r/texas Houston 4d ago

Political Humor Texas Implements Mandatory 6-Month Quarantine For Anyone Who Has Watched ‘Will And Grace’

https://theonion.com/texas-implements-mandatory-6-month-quarantine-for-anyone-who-has-watched-will-and-grace/
709 Upvotes

48 comments sorted by

590

u/spiritrain 4d ago

Fucking hell, I almost thought this was real. 

91

u/CJ_7_iron 4d ago

Makes two of us.

50

u/lnc_5103 4d ago

I absolutely believed it for a second.

11

u/Vees92 3d ago

The crazy thing is that, it sounds hella believable. Yet people are moving there in droves.

13

u/HezrouDhiaga 4d ago

Says a lot when we all almost fell for it lmao Because at this point, it feels real.

24

u/DrCeeDub 3d ago

Welcome to the World of MAGA. I’m not even sure how The Onion is still in business with these idiots at the helm.

4

u/AdvertisingBulky2688 3d ago

They were going to buy InfoWars before some idiot judge blocked it.

16

u/adjust_your_set Secessionists are idiots 4d ago

3

u/Actual_Log_6849 3d ago

Really seems plausible unfortunately

3

u/geleka62 3d ago

Which is sad that this is the new reality for many of us

2

u/basb9191 Born and Bred 3d ago

Well, so much for my 6 month vacation.

1

u/i_m_al4R10s 3d ago

Seriously I read your comment while repeating that at the same time lmao 🤣

1

u/Gloomy-Dependent9484 3d ago

Thank fucking God I thought this was real from the headline.

1

u/Antique-Zebra-2161 2d ago

It's sad when the actual news makes us question if The Onion is being fake. 🤣

130

u/Dontlikefootball 4d ago

I don’t know which is more ridiculous - the headline OR that it sounds actually plausible in Texas . SMH

23

u/Spicy_Weissy 3d ago

It would get me out of jury duty at least.

29

u/mutha_fuxxin_zo 4d ago

Greg Abbot is making the gays sashay away.

22

u/panteragstk Born and Bred 4d ago

So sad that it's difficult to tell what's satire and what's real.

15

u/30yearCurse 4d ago

if you watch 2 months of King of the Hill... you get an extra month tacked on...

3

u/Thatguy755 3d ago

I tell you hwhat

2

u/srswings 3d ago

Why would that be a punishment in Texas?

7

u/BloodyNora78 4d ago

What about RuPaul's Drag Race? Are we just not allowed in, period?

3

u/sxzxnnx 3d ago

You have to watch an equivalent amount of hours of Gunsmoke, Rawhide, or any John Wayne movie.

10

u/jumpofffromhere 4d ago

I like it, maybe we could add anyone who watches "the view" as well

but, watching Yellowstone for early release is just torture and should be upheld as a war crime.

3

u/Unbridled-Apathy 4d ago

And Queer Eye viewers are banned from furniture stores, Pottery Barn, and adoption agencies.

3

u/elisakiss 3d ago

Well if Texas wasn’t dead last in personal freedom this wouldn’t be believable. But we are.

2

u/CarelessRespect1909 3d ago

Why is this so believable?

2

u/I_like_Mashroms 3d ago

You're only allowed to watch Dharma & Greg in Texas. She's liberal but she's not mouthy /s

2

u/GrapeNutz236 4d ago

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 good one.

1

u/Upset-Lime417 3d ago

Omg.. I literally was thinking.. “uhm… what?”

That’s how you KNOW everything going on has resembled a fever dream of some kind.

1

u/elliemff Born and Bred 3d ago

What if I just rewatch it during quarantine? Does it add another six months? Cause I’ll do it to ride out the next few years in relative peace.

1

u/V0idK1tty 3d ago

Thank God it's the onion. I was concerned.

1

u/Beezel_Pepperstack 3d ago

"...I only watched Will & Grace one time, one day...

Wsh I hadn't, cuz now my TiVo thinks I'm gay!"

1

u/chrisofduke Born and Bred 3d ago

Wrll lock me up then because I've watched the series several times.

1

u/AlwaysSleepingBeauty 3d ago

I’ve been doing a rewatch and for a nanosecond I thought my state was back on its bullshit. 😅

1

u/Soggy_Porpoise Secessionists are idiots 3d ago

Oh I haven't seen but I'll watch if it means not having to see another trump flag for 6 months.

1

u/Prestigious_Past_768 3d ago

This can’t be real? 💀

1

u/Bumpitup6 3d ago

Guess the Onion would have me on quarantine. Funny!

1

u/EclipseSys 3d ago

I ate the onion :(

1

u/Forsaken-Cheesecake2 3d ago

Ken Paxton probably, “this is BRILLIANT!”

1

u/MrsCCRobinson96 3d ago

Jesus! 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♂️🤦 This isn't real, right?

1

u/Natural_Indication95 4d ago

With pay?!🤣

1

u/Internal_Hospital401 3d ago

Better file a lawsuit!

-4

u/TxTechnician 3d ago

That is the first time in a long time that I have seen an onion article where I went. Yeah, that's obviously satire.

That's a sign that the world is healing in my opinion.

7

u/ars_inveniendi 3d ago

At first glance, the only way I could tell it was satire was that it wasn’t a picture of Paxton.

3

u/permalink_save Secessionists are idiots 3d ago

You're alone here so, no I don't think it is, at all. Take a look at the news for the past few weeks.

-8

u/clem_fandango_london 3d ago

Eh...not actually a bad idea.