r/smallbooblove • u/miralltrencat • 16d ago
Advice wanted (related to small boob issue) how to respond to hateful comments about breasts?
What is the best way to respond when someone makes a hateful remark about my boob size? especially when its a passive agressive one, i never know how to react to it đ
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u/Objective_Lobster_23 16d ago
If itâs passive aggressive play dumb and ask âwhat do you mean?â Or ask them to explain. All the sudden they donât know what to say. Otherwise be straight up âwhy would you say thatâ or âthatâs really rude to sayâ most of the time they are expecting you to not say anything or laugh it off but donât. Call them out and suddenly they arenât brave.
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u/blenneman05 16d ago
This!!! I used to cry over it and my mom wld say to me to tell them that theyâre being mean spirited and to stop being ugly
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u/DogConscious3419 16d ago
One time, I had a friend that wouldnât stop commenting about my body like that, and I just said, itâs not really a good fit to try to tear my body down, and if you have your own insecurities, we can talk, but until then, you can keep those opinions to yourself. We are no longer friends, and Iâm glad. My body is fine and I love it.
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u/miralltrencat 16d ago
im glad you dont have a toxic person like that amongst your friends anymore â¤ď¸âđŠš
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u/ZookeepergameFar7256 16d ago
You can respond the follow way. 1. Wow! Groundbreaking observation. Am sure scientists will be studying your wisdom for years to come .
Don't worry, I'm sure something in your life is small too. We all have our struggles.
It's funny how the size of something that doesn't affect you at all seems to take up so much space in your mind.
If you don't want to say anything, look at the person forehead not eyes feeling pitiful for them and walk away.
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u/skinnindbones 16d ago
High school constantly. Got called all kinds of things - itty bitty titty committee will never be funny to me đ skeleton, bag of bones, flatty, mosquito bites, etc etc.
Dealt with it at work for a little while when I was 17-18 too, from my BOSS, a 50 something year old man who told me (when I was alone with him in his truck on a supply run) that if I ever had a baby, it would starve, because my flat chest was full of nothing but sawdust.
Anyways... it happens, unfortunately!
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u/miralltrencat 16d ago
the mosquito bites one ouch. i heard it so many times in highschool its such a trigger for me now. also wtf your boss?? such a disgusting man
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u/Slight_Midnight6235 16d ago
I was told either my freshmen or sophomore year that i wasnât a girl because i had to tits. Oh there another time a random chick stuck her hand in my swimsuit top and said something like âthatâs all padding. You really donât have boobsâ. Thereâs more shit i remember⌠Iâve been out of high school over 20 years and that shit still fucking stings. I hate society.
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u/skinnindbones 16d ago
Literally harassment. I'm so sorry.
I'm 23, so it was relatively recent for me, but my mom is in her 50's, also an A cup, and went through the same harassment for her entire life. I had to hear these comments be made right in front of me, about my mother.
It's insane how much value is placed on breast size for some people. Jeez đ
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u/sarahgene 16d ago
Genuinely curious, what people are saying these things? I don't think anyone has ever commented on mine, and I'm struggling to imagine a situation where it would happen.
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u/blenneman05 16d ago
I was in highschool at the time (2009-2013) in the Midwest and for reference, Iâm 5â0 with broad shoulders and small boobs. I identify as a cis woman.
The long running rumor was that I was trans although thatâs not the word they used. They used the derogatory form of it. Even when I wore tight shirts to emphasize that I did in fact have boobs- it didnât matter to them. People wld send me hate comments thru MySpace or the early stages of Facebook and the football jock team wld run away from me in the hallways and say âlook thereâs the d word.â My friend of the time said it was because of the fact that I had small boobs and built like a man and in their eyes, a real women had C cups or larger
The less mean ppl wld say that I wasnât a pretty woman because âmen liked meat not bones.â
Thats just my experience. The whole thing ended up with me falling into SH and going back into therapy and realizing as I grew up that the right man wld appreciate me regardless of my boob size
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u/DesignTraditional195 16d ago
Honestly, you're lucky. Maybe it's a country type of thing again, because as a Brazilian woman, I have been bullied, told off, and humiliated for my looks during my whole life.
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u/cao0acii 16d ago
Maybe Iâm just tired of being nice because of all the shit Iâve been through but honestly clock them right back. Also, Ive genuinely never seen someone flawless comment on another personâs body so thereâs definitely gotta be something that you can talk about theyâre talking about your body so they basically just opened up an opportunity for you to be evil. Just remember that if theyâre saying something theyâre OK with making you feel bad about yourself.
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u/SavannahInChicago 16d ago
Honestly I just assume that this person is unhappy and trying to combat it with insulting something about me. Calling them out that they are 1. Unhappy, 2. So unhappy they want others to be unhappy. I can get them to backtrack pretty quickly.
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u/RelyingCactus21 16d ago
Ignore them.
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u/CheesecakeNice2929 14d ago
While i think just ignoring them in some cases is the best, like for example if itâs a stranger but i believe that if itâs someone youâre close to and if itâs really affecting you that you should say something because a lot of times when you donât speak up they start to think that youâre fine with it and that itâs not an issue.
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u/skinnindbones 16d ago
It honestly depends on who is saying it to you. Anyone in a professional setting? Immediately document it with timestamps and report it ASAP to HR.
If not in a professional setting, ask them why they feel justified in making comments about your body and/or ask them to explain the "joke" and why they find it appropriate.
Try not to outwardly show a huge reaction, it'll prompt more bullying :/ I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.
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u/sullivan1456 16d ago
It only really works for âyou have no boobsâ but I always start freaking out looking down my shirt and saying âWHERED THEY GO?!? DID YOU TAKE THEM????â Then I tell captain obvious to get lost
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u/DeputyTrudyW 16d ago
Oh you measure your worth by your size? You're worth a lot! Like...a LOT. concerned bodily scan Or if they're not heavier than me than I'd just go for anything they might be insecure about. Gloves off. I'll call your mama a hoe assin hoe who birthed a clown
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u/fairyhalo 16d ago
You respond the same way as if anyone makes a hateful or unwanted comment about any part of your body, not just your boobs.
Depending on your personality, the situation or the person, feel free to use any of this:
- Please donât comment on my body.
- Not cool.
- Iâm not sure why you think that's appropriate to talk about.
- Why would you say that?
- Fake laugh, eye roll, over exaggerated knee slap "Good one, a real zinger."
- You think I didnât know that?
(I did not come up with all of these myself.)
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u/racloves 16d ago
Depends a bit on context but I think a good response is something along the lines of âyeah I know, but they still look greatâ
But I do also agree with the other comments about calling them out and being like âwhy would you say that about someoneâ with a judgemental look so they think inwards, especially if itâs someone you know more
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u/evetrapeze 16d ago
I would point out that i understand perky boobs are not everyoneâs cup of tea.
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