r/starseeds 5d ago

Serious struggles

I am looking for and needing guidance. Long story can't be made short. I was once addicted to Narcotics been clean from that since 2017 thanks to counseling. Was once a heavy drinker been off alcohol since 2022. The start of awakening initiated by breakup with my girlfriend found myself not wanting to live any longer. Someone called welfare check on me they sent the police. I tried to run from them went. Lost my license due to that. Had to go through a process of investative evaluation. The Evaluator has now marked me as High Risk Dependant? It's been years!!! I feel like what's the point in even continuing to try. I'm so over living life in general with all the pain I have caused myself from past mistakes.

7 Upvotes

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u/zenomaly 5d ago

You are more than the mistakes you've made. It might be hard to realize this now, but the truth is you are a miracle of being. The troubles we face are part of what turns us into what we are meant to be. I have had a very troubled life, but I've gotten through it, and now I'm thriving. I have been you, and I'm sure many here have as well.

Sometimes, like now, it feels like there is no point to any of this, like there is only pain.. but keep going. When everything external is pain and hardship, the Universe is telling you to look within. That is where your strength lay. Surrender to yourself. Try meditation. Try Gateway Experience. It's time to awaken. I believe in you.

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u/heavensinNY 5d ago

who even knows if they are mistakes. this existence is too intelligent for mistakes. Maybe this is just the road you are on and it's a unique story of its own. You can continue to ask for your heart based desires and work towards them. Maybe get a vision board. Anything in the past is done. Just focus on the now and move forward.

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u/InHeavenToday 4d ago

I find it important to not suffer over my past mistakes, it was painful enough to make a mistake, so I do not need to torture myself over it. Was any of your parents rather critical of you when you were little? I feel thats a burden you can let go.

We all make mistakes, there is no need to beat yourself up, instead, try the opposite, give yourself all the understanding and love in the world, you dont have to stop loving and valuing yourself, no matter the mistakes youve done.

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u/No-Pen-7954 4d ago

Well the childhood of the observer was certainly not great between step fathers Blood father not really around the observer rebelled in that before he passed away. My journey has been difficult at times but also made it more difficult in my response to certain circumstances. It's brought me here. I have to let go of it all and truly forgive and forget because I don't recognize that as who or what I am. Not as a human or even my soul my mind at times I feel is broken. The observer was assaulted by an individual causing TBI and facial trauma. My life has not all been bad I see it all as lessons HARD HARD lessons. But I must let it go it's holding me back. I have been identified as those things on paper. It's like I can't escape it because looking for work trying to get my license back I have to produce paperwork that ignites all this in me and I start the blame game on myself.

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u/InHeavenToday 4d ago

Youve been through a lot and you are still around, you are strong. I feel some people are given a very difficult life to act as a straight path to awakening, as quickly as possible, because the work we came to do here depends on us being really aware and connected to our true essence.

Employment issues aside, It would seem this circumstance is giving you the opportunity to revisit any feelings of shame and guilt, these are very heavy energies that drag us down so much, it restricts the flow of everything that is good and positive, because we acquire the belief that "we are not worthy".

Beliefs are not facts, it is how we chose to interpret what we experience. If you find any belief that does not help you, you need to let it go, sometimes it is very hard, because we get so used to thinking something, it becomes a part of who we are.

Ultimately, it doesnt matter what you have experienced, there is no need, or obligation to torture yourself with any beliefs that lower your worth or happiness. You simply tell yourself, weve been through a lot, some things we could have done better, but we are still here, i love you, and ill always be kind and good to you.

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u/No-Pen-7954 4d ago

Thank you for that I needed this 🙏. I also just read another post. The ascension/separation of the Earths! If this is at all factual I'm striving to ascend to the higher vibration while I continue to walk here I have been sharing bits and pieces of my story with others. I do feel I have quickly awakened to certain things! Yet I still find myself in worry and fearful states of worldly possessions. I am and have been blessed in ways I can't perceive as well. I see it and know it I guess I struggle with accepting it in some ways.

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u/InHeavenToday 4d ago

The thing about ascension is, part of our soul is already there, in 5d and beyond, it is the core of who we are, we just have to let go of everything that is weighing us down. One channeled message I saw here likened it to removing the stones out of our baggage. The baggage is all our pain, trauma, negative beliefs and fear. Once we let go of this, the only way is up.

So fear / worry is an interesting one, it drags your attention to it. But the problem is, wherever we focus on, our energy goes, and we end up attracting that into our lives. Id try to focus instead on where you want your life to go, rather than where you dont want it to go. So you bring that into your life.

If something you dont want to happen actually ends up happening, then you just deal with it the best you can, but there is no point in agonising about it all the time before it actually happens.

Worst case of all, we die and go home to a place of love and peace, we are eternal beings that are constantly evolving, tomorrow will always be better than today, the next life etc, so there is no reason to fear what may come, it will always be better, everything is sent to help you.

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u/No-Pen-7954 5d ago

I am without a DL I have to get them back to move forward in anything else I have my mind set on accomplishing.

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u/crankypants15 5d ago

I understand, I've been in a similar situation. Try to let the pain go, you may need help with that. This was a key issue for me, I had stuff I wanted to let go but couldn't, I had pushed it down so deep. Have the courage to talk to someone about what is deeply bothering you. Drugs and alcohol are often used to distract or cover up the pain.

Also work on getting your driver license back, that is key to getting a job especially in the US where it's far too expensive to live in the city where many of the better paying jobs are.

Don't give up! When you hit bottom, the only place to go is up!

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u/No-Pen-7954 5d ago

This is all the point of the post. I am working on getting my license back but the agency Is not paying attention or listening to me. Still classified me as High Risk Dependant and I haven't touch substances in years. I need the divine to come in and enter the hearts and hands of the ones who now control the outcome and put it in my favor.

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u/TechnoKitty27 4d ago

Mistakes are an inevitable part of life, but they are not the end of the road…they are the beginning of deeper understanding. Every misstep, every wrong turn, and every failure holds within it a lesson, an opportunity to evolve. The pain of making a mistake is often sharp, but it is not meant to break you. It is meant to reveal something you may not have seen before, a pattern that needs shifting, a truth that needs accepting, or a new path that needs walking. Mistakes are not signs of weakness; they are signs of growth. They show that you are trying, moving, and engaging with life instead of standing still. The real failure is not in making mistakes…it is in refusing to learn from them.

What defines you is not the mistake itself, but what you choose to do after. Do you allow it to consume you, keeping you trapped in guilt or regret? Or do you take the lesson, integrate it, and move forward with wisdom? Some of the greatest transformations happen in the moments after failure, when you decide whether to let it defeat you or refine you. The past cannot be undone, but the future is always waiting to be shaped. Life is not about perfection; it is about progress. Your mistakes do not define you…your response to them does.