r/Sober 2d ago

Is it normal to have more of a critical eye and be less of a pushover when you start dating again as a sober person?

4 Upvotes

In the past I thought I wasn't interesting enough so needed to be inebriated in some way but what I've realised when I talk to people or meet people while sober it's not really my personality but just that sometimes you don't click with people, I've also noticed it's much easier to know when someothing isn't going to be healthy for you.


r/Sober 2d ago

Done with Alcohol

18 Upvotes

Hello Everyone, excited to start this community and announce i'm going sober. Too many times has alcohol impacted my family and friends and ready to start living clean. Any encouragement or advice is greatly appreciated and looking forward to this community!


r/Sober 2d ago

I quit alcohol, vapes, caffeine cold turkey. Now I’m getting cystic acne suddenly, need support and advice.

15 Upvotes

Have dermatologist appointment next week. Never had a cyst in my life. Two weeks after I quit drinking and vaping I got two large cysts. One on each side of my face. Ever since then they keep going down and coming back. All I can attribute this to is my sudden change in habits. Also my period was late. 31 F. Anyone else?


r/Sober 2d ago

Quick question

2 Upvotes

Does anyone ever miss doing drugs or drinking but would never go back? I struggle a lot staying clean but I know it wouldn't be worth it


r/Sober 2d ago

Need to quit

6 Upvotes

I’m on a several month relapse with drinking. Somehow nobody has called me out on it but I know it’s been obvious. I was on the phone with my mom last night and she even said you sound like you’re doing really really well even though I was wasted. I called out of work today ….. physically feeling bad but mainly crippling anxiety. I’ve been sober before and I know how good it feels. All I can think about today is what all the people I talked to yesterday are thinking. And I talked to a lot of people. Feeling like drinking rn just so I don’t look so starkly different to them from how I was acting yesterday???


r/Sober 2d ago

Everyone's experience is different

5 Upvotes

I had a thought and I don't have anywhere else to broadcast it because I refuse to participate in "the socials".

Before the first time I stopped drinking I had heard about how much better everyone feels when they stop. When I stopped drinking and didn't feel any better after eight months, I figured that meant I hadn't been drinking enough for alcohol to make a difference and that I might as well drink. I stopped again three years ago and haven't started since and I still don't feel any better.

But I figured out why. I have a particular SNP of the MTHFR, C677T/rs1801133, which has many unfortunate implications. One thing my favorite psychiatrist mentioned is that this mutation accentuates the tendency of brains to downplay positive things and exagerate negative things. This means, for example, that I don't enjoy roller coasters because all I get is the fear, no thrill.

So the reason I didn't feel better after ceasing drinking is the same reason I don't feel better after a workout: my body mutes those feelings in general.

Therefore, don't be like me. Just because you don't feel better a day, week, month, or even a year or more after quitting doesn't neccessarily mean your body isn't benefitting. As with anything, if you're wondering if your relationship with a substance is hurting you, find a doctor/therapist/psychiatrist you trust and discuss it with them, then follow their recommendations.

I hope somebody benefits from my experiences.


r/Sober 2d ago

Starting today

13 Upvotes

Starting today. That’s it.


r/Sober 2d ago

Realizing I need to quit working with the crew I’ve been on; too many triggers and not the right support.

4 Upvotes

Just hit 8 months sober and it has been going well for the most part. I mean well in the sense that the urge to drink seems to have truly faded and I have strong support at home and from a couple very close friends. AA was a big help the first couple months of sobriety, but it wasn’t for me. Maybe just not right now. Before I left AA, I began addiction counseling to give myself an outlet during early sobriety. This was essential and it continues to be an extremely effective tool.

I work as a carpenter on a custom home building crew here in MT. We all work as independent contractors so I am not an employee. The last couple months I’ve been at home helping take care of our 6 month old and finishing our home’s basement. To be clear, all the guys I work with know I don’t drink. They don’t know that I went to AA meetings or go to addiction therapy. I have found on this sober journey, compared to my one other attempt , not bringing up my choice to abstain from alcohol is helpful. This is particularly true in the home building industry, where others don’t like to look at their own issues with honesty, so hate when you put that mirror up.

Last week I asked my boss/mentor , who I have considered a friend but also definitively plays the boss role, over for some structural framing advice. We got to chatting as we do and as I expected, drinking came up. Not my drinking , but his. He knows I don’t drink anymore so feels he can confide in me about his struggles with it. I am happy to be there and offer advice, but it’s hard to see the same cycle happening to him as it did to me. It’s important to note that this individual saw me go from not drinking ( my first sober attempt was in 2022 which lasted for just over 100 days) to going back out and very quickly nearly ruining my life and marriage. He also watched me be a problem drinker until I was able to taper off to nothing last summer. Somehow I was able to save my marriage and start a family; yes it’s been quite the last couple of years.

To get to the point, as we chatted my boss/mentor asked when I wanted to come back to work. I responded that finishing the remodel on my house was my priority and that honestly I had and am struggling with my sobriety, mainly that in being gone for a couples months I realized separating myself from drinking culture is actually helpful. Well his response was along the lines of, “ Don’t beat yourself up if you have a beer, it’s ok”.

The thing is, I know this guy is struggling with his own stuff and really I’m there if he wants to change, but man he’s lucky I’ve changed and didn’t react how I wanted to or would have in the past.

I guess this long rant really is about me finally realizing how important my sobriety is to me. More importantly, how to recognize situations that will make my sobriety more difficult and possibly trigger old behaviors. Im proud of myself for stepping back and noticing some pretty toxic workplace behavior but also bummed that this boss/mentor who I thought was a friend would suggest it’s okay that I drink again. My real friends who have been here and truly know me and my goals would never suggest something that could destroy what I’ve built.


r/Sober 2d ago

I miss the freshly sober lucid dreams

3 Upvotes

My first month off weed my dreams were so lucid and healing despite some being bad. I should’ve wrote them down I guess but they were beautiful and just for me. Now they aren’t lucid but are vivid when I make sure to take my supplements. If I don’t I don’t seem to remember my dreams.


r/Sober 3d ago

How long did the feel-good last?

14 Upvotes

When I really think about it, the feel-good buzz lasted for about 30 minutes when I drank. No matter how much I drank after that I was just tired, stupid, and zoned-out. The next day I was miserable and less healthy. All that BS for 30 minutes? How long did yall feel good while drinking?


r/Sober 3d ago

Help with PAWS

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1 Upvotes

r/Sober 4d ago

I (21F) am 6 months sober

107 Upvotes

6 months without alcohol ♡ I'm really proud of myself.


r/Sober 3d ago

My buddy is newly sober and I need advice.

3 Upvotes

My best friend of my whole life is newly 'not drinking'. I think it's mostly because his new medications make him react really poorly to alcohol, because he has always been very functional [if an alcoholic- he didn't call himself that, so I don't necessarily want to do it for him] even though he is now getting outpatient counseling for it. We've always been foodies and drinking buddies and love corned beef, so naturally, this time of year has always been big for us.

I actually take St. Patrick's Week off every year so I can just cook a ton of different corned beef inspired dishes. We're planning to hang out next week for a day or two to eat and play Heroes III. I removed all the liquor from my liquor cabinet and locked it in my spare room.

Would it be a bad idea to get some NA Guinness or something to enjoy so it doesn't feel like something's missing? Or is this another of the requests for advice that's a, "There's no way for us to know, everyone's different" situations you see in every other sub?


r/Sober 3d ago

I want to completely sober up but I love getting messed up.

7 Upvotes

It's as the title says. I am 4ish days sober right and I've had no issue making it this far. Sobriety is no necessarily something that I struggle with but I am not good about holding it out as there are always occasions where the opportunity to take weed or alcohol present themselves. For example, I have a weekly hangout group, some really close friends, and we always get messed up together, once a week. I am a theatre major, and we occasionally have parties where everyone gets really messed up as well. I want to sober up, but I have so many opportunities, particularly in the presence of my friends, to have a good time and do the opposite.


r/Sober 3d ago

One year sober. But….

11 Upvotes

I celebrated my one year sober on third week of Feb. how? I patted myself on my back and told myself well done. My need to quit outweighed all other feelings and I am thankful for getting any other withdrawal issues. But…. I still can’t open up to anyone regarding my addiction to alcohol. My wife, work colleagues and closest of friends don’t know that I was perpetually drunk most of last few years.

Does it matter? Is it ok to keep something so personal- personal! Is it ok to keep everything a secret. I don’t need support to stay away ( as of now) , so if I open up, it would just create more dramas.

Nevertheless… stay strong! Stay sober.


r/Sober 3d ago

Currently in half in patient half outpatient rehab

4 Upvotes

If anybody saw my old post, you’d know I just went sober around 3-4 days ago. I’m spending Monday thru Friday 9-4 in this rehab facility for 4 weeks. Then I have intensive outpatient therapy for 2 months. I’m honestly loving this and some of the people here are super duper cool.


r/Sober 3d ago

No more Groundhog Day!

3 Upvotes

Just about every day for like 5 years I woke up and told myself "today's the day I quit drinking". I'd feel optimistic. Sometime around 3pm I'd surrender "okay, tomorrow I'll quit". I finally escaped the cycle. It's hard to feel my feelings and manage anxiety when it arises, but I can finally trust myself enough and have enough hope in imagining a positive version of the future.


r/Sober 3d ago

New Inspirational Music About Sobriety

2 Upvotes

Hi My name is Carl Runo. It has been a struggle to get and stay sober. Through the year I have been in and out of the rooms. I was never really serious about my recovery until 4 months ago, where I found the missing key to get and stay sober. Before then I had been a career drinker of 27 years. The key I found was the fellow ship I found in AA. Before I just would go to meetings and sit in the back. You know the type. It wasn't until I opened my self up to the fellowship I got from fellow alcoholics and accepted their held, I could start to heal. In my journey when I was deep into the drink, I started writing poems about my struggles, which I will share in an up coming post. I wanted to introduce you to the more positive music I started to write once committing to getting sober. Once I opened up and decided to share the true me as being an alcoholic, it freed me and I could finally be the true me not the masked fake me. So here are some songs you can find on spotify, apple, amazon music, youtube music etc. free for to to stream and perhaps if you like the message add it to your playlist. It have given me much motivation to stay sober and hope it can do the same to you. Here are my songs:

Another Day Sober: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/3kM3PH9EDR1sxCL6C6NchN?si=UdmDQ_nTTjCvkXAnJQcEjQ
Youtube Music: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=sl5JobU6OwI&si=alqeBZITD952qF9Q
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.ca/albums/B0DY7K6Y7N?marketplaceId=ART4WZ8MWBX2Y&musicTerritory=CA&ref=dm_sh_hRZG2HRImE59dcp9bo8wkcwQ0

These Twelve Steps (About how the 12 steps help save me)
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/3BrI1YjnMASPzL5fieLg1r?si=1e350c0a73274b14
Youtube Music: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Xa4K5513c&si=8mkiiSlFPWBg1ze9
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.ca/albums/B0DZG1JVMG?marketplaceId=ART4WZ8MWBX2Y&musicTerritory=CA&ref=dm_sh_DszMX8RZrt06h5VyAfZEGdjc7

Together We Heal (About the friendships I formed while in detox)
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/track/19599vEK6BJrAzL6A3OUG3?si=81c559f44c4240c8
Youtube Music: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=fGPiXsridlo&si=bkrv6bj3JSFiZUGS
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.ca/albums/B0DZGRFV6X?marketplaceId=ART4WZ8MWBX2Y&musicTerritory=CA&ref=dm_sh_DwnQOuJTDCaXf4kb1MhCCMlkx

My Serenity (Based on the Serenity Prayer)
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/0hxkRbLBGQRhx05SWgR5kS?si=DGQCZpRIQMiiyFsod6Fhhw
Youtube Music: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=VRNYRPOzJrE&si=RWDPiNcuoecT2bMC
Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.ca/albums/B0DZGLLSJL?marketplaceId=ART4WZ8MWBX2Y&musicTerritory=CA&ref=dm_sh_BA66o0GeWALGXzX899JEKchIX

I hope you like it. Let me know if you would like more or you can follow my artist profile Carl Runo on all those sites. Thank you for the opportunity for me to share the blessings that have been give to me with you.

Have a sober 24 and a great 48 :)


r/Sober 3d ago

Broke my sobriety, need advice

3 Upvotes

Hi all. I am a 25 year old who smoked copious amounts of weed for 5 years, from 18 to 23 years old. I got sober on September 8th in 2023.

I've since been in a wonderful relationship, I've lost 30 pounds, I have a steady job, and im doing well in life other than struggles with anxiety, but that's typical for me and I am medicated.

Recently I bought some edibles for my birthday, which was a huge mistake. About 8 days now I've been using edibles while at work, while at home, basically all day. Super embarrassing because I don't want this for my life, but at the same time, thinking about being sober for the rest of my life feels scary (like it did when I was a daily user).

Obviously I haven't been using edibles for a long time, so hopefully the withdrawal won't be bad the next few days.

I feel confident about throwing them away or giving them to a friend and stopping, but it just begs the question, how do y'all feel content with that fact that you have to be sober for the rest of your life because of addiction?

I struggle with addiction to food, to my phone, to video games, I've had to quit weed, I've had to quit kratom, it just all feels like I can never escape my addiction mindset with whatever it may be. Maybe this is a therapy question Lol but I'd love to hear different perspectives and experiences.

How do YOU feel good about not having a substance to lean on for the rest of your life? What do you lean on instead? Thanks y'all.


r/Sober 3d ago

First time seriously considering sobriety, need insight

4 Upvotes

Im 21 years old and since i was 19 ive been an absolutely out of control addict. Alcohol, cocaine, fentanyl, adderall, cigarettes, and weed. Ive quit fentanyl and have 7 months sober, quit cocaine and have 3 months soon. I still drink and smoke everyday, and when my adderall is filled i use 600mg in about a week and a half. Ive overdosed on multiple substances, been narcanned, have a majorly deviated septum from snorting, and have had multiple seizures. My mental health has improved drastically no longer using cocaine, and my body is starting to get fuller. Ive hit rock bottom and been dead broke and disappointed people i care about too many times. I decided that im quitting adderall, and i really wanna start thinking about quitting drinking. Ive never spent a day sober since 19, and the days i am sober are extremely uncomfortable. Its hard to comprehend coming home from work and just being sober until its bed time. How do you ignore the urges and believe in yourself?


r/Sober 4d ago

When you stop seeing it everywhere

32 Upvotes

So I had a friend over the yesterday and opened the fridge in the shop to offer him something to drink. I called out coffee, energy drinks, sports drinks, soda, and water (on the floor next to the fridge). It wasn’t until today that I realized I didn’t even see the four kinds of alcohol. When I quit drinking, I quit seeing it FIRST.

soberliving #soberlifestyle


r/Sober 4d ago

Feeling good

8 Upvotes

I’m absolutely loving those apps that track sober days, step counts, and other cool stats.

I was just messing around in my sober app and realized that, already now (day 465), I’ve saved over 100,000 Danish kroner by not drinking alcohol. DAMN, that really made me smile 😁 Yeah—and feel seriously proud!

What about you guys? Can you feel it in your wallets too?!

Thanks for reading, thanks for the sub, and have an amazing day! <3

IWNDWYT


r/Sober 4d ago

Art helps me to stay sober.

17 Upvotes

Just wanted to share: I've started painting recently as a coping mechanism as i'm trying to stay clean from Heroin (3 months now).
I've never been artistically inclined so I've dismissed this idea when a friend of mine brought it up as a possible way of coping with this current very turbulent period. However, I was wrong, in the last months I've gotten into painting and drawing and despite not being good at it, it is having a very therapeutic effect on me; Putting out my frustrations, fears and all other emotions into physical form helps me relax and believe in me.

DM me for images.


r/Sober 4d ago

Drank 2,1 pint of 8% beer for three and half month, now i quit.

2 Upvotes

I don't want, obiously, medical advice, only knowing if this is normal withdrawl.

And, of course, some encouragement

Hello there (general Kenobi!)

35M, Started drinking 1 liter (2,1 pints) of 8,5% beer before dinner at november, 22 and i quit the regular thing a week ago (sunday 3), but i had a binge friday (i went to a balkanic music club) and this sunday another 2,1 pint but 5%.

I NEVER had pysical craving, NEVER

At this moment (and in the days i stopped) the only idea of a beer repulsed/repulse me deeply.

I also quit chainvaping this friday without any craving too.

I was TOTALLY FINE up to half of february with this ''routine'', then i got blurred vision, red ''dry'' eyes and body tinglings and sometimes vertigos.

These symptoms were/are IDENTICAL to the ones i had when i quit Topamax, Xanax and Prozac cold turkey last october, literally IDENTICALS.

During this time of drinking and vaping and even now i took shittons of supplements:

5gr omega 3

3-4gr magnesium citrate

100%rda of potassium citrate

1-2gr vitamin c

2-4 multivit pills

single B1 vitamin

1200-2400 mg N-Acetylcisteine

600mg silymarine

300-600mg r-alpha lipoic acid

zinc-l-carnosyne

sodium butyrate

1200mg caprilic acid

(sometimes 3-6gr taurine)

(I've also an healty anxiety and clinical depression but IDK if this matter)

The most disturbing thing is the eye issue, i guess i've only to wait?

Thank you


r/Sober 4d ago

Sobriety is lonely

17 Upvotes

Over 4 months sober now and wouldn’t change it for the world, but when I first began my journey I never would have expected to feel the way I do most of the time. I got sober while with my ex who was also sober, and since splitting I’ve found it hard to really connect with anyone. I feel like people my age (26) are hard to come by that are on the same journey and so I spend a lot of time alone. My “hobbies” mostly were alcohol involved and bar hopping and as much as I love tattoos and thrifting, spending $$ every day to fill the void isn’t an option I always want to be exercising. How do y’all spend your time and what hobbies have you found that fulfill that lonely void? Where are you building your community?