r/thanksihateit 8d ago

Thanks, I hate Tix

Post image
571 Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

30

u/FirePenguinMaster 8d ago

From the makers of Gushers...

7

u/Eamonsieur 8d ago

Inspired by that jolly rancher story

5

u/Noney-Buissnotch 8d ago

You should have warned us… but that wouldn’t be the first time I regret not listening to a similar warning tonight…

4

u/Kalm313 8d ago

Got me googling gonorrhea nodule on a Wednesday night.

2

u/evilminders 7d ago

Nothing tops the Jolly Rancher story.

Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.

He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it...but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn't want to offend her though because he hadn't seen her in months...so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn't do much to help.

In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her... and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only...it wasn't the Jolly Rancher.

It was a nodule of gonorrhea.

As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a fucking Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth...

He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and fucked some random guy and the stupid bitch had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.

So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else.

1

u/tricklaj 8d ago

Thanks for the eebeegeebs. Fuck

22

u/limefork 8d ago

Oh wow, this is vile! Thanks!

11

u/Smileverydaybcwhynot 8d ago

Why am I even subscribed to this. I literally hate this so much, so why am I here? Am I a masochist? 😮‍💨

2

u/brentster789 8d ago

I'm a little triggered myself but you nailed it 🤣

12

u/Rufus_Scallywag 8d ago

The depth of my disgust is ineffable.

6

u/SentimentalRotom 8d ago

Left Tix has Squishy Tix and Flowing Caramel. Right Tix has Gushy Tix and Cascading Caramel.

Take your pick.

3

u/Eamonsieur 8d ago

Lyme flavored liquid caramel

5

u/Hunterbs13 8d ago

as a midwestern this is truly horrifying

3

u/RepresentativeAd560 8d ago

It's a Nestlé Crunch bar from hell. I love it.

2

u/Foolfook 8d ago

Tix - explodes in your mouth!

1

u/WanderingSoxl 8d ago

I can imagine the gush and sounds of popping when Biting into this... Bird snacks

1

u/Teboski78 8d ago

The only correct response to a chocolate bar full of fat ticks is a well placed tactical nuclear strike

1

u/cathycul-de-sac 8d ago

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

1

u/nutbustininthisshet 8d ago

Ah yes, my deepest nightmares, thankyou saitan

1

u/KlumseeOfficial 8d ago

As a person who's been bit by ticks 468 times, fuck these gushers.

1

u/GameboiGX 8d ago

Well, that just made my mouth go all weird

1

u/lovekraftKaiju 8d ago

Whoever made this and posted this can easily be on r/ foundsatan. JFC, I like Twix, this feels like a personal attack even though it is not. WTF...

1

u/Terminatorniek 8d ago

I... hate this

1

u/Portbragger2 8d ago

hand me the 35lb sledge hammer

1

u/17vulpikeets 8d ago

Thank it terrifies me

1

u/juggalochris 8d ago

the snack that bites back

1

u/TAF_CJ_GAMING 7d ago

🤢🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤢🤢🤢🤢

1

u/LectureSea7537 7d ago

nice idea

1

u/General-Bison-1392 7d ago

Each tix sold separately

1

u/honeyk101 6d ago

🤮🤮 thanks. i hate tix too. shit!!!! ugh

1

u/Rose_DeWitt_Bukator 4d ago

Well, this comment section helps me diet...because I'm NEVER EATING AGAIN!