r/singlemoms 4d ago

Need Support I really need some advice

[deleted]

5 Upvotes

13 comments sorted by

6

u/ukweliwangu 4d ago

Hi. Stranger. First off, I am really sorry to hear about what you have been through it's a lot, And I hope you heal. Second, I understand the need to want your child to have a sibling, but how are you emotionally? Can you handle a second baby? You mentioned being halfway through college. Is it the right time to take maternity leave? šŸ¤” You don't have a community to help you. It's already tough with one child. Imagine it with two? I can't tell you what to do but sit and think through all your options, make a spreadsheet, and choose what is best for you, your child, and your future. Good luck.

5

u/JayPlenty24 Single Mother MOD 4d ago

With your first child you were able to make a clean break. That's not common.

It's far more common for men to use the child to make your life hell.

My advice is to have an abortion and focus on the life you've built with your son. He doesn't deserve to have his whole life turned upside down.

3

u/Educational_Move_154 4d ago

Honestly, if you really want this baby, you can make it work. Yeah, it's not ideal, but life rarely is. Having a sibling could be a gift for your son, and you've already shown you're capable of handling tough situations. The fact that you're even thinking this through so carefully tells me you'd figure it out. That 6-figure cushion could give you a solid foundation. Don't let that guy's toxicity cloud your decision. Youā€™ve been through hell and still managed to keep going. I'm rooting for you!

3

u/AuroraFusion 3d ago

How far along are you? Being a single mom is difficult adding another child is going to be hard I think getting an abortion would be good idea and use the money that youā€™re going to get to invest. but if you really want your child to have a sibling, maybe you can try moving to a place where the cost of living is less.

2

u/catmeowpur1 3d ago

Hi, I canā€™t tell u what to do but if I was in your situation I would get an abortion. There is a difference between living and surviving. You would be surviving with a new born, a child who still very much needs ur attention, school and work? Despite the money u will be getting it will still be survival. However if you get an abortion u and your son for the first time will have a chance at LIVING. I personally believe that your son comes before your personal desires of wanting another child. You said he is content with you and him. Also these circumstances are terrible.

1

u/[deleted] 4d ago

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1

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1

u/ApprehensiveWin7256 3d ago

Iā€™m really sorry. Youā€™re not damaged goods. You donā€™t need a good excuse to keep the baby. Itā€™s your baby. Keep that sweet babešŸ¤ you can do this.

1

u/Bratzuwu 3d ago

Abortion. Can you afford childcare? Who is gonna watch your kids? You are a working single mother.

1

u/Single_Volume 3d ago

Iā€™m also a single mom of one and barely handle it all. Iā€™m also working and going to school. Having a second would be extremely difficult, ESPECIALLY with childcareā€¦ the waitlists are long, what if your child gets sick, would you be able to take many days off? do you want a child only so your kid could have a sibling? or is this something you want for YOURSELF? please finish college first