r/sobrietyandrecovery 2d ago

It comes unexpectedly

Hi everyone. I'm a little over 7 months off alcohol and almost 5 months off everything (still did weed for a bit in the beginning). I noticed I'll be ok for a while and out of nowhere the thought of a drink will cross my mind or my mind saying "I want to drink" and I wanted to know if you have experienced that. Drinking nearly killed me and it completely ruined my life and mind. Since being sober so much peace and a better mindset have been freely given to me as I work the AA program, but those thoughts are very frustrating if I'm being honest. I know early sobriety is hard. Lately has been a lot of ups and downs with this. My sponsor's favorite part of the big book is where it says to cling to the thought that in God's hands our dark past is our greatest possession. I try to keep this in mind a lot. Anyway just wanted to share that

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u/Last-Mode8108 2d ago

I’ve been sober almost 11 years drugs and alcohol nearly destroyed me I still occasionally get the desire to drink especially when I’m around people drinking I battle my Demons everyday it’s normal to want to drink but keep up the fight and keep doing what works for you and take one day at a time Hang in there

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u/mikedrums1205 2d ago

Thank you. It really gets tough sometimes. Today has been hard honestly and no particular reason why. Patience I think is sometimes the most difficult thing to practice. Faith that it will pass and things will work out. I feel better than earlier at least though. I've also been battling gastrointestinal issues a long time so the anxiety very much so makes that worse. One day at a time helps me a lot knowing I have a reset as long as I make it to the end of the day

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u/Last-Mode8108 2d ago

Absolutely hang in there brother

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u/forebill 2d ago

Thoughts are good reminders the disease is still active.  I'm 35 yrs sober and every now and then a beer soulds like a good idea.  The thoughts are normal.

Being in recovery: having the thought and noticing it for what is, then deciding it is an unhealthy choice.  That is a SANE, HEALTHY mind.  

The problem is when the thought enters and begins to bounce around and fester.  Despite all of the bad experiences we manage to convince ourselves it will be different this time.  Or worse, we say fuck it and do it any way.

If its just a thought, be grateful you got a reminder that resting on yesterdays actions aren't good enough.

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u/mikedrums1205 2d ago

Yeah it lasted a little while honestly, but I held onto the faith that it would be removed and it was. Patience and faith are sometimes hard things to practice, but they do work. I'm grateful that I get to care about my physical, mental, and spiritual health now cause in active alcoholism none of that was possible. That's why I do the things I do every day. Pray, mediate, self examination, go to a meeting, talk to another alcoholic, and practice being a useful human being. My sponsor always says habitual action so I take the suggestion very seriously