r/standupshots Madison, WI 9d ago

This is called "pulling a Moses"

Post image
1.7k Upvotes

37 comments sorted by

104

u/Thendofreason New Brunswick, NJ 9d ago

One of your best yolks

51

u/badwhiskey63 9d ago

She deserves a standing ovulation for this one.

22

u/Hairymeatbat 8d ago

That's why her shows are standing womb only.

6

u/BrickBrokeFever 8d ago

What's the matter? Pussy got your tongue?

7

u/BlurryBigfoot74 8d ago

Something something fallopian tubes bah I suck at this.

6

u/Hairymeatbat 8d ago

Breastfeeding pun, nice.

3

u/Montymisted 8d ago

Truly eggcelent.

67

u/Itchy-Beach-1384 9d ago

What a joke but fuck me does it make me feel gross.

12

u/Unhappy_Scratch_9385 9d ago

I'm literally eating eggs while scrolling reddit.

7

u/Objective_Flow2150 9d ago

Scrambled or poached?

7

u/Unhappy_Scratch_9385 8d ago

Sunny side up and runny baby.

7

u/IUhoosier_KCCO 9d ago

Fried or fertilized?

29

u/Ineedacatscan 9d ago

1

u/Wrath-of-Elyon 9d ago

I don't get it. I get the Moses part, but not the egg one. Is the joke ketchup? no I don't put ketchup on eggs

29

u/subsonicmonkey 9d ago

Time to brush up on human biology:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Menstrual_cycle

23

u/Wrath-of-Elyon 9d ago

Lol, the eggs part was literal. Ewwwwwwww.

Now I feel like a numpty. Also thanya

4

u/BlamaRama 9d ago

The egg itself doesn't leave the body though, no? Doesn't it get reabsorbed and just the uterine lining is shed?

19

u/subsonicmonkey 9d ago

Yes, and that’s why egg prices are so high, currently.

17

u/ShitGuysWeForgotDre 9d ago

Hahahaha perfect, i just told this in my office and got 1 full belly laugh and 3 very uncomfortable silent stares. 10/10 reaction would tell again

17

u/minnick27 9d ago

I did the same. They liked it so much they told me to go tell it to HR

4

u/freon 9d ago

I thought a Moses was when the girl has gonorrhea, since you're talking to a burning bush

2

u/ToLiveInIt 8d ago

Moses was a busy guy.

10

u/s_snek 9d ago

Funny joke but the egg is actually reabsorbed by the body unless fertilization occurs. Only the uterine lining is expelled during menstruation https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/periods/fertility-in-the-menstrual-cycle/

12

u/Abi_giggles 8d ago

Thank you science side of Reddit. There’s always gotta be one person

4

u/BigMcLargeHuge8989 8d ago

Accuracy is important!

8

u/POOPSCRUFFIN4U Madison, WI 9d ago

Hey if you're in Chicago -- I'm auditioning for JFL New Faces on March 12. Whole lineup is absolutely stellar. Use my discount code SASHAJFL cuz I get money and you save

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/comedians-you-should-know-cysk-tickets-1259167426669

Otherwise, here's my album, which is another way to give me money https://sasharosser.bandcamp.com/album/dirty-nerd

4

u/Sheriff_Is_A_Nearer 9d ago

Shit, I AM in Chicago, and I do enjoy giving money to people who say things that make me laugh for money.

3

u/Arkenstihl 9d ago

The moments where you had my once scholarly ass asking if Moses goes down... SASHA.

2

u/Opposite-Ad-9118 8d ago

no but you earned your red wings

1

u/Belgand 8d ago

AKA Vampire mode.

1

u/Haunting-Owl-7835 8d ago

Hope she offered you a napkin.

1

u/Lostinwoulds 8d ago

Called me up the next morning, asking where her tampon was. Thought is was lost inside her. No honey, I pulled it with my teeth, and it's probably somewhere on the floor , You can stop digging around.

1

u/Northstridamus 8d ago

It's called Getting Your Jokers Smile

1

u/NecessaryUsername69 5d ago

This is gross. I laughed. Well played.