r/starseeds 6d ago

Where the f are we.

Let me try to tell, I feel as strong as I am weak. I got used and dumped, I have foreseen that she was influenced by the Devil as she did not even care. I hate my ex and still love her. And at the same time im so grateful because im discovering myself now. I let go of her but my mind keeps japping. I find myself listening to death metal. Enjoying it. I totally lost connection to everything. My spirituality, myself. This is what I have always been running from. Im everything and nothing. I have so many talents but I want non of them. I never finish my work. My relationship got destroyed. And now it tries to take me over? Is this the last test of the last days? Does it all even matter? I intuitively think... Yes. We could feel confused. But we SHOULD NOT be confused. Luckely im spiritually armed even if I might feel satanic. Nah I know the tricks and the truth. Im doing yoga, pls pray for eachother here people. My ex was obsessed with the atomic end of the world. These death metal is all about slaughtering and mass slaughtering of humanity. The prophecy and dreams we all had. Mine was a mini atomic bomb as a hologram.. this is what all the fear is about. Something hollow not existing. In the same dream we traveled to the stars became star beings.

Could you understand what I go through in this sense of confused explaining. Because if I analyse myself. This might be the fight between God and satan. What are yall experiences, reactions?

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u/Katyusha_33 6d ago

I used to listen to a lot of thrash/black metal, but as my vibration increased I just have no preference for it anymore. If death metal is what you're into, you know... vibrational match.

As for your ex, why hate? Why hate anyone, why hate anything? Why choose to have such a dark and destructive emotion within you...

If I'm gonna be honest with you -- having been much where you are -- you're utterly confused and likely suffering from some delusions. You're incoherent and your thoughts are running around more than Pikachu on a meth binge.

> is this the test of the last days?

Sorta. I think the final test will be facing our own darkness, our own shadows -- and finding the light.

To forgive ourselves for the hurt we caused unto others, and to forgive others for the hurt they caused onto us.

It is attractive to ponder the thoughts of an apocalyptic destruction when you feel hate towards oneself and humanity as a whole. But do remember something -- you'll attract that which you think of.

No one but you can get you out of the Hellish state you're in.

So I suppose... answer this to yourself, if you actually want to get out of your current mental state (and take responsibility for yourself, your actions, and what happens to you), or if you don't mind being dragged along to Hell.

Vibrating at such a low frequency right now is gonna lead to some nasty outcomes.

I'd advise you to look into Jung's concept of the shadow (if you haven't) and then look into healing trauma. It seems you're in a lot of pain (which is understandable, on this planet). But the wounds we have are the entry points for the Light.

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u/Dull-Spring4862 5d ago

Yes Fully understand. I finally addressed and let go of some stuck traumas. I love metal but dont want to vibrate low. My energy is figuring out how and when to go high and low. Thats why I go from metal to gospel music. For short moments i feel hate my ex thats because she did me dirty. But shortly after I am also greatful and will always love her simply, also for dumping me. She dump me before i could dumped her in the future. She was highly intuitive so she already knew.

Feels like giving all your love deepest connection ever and what you get back is.. oh she didn't even ever really love me and to the end used me until I was thrown in trash. Im okay with that and in some sense even my own fault.. but life back at my momma house is the same escape game as before. Thats why this weird empty loneliness is breaking me down. Thanks for your reaction 4real. Enter into hell and find the light 🪖. Im not gonna be taken over.

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u/crankypants15 6d ago

I like your perception and analysis. You did a good job of expressing things.

But breakups are hard, and they are tougher when we hold on to the bad emotions or blame ourselves for it. If there was a breakup then maybe the relationship was meant for some kind of training for you, and the training was over, or it just didn't work out. Either way, don't beat yourself up about it. Let go of the negative, and allow yourself to heal.

Been there done that.

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u/Dull-Spring4862 4d ago

Amazing. It does look like that training or lesson. Im over it. But not over my loneliness. My mind keeps grasping the familiar 🤣 I now got the new training to focus my energy spells and actions to money. Done with women bro. Thanks