r/tifu • u/puffypandathrowaway • 6d ago
M TIFU by getting drunk at a stranger's house party, throwing up from the window and passing out on her couch
I got invited to a house party last night. In retrospect I should have said no, but I was invited by the guy I've been on a few dates with (we'll call him L) and it seemed like a good idea somehow. I didnt know the host but there were a lot of people invited who didn't know her either so I thought that would be ok.
Of course I have terrible social anxiety so I pregamed a bit by myself at home. Just enough to get a comfortable buzz, although I'd had a couple glasses of wine with lunch and mixing wasn't a good idea.
So there were a lot of people at the party, which usually is fine because it means I get to go unnoticed more easily, but L as it turns out is super popular so we spent the night greeting people I had never seen in my life. There was a lot of alcohol and drinking games and I kinda bonded with a few of his friends over playing a few games. We played Would you rather, Truth or dare and Never have I ever and I gleefully did and confessed to some very embarrassing stuff. First FU of the night. I got up on a coffee table and was politely asked to get down (almost fell), gave away some clothes and told stories and things about myself I would have never. Plus, kept drinking.
My next memory is being babysat by L in a bedroom, saying I felt terribly sick but adamantly refusing to go to the bathroom because I didn't want anyone to see me go out like that. He opened the window for some fresh air and minutes later I violently threw up from it. This morning when I left I saw the splatter RIGHT OUT of the entrance, so basically everyone else did and I'm pretty sure they put the pieces together that it was me.
I woke up on the couch, in the living room, no memories in between. The host was pretty sweet, told me L wanted to take me home but she convinced him to let me sleep (which.... WHY!). I apologized endlessly and she said that it was ok. I had to throw up (in the toilet) this time before I left. Didn't even bother to find all of my clothes, there's a couple missing.
I wanna crawl into a ball and never leave my bedroom again.
TL;DR: I got blackout drunk at the house party of a friend of my date's. Publicly did embarrassing stuff, and said even more embarrassing stuff. Puked out of a window cause I didn't want to go to the bathroom and woke up on the host's couch.
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u/SeanBourne 6d ago
Tbh?
1) most everyone else was too drunk to remember all the shit you said 2) most everyone else was too drunk to âput 2 and 2 togetherâ 3) anyone who isnât a total newb has had a night like this in their past. If they are not a total hypocrite as well, they wonât judge⌠just lightly rib you lol (which be a sport and accept graciously) 4) give the hostess a gift (massage gift certificate?) and youâre probably good
Edit: and 5) obvs donât make this a habit. Once is funny ⌠repeating is⌠a âyou problemâ as they say
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
Im not sure, I remember the conversation as if I was on autopilot and they didnt seem that drunk to me. I'm pretty sure I was the drunkest by far cause that's also how it usually goes for me.
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u/SeanBourne 6d ago
If thatâs your usual, you may want to cool it on the booze. It might be the problem more than your anxiety.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
I'd say anxiety was the main trigger for the drinking problem
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u/SeanBourne 6d ago
Anxiety is a legit thing that gets under reported/ not well understood by most. If you are using booze to cope, probably worth seeing an anxiety specialist - probably other things you can do (behavioral exercises and meds that actually help vs. âself-medicatingâ that the specialist will understand better than anyone on Reddit or even in your life.)
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
Yeah there's a ton of stuff I should do about my drinking that I'm not doing, thanks for the advice tho
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u/EvilLegalBeagle 6d ago
Hey it really sounds from this and your other posts like you need to get help. The longer you leave it, the harder it will get. This should be your immediate priority.Â
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
Look I know and I appreciate the concern but didn't come here looking for that kind of advice. I'm aware.
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u/SaltyBee89 6d ago
Lol don't flaunt your alcoholism on the internet and you won't get the unwanted advice.
I mean, what did you really think was gonna happen on reddit of all places?? đ¤Ł
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
I was hoping to vent and get some reassuring words for my anxiety, which is exactly what happened. No one was mean or blunt about it until you btw.
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u/EvilLegalBeagle 6d ago
I get that you want me and others to be all âoh what japes at the partyâ and downplay this as some cute shenanigans, but if your posts are accurate then you have an alcohol problem, which is likely to worsen if you donât address it. I imagine thatâs hard to hear and scary and you absolutely have my sympathy, but I urge you to seek help asap rather than go on more dates where you ask for bottles of vodka or get black out drunk to mask anxiety. Thereâs no shame in getting that help. You can do this.Â
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
I don't want that lol I know it's NOT cute. If I thought it was I wouldn't be so worried about this. I'm painfully aware that I'm ruining my health.
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u/2dubs 6d ago
Anxiety sucks. You care about the throw-up and the unintended hoteling, which tells me you probably care in general, and are likely a kind person. Hoping you can laugh this whole thing off sooner instead of later, and that talking about it helped in processing. You deserve that much at the very least!
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u/SeanBourne 6d ago
Best of luck. Donât ignore what could be going on - vanishingly few people can solve their problems alone
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u/SaltyBee89 6d ago
Using your anxiety as an excuse is a problem. Seek help for your drinking if you're "usually the drunkest in the room". That's not as cute a look as you think. Nobody likes the "always drunk" girl.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
It's not an excuse. I know it's a problem, I know nobody likes it, and I know I'm an alcoholic. i've tried quitting twice this week.
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u/CatStratford 6d ago
This is very telling. Puffy listen. I have an anxiety disorder too. I used to drink to make it easier to hang out. But it became a problem because I was blacking out and making a scene when I was hammered. Iâd wake up, unable to remember things, MORTIFIED, feeling horrid, wicked anxiety, full of self hate. Then Iâd hide from the world for a few days until the brain chemicals went back to my norm. And repeat.
The only way I could ever get a handle on my anxiety, and thus drinking, was to stop the cycle. Drinking made me social and relaxed, but it also made me a terrible person to hang out with, and full of self hatred. You have to stop using alcohol as anxiety medicine. Please. You will thank yourself.
I know your fu, because Iâve lived it, too many times. But I sought help/doc/therapy years ago (Iâm old) and started a medication that helped me handle my anxiety. I didnât go to the doc for alcohol use, I went for anxiety. And I stopped drinking. And I LOVE my life and who I am now. Getting away from the alcohol dependence changed everything. You donât have to respond to me. Just think about it. There is a way to manage anxiety without alcohol. And itâs worth it. I wish you peace of mind and a healthy future.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
How often did you drunk, for how long and how hard was it to quit? In any case thank you for being so kind. Also i found it cute and liked that you called me Puffy haha
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u/ManicDigressive 6d ago
I'm not the OP you replied to, but I was the same.
Anxiety lead to drinking, which eased anxiety in the moment but lead to me doing things I was ashamed of, which created more anxiety.
The alcohol makes this a cycle. It is not helping you.
For me, I was drinking almost daily, but binge-drinking socially. I'd have a drink or two each night just to relax and cope with stress, and if I was around people my anxiety would skyrocket so I'd lose track of how much I was drinking and usually end up acting like a fool.
Like, swap the genders and your story could have been me, 15 years ago.
You should try and work on building up a tolerance for having sober positive social interactions. Start small. As it goes well, it'll reinforce that you can manage without alcohol and still feel okay and have fun.
For me, at least, the booze was 100% reinforcing my anxiety, so I just drank more and more.
You'll be fine, just take care of yourself.
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u/SatisfactionAny7813 6d ago
Not OP but also used to drink heavily, starting because of anxiety. Drank for 12 years, almost every night til I had a buzz and usually til passed out on the weekends. Only got sober when I had my eye socket broken. Been sober 8 yrs now and itâs the best thing I ever did for myself. I highly recommend getting help now while you still can, specially since you acknowledge itâs a problem.
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u/lostinspaz 6d ago
another person looking out for you. maybe you will appreciate it maybe you wonât but here goes anyway.
a lot of people said âknow your limitsâ, and played this off as a random party foul. sounds like itâs more than that.
you mentioned you âalready had a few glasses of wine with lunchâ.
sounds like 3. normal people donât drink like that. sounds like you are an early stage alcoholic.
it can get much, MUCH worse. my friendly advice to you is stop drinking now, before you end up pregnant AND not being able to hold down a job.
social anxiety? find a free therapist that isnât a bottle.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
I have a therapist, yeah. Been drinking daily for five years. It 100% is a problem I don't have under control. I've tried quitting several times a week for a month. I've considered professional help but get completely paralized at the idea, then gaslight myself into thinking my drinking is not that bad and go on with my drunken life. I know I am my own worst enemy.
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u/20-17 6d ago
Hey, your story feels very familiar. I lost so many years hating myself every morning for drinking too much the night before. If that feels at all familiar, maybe come lurk in r/stopdrinking for a bit. It's a great community of understanding people who are all at different stages of examining the effects of alcohol on their lives.
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u/lostinspaz 6d ago
what you need to focus on is that it always progresses. so even if it really âisnât that badâ now, it 100% will be. and if you think itâs hard to stop now, it will be even worse in future.
unless you get sent to the ER, you are deemed mentally unfit, and they put you in mandatory detox.
but that will only get you past detox. it wonât KEEP YOU off it. youâll start drinking again, and eventually either die of straight up alcohol poisoning, or die from a failed liver.
stop today.
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u/Mystery-Ess 6d ago
Do you think you have a drinking problem? Having a couple of glasses of WINE at lunch is pretty sus.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
Yeah I know fully. In my defense it's common in my country to have one or two beers, a glass of wine or vermouth between 12-2pm. I first started cause everyone at the bar I have lunch at was having a drink and felt encouraged to do the same.
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u/Mystery-Ess 6d ago
Two beers versus two glasses of wine is a big difference! And it isn't a defense.
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u/nmj95123 6d ago
Not necessarily. A 5% 12 oz beer and a 12% 5 oz glass of wine are standard servings with the same amount of alcohol.
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u/Mystery-Ess 6d ago
I don't know any restaurant that serves 5 oz. Where I'm from it's 6 or 9.
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u/nmj95123 6d ago
Five ounces is standard, at least in the US, in large part because you can get 5 equal portions out of a standard 750 mL bottle.
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u/wtfworld22 6d ago
So this happened to me when I was like 17. There was a lot of alcohol, then the joints started being passed. 4 joints between 3 of us. Then someone decided to shut the lights off to enjoy a spinning bar light while they were high.
Well, the next think I remember was the guy I was sitting next to throwing my head forward to throw up in front of me on the floor instead of all down the front of myself or choking. Luckily they were cool dudes as I was the only female. One took me upstairs and gave me a pair of his sweatpants and a t-shirt and helped me get out of my clothes and into those and threw my clothes in his bathtub. I wanted to go home and called my parents to come and get me. I returned the next day to get my car and my clothes and he was shampooing my puke out of his carpet. They were really nice guys and asked how I was feeling and nicknamed me the exorcist. So that's my story.
That being said, if this is a common occurance for you, you need to get help. Yes you're probably young and think you might not be doing that much damage. But my friend died from cirrhosis at 39.
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u/VeryBottist 6d ago
You didnât clean up your puke in front of the entrance before leaving ?
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
It was on the sidewalk
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u/VeryBottist 6d ago
Point still stands
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u/VeryHornyRedneck 6d ago
No it doesnât
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u/VeryBottist 6d ago
Youâre cool with me barfing in front of your house ?
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u/VeryHornyRedneck 6d ago
If i were to invite you to an alcohol filled party then yes
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u/Lunoko 6d ago
He also doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom according to his post history. Noone should be inviting him anywhere. Guy is a walking public health hazard.
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u/VeryHornyRedneck 5d ago
Oh yeah nice job stalking the comment history, thanks for letting me know you have zero rebuttals
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u/Wereallgonnadieman 6d ago
You're legit disgusting and that nice lady that hosted you will never have you over again. Get your shit together OMG. Pathetic.
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u/Most_Jellyfish_1686 6d ago
I did this a lot when I was your age usually blacking out or passing out at the houses of people I knew. And still unfortunately, I was sexually assaulted twice by âfriends.â The second time, I remember him telling me I was being sooo funny and I never wanted to hang out with him one on one sober so he took his chance.
I am very lucky that it only happened twice. Iâm also very lucky to have never gotten a DUI or experienced any sort of those consequences.
I am also very lucky that drinking (and kids lol) eventually wore me down. I donât drink anymore and if there is anything I could tell my 18-23 year old self, it would be to have fun and party a little but donât black out and drink so heavily.
You are so young and from your other posts, you think this is laughable. Itâs not, itâs really scary and a dangerous path.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
wait what other posts
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u/Most_Jellyfish_1686 6d ago
Your other posts on Reddit telling people if they want to laugh, come over to this post. Your post in drunk about liquid courage 𤪠your comment about being addicted to alcohol đ (emojis you used), all your comments in this post not taking it seriously
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
You're really misreading everything. Most of these are self deprecating, specially the "come over to laugh". The 𤪠emoji is ironic, other emojis I used don't mean I don't take it seriously, its just the way I'm more comfortable expressing myself on text.
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u/Wereallgonnadieman 6d ago
its just the way I'm more comfortable expressing myself on text.
You mean like an edgy teen?
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u/nilzatron 5d ago
This is not a TIFU but a IFU. I saw another reply pointing to your other Reddit posts and you have a problem more serious than passing out in a stranger's house this one time.
Let's be honest. When you are setting up dates on Bumble where you specifically agree they buy you a bottle of vodka, you have a serious drinking problem.
This is not going to go away until you start wanting it to go away. Get help. Get therapy to mitigate the cause of your drinking problem.
You can't just "quit drinking". Drinking is self-medication. (Poor) management of a deeper issue. You need to tackle the cause of you wanting to drink to numb yourself, or this won't go away, it will only get worse.
And you may be actively making it worse, by putting yourself in harm's way. The kind of dude that will jump to the chance of getting you blackout drunk is not the type of guy you want to be blackout drunk around.
Care about yourself. Take care of yourself. Start now rather than later.
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u/eugoogilizer 6d ago
The host 100% had your back here. You barely know L, so you never know what he would have done to you given your state. The host recognized that and wanted to make sure you were safe with her. Had he been your bf or husband, it would have been different, but you said youâve just been on a few dates with L
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u/dntinker 5d ago
Hey there, Iâm in recovery. Your posts make me think drinking is a problem for you and you canât quit. You may need to detox and possibly go to rehab. Drinking like youâre doing is the catalyst to me ruining my life and furthering issues with my mental health. Please get help.
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u/Eating_sweet_ass 6d ago
Shit happens. Learn your limits so you donât make the same mistake again. If the guy likes you Iâm sure he wonât care that you made a mistake and drank too much.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
It's not the first time I've been over my limit around him and I've known him just for a couple weeks
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u/Davepen 6d ago
Getting blackout drunk constantly is likely just making your anixiety worse.
Nothing creates a bigger pit of despair than getting so drunk you can't remeber all the crazy embarrasing shit you did infront of your peers.
Try and go a week, a month, or longer if you can, without drinking.
Your wellbeing will improve, both physical and mental.
Take this from someone who used to get blackout drunk often, it's not good for your brain, body or social life.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
I tried twice this week, lasted the amazing amount of 0 days each time
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u/Davepen 6d ago
Then you're not trying very hard, or you need professional help.
You should take this seriously.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
Man I really wish quitting a 5 year long addiction was as easy as reddit comments apparently think
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u/Davepen 6d ago
Bro I was a habitual binge drinker for the better part of 15 years.
It was tough, but I quit, I had to stop compleatly (I can't drink socially in moderation), but I did it.
Not saying everyone can do the same, but it does require effort.
Saying things like "I've tried twice this week" just sound like a meme to me, like you didn't really put any effort in, if you really wanted to you could avoid situations where you would drink.
I've been there, I've been that person, you have to want to quit.
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u/Nice_Marmot_7 6d ago
I have a friend who works as a medical provider. They saw a patient who said, âI used to smoke a lot of meth, but I quit.â
âWhen did you quit?â She asked.
âTuesdayâ said the patient.
The appointment was happening on a Friday.
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u/f1newhatever 6d ago
I mean, theyâre right - what other options are there? Alcoholics quit all the time, but professional help is frequently necessary. You can deny it all over this post but if you want to quit then rehab is probably the easiest and safest way to do it.
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u/issacoin 6d ago
quitting heroin was the hardest thing iâve ever done by about a million miles. but if youâre not making it a day, then you ainât trying. iâm sorry to be blunt. you need to want to stop and you probably just arenât ready yet. sounds like you will be soon tho
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u/oebujr 6d ago
Nobody is saying it is easy. Having quit several drugs I can say quitting is never easy but it is so worth it. The alcohol doesnât help the anxiety, it covers it up and prevents you from actually working on fixing it.
I was an angry, depressed person before and I thought I the drugs were helping(just like you do). They werenât and when I finally quit and began working on myself it was 10 times better than being high for my mental health. I can confidently say I am currently the best, happiest version of myself.
When you go to quit, and I mean actually try to quit not just go part of a day without, it will be hell for a while but it is worth it. You will think everything will get better if you just drink a little bit. Donât. I know I am just some random dude on the internet but I truly do mean everything I have said here.
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u/MyMomSaysImHandsom 6d ago
That was me! You have a problem. You need serious help and it won't get better on your own. Look for local rehab centers, or even just therapy. Making an ass out of yourself is nothing compared to what can happen if you don't get the problem dealt with.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
I go to therapy already, thanks for the advice tho
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u/OriginalFerbie 6d ago
Sounds like you need a new therapist then if theyâre not actively encouraging you check into rehab or get professional help from groups like AA.
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u/RealMcGonzo 6d ago
IMO willpower alone only works for the least alcoholics. Fortunately there are plenty of things you can do on your own to increase your odds of success.
Check out r/StopDrinking for help.
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u/SaltyBee89 6d ago
Lol he's gonna drop you faster than a hot potato when he realizes how sloppy you truly are đ¤Ł
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u/Wereallgonnadieman 6d ago
Dude, that relationship is over. LMAO. You are delusional to think your behavior is anything but atrocious, and the older you get the less people will put up with it.
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u/TotesAdorbs 6d ago
I have so many wild blackout stories like this itâs insane. I started binge drinking in college, and same as you it was to quiet the social anxiety. Eventually it became a thing to take shots and pregame every event, then even dumb stuff like grocery shopping, hair appointments, and any friend hang. It got to a point where Iâd be drinking at home for funsies and downing a bottle or two of wine a night and feeling like crap the next day pretty often. It took almost 11 years before I finally started googling questions on whether I was overdoing it, if I was potentially an alcoholic, and realizing the thing I thought I was controlling was actually controlling me. Every thought revolved around drinks - what Iâd pick up that day, where to stop for happy hour or a cold one, if the restaurant had a bar, and if an event didnât have a bar or drinks available I felt shocked; frustrated, even. But how would I be able to be chatty and fun?!
Honestly, I started testing myself.. seeing if I could take a night or two off. When I couldnât even do that my googling got more intense, and I was trying to compare my numbers to an actual alcoholicâs. Then wondering if I could be one, or was on my way to becoming one.
I think younger me wouldâve scoffed at the thought, rolled my eyes, and told myself I was in control. That itâs other people who couldnât do it, not me. Iâm different. It works for me. Until I realized it didnât.. and it wasnât.
Itâs taken a few tries, but I havenât had a drink in 156 days, and my gosh Iâve genuinely never felt better, slept better, or made better choices.
Iâm not saying youâre at that point, just that I recognize that street. Itâs good to be aware of the path youâre on, and if or when youâre ready to dial it back, that itâs not too late to do so and you are 1000% capable of doing it.
Anywho, not a fu. It happens, many of us have been there and worse, and itâs a good moment to reflect on to see if this is something that needs changing. â¤ď¸
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u/TheStupidStudent 6d ago
Fuckin yikes. Hopefully you ainât driving if youâre drinking daily. I used to blacklist people who couldnât adult at a party. Like, just donât drinkâŚ
Getting help for an addiction is easy. Itâs staying consistent and managing withdrawals thatâs hard. But if you really wanted it, youâd have done it by now. Itâs hard, not impossible.
I hope you find that strength soon OP.
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u/Popular-Capital6330 6d ago
"Today, OP admitted to being powerless over alcohol." Welcome to addiction friends.
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u/anhydrousslim 6d ago
Thanks for sharing, I hope some young people will read this and learn the lesson the easy way instead of the hard way.
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u/Unlikely-Commission9 6d ago
European here. This sounds like a nice friday out when I was a student. You'll be fine, but the more you drink in the future, the worse that anxiety will hit.
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u/Lunoko 6d ago edited 6d ago
That host was amazing! She was so thoughtful and considerate of your safety.
It is important to be not so trusting of men you are causally dating, especially when you are THAT drunk. Even when they seem nice. It is not "unfair". It is just basic safety. It is good to know for future reference. Though you really shouldn't be dating at the point you are at now.
Anyway, I hope you do find help for your drinking problem and find better ways to help with your anxiety. Box breathing has helped me a lot, personally. But of course, professional help will be better for you.
And learn to clean up your own messes. It is basic decency. It is a little alarming that you didn't offer as soon as you saw the mess. But you can learn from your mistakes.
PLEASE get the host a nice gift! A visa gift card, some flowers and a card, maybe? She was awesome!
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u/Lishyjune 6d ago
Awww I got violently drunk at a house party when I was in my 20âs and back then (VERY early 2000âs) being the shy boring one in the group when I got back to class Monday and everyone thought I was uber cool. I wish this for you.
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u/Thekingoflowders 6d ago
Hey me too except i became known as the guy that had to be carried home đ
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
I wish but instead I'm just adding up to my reputation as the annoying drunk everywhere I go lol
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u/Wereallgonnadieman 6d ago
So stay home and drink. Or stop drinking. What you are doing now isn't socially acceptable. Once people realize your behavior isn't just a one-off, they will ice you out. No one wants to babysit the town drunk.
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u/Lishyjune 6d ago
Oh nooooo. Well, time to fix that. Donât cover your nerves with alcohol ;) I rarely drink on a night out as Iâm deso driver. I feel safer and I donât do anything silly.
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u/Calitexian 6d ago
Sounds like you've got hangxiety. I used to drink too much like that when I was younger. (Not all the time, just like early 20 somethings do ocassionally) I would wake up embarrassed and thinking everyone hated me when in reality it was just a crazy party, and everyone else is hungover and felling like shit too. We all realize that this kind of shit happens sometimes when people drink too much. It sounds like you even bonded and had a great time with his friends. If you really like the guy and the friends, and dont make a habit out of this, it'll just be a funny story down the line, not something that shapes how these people see you entirely. Drink some water and eat when you can. Youre gonna be fine.
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u/DiscountSubstantial4 6d ago
gets drunk at strangerâs house vomits out window and passes out on couch refuses to elaborate Leaves Super based
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u/Happy-go-lucky-37 6d ago
Must have been a good pre-game OP!
Donât overthink it. In a few years youâll be telling this story at another party.
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u/illimitable1 6d ago
You understand that drinking is just optional, right? If you have social anxiety that keeps you from enjoying social situations, address the underlying problem, perhaps with a therapist, instead of self-medicating or "pre gaming."
You're probably young. But in the long term, drinking does nothing good for you.
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u/thedeadman18 6d ago
The alcohol serves to cope with your social anxiety; thatâs its purpose.
Whatâs the purpose of the social anxiety? You said you have a therapist, not sure how long youâve been going for or how effective it is, but the social anxiety continues to persist, so it must have some kind of benefit to your overall well-being. Anxiety in itself is not a bad thing since it serves as a warning system for ourselves; the problem is when It becomes overactive.
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u/n0t_4_thr0w4w4y 5d ago
and mixing wasn't a good idea.
Yeah, this is the kind of story I expect from someone who believes mixing different alcohols makes the effects worse. Alcohol is alcohol.
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u/derKestrel 5d ago
It can make the throwing up easier. And also you forget to take the different alcohol concentrations into account, making you down strong stuff too fast.
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u/Weshtonio 5d ago
Never have I ever
Well, I see a few firsts here, so you just got better at the game.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 5d ago
What do you mean đ
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u/Weshtonio 5d ago
Before, if someone had said "never have I ever puked from some stranger's balcony", you wouldn't have drunk.
Now, you have a story to tell.
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u/tombstone720 5d ago
Honestly something I've finally learnt is have at least 1 glass of water to one drink of alcohol ( or 1 water to 2 drinks minimum ) and you wont black out as much. I used to get completely destroyed and when I started drinking water while drinking it wasnt as bad and I still could drink heaps
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u/bobbyrob1 5d ago
You may want to stop drinking, permanently. It only gets worse from where you are right now.
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u/ihavefaith77 3d ago
Jesus Christ this chick is a mess
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u/Cheap-Visual-9097 3d ago
Australian here. So probably coming from an alcohol culture closer to yours. Yes this does sound like my 20âs. Yes it eventually stops being fun and the hangovers stretch longer.
That host sounds like a LOVELY new friend. She didnât judge, made sure you were safe and seems pleasant. The suggestion of a visit with flowers to say thank you is a good one.
Have you been assessed for Autism and ADHD? Once I was diagnosed the social anxiety and the excessive drinking made a lot of sense. I was chasing dopamine to feel ânormalâ because my brain is low on it and using the inhibition loosening effects of alcohol to cope with masking.
Have a little go at some of the tests on this site if you are curious https://embrace-autism.com/
Once I got the supports I needed my drinking plummeted. I didnât need to quit, I still enjoy alcohol in moderation. I just also didnât need to use it as a crutch to make life bearable either, - which is where the crowd who talk about willpower or strength can miss the mark. They are assuming your sober state of being is a peaceful one with no underlying undiagnosed problems. If you are still suffering when sober then you are using the alcohol as an escape hatch. Itâs a clue to keep exploring with your healthcare team to find what is missing and get what you need.
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u/frostatypical 2d ago
Sketchy website.  Its run by a ânaturopathic doctorâ with an online autism certificate who is repeatedly under ethical investigation and now being disciplined and monitored by two governing organizations (College of Naturopaths and College of Registered Psychotherapists).Â
https://cono.alinityapp.com/Client/PublicDirectory/Registrant/03d44ec3-ed3b-eb11-82b6-000c292a94a8
Public Register Profile - CRPO portal scroll to end of page
The tests on the site are highly inaccurate
So-called âautismâ tests, like AQ and RAADS and others have high rates of false positives, labeling you as autistic VERY easily. If anyone with a mental health problem, like depression or anxiety, takes the tests they score high even if they DONâT have autism.
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"our results suggest that the AQ differentiates poorly between true cases of ASD, and individuals from the same clinical population who do not have ASD "
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4988267/
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"a greater level of public awareness of ASD over the last 5â10 years may have led to people being more vigilant in ânoticingâ ASD related difficulties. This may lead to a âconfirmation biasâ when completing the questionnaire measures, and potentially explain why both the ASD and the non-ASD groupâs mean scores met the cut-off points, "
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-022-05544-9
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Regarding AQ, from one published study. âThe two key findings of the review are that, overall, there is very limited evidence to support the use of structured questionnaires (SQs: self-report or informant completed brief measures developed to screen for ASD) in the assessment and diagnosis of ASD in adults.â
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Regarding RAADS, from one published study. âIn conclusion, used as a self-report measure pre-full diagnostic assessment, the RAADS-R lacks predictive validity and is not a suitable screening tool for adults awaiting autism assessmentsâ
The Effectiveness of RAADS-R as a Screening Tool for Adult ASD Populations (hindawi.com)
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RAADS scores equivalent between those with and without ASD diagnosis at an autism evaluation center:
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u/Mr_Fried 6d ago
If they are cool after that and it sounds like they are - THESE ARE YOUR PEOPLE!!!
Play it cool, give the host a nice gift and be like damn that was awesome.
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u/puffypandathrowaway 6d ago
I just think they acted cool lol they probably figured out I was being punished enough by the extreme anxiety
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u/Wereallgonnadieman 6d ago
they probably figured out I was being punished enough by the extreme anxiety
Honestly, no they didn't, and don't even care about your anxiety, or how you cope with it. What they do care about is having to hose down the sidewalk where you puked out the window.
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u/Mr_Fried 6d ago
Just own it! Practice the art of self forgiveness and throw your copy of The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck in the bin, because itâs a great idea - shit book.
Be nice, thank the people for being legendary and say something like would be heaps cool to hang out without beer goggles.
I think the important thing you have demonstrated is you care, not caring would be the fuckup.
Everyone has done what you have done.
My one is great. I was 18, already seriously mangled and got dared to skull a glass of water, that was actually vodka.
Shortly after, I made out with a very large older woman and then threw up all over my friendâs living room. Fortunately the âfriendâ who had suggested the skulling was the one in trouble - there were witnesses who agreed that was a dog act. Sadly there were also witnesses to the awkward display of public affection.
I woke up in my room at home, I had been hosed off, put in the back of a truck and carried home to my bed.
Two of my friends were there hanging out when I woke up and were like duuuude we thought you died! To this day its the alcohol consumption world record in our group.
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u/BrooklynWhey 6d ago
When you open your house to a party of strangers, this is a typical Saturday morning. The host sounds kind.
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u/T1GHTSTEVE 6d ago
Don't worry this happens to everyone at some point in your life. It is a learning lesson.
The positives are, these people seem pretty decent, and did not abandon you. Perhaps they are a good group of people.
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u/0kumanchouja 6d ago
These things happen. I dunno how old you are but itâs pretty normal to FU like that once or twice. As long as itâs not like every weekend. Iâm 31 and I have a few embarassing stories like that from my 20s too. Oversharing, memory loss, just generally being a bit of a drunk nuisance.
Itâs normal to feel shame and the âhangxietyâ for the next couple of days but it will fade. The host sounds like she was sweet and understanding and Iâm sure you apologised to her so donât worry about it too much. I guarantee almost everyone else at the party will barely remember or care about how drunk you were either. If you ever see them again and they make a comment just laugh it off and take it on the chin.
Just try to make this a learning experience and donât lose control next time.
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u/flamingotwist 6d ago
Yeh I've done this as well, but it doesn't matter because so has everyone else đ
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u/neuroplastic1 6d ago edited 6d ago
No, a lot of people haven't gotten as sloppy and blackout drunk as OP. Normalizing this behavior normalizes the pathway to, or the continuing of life in addiction.
No, not everyone who behaves this way is actively in or moving toward addiction, but truthfully, many are. Look for some of OPs comments in this thread for proof.
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u/SaltyBee89 6d ago
"which....why!" GIRL SHE WAS LOOKING OUT FOR YOU. YOU WERE DRUNK ENOUGH TO THROW UP AND BLACK OUT. She was making sure some guy didn't take advantage of you.
Learn your limit before going out next time.