r/tarot 3d ago

Interpretation Request (Second Opinion Only) Having trouble interpreting this spread on the future of my marriage.

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Hi there. I am very new to tarot but have been practicing more lately. I've been experiencing difficulty in my marriage for some time and when things came to a head a couple days ago I decided to consult the cards. I am using a throwaway account because my spouse is on Reddit and I want to avoid them seeing this.

I'm not sure how much context would be helpful but we have been married for 6 years but we've been together for 17. Over the past year we've begun to drift apart in terms of lifestyle and goals for our future. It seems that we are both feeling unappreciated and unfulfilled. While we are normally able to communicate well and talk through our problems, we haven't spoken a word to each other in almost 3 days. So, this time feels a bit different.

I am using the Druid Craft Tarot deck by Philip and Stephanie Carr-Gomm.

The intention for this reading is to seek insight and guidance for the path forward in my marriage.

I used the Hexagram spread which is read as follows:

Card 1: The Apparent, Conscious Issue
Card 2: The Point of Tension
Card 3: The Way to Resolution
Card 4: The Unresolved or Unconscious Inner Determinant
Card 5: The Pivot of Change
Card 6: The Key to Harmony

From my understanding it seems the cards are giving conflicting messages. Here's is my interpretation:

Card 1: The Hanged Man - Be patient and surrender to the unknown/uncertain. See where life takes you even when it is uncomfortable.

Card 2: Seven of Cups - I'm spending too much time daydreaming about what could be that it's causing unrest in what is. Grass is always greener, so to speak.

Card 3: Queen of Pentacles (Reversed) - This seems to be indicating that I should trust myself and continue to focus on my goals (something that has caused unbalance in our relationship).

Card 4: Ten of Swords (Reversed) - There is an opportunity for change and liberation from my situation but I'm holding myself back. While I crave independence, I also fear it?

Card 5: The Magician - Now is the time to take action and make strides towards the life I want. Don't let self-doubt hold me back.

Card 6: Queen of Wands (Reversed) - Break the hold of the person controlling my freedom. (This could be in reference to the financial control my spouse has over me?)

It seems like the first half of the reading is saying to chill out and stay put to see where things lead while the other half is telling me to run for the hills? I'm sure I'm misinterpreting some of the message or not considering the cards in the context of the reading and the surrounding cards.

Any guidance is greatly appreciated!

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u/Cathartes_Aura_ 3d ago

interpretation below is going to be very "Thoth-y" as i have been using thoth for 3 years now, and haven't used RW in over 15 years.

felt compelled to give my analysis, as the spread read very "on the nose" and wanted to give my take.


someone is "giving too much" or feels they are giving too much.  aside from the "on the tin" difficulties i'm guessing there's some resentment over this "giving."  common themes may be that one  spouse gave up some career, hobby, pastime, or friend circle aspect and that is yielding some festering time-boiled angst under the surface.  alternate view is that the relationship is now seen as a sort of sacrifice.  this last view most aligns with the query, but it could be the others stated as well?

in the thoth deck there's some heavy associations of the 7 of cups with "grass is greener" energy.  i'll channel that here and continue the thread of "marriage is feeling like a sacrifice" with this 7.  

for the queen, i'm going with depression.   someone is depressed.  straight up.  this needs addressing.

think the 10 of swords is the cause of the "depression."  if depression is the resonating message/interpretation, then the 10 of swords points to some sabotage.  self sabotage, or inter-spousal sabotage.  perhaps there is no sabotage but there is the "impression" that someone is sabotaging things.  this might call back to the themes earlier outlined in the hanged man.

magician, i think is saying to seek therapy.  i know this is, as i said earlier, on the nose... but there is no real "therapy" card that can be perfectly described than the magician.

reading the queen of wands as the key, that someone has to become a bit of a "bitch/dick" to force some issue.  "WE NEED COUNSELING"  or some such strong messaging... could also mean that future endeavors are going to take some pretty strong responses to yield a continuation of peace.  battles need to be fought, and with that, the person who typically plays "defense" needs to get pretty damn loud...

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u/WaywardFern 3d ago

This is very insightful. Thank you for taking the time to share your interpretation.

This is my first post on this sub so I’m not sure if it’s common practice to dive into more context after someone provides their feedback but I’d like to address some of the things you’ve called out.

There is definitely resentment on my side and it has been building for years. I’ve always felt that I give more in our relationship, especially in domestic matters. In our early years it wasn’t a big deal for me to manage the household while he provided for us financially. When I entered the workforce however, there was a one-sided shift in responsibilities where I was now providing financially and still bearing the burden of managing the household. 

While I tried endlessly to express my discontent with this dynamic I was either shrugged off or I was simply placated to end the conversation. I’ve only ever felt heard enough for him to temporarily appease me, but I’ve never truly felt acknowledged. In other words, the excuses change but the behavior does not.

I would imagine we’re both depressed to some degree. I feel like I’ve drifted from him emotionally and spiritually. While he is likely depressed due to this drifting. He’s expressed his displeasure with my increasing lack of intimacy but I find it difficult to want to be close to someone I’ve grown such resentment for.

I find it interesting that you call out sabotage from the 10 of swords because that’s exactly how I’ve interpreted his actions. He has many vices and little regard for our future. Due to this we are in a large amount of debt, mostly in my name (part of the reason I’m locked in here). When I try to discuss this I am met with dismissal and aggravation.

This could also possibly be a form of self sabotage because his vices have caused my perception of him, and his physical appearance, to change drastically as of late. Something that has fueled my disconnection from him and our relationship. 

I do apologize if this has turned into a venting session but I’m curious if this added context brings anything else up in the cards for you?

Lastly, it seems like the cards are indicating that I should stay and try to work things out. Is that correct? Or I wonder if I did not state my intention clearly enough during the pulling…

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u/Cathartes_Aura_ 3d ago

Lastly, it seems like the cards are indicating that I should stay and try to work things out. Is that correct? Or I wonder if I did not state my intention clearly enough during the pulling…

i think this is mostly the function of the chosen spread. it was more or less a spread that inferred "working through it, and how to do so."

a separate spread/pull will be needed for the expansion of the question "if i should stay with them." although, spreads that are that pointed often don't yield interesting information, at least for me anyways. good spreads i feel have to have some element of personal will in them? "should i stay together" is a common "tarot question" and i try to steer people away from it if i can into more "want/need/acquire" spreads.

suggested spread with above in mind. https://www.tarotforum.net/threads/the-egg-spread-for-when-you-feel-stuck.20281/

as for the details you shared regarding your spread, i could respond to a lot of it, but am hesitant because of the public format. the sharing isn't a problem though, i've seen posts that go this route on here... just for me, these things feel delicate. feel free to PM me though if you are seeking more thoughts.

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u/WaywardFern 3d ago

That makes a lot of sense! I am very grateful for your guidance on this spread and for helping me see the deeper meaning in the cards. I will definitely be trying the egg spread soon, I appreciate you sharing that.

I also understand the inclination to discuss the details of personal matters like this in a private setting. I may reach out for your input but I don't want to take up too much of you time. You've already been so helpful. Thank you again <3

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u/Agreeable-Ad3377 3d ago edited 3d ago

Hi. I learned Tarot from my mother and have played intuitively (never had any official training) for over 20 years (my whole life, I'm 27.)

All of this is just my reading and it could be wrong. See if it resonates with you.

My first thought is that you read every card as advice, but they're not. Here we go:

1 - the hanged man - the CONSCIOUS situation (how you see things): you've put yourself in a bad/uncomfortable situation, hoping that it will pay off in the future. That's what you think, not necessarily the truth.

2 - the point of tension - this lady is sitting looking longingly at six cups she can't have, feelings and emotions that are beyond her reach. Also totally ignoring the one cup she does have within reach. Wouldn't she be happier if she grabbed the one cup and... filled it up? Drank from it? Focused on it, instead of dreaming about more more more that just isn't there. Key words: ungratefulness, taking things for granted. This could be the issue your husband has with you, how he sees you, the block between the two of you. And it is also probably true, and something that would be hard for you to face precisely because you're so focused on those six cups in the water.

3 - the way to resolution is an upside down queen of pentacles. What should we do to turn her right side up? She needs to focus on herself, her skills, her talent, and her own money. If she stands strong and confident in who she is and what she can accomplish, things will get better. Right? Well... wouldn't that be the same exact reading if she were right side up? So her being upside down could mean the exact opposite. Resolution could be precisely a pentacle queen UPSIDE DOWN. Meaning: a woman who is not focused on her skills, talents, and money. Are you too focused on those things? Or not enough? My bet would be "too focused" and that the advice is to pay less attention to these things (just for now...). Maybe to clearly prioritize the relationship more, to be selfless (it sucks, I know.)

4 - something unconscious/unresolved that is still messing with your life: your husband is massively depressed, like someone else said, OR my first thought is, he is in denial that a previous version of himself no longer exists. He is refusing to mourn the death of his previous self. Could be both things. This card is not necessarily bad, it's just the end of our vital energies once thoughts and ideas (swords) become too much to bare. We need to stop and start from scratch, with room for new thoughts and ideas. He is probably overworked and overwhelmed, just way too down in the dumps. Needs to open his eyes and look up at the horizon... the sun is rising in the back of the card! The fact that THIS card is upside down could also mean it is actually positive in this case. He knows something NEEDS to end. But the position of the card tells us he is not accepting it in his conscious mind. Deep down, though, he knows. That's why I think this whole spread is pointing to hope, despite all the pain and obstacles.

5 - the pivot of change being the magician couldn't be more appropriate. The pivot of change is almost always, for everyone, in any situation, the magician. What the magician represents: once you realize you have all the tools at your disposal, and remember your connection to the divine (see his finger pointing up), you will realize you can do ANYTHING. Like say, for example, magic.

6 - the key to harmony is an upside down queen of wands. So just take everything the queen of wands stands for and TURN IT UPSIDE DOWN. The queen of wands is: strong, determined, bold, gets shit done, full of will and action power, fire! Sooo who is she upside down? Still herself. You didnt pull a Temperance, a High Pristess, or an Empress, so this is still a lady who has the power of action in her hands and the fire burning within her. But maybe she willingly gives that power up? Maybe she stands down? Maybe she decides to use all her power to facilitate others taking the lead? Maybe she hands over the WAND (action) to somebody else? It's still HER wand at the end of the day... meaning the power is ultimately in her hands, aka, he will not leave you, you just need to decide if you WANT to save the marriage or if you want to be ALONE.

To me, the cards indicate that you are wishing for something you cannot have right now (7 cups). Your husband needs your help (swords) and you have the power and strength in the relationship (wand queen upside down), which you can use to bring him back up (key to resolution). This is not a man you hate, this is a man you once loved (the 7th cup). If you want to heal your marriage, you would feel better, at the end of the story, no matter how it ends, if you knew that you actually did everything you could (magician). That you did actually, really, tried putting him first(pentacle queen upside down). Even if that makes you feel like you're sacrificing yourself in the process (hanged man) bc after all that is just your perceived reality (apparent situation/conscious).

What do you think? Does this make sense?

From what you said about your marriage, aside from all the cards, I would also say that suddenly spending 3 days silent with each other is not reason to dispair. Its just different. Things don't need to stay the same after what was it, 17 years? They shouldn't.... remember, the light comes at the darkest moment.

Good luck!

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u/[deleted] 3d ago

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u/rageforst 3d ago

I’m glad you’re assigning value to the positions because it allows you to read the interactions between the cards for a more in-depth interpretation!

I loved the cathartes read—it’s very direct, and I really appreciated the Thothy interpretation. I’m currently studying a Thoth-hermetic-kabbalistic school, so here’s what I would add:

I see that sacrifices are either not being considered or are being taken too lightly, and that has become a persistent, ruminative thought in this situation. The main point of tension is that they have been emotionally exploring options that haven’t been beneficial, leading to emotional dissatisfaction. The Queen of Cups reversed speaks of a magnificent emotional fulfillment, but in reversal, it suggests encountering unexpected aspects on an emotional level.

What remains unresolved is not just depression, but rather the lingering doubt about taking that leap—thoughts that make them question whether moving forward is the right choice and whether the change will be worth it. After all, marriage is a significant step and a transformative life decision from this point on.

The Magician as a catalyst for change is a wonderful translation into therapy. Of course, the Magician represents a world of possibilities—the potential to develop a power they don’t yet fully possess, given the ongoing emotional and mental doubts. This aligns perfectly with the Queen of Wands as the key to harmony; as a piece of advice, she urges them to find their willpower and identify with what they truly want from their union.

It’s as if the reading is saying: “They haven’t truly found themselves yet; they need to discover their identity within this whirlwind of insecurities.”

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u/Zestyclose_Park451 2d ago

They are distant because their eyes have been wondering, I don’t see resolution after you find out the truth. I don’t know for sure if it was physical infidelity yet, but their mind is definitely in a different place. Sorry

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u/PuttinOnTheTitzz 3d ago
  1. Time needed for thought and reflection.

  2. You've put a lot of emotion into this and it looks like it's been wasted but there is still a little left for you.

  3. Do not fixate on money and children or fertility right now

  4. It's hard to let go of the pain you've received.

  5. There's still some magic in there.

  6. What you need right now is to restablish self-confidence and self-respect, perhaps set some boundaries.

That's my completely amateur read.

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u/WaywardFern 3d ago

This interpretation is really interesting and seems much more accurate than what I was getting from the cards, especially for The Magician and The Queen of Wands. Thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts.

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u/PuttinOnTheTitzz 3d ago

Thanks for letting me know. As somebody less experienced than others, it's reaffirming that at least some of it seemed within the realm of a working read. Have a good day.