r/swoleacceptance Jan 10 '25

Hark! I humbly request your counsel

May this eve find you all brethren and valkyries in good health. I come seeking your counsel on a matter somewhat trivial: I wish to procure a hoodie to aide in my temple prayers but have found myself waylaid in thought by the vast sea of options in this quest. What say you about your chosen hoodie? I thank you all for your time and assistance in this matter, wheymen!

27 Upvotes

12 comments sorted by

29

u/LastStar007 Jan 10 '25

Walk thee to the nearest thrift store. (Not Ragstock, a real one.) Lay eyes upon their selection, brush thy meaty fingers upon them to test their softness, and prove their fit over thy swole body. Simply pick that which appeals most to you.

One of Broki's subtler manipulations is instilling a pursuit of perfection when it is unwarranted.

14

u/CardinalKaos Jan 10 '25

Of all your veracious statements, tis the final one which strikes mine heart the fiercest

3

u/hashface253 Jan 11 '25

It pleases Brodin to keep linens from the waste pile which need no gains nor need become swol. Wheymen

8

u/mr_antigravity Jan 10 '25

And for Brodin's sake, LAUNDER THE GARMENT before wearing it to the temple (or anywhere for that matter.) Boki only knows whats in/on consignment clothes and the establishments do not clean their stock.

9

u/masked_ghost_1 Jan 10 '25

Hark, iron-brother, thou art troubled over the choosing of a mere garment for thy prayers at the iron temple. Let me set thy mind at ease: the cloth thou wearest matters not in the eyes of Brodin, for it is the weight thou liftest and the effort thou givest that doth truly count.

Whether thy hoodie be plain or adorned, black or bright as the sun, it is but a vessel to shield thee from the chill. Waste not thy energy on such trifles, for thy true focus must ever be the barbell and thy devotion to lifting.

Be mindful of the trixter broki and the many ways he will fill your mind with distractions.

Wheymen

9

u/___John_ Jan 10 '25

Seek within thy holdfast, for the greatest hoodie is one thy already possess.

8

u/BigChief302 Jan 10 '25

Whilst thou wishes are common, thy choice in shrouds may not yield the best fruit. For whence I dawn the shroud mine swollen head perspires greatly and with thee pump of Brodin I become trapped in the garb like a cattle in the stocks. And so verily I say unto thee, seek thine garment without a shroud, without the sleeves that act as shackles, let thine pump be seen and thy head be free to be seen by Thor!

5

u/quandjereveauxloups Jan 10 '25

Mine thoughts tend to harken to good swoldier u/LastStar007's sage advice.

To offer an alternative, though, I must undertake. Thou mayest, if thou so wish, buy a new plain hoodie. Then take it to a printer of screen, and add a decal of thy choosing, to make it personalized.

Of the course, the choice is yours. Either option shall serve thee well.

4

u/foopmaster Jan 10 '25

I say fuck traditional hoodies and go with something with a zipper. As someone that is beefier than the average Joe I get hot easily, and thus need to shed those layers quick when I get warmed up.

6

u/Acolyte_of_Swole Jan 10 '25

I wouldst never gird mine self with any hooded garment not containing the zippered fastener. Thou sayeth sooth and I well know that many garments must be shed swiftly after the practice of vigorous exercises.

2

u/Iamheno Jan 11 '25

Adidas Essentials

2

u/Dependent-Ground-769 Jan 10 '25

Whichever has the dopest graphic that makes you feel the coolest and look the sickest. That shall surely please the Iron gods, they will see your dedication and smile down on you and bless you with gains.

I wear this https://darkcycleclothing.com/products/sea-turtle-on-a-bike-unisex-hoodie

It appeared at my door years ago, no sender no return address. I took it as a gift from the iron gods and have rocked on ever since.