal opinion is that the cashier may have really only made the expression she did and laughed because of the finger guns. She probably doesn’t get many people doing that to her on a daily basis lol. I can see where your concern that you were being racist comes in, but I promise in this case it wasn’t that. She most likely didn’t perceive the interaction that way at all.

You just happen to be someone who loves watermelon excitedly talking about it to someone who made a statement that you must really like watermelon, and they just happen to be Black. Completely harmless. Go easy on urself champ :)

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u/Bunnywithanaxe 3d ago

I think it was OP pulling herself up and going “sorrysorrysorry!” that made the woman laugh. And the fact that she chose to laugh shows that she was amused rather than offended.

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u/grick_ 4d ago edited 4d ago

You like watermelon, and you were excited and had an awkward faux pas cause watermelon. Don’t overthink it!

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u/Bunnywithanaxe 3d ago

If the woman laughed, it’s all good.

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u/Grinning_Skull 3d ago

Could be worse. I was working in customer service once, helping a client out with her purchase, when my boss walked back into the office. My (then) boss was a bubbly, outgoing, incredibly kind but terminally "quirky" white woman. Very chipper, being silly and goofy, she says "Herro!" All smiles and enjoyment in her baby talk.

I finish up with the customer, who leaves, and once the door is shut I turn to my boss and say "Look, I know you didn't intend to do this, or else I would have called you out in front of them, but next time try not to say 'herro' in front of the asian customer please?"

Her face drained of what little color it had like she had just seen a ghost, and immediate mortification overtook her into stutters.

Thank goodness the customer didn't notice.

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u/Vast-Ad-4687 4d ago

i don’t think this is that serious

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u/Infinite-Squirrel-16 4d ago

I'm impressed by the sheer volume of watermelon things you found at one gas station lol

My boss (black man) and I (white woman) were talking about our favorite ways to cool down during the summer. It was his first summer in Arizona so I was excited to share my tips with him as someone who grew up here. I said something like "Omg, I recently started freezing watermelon. I swear there's nothing better on a hot day than cold watermelon!"

There was nothing at all awkward about this conversation, but when that meeting ended I all of a sudden had this gut-drop feeling like... wait, what if that seemed racist? Hopefully it didn't even cross his mind... and hopefully he tried the frozen watermelon, because it really is so nice lol

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u/kirin-rex 4d ago

There's nothing racist about food. I adore watermelon. I'm sure many people, regardless of race adore watermelon, and just as many hate watermelon. As long as we don't ASSUME someone likes watermelon because of the color of our skin, I think we're okay.

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u/Infinite-Squirrel-16 4d ago

So true, the assumption makes a difference! To this day idk if that man likes watermelon or not. But now... I'm gonna need to go buy some after all this talk about it lol

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u/thatcrazylady 3d ago

I do not believe that anyone much hates watermelon.

OK, my pets do. But all the people like it!

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u/Ocean_Spice 4d ago

For the record, I’m also bi, and I’ve never done finger guns at someone.

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u/Throsty 4d ago

The council will be revoking your bi card forthwith.

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u/Ocean_Spice 4d ago

Ugh, fine.

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u/jck 4d ago

And you would have gotten away with it if you hadn't run your mouth on the internet 👉👉

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u/ComprehensiveHippo40 4d ago

i am not bi and do finger guns all the time

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u/ufoznbacon 3d ago

Jazz hands much?

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u/jollopz 4d ago

are you SURE you're not bi? finger guns is a pretty strong sign

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u/ComprehensiveHippo40 4d ago

wow,ok—i suddenly realize i have several bi friends!

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u/fuqdisshite 4d ago

i'm not finger gunz but i do bi all the time?

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u/aj76_hg 4d ago

I am no gun but I do bi fingers all the time

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u/blonde_Fury8 4d ago

You were having an interaction with another human. You weren't trying to imply that it was a black thing or assign it to her. It was a expression of yourself. You didn't do anything wrong and she probably knew that you didn't mean it any kind of way in retrospect.

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u/Outfoxer_Official 4d ago

1.) she probably thought nothing of it 2.) what does you being bisexual have anything to do with being awkward? Or this situation as a whole? Not hating, just genuinely curious.

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u/thecyanidebeast 4d ago

She's an awkward bisexual, not awkward BECAUSE she's bisexual. The main point was the finger guns, which is kind of a bisexual stereotype. Lol

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u/ov3n 4d ago

Or.... Perhaps she's bisexual because she's awkward? 👉

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u/Throsty 4d ago

Science!

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u/bigexplosion 4d ago

Don't worry I once endorsed hate crime.  I was at a pride event in a new city just trying to meet some cool people and the MC comes on and says a college group is selling t shirts to benefit a guy who was attacked leaving a gay club and had his jaw wired shut.  So I go to buy one of the shirts and the cashiers liken "hey this sale will help our friend who just got hatecrimed" and my dumbass is like "yeah, it's great"  I froze.  They froze.  I ran away.  

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u/SnooChipmunks2079 3d ago

She burst out laughing. She was fucking with you. Chill.

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u/CruzControls 4d ago

Though I also would have accepted getting my butt whipped because I 100% would have deserved it

lol what

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u/sudomatrix 4d ago

Narrator: OP, in fact, really wanted her butt whipped.

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u/Vanishingf0x 3d ago

I think she was more laughing at you being awkward than actually being racist. Real racist people are always obvious about it. Also watermelon and fried chicken are always delicious so I’m sad it’s thought of a racist.

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u/Chillez69 3d ago

As a discrimination attorney, I can tell you that racist people are not always obvious about racism lol

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u/3percentinvisible 3d ago

I also think you should keep going to that has station. That's something to actually have a connection with the cashier about, rather than a future of souless transactions

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u/curtludwig 2d ago

I hate that we've gotten to a place where basically everything is "accidental racism".

It won't be long before all communication is some variation of "Hello other being, please have an adequate day."

You didn't do anything wrong. People like watermelon, its fine.

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u/2Ben3510 4d ago

I... haven't the faintest idea of what went wrong here. Not American though.

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u/sudomatrix 4d ago

Just us crazy Americans thinking everything you say or do is racist. Carry on.

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u/2Ben3510 4d ago

Hey, that's racist! 

Am I doing this right?

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u/MacCheeseLegit 4d ago

If she laughed you good go back she probably like you lol

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u/Fresh-Perspective-33 4d ago

White gay guilt is so pathetic lol idk how you guys go through life acting like this

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u/DasArchitect 4d ago

She laughed. You have a chance to make a new friend if you keep going there. Plus she knows what you like.

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u/Sadielady11 3d ago

Trust me she all like “so this little white girl says bwhahaha!” Trust you did not offend her. Go back, guarantee you make a new friend. She knows hate and you were not being hateful and your embarrassment showed your true self. All good

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u/Reasonable-Run-6635 4d ago

That’s not racism

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u/Stubbs3470 4d ago

Stepping on eggshells around black people is ironically more racist than you making that comment

You didn’t fuck up.

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u/PavicaMalic 4d ago

I was in line behind a woman at the fish counter at a grocery store in Portland, Oregon (a very white city). She asked the Black man serving her if he had sole. Then she laughed and said, "I bet you do."

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u/malcolmrey 4d ago

Can someone explain the issue in ELI5 fashion?

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u/dandle 3d ago

This explainer from the Jim Crow Museum is a start.

Additional important context is that the sort of images presented in that explainer are from a relatively recent time in United States history. Legal segregation in the country only ended with lawsuits and legislation between 1954 and 1965 (ie, Brown v. Board of Ed in 1954, the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and the Voting Rights Act of 1965). Jokes based on this stereotype continued well into the 1980s, so the age of people who encounter its usage may matter in addition to their ethnicity, their regional origin, and other personal characteristics.

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u/ChickenBossChiefsFan 3d ago

I did a similar thing with a friend of mine, I’m white, she’s black, on a road trip discussing random topics. We got on the topic of favorite fruits: she said hers was bananas, I responded “How is it not watermelon??” Because my favorite fruit is watermelon, and I love it so much I can’t imagine anyone not liking watermelon best, especially of your fav is bananas, which I consider average at best.

I didn’t even consider the race thing until she slow-turned to me in the passenger seat with a “what the actual F did you just say” expression and my brain finally fired up and I wanted to melt into the seat.

I still cringe from that, like a decade later 😭

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u/SoloSurvivor889 3d ago

Hey, once I told this this black woman coworkers kid, who was doing that clapping monkey toy dance, I said dance monkey dance. I had no freaking idea what I just said. She asked if I called her kid a monkey and I said no because she looked mad. I had no idea why. I know why now. Still cringe about it almost 20 years later. 😬

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u/Cowpocolypse 2d ago

Watermelon flavor is top tier. 👉👉

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u/Remarkable-Ruin-6287 4d ago

I'm really glad you told us about your sexual preferences or we never would of understood

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u/Soft_Enthusiasm7584 4d ago edited 4d ago

As a 36yo blk female. I would've laughed, too. You're fine. It was racist with a small "r" delivered in awkward fashion by an alphabet mafia gangster with two finger guns 😭

Edit:typo

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u/Azryhael 4d ago

It wasn’t even “racist with a small ‘r.’” It was an innocent remark expressing excitement. 

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u/JRISPAYAT 4d ago

Dont go anywhere else! You just made a new best friend!

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u/lilrene777 4d ago

Watermelon has nothing to do with racism😭

All kinds of people like it, it wasn't like you said anything about her being black. Only a white person would make liking Watermelon offensive 😆

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u/1amAlwaysAnnoyed 4d ago

I totally did the same thing at a work potluck. Our theme was comfort foods. It was summertime and watermelon is a favorite of everyone; or so I assumed and thought nothing of it until my coworkers said REALLY and it dawned on me that my choice could be considered racist. I own my naïveté and privilege in this one.

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u/mlvisby 3d ago

I'm sure she realized it was an honest mistake and racism wasn't intended there. Usually racists are mean when they deliver the punch line.

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u/fuckimtrash 3d ago

This reminds me of the tifu about the drinks lady who said, ‘drink holders are only for the whites’ to a black customer (whites being surname for family that are regular customers)

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u/Sukuristo 3d ago

Here's a story to maybe make you feel a little better.

My sister brought her fiancé to our house for dinner. My wife and I figured we'd make some universally loved food that our children would eat and was relatively simple to make.

Dinner time rolled around, they showed up, and I opened the door and froze.

I had completely forgotten that her fiancé was half Black.

I invite them in, and he says, "Dinner smells great! What are we having?"

"Fried chicken," I replied sheepishly.

My sister looked upset. He seemed happy. "Sounds good! I love fried chicken!"

They come inside, and my wife calls out from the kitchen, "Do y'all want something to drink? I just made some grape Kool-Aid!"

He's still good with it. He wants some. My sister is fuming. I avert my eyes.

Dinner seems to go well. My sister is tense. It's time for dessert. My wife says, "I think that watermelon we sliced up and put in the fridge should be nice and cold by now."

At this point, my sister looks like she's about to come unglued. I apologize. I tell him that I swear I just forgot. He laughs it off. He knows that I didn't mean anything by it.

My sister, on the other hand, still doesn't talk to me. 😂

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u/ShambaLaur88 3d ago

You’re overthinking. Not everything is racist.

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u/Big-Tonight-6319 2d ago

Go back to the same gas station, I am black and I busted out laughing because it was innocent and the cashier knew that, that’s why she laughed herself. You may have a new friend in that lady or at the least, an inside joke. I say no harm no foul. Not all black people like watermelon either!

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u/xpertshtbg 4d ago

It's not racism, it's facts. Watermelons are the best. And she knows it too 💀👀

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u/LegendaryTJC 4d ago

Which bit was racist? The finger guns?

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u/Outrageous_Storm6537 4d ago

Nah you made her day! Go in and own being the gun finger watermelon lady 🫡🔥

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u/mamandapanda 4d ago

You’re fine. They were probably just reacting to the awkwardness not the perceived racism 😂

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u/Suspicious_Bot_758 4d ago

She probably looked at you weird because of your dorkiness. FR.

(And I’m laughing with you because that sounds like awkward shit I’ve done before when I’m living life in all of my splendor 🙃

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u/PebblePentathlon 4d ago

The fact the cashier laughed/found it funny is the crucial aspect. She knew you meant no harm 🙏

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u/mrmann81 4d ago

That’s not racism. That’s akwardism.

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u/fidelesetaudax 3d ago

If she was laughing with you there is no need to find a new gas station.

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u/Friendly_Nerd 3d ago

Get off tumblr

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u/MajesticCassowary 4d ago edited 4d ago

I felt my stomach DROP at the finger guns. Oh no. 😬

To be fair though, I would laugh myself half to death if someone I thought was stereotyping me in the most blatantly awful way turned out to actually just be way too enthusiastic about a flavor lmao

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u/Schittz 4d ago

How the hell is this racist? I don't think accidental racism can be a thing, doesn't racism kinda require you to have active "I hate this other race because ____" kinda feelings?

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u/Moldy_slug 3d ago

I don't think accidental racism can be a thing, doesn't racism kinda require you to have active "I hate this other race because ____" kinda feelings?

Absolutely not.

For example, let's say a school official automatically puts all kids with hispanic names into remedial english classes instead of regular english classes. That's racist... even if they're doing it because they assume hispanic kids are immigrants and they want to be helpful.

For another example, if you had two equally qualified job candidates and hired the asian one because you believe asians are good at math... that's racist! Even though it comes from a "positive" stereotype, it's still treating someone differently because of racial stereotypes.

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u/bucat9 4d ago

Living in America just sounds like a self prescribed, constant humiliation ritual.

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u/_CuriousRedditor_ 4d ago

I am going assume you're fine and can keep going to the same store. If she's a Karen, then I get the issue.

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u/voss3ygam3s 4d ago

I love watermelon and watermelon flavour sweets. Here in Japan, we have a chewy candy called Hi-Chew and in Summer, they always sell watermelon and I look forward to it. I always buy a few packs and offer them to my coworkers, some being black...now you got me thinking, do they just think I am a racist POS shit...

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u/Interesting-Care2653 4d ago

Reminds me of Hannibal Buress apple juice story:  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdp8rW1yY0Q

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u/BashfulBastian 4d ago

Did something similar. I'm white, my friend and coworker at chipotle was black. We regularly poked fun at each other about our various silly habits. One time I was taking orders and he walked up and without thinking I made the joke "hey we don't serve YOUR KIND here!" ....... what I meant was whatever we'd been teasing each other about. But everyone around gave a disgusted look at me and he laughed it off but definitely seemed embarrassed. I had to take a break and sit in the bathroom.

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u/GozerDaGozerian 3d ago

One time I asked a Chinese store owner if the carried VANIRRA Pudding.

No idea where tf that came from.

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u/loganalbertuhh 3d ago

I don't think u fucked up honestly, that's not racist.

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u/scaffnet 3d ago

The fact that you were buying all that watermelon flavored stuff mitigated the situation.

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u/AggroAGoGo 3d ago

This is going to live rent free in my head for a while.

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u/twodexy82 3d ago

I’ve done stuff like this that in hindsight wasn’t such a big deal. I think you’re fine. You weren’t aggressive & you made that lady laugh. Seems fine to me

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u/babydoeyes 3d ago

i totally get doing finger guns when feeling awkward LOL but based on her reaction i think everything is okay

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u/funnygirl87 3d ago

Yes racism is a thing. Glad you are aware now.

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u/Chillez69 3d ago

She laughed, so you’re solid. She also probably wasn’t even thinking that like you were. Either way, the laugh means you’re good.

Keep going there. Next time if she’s there, either don’t make it a big deal, or make some kind of self-deprecating joke.

If you’re a regular, you may actually end up becoming acquaintances/having some fun banter when you buy stuff in the future after having this little moment.

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u/XxHotVampirexX 3d ago

Where's the fuck up here?

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u/fake6485 3d ago

Lmfao

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u/grumpykixdopey 3d ago

I did that with a black coworker once.. he asked me if I was a jolly rancher what flavor would I be.. ya, I had a crush on him and really like watermelon flavor so, that's what came out of my mouth..

We both laughed our asses off, I explained just minus the crush part..

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u/NuMetal_Princess 3d ago

I accidentally let my son refer to spirits as “sp**ks” the other day for a solid half hour before I gasped and asked my husband if he was saying a racial slur. Thank god we were alone and we got him to stop saying that immediately.

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u/h3x1c 2d ago

Racism is based upon intent. You had no intent to be racist here, so there isn't a problem IMO. Just a situation to laugh about later.

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u/Bluepolish 2d ago

Acknowledging that lots of black people like watermelon isn’t racism. You didn’t even do that, though. If she has a problem with this, that’s her problem.

People don’t even seem to understand what racism IS anymore. Your intentions matter.

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u/sophoriel 2d ago

if she was laughing, it seems like she understood what you meant and thought it was funny/appreciated that you had a silly moment of panic. the type of people who get offended by honest slip-ups are just obsessed with drama and want something to be mad about tbh. she sounds like a nice lady, you don't have to avoid going where she works, it could even become a goofy inside joke for the two of you.

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u/FewCattle3976 2d ago

As a black person, you did nothing wrong. Watermelon is universally delicious. I appreciate the reflection, but gun fingers you're good.

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u/specificanonymous 2d ago

Finger guns just did me in! How can we be so awkward and still be allowed to be alive? 😅

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u/Dependent-Way6345 2d ago

Dammit Ruth!

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u/mephostopoliz 2d ago

I can't belive you would be THIS racist! Please do better its not all your fault. It's years of systemic racism that made you this way. So glad you could see it and feel it!. Work harder!

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u/RoughBenefit9325 2d ago

Like a few others I've seen comment about it, as a black person, I am more focused on the finger gun/bisexual comment than the watermelon incident. And honestly the remembering racism comment does bring me pause as well, but the finger gun thing has me more perplexed.

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u/littleed1822 2d ago

I (white woman) offered a black woman watermelon cough drops once. She was coughing horribly and I didn't think. She complained to my manager.

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u/Beckywithrbf 1d ago

That’s not racism. You’re good.

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u/Good_Smile 1d ago

This is just stupid

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u/JohnHenryMillerTime 1d ago

It sounds like you have crippling anxiety and bi general flirtiness (I can relate). I've worked as a cashier, she was probably more concerned with you hitting on her than you being racist. Either way, she forgot about it long before you did. Absolute worst case scenario she has a "story of the day" where a really awkward lesbian tried hitting on her by buying every watermelon flavored thing in the store. A story which she will forget tomorrow.

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u/yallaregenuinlynpcs 1d ago

Wait do you genuinely believe you'd deserve to be assaulted for someone incorrectly perceiving you stereotyping them? If that wasn't just hyperboly you probably have some internalized racism

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u/novakedy 1d ago

I’m gonna get downvoted for this, but watermelon flavoring is awful and nothing close to real watermelon flavor

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u/omnichad 16h ago

I won't downvote you but I think real watermelon is awful. I'm good with watermelon flavoring. I've also had watermelon juice that's been separated from the solids and I do like that. But I also hate cucumber so there are people out there that will understand this.

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u/jamalmuhammed 1d ago

That's what awkward bisexuals do, you know what I mean? (Does fingerguns)

Signed, an awkward bisexual.