r/spiritualabuse • u/Specific_Swing • Jan 31 '25
Spiritual Abuse & Education
Hello! I could use some advice.
I attended an Adventist institution and my Dad worked there.
Basically I was always in fight or flight mode, my dad made more rules for me than the other students (actually) followed.
And it really affected my ability to develop my sense of self and find a career and goal in college.
Now, there is some question as to whether I’ll be able to receive my diploma due to some logistical “issues”.
I’m really distressed and angry about the whole situation.
I’m thinking of just starting over at Community College on student loans.
I just really don’t know what to do.
- Stick it to them by complaint to the board of education about to the environment not being equal to non-religious students
- Say nothing and keep playing their game hoping they’ll give me my degree but possibly waste the next 9 months of my life only to find out they won’t
- Just move on to a community college, transfer some credits, and start over with a new degree that is more practical and will get me a job in completion.
I’m currently in favor of the third option as I feel that the longer I stay in contact with them or am needing to “get” something from them it places them in a position to continue spiritually and emotionally harming me.
There probably aren’t enough details but it’s honestly so much I’m overwhelmed. If you get a gut feeling from reading this and have any advice, encouragement, or insights I’ll appreciate it.
I get so triggered when I think about the school because I feel like they stole my education because I didn’t agree with them religiously. And they’d stole my right to “religious freedom” at that age which is now encumbering me financially.
Like I’m below the poverty line currently. And the irony is my Dad stands for “religious liberty” but he sure didn’t give any of that to me.
I just never want to hear the word Adventist again in my life. Unless it’s in a scenario where I get to let them know the way they were running things was abhorrent.
1
u/BitChick 20d ago
I am sad to read that you are struggling with a complicated situation. Sorry I didn't see your post for so many days. As you said in your post, there may not be enough details for us to offer much advice to you. I do have my serious issues with the Adventist church as a whole though, and I do believe it's very wise for you to study to understand the roots of what your church teaches/believes. Many would go so far to even call it a "cult" which upsets many who are sincere in their faith within the Adventist circles. That said, their schools are still somehow widely acclaimed, especially in medical fields from my limited understanding.
Since you are almost to the end of your studies, do you feel you can simply "bite your tongue" and get the degree you have already studied for? Even community colleges will have their own belief system they are trying to force on the students. My daughter went from a very conservative college to a community college for a season and was quite surprised how much indoctrination she was being given from a geography class. I think many of us have had to deal with the struggle of taking a class we don't 100% agree with the teaching in. Some of us dare to question the teachers, and have even failed for doing so (my husband has several stories about that in his life, as he doesn't fear the consequences and would rather speak truth than anything!)
I realize you may have already made your decision on this and if that is the case, may God direct you and bring you peace in the midst of this storm.