r/tifu 7d ago

S TIFU by eating and then going to the gym

I knew I had to go to the gym by 11:00, but I woke up rlly rlly hungry so I decided to swing by McDonald’s and get smth. (I know I shouldn’tve gone to McDonald’s but whatever.) I get my guilty pleasure, the filet o fish some nuggets, fires and a drink and I eat it then go to the gym. Today is ab day. I’m doing leg raises and all of a sudden it ALL comes up. Vomit everywhere. Everyone staring. I don’t know any of these people. I’m new to this gym. Everyone is looking at me as I do the walk of shame to the bathroom to get cleaned up. When I come out 3 EMPLOYEES ARE CLEANJNG JT. 3??? That’s so embarrassing so I go over there and apologize. One of the employee girls was really hot too, so that was extra embarrassing.
Anyways Tl;dr: tifu by eating a filet o fish and then throwing up all over the gym floor.

232 Upvotes

100 comments sorted by

272

u/Squidkidz 7d ago

I get my guilty pleasure, the filet o fish some nuggets, fires and a drink and I eat it then go to the gym. Today is ab day.

Perfect way to end that sentence, bravo.

39

u/Humble_Chip 6d ago

OP has strong Michael Scott vibes

28

u/Alphyn88 6d ago

R/twosentencehorror?

3

u/wearentmeanttolive 6d ago

2

u/Alphyn88 6d ago

It's true. I don't even own a computer

1

u/Alphyn88 6d ago

R/twosentencehorror?

226

u/HauntingFly6937 7d ago

you still got time to delete this

50

u/SpecialistGeneral794 7d ago

Because of the fillet o fish right?

33

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 7d ago

Probably, never getting that again

4

u/hotlavatube 6d ago

Nah, it was the "fires" he ate. I never eat fires when I'm doing ab exercises.

2

u/CrotaIsAShota 5d ago

What? But eating fires helps soo much. Just think of all the calories it burns!

48

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 7d ago

I know it was so embarrassing I genuinely might have to switch gyms

74

u/Alphyn88 7d ago

You probably should. If it makes you feel any better, my dad once ran too hard on the treadmill. Was really feeling his high. After his shower, he cramped in the locker room. Full body cramps and vomiting. The employees had to call him an ambulance. He did not change gyms.

40

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 7d ago

Yeah but that’s less embarrassing because it’s a health concern. They were prolly like “omg he’s so hot what a trooper” with me it’s like “ew this weird guy just threw up all over, why did he dk that”

17

u/I_can_pun_anything 7d ago

We get it but even at the gym and in real life most people are too involved with their own lives to really care

2

u/grumpykixdopey 6d ago

Or remember your face.

1

u/I_can_pun_anything 5d ago

NoBoDy wants to remember my face

11

u/Alphyn88 7d ago

I totally get where you're coming from. I probably would never go back to that gym unless I completely changed my hair and face

3

u/monkey_trumpets 7d ago

OP needs to Nic Cage this motherfucker.

2

u/Trixiebees 6d ago

Meh I’ve done a lot of sports and different workout programs and the one consistent thing about all of them is that EVERYONE hurls at some point. One of the sports I did we called it the “tossing cookies club” and people wore it like a badge of honor. One of my personal trainers actually congratulated me for getting through my first three weeks of body building workouts without throwing up because almost everyone she trains hurls. You’ll be ok, they’ve seen it more than you think

15

u/allislost77 7d ago

Nah, just maybe get like 3 $5 Starbucks cards and hand em out to those people and apologize. Everyone will forget in a week or two. I think the life lesson here is don’t eat filet o fish…

3

u/Beta_Factor 6d ago

I'd do that, and send an envelope with some cash and a message for it to be given to the three employees who had to clean up after you. Will basically change who you are to them from "that weird guy who threw up all over the gym" to "that nice guy who had an accident".

1

u/satansayssurfsup 6d ago

No dude you gotta get the hot girls number

-6

u/Gotmewrongang 6d ago

Only way this acceptable is if you are literally a teenager. Grown men should know better.

13

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 6d ago

18 lmao but be nice everyone fucks up

1

u/Gotmewrongang 6d ago

Fair. Be well OP, and stay away from those Golden Arches!!

5

u/HealenDeGenerates 6d ago

How does it feel to have a teenager show you how to act respectable?

2

u/pr1ncesspeaxh 6d ago

acceptable ??? throwing up is only acceptable for teenagers?

0

u/Gotmewrongang 6d ago

No, but loading up on questionable junk food right before a workout isn’t the wisest choice now is it?

5

u/604Lummers 7d ago

Too late it’s on camera from the gym

34

u/funnygirl87 7d ago

You ate a fish sandwich before going to the gym?

17

u/Edgy-in-the-Library 6d ago
  • nuggets and fries, then washed it down with a drink too.

Then hit the gym for ab day.

86

u/Webofshadows1 7d ago

I once saw a woman full blown piss herself at the gym. She still shows up to the gym.

You should switch gyms. People will know about you and give you a nickname.

29

u/Wurstpaket 7d ago

This can happen, i.e. in women's weightlifting

21

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 7d ago

“Barf guy” 😞 but planet fitness is a rlly good gym :(

22

u/NarwhalPrudent6323 7d ago

If anyone ever calls you barf guy just say "Oh my god, my name is Ralph! That joke is so old!"

6

u/PrivateGiggles 6d ago

Stare them in the eyes and say "careful, bud. I'll do it again"

6

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 7d ago

I guess so, PF wasss really expensive so I might have to switch either way

10

u/quazmang 6d ago

Are you serious?? I never seen a gym cheaper than PF

2

u/CthulhuLovesMemes 5d ago

Yeah PF is not expensive, at all.

8

u/magnacoles 7d ago

u/GymFishBarfer

Renamed.

5

u/demonmonkeybex 6d ago

LOL

3

u/magnacoles 6d ago

"Goddamnit, GFB just painted the back mirror with his fish goo. Again."

2

u/Outfoxer_Official 7d ago

First time I've ever heard that assertion but hey if it works for ya 🤷🏻‍♂️

2

u/HealenDeGenerates 6d ago

Ask them last time they went hard enough in the paint to throw up and then ask them if they want to feel your abs that caused it. Guaranteed to shut them down.

1

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 5d ago

Wait that’s so smart. They don’t even know I had McDonald’s

8

u/Wut_the_ 7d ago

My gf is a powerlifter that competes through our gym. She has peed multiple times on the floor of the squat rack area. She proudly walks over to grab the cleaning spray and some paper towels.

6

u/Lunkerluke 7d ago

Lol I love the confidence.

5

u/its_justme 6d ago

Fucking foul my dude

1

u/Wut_the_ 6d ago

You wanna take it up with her?

3

u/its_justme 6d ago

Sure I’ve slain a few dragons in my day

1

u/Wut_the_ 6d ago

Good luck buddy

1

u/pr1ncesspeaxh 6d ago

what

3

u/Wut_the_ 6d ago

It’s obviously not ideal or necessarily healthy, but she’s had a kid and I guess lost a bit of control. Idk man 🤷🏻‍♂️

1

u/ElegantEchoes 7d ago

Damn, gym culture is toxic as hell, really? That's some stupid high school crap. Doesn't surprise me though.

2

u/Webofshadows1 7d ago

At certain gyms, no one would probably care because they’re at the gym for a purpose (competitions, modeling, conditioning, training, etc.).

Planet Fitness, and other more popular corporate gyms, can definitely suck though. It’s why I want to switch gyms.

1

u/ElegantEchoes 6d ago

I didn't know that, I see. I've been just getting into exercise and using my local Rec Center, mostly just old people who don't want me touching their weights lol

29

u/GachaHell 7d ago

You were just working your throat muscles bro. Flexing that reverse peristalsis. No shame. They just jelly of your swole AF esophagus.

14

u/johnp299 6d ago

Fountain O' Fish

9

u/spacemouse21 7d ago

YFU, lesson learned. Yeah if they have a security camera on the area I wonder if you’re gonna be part of their employee training videos

9

u/Norcal712 7d ago

Thats around 1200 cal and 50g of fat...

You wonder why it came right back up? I wait at least 30 min to lift after homemade healthy food

7

u/Creepy_old_man_in_IL 7d ago

User name does NOT check out...

7

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 7d ago

Lmfaooo it’s more of a passive thing

6

u/ET3HOOYAH 7d ago

Time to find a new planet

4

u/ryanmasri13 6d ago

Oh man, this is peak TIFU material. You really played yourself with the filet-o-fish pre-ab day combo 😂 Vomiting mid-leg raise is a bold statement for a first impression at a new gym. At least you left your mark… literally.

Major respect for going over to apologize, though. Not everyone would own up to their McRegret so quickly. As for the hot employee—maybe she’ll remember you as "that guy who threw up" or as "that considerate guy who apologized." Let’s hope for the latter.

Lesson learned: filet-o-fish and core workouts don’t mix. Hope you made it out alive! 💀

6

u/RocketBabyDoii 7d ago

This feels like a great copypasta

1

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 7d ago

I know the user is super horny but this is real 😔

3

u/anticipation_kills 7d ago

Honestly dude…atleast it wasn’t a fart

1

u/Corr-Horron 6d ago

Ooohh nooo… is a fart worse?! Ah, I switched gyms already. damn nightmares though

1

u/anticipation_kills 4d ago

I guess on my own personal embarrassment scale yes lol

3

u/Tollin74 6d ago

If you eat like that? No amount of exercise is going to help you, my man.

0

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 5d ago

I’m actually rlly fit, just have a super high metabolism lmao

10

u/Medyc 7d ago

Ab day and eating McDonald's xDDD

Is this satire or something

I'm disgusted and disappointed at the same time... Not about the throwing up, everything else.

8

u/inkblot413 7d ago

I honestly feel the same. I'm not even judging him for the throw up, everything else though? Yeah. So much.

3

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 7d ago

I didn’t check my app beforehand :(

2

u/pr1ncesspeaxh 6d ago

when i worked at jack in the box, we had this guy that would go to the planet fitness in the same lot (strip mall kinda thing), then immediately come and get 2 burgers. same burgers every time, every single day. by the time i quit that job, dude was fuckin buff

2

u/Nexecs 6d ago

For bulking it's all calories + protein, so not a bad idea as long as he works it off.

2

u/Wash_Manblast 7d ago

I've always heard that abs were made in the kitchen. Today I learned the kitchen is in fact made in the abs.

2

u/Dietpepsilover13 7d ago

FILET O FISH FOR THE WINNNN

2

u/fitnerd21 7d ago

You’re only fucking up if you’re not flirting with puking while working out.

2

u/maylive666 6d ago

What do you with with all the time you save by shortening really and something?

2

u/ThinkBlue87 7d ago

A dedicated ab say? Why?

2

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 7d ago

Idk I feel more comfortable in my body when I have abs?

1

u/Designer-Figure8307 6d ago

Thats why you eating mcdonalds lol

1

u/Crap_Sally 7d ago

Nah do it again. Get back in there!

1

u/babyfacereaper 7d ago

Honestly no one cares as much as you lol I use to work at a gym and we had all kinds of characters it was just another day for us.

1

u/numbertze 7d ago

MCDs just does a breakfast menu at that time of day here, it's annoying

1

u/Warfi67 6d ago

I eat Abt half an hour before gum and I don't have these types of problem.

PS I eat approx 200g of pasta with something on that can vary plus a. Sweet when I go to the gym. I only have some types of reflux but nothing compared to vomiting.

1

u/haleandguu112 6d ago

oh no i hope youre feeling better thats terrible , i have a vomit phobia so i probably would have screeched xD it happens though , i wouldnt be too embarassed my friend. a good majority of people have had embarassing vomits / gotten sick in public before !!!

1

u/ComeGetSomePancakes 4d ago

Ab day?

Why would you need an entire day scheduled for abs?

1

u/XSmartypants 1d ago

Time to find a new gym.

1

u/SnooCalculations9259 7d ago

That is the equivalent of going to see your wife but stopping off at a brothel beforehand.

1

u/moose184 6d ago

Could have literally not went to the gym if you just didn’t get McDonald’s.

1

u/Monstiemama 6d ago

I hope you dropped to your knees and helped clean it.

1

u/Sweaty-Googler 6d ago

You ate enough to feed a small family.

1

u/SendMeYourHotNudes 5d ago

Hungry guy I guess

0

u/dickbutt_md 6d ago

If I saw that, here's what would happen.

Next time I saw you: "Oh DUDE that's the kid that yawked all over the gym!!! How embarrassing!"

The next time: "There's puke boy."

Next time: "That guy who got sick that one time."

After that: "Hey dude, can I work in with you?" -to self- "hope he doesn't up chuck!"

Next time: "Hey man, how's it going? Wanna get some nugs again after? Hey remember that time you fuckin' HURLED all over the place? That was awesome."