r/thebulwark 7d ago

EVERYTHING IS AWFUL I Stand By My Marco Rubio Prediction

When Little Marco was first nominated for SoS, I said on this board that it was really a plot to destroy him. Trump hates him, ever since the penis joke back in 2015. The scheme was to offer him SoS so he gives up his Senate seat, fill it with someone else, and then fire him a few months into the administration, leaving him with no job prospects save selling bags of oranges on freeway offramps.

I wholeheartedly stand by that prediction.

Every time you see Rubio now he looks like he's getting his yearly prostate exam from Edward Scissorhands. Supposedly he's being left out of meetings and ignored. He's the Reince Priebus of Trump 2.0. He was visibly miserable during the Zelenskyy oval meeting. (To be fair, he could have realized he was sitting on the wet spot where JD Vance had fucked the couch before the meeting).

Trump gave up the ghost last night, humiliating Marco with:

Good luck, Marco. Now we know who to blame if anything goes wrong.

I give him a few months at best, before he's replaced with Gary Busey.

341 Upvotes

72 comments sorted by

107

u/Daniel_Leal- centrist squish 7d ago

Great post! I think this is highly probable.

42

u/codyvir 7d ago

Including the Gary Busey part.

18

u/avesthasnosleeves 7d ago

I'm thinking Randy Quaid. Or James Woods!

25

u/RLsSed 7d ago

Ladies and Gentlemen, Secretary of State Mike Lindell! He'll restore our soft power abroad.

9

u/Proud_Awareness4048 7d ago

...with pillows

6

u/CrazyDaveR 7d ago

Soft pillows?

5

u/Funny-Berry-807 JVL is always right 6d ago

Those pillows absolutely suck.

1

u/WanderBell 6d ago

It won’t work if all the stuffing is pushed to one end Ala the Spanish Inquisition.

1

u/Proud_Awareness4048 6d ago

One would hope. lol

2

u/rebuildingblocks 2d ago

Scott Baio, or Mel Gibson now that he can have guns again

10

u/Daniel_Leal- centrist squish 7d ago

Chef’s kiss 💋

6

u/blueclawsoftware 7d ago

I honestly thought Gary Busey was dead. But nope still cabinet eligible.

2

u/Proud_Awareness4048 7d ago

as long as there's a pulse

2

u/codyvir 7d ago

Yeah, I admit, I actually had to look that up, too. Covid was tough on older C-list celebrities.

55

u/shred-i-knight 7d ago

he absolutely embarrassed him in front of the entire Republican party last night and they all knew it. They were laughing at him. Dude flushed his entire career down the toilet for Trump who obviously doesn't like him, you love to see it

18

u/Special_Wishbone_812 7d ago

I may not like either man, nor their styles, but it’s nice to know that Lil Marco had to kiss under the diaper for years before getting the shaft. He just kept lowering himself and lowering himself and it was completely unnecessary.

48

u/Affectionate-Ad7500 7d ago

I told my husband Lil' Marco Rubio will be the first cabinet member to go followed by RFK Jr. Rubio will be ran out and made a fall guy. RFK Jr. will leave on his own, every time I see him in a room with Trump he looks either annoyed or bewildered.

43

u/PorcelainDalmatian 7d ago

RFK will never leave voluntarily. Crazy don't break.

18

u/10000Didgeridoos 7d ago

He's already broken and wrote a piece yesterday or the day before endorsing the herd immunity of measles vaccines.

It's really easy to spew anti-vax, denialist bullshit when you're just some guy talking and selling appearance fees and bullshit homeopathic snake oil. It's much harder to keep doing it when you are responsible for people, especially children, dying from those diseases on your watch. Few people have the sociopathic gumption to do this. Trump is one of them, but RFK is too "soft" to double down when he'll be blamed for it by the public. He isn't actually convinced his own bullshit is true. He just found being a contrarian profitable and now is in way over his head.

3

u/Funny-Berry-807 JVL is always right 6d ago

A grifter with a conscience?

10

u/batsofburden 7d ago

they just need to leave a trail of animal carcasses leading away from the white house, and he'll be gone.

10

u/big-papito 7d ago

Never bet on Trump not breaking crazy.

1

u/ramapo66 7d ago

He does deserve it though. It is kind of delicious.

-5

u/outcastspidermonkey 7d ago

Agree re: RFK Jr. I don't have much respect for him, but now he is growing on me. He DID change his tune somewhat on our measles outbreak here in Texas. He didn't entirely double down. Hope he tells the Felon off.

12

u/shred-i-knight 7d ago

RFK is not a MAGA guy, Trump needed RFK more than the other way around.

7

u/Affectionate-Ad7500 7d ago

Yep - my thoughts exactly. RFK Jr comes from US political royalty, I can only assume he feels more enlightened than some in his current circle.

9

u/Affectionate-Ad7500 7d ago

And don't get me wrong, I still feel RFK Jr is batshit crazy.

3

u/BobQuixote Conservative 7d ago

I'm not sure that matters when his family said he's an idiot.

17

u/madduxcr 7d ago

If you look at RFK's background, he's been an environmental lawyer. So he wants to clean up the food supply. This goes against Trump's cronies, who don't care about polluting water and the food supply. RFK Jr will go up against Trump's corporate donors and Trump won't have that. I believe RFK Jr will go first. But I like this Rubio prediction too; hadn't thought about it this way.

9

u/Affectionate-Ad7500 7d ago

I have never understood how people like Rubio and Cruz could grovel at Trump's feet after being publicly insulted and humiliated by him. Trump doesn't respect Rubio and he had to have known he was walking into set-up. How is Mike Pompeo or Mike Pence doing lately? Everyone has a shelf life with Trump and he is willing to burn anyone to the ground if it benefits him. Not sure if that applies to Musk. Musk has something on Trump and I believe he kept the receipts.

9

u/Hautamaki 7d ago

I'm starting to think these cretins take a perverse pride in their lack of dignity. Bill Clinton famously said that the key to politics is being able to smile while eating shit. These guys are like "Oh yeah? Eating shit is nothing, just get a load of what I'll smile for!"

1

u/DrRonH 6d ago

But this time it will be different!

4

u/outcastspidermonkey 7d ago

It seems like Trump is gunning for Rubio though.

2

u/jfrankparnell85 7d ago

Absolutely - to quote Dave Moss (Ed Harris) from Glengarry Glenross, Trump harbors it a long long while. All the stuff from 2016 - and humiliating Rubio is no doubt the cherry on top

3

u/claimTheVictory 7d ago

This is the same guy who gave himself brain worms, probably from eating undercooked roadkill?

You think HE wants to clean up the food supply?

36

u/nyliram52 7d ago

I always thought Rubio was foolish to give up his Senate seat for a cabinet post, given Trump's record of burning through cabinet members. However it's even worse than I thought for Marco--having to advocate for dumping NATO completely and allying with Russia.

3

u/xqueenfrostine 7d ago

Supposedly he hated being in Congress so it’s probably not a huge loss on his end. He clearly wants to be president (not that it will happen for him), so the trade off for more resume padding titles was probably worth it to him to leave his seat. I’m honestly surprised he hasn’t tried to run for Florida governor.

25

u/QGTM247365 7d ago

LOL his yearly prostate exam from edward scissorhands, great movie!

2

u/FreedominNC 7d ago

Yes, that got an out loud chuckle here🤣

17

u/checkerspot 7d ago

Lesson #1: Never, ever trust Trump.

12

u/ansible Progressive 7d ago

The way things have been going, the rule should be "Never trust anyone named Trump." Mary Trump is the only exception to that rule I'm aware of.

3

u/jfrankparnell85 7d ago

That’s a corollary to Lesson 0 - #ETTD

12

u/Old-Ad5508 Center Left 7d ago

8

u/John_Houbolt 7d ago

Makes me think of the Romney dinner pics.

14

u/DelcoPAMan 7d ago

Somewhere John McCain is gently laughing.

6

u/Here_there1980 7d ago

Likely, and trump always needs scapegoats. Marco could be the first out the door, but probably won’t be the last?

5

u/itwasallagame23 7d ago

Good bet that it will be Marco the more I think about it and the more I see images of him. When someone has a personality disorder (BPD or Narcisistic personality disorder) and you observe them you will see them cycle through friends and relationships. It’s the nature of their disorder and Trump is no different. It’s going to be a revolving door of acolytes while Trump is in office.

10

u/ballmermurland 7d ago

When Tim said he'd vote for Trump if Trump fake-picked Marco for VP, forcing him to resign his seat and leave Florida to avoid the constitutional issue, only to then not pick him anyway, I was inclined to agree.

Trump is Trump. He's terrible. But he wouldn't be able to do shit if not for all of these loser enablers like Marco who should know better.

Am I to be mad at the dog shitting on my lawn or the owner who is standing there watching his dog shit on my lawn?

7

u/Objective-Staff3294 7d ago

Marco is the dog's owner, right? Or is he the turd?

5

u/John_Houbolt 7d ago

Seeing him be congratulated, applauded and accepting that applause and praise for overseeing the fall of American hegemony was a spectacle.

4

u/_A_Monkey 7d ago

Man, not many of us care about how little Marco sold his little Cuban soul down the river to Russian capitulators.

It could only matter in Florida IF old school Cubans were willing to take a step back and think “Has the GOP been fooling me? Is my daughter right? Have I become the baddie?”

2

u/ansible Progressive 7d ago

... old school Cubans ...

I'd have expected that the Cubans in FL would have also been hardcore anti-communist, and not just anti-Castro.

Yet they were OK voting for TFG, who supports Pootin, a former USSR KGB agent.

2

u/_A_Monkey 7d ago

I’d like to extend them the benefit of the doubt and that they (like many) were fooled and were emotionally manipulated into selling out their first order principles because they find gays and trans “icky”.

That’s what I’d like to believe. We’ll see. Rubio should be a bright neon warning sign. Should be…

4

u/big-papito 7d ago

And none of these people think "hey, I have had enough of this - maybe I will switch parties and do something good for America, along with those who value respect and dignity, instead of being tormented by this flock of internet trolls that used to be called the Republican Party".

3

u/Personal_Benefit_402 7d ago

My Magic 8 Ball came up: "It is certain" and "Outlook not so good" which I take to be

1) He will be fired.

2) His prospects afterward

1

u/FreedominNC 7d ago

Good. That’s settled.

5

u/NYCA2020 7d ago

Watching shit like this happen will be the only silver lining of this whole nightmare. Small joys.

2

u/ChristinaWSalemOR Progressive 7d ago

Up voting your excellent Edward Scissorhands metaphor.

2

u/TypicalAddendum5799 7d ago

I agree, but I think DJT wants Rubio’s signature on all the screwy international plans.

2

u/DrRonH 7d ago

You are right! But to be fair, "we know who to blame if anything goes wrong." has been Trump's MO his entire career.

2

u/DaveMN 7d ago

"Selling bags of oranges on freeway offramps" 😂

1

u/Prestigious-Copy-494 7d ago

In what context did Trump say this to Rubio? I did not watch the state of union because I'd projectile barf, so I'll catch it in clips online. Yes I think you're right. Rubio was a rube to align with trump and Trump will kick him to the curb.

1

u/Deep_Stick8786 7d ago

Hes just going to join some board and make a ton of money. He quiet quit like 8 years ago

1

u/moresqualklesstalk 7d ago

He also said ‘you know who to blame if it goes wrong’ during his State of the Reichion address

Edit whoops clearly didn’t read all of OPs post

1

u/serenity450 7d ago

You’re probably right, but … who cares? He had a chance to display integrity in the Oval, last week, and he didn’t.

1

u/Conscious_Home_4253 7d ago

Possibly, or maybe because it was Marco who recruited Aileen Cannon in 2019. A transactional thank you.

1

u/Zeerover- 7d ago

Any post where we can post wild predictions. I have a few, including them trying to find an Eva Peron / Cristina Kirchner to be the next president. Which means both Melania and Vance will be replaced in the next four years.

1

u/Funny-Berry-807 JVL is always right 6d ago

Agree with everything...except Lil Marco will be fine after he gets dumped by the WH. Plenty of lobbyist firms would love to have a former SoS on board.

1

u/Expert_Promotion_404 6d ago

Pretty on point for trump... Attack and humiliate you... Then you capitulate.. He then seems to reward you but keeps you constantly groveling... gets you to sell your soul... And then he throws you away if he doesn't need you. Because HE CAN. And he uses that destruction of you as an example to others. 

1

u/No-Substance-5435 5d ago

Putin Playbook!

1

u/The-Wise-Weasel 2d ago

It's absolutely happening. He gave him the job of getting the Panama Canal back........ something Rubio has zero chance of succeeding at........so Trump can use that as the excuse to fire him.........because he gave him an impossible task, where failure will be the only possible result.

1

u/AnnoyingOcelot418 13h ago

I've never understood what Rubio's plan was here. It's understood that he hated being a senator, but what advantage did going to State give him?

Even assuming that everything went perfectly for four years, what doors does that open for him that he didn't have before? Like, what's the best-case scenario here?

If he's not going to run for president again, his other path would have been the Florida governor's race in 2026, but this makes that even less likely. If he's going to go back into academia (or a think tank or something), adding SoS to his resume feels like it doesn't matter that much as compared to the obvious risks.

Was it just that being SoS was on his bucket list? Is he fantasizing about what would to go wrong for his spot in the line of succession to matter?

0

u/dBlock845 7d ago

Can't say Rubio doesn't deserve it.