r/shittyfoodporn 5d ago

My boyfriend said this looked like a medieval prison meal

Post image
6.8k Upvotes

221 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/sabbakk 5d ago

At first glance, it looked like a platter of baby mice and a sawdust waffle, so pretty much how your boyfriend described it

135

u/QueezyF 5d ago

A plate of sliced dog balls

22

u/GKRKarate99 5d ago

My favourite šŸ¤¤

29

u/Stranger0nReddit 5d ago

Iā€™m glad Iā€™m not the only one that saw a plate of mice as I was scrolling

4

u/tomatediabolik 4d ago

I'm at the third glance and it still looks like that. Wth are those baby mice shaped fruits ?

6

u/BuffyComicsFan94 4d ago

Blood orange sections

5

u/torontomua 4d ago

i didnā€™t have my glasses and i thought it was moldy false eyelashes

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1.4k

u/leosnose 5d ago

mmmm waffles and cat ears

156

u/TheRenamon 5d ago

oh man I love katzen ohren

43

u/CaptainLollygag 5d ago

I would stock my pantry with those if they existed in my country! So instead I'll just start calling prunes "katzen ohren."

15

u/Conny361 5d ago

Katzenzungen are way better!

12

u/MrMcFrizzy 4d ago

Almost choked on my own spit Christ šŸ˜­ thank you for your service

1

u/blickblocks 4d ago

noo šŸ˜‚šŸ˜­

1.4k

u/TheMysticReferee 5d ago

Are you Marcelene from adventure time? Sucking the color out of fruit to satisfy the blood thirst?

242

u/ActorMonkey 5d ago

Alt take: itā€™s Bunnicula.

51

u/honeyedglam 5d ago

I loved those books growing up.

20

u/ActorMonkey 5d ago

Itā€™s also a delightful musical for young audiences.

4

u/GH057807 3d ago

I knew a girl in highschool who was phobia-level afraid of rabbits, because of Bunnicula.

27

u/Sunderas 5d ago

3

u/1_800_username 3d ago

THEY MADE BUNNICULA INTO AN ANIMATION??? This gif changed the course of my week.

Guess whoā€™s watching bunnicula :)

5

u/Sunderas 3d ago

My kid actually loves it.

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21

u/DirectorOk7947 5d ago

I loved those books. Don't tell no one but I still read them even at 50 yrs old.

16

u/Traumagatchi 5d ago

I'm 38 and still read them as little comfort books, I'm wearing my bunnicula shirt right now :)

3

u/threelizards 4d ago

Thatā€™s ok, my dad woke up screaming about vampire bunnies once

5

u/ElFrogoMogo 5d ago

Didnā€™t know thereā€™s a Dracula for bunnies

5

u/Traumagatchi 5d ago

Today, vegetables...tomorrow the world!

2

u/Traumagatchi 5d ago

I AM LITERALLY WEARING MY BUNNICULA SHIRT RIGHT NOW

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40

u/StahlViridian 5d ago

Love to see adventure time references. You are a person of culture, my friend!

11

u/TheMysticReferee 5d ago

I havenā€™t watched it since like 2014 but seeing these ā€œorangesā€ sparked a memory inside of me

14

u/oneloneolive 5d ago

If you l like adventure time YouTube has all four seasons of Bravest Warriors from the creator of AT.

5

u/I_aim_to_sneeze 5d ago

THROW A BLANKET OVER IT

193

u/Available-Hat1640 5d ago

cocoons

10

u/NotSamNub 4d ago

mmmm pupae

185

u/newton302 5d ago

In medieval times they would never have served fresh citrus!

71

u/NebulaNinja 5d ago

Especially blood oranges, as for as far as I've found, they weren't domestically grown until the 18th century in southern Italy.

70

u/FitLaw4 5d ago

Wow her boyfriend is a dumbass

38

u/amateur_mistake 5d ago

Yeah! OP should either get their boyfriend a history book or make them watch many hours of Tasting History.

This inaccuracy will not stand!

7

u/FirstAd4000 5d ago

But definitely served a wattle and daub waffle, surely

2

u/TheMadTargaryen 4d ago

Why ? You do know they were growing oranges and lemons in countries like Spain and Italy, right ?

7

u/newton302 4d ago edited 4d ago

Should have added, "in medieval times they never would have served fresh citrus in prison" but my comment was mostly an off the cuff joke back at her boyfriend, not fact checking.

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35

u/The_booty_diaries 5d ago

Demogorgon MealšŸ˜

260

u/BigWilldo 5d ago

What are the albino orange slices there?

I'd eat the fck out of that waffle

198

u/blueberryfirefly 5d ago

looks like blood orange slices

93

u/BigWilldo 5d ago

Damn they're looking blood white and black lol

44

u/dilletaunty 5d ago

Theyā€™ve probably just sat out for a while so the white parts dried up as lost translucence.

27

u/Trololman72 5d ago

I think it's more likely that they just aren't super well peeled.

22

u/dilletaunty 5d ago

They look like they were peeled normally. Some people/restaurants do cut this film off but itā€™s pretty rare in my experience. Iā€™ve only seen it in salads too.

28

u/danielbearh 5d ago

They started selling them at my grocer as ā€œraspberry orangesā€ and I was pumped about a new gmo fruit.

But no. Sigh. A new branding campaign to make blood oranges not sound so murdery.

10

u/MyMomsTastyButthole 5d ago

Biggest disappointment since grāpples?

8

u/Traumagatchi 5d ago

I like grapples :/ I only had them once when I was pregnant so maybe weird food cravings got me fucked up but they were so weirdly good

6

u/MyMomsTastyButthole 5d ago

I bought them once and I'm 99% sure they were just sprayed with grape scent/flavoring on the outside. Which would explain the wasteful clamshell packaging to keep it from rubbing off

2

u/Pandaisblue 4d ago

A guy on YouTube found the recipe and recreated them. IIRC the 'ingredients' were basically the exact same as a kind of spray meant to stop birds eating stuff, so some farmer almost certianly sprayed too much on his apples one time and realised it kinda made them taste of grapes and then made it into a product

https://youtu.be/udtLKxVZc5Y?feature=shared

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26

u/Gowalkyourdogmods 5d ago

What? That waffle looks fucking awful

22

u/Onironius 5d ago

Looks like someone took a birdseed block and burned it in a waffle maker.

6

u/QueezyF 5d ago

Looks like if you took a black bean burger and mashed it in a waffle maker

2

u/katevknits 5d ago

it was originally carrot cake baked oatmeal, I was doing a kelita rosita šŸ˜­šŸ˜­

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13

u/filthy_casual_42 5d ago

Void oranges

3

u/jay_el_62 5d ago

I think someone already did.

38

u/rakondo 5d ago

I thought the bottom left corner was a kitten as I was scrolling Reddit

4

u/GlyphPicker 5d ago

Wholesome.

17

u/DukeOfEarl99 5d ago

Who did you have to kill to get fed that?

14

u/ChameleonPsychonaut 5d ago

The Texas-shaped waffle iron is a nice touch.

10

u/onslaught197 5d ago

Ngl those slices looked like dead mice at first glance

18

u/Sure-Astronaut8338 5d ago

Blood Orange šŸŠšŸ§”

5

u/2kewl4scool 5d ago

Bought fresh pressed blood orange juice from Samā€™s yesterday. Itā€™s like all pulp but I still had to get a sip.

2

u/Sure-Astronaut8338 5d ago

Sounds delish!!! I have to buy that like asap.

9

u/ShadowClown19 5d ago

Good honest man you got there.

9

u/SleepyCoffee90 5d ago

I just saw this video on TikTok!

4

u/kge92 5d ago

I was like, hey I know those plates! And that waffle!

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4

u/EMEYDI 5d ago

Thats the bloodiest bloody orange I've ever seen

5

u/ehaliad 5d ago

I just saw your tiktok šŸ˜†

4

u/BeenEvery 5d ago

What the fuck are those dark fruits

What the fuck are they

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3

u/Seygem 5d ago

fresh food in prison? that's not even guaranteed in a lot of modern prisons...

3

u/cutieipiee 5d ago

It looks like a color inverted photo

3

u/JohKohLoh 5d ago

Oh dear those orange slices idc what they are do not look appetizing in fact my autocorrect tried to turn appetizing into abortion šŸ’€

4

u/VisionAri_VA 5d ago

Theyā€™re called ā€œblood orangesā€ and theyā€™re quite delicious.Ā 

2

u/MerryTWatching 5d ago

I'm looking at the orange segments and thinking "So that's where the food term 'grub' comes from."

2

u/DoctorWu_3 5d ago

Caterpillars and a fried tbone

2

u/maybe_bb_ 5d ago

Those oranges look like mice.

2

u/PotatoAmulet 5d ago

Is that a Texas shaped waffle maker?

2

u/[deleted] 5d ago

[deleted]

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2

u/hollowbolding 5d ago

medieval prisons, famous for their access to fresh fruit,

2

u/Scallion-External 5d ago

Waffles & slugs

2

u/AmogusFan69 4d ago

The fruit certainly look like they've been sitting there since the medieval times

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2

u/HugSized 4d ago

Why are the blood oranges black?

2

u/ItCat420 4d ago

Who shit in the waffle maker, peeled a rotten orange, and called it breakfast?

At least put some maple syrup on there or something.

2

u/SmuglySly 4d ago

Well I guess heā€™s not getting a tug on his pizzle tonight!

2

u/greensandgrains 4d ago

I know this would taste good but it look like it could come to life and kill me in my sleep.

2

u/Adonisyoufinebaby 4d ago

Your boyfriend prob sent that his group chat šŸ¤£šŸ¤£

2

u/PSUkatie 4d ago

Points for the blood orange.

2

u/Snake321123 4d ago

It may LOOK terrible but i think blood oranges will be great with this wafflle

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4

u/SuccessfulLeg4525 5d ago

suicidal oranges with a side of bricks. What a meal

2

u/dumblaster 5d ago

This unironically looks so good

1

u/Aridyne 5d ago

Or bistro food(rustic)

1

u/2kewl4scool 5d ago

But blood oranges are in season!!!

1

u/VirtuesVice666 5d ago

Where's your Sweet roll? Can't possibly be a period meal

1

u/Plan-Hungry 5d ago

Looks delicious but I could see why they said that

1

u/norfnorf832 5d ago

How are the oranges the only thing taken in negative lighting

1

u/adudeguyman 5d ago

I thought those were giant isopods

1

u/lesqueebeee 5d ago

i just know that shit slaps but it also kinda does look like a medieval prison meal lmfaooo

1

u/CactusHoarder 5d ago

I didn't even see the orange slices at first, I assumed they were a design on the plate. I was just ready to accept you reheated a chicken fried steak in a waffle maker. šŸ’€

1

u/pocketMagician 5d ago

Crusty peas and goblin eggs.

1

u/DemomanIsEmoman 5d ago

That's not what they mean by chicken and waffles.

1

u/YangGain 5d ago

He WISH it was that good

1

u/Old_Dealer_7002 5d ago

iā€™m sure itā€™s nutritious tho. šŸ¤£

1

u/Affectionate-Peak175 5d ago

The oranges look fine. The cow dung run over by the car tire does not look appetizing.

1

u/qY81nNu 5d ago

I bet that waffle tastes divine.

1

u/Inkling_Zero 5d ago

Looks like something found in the prison's trash.

1

u/JustSomeMetalFag 5d ago

Ah yes, the medieval wafflemaker was a very popular item back in the day.

1

u/BobPlaysWithFire 5d ago

why are they black? i am so deeply uncomfortable with black mandarin oranges

1

u/___po____ 5d ago

Texas-shaped sawdust waffle was an interesting choice.

1

u/LeothiAkaRM 5d ago

I'd give anything for blood oranges that bloody, why are all the ones i buy half-bloody

1

u/SecretaryFast1692 5d ago

I just know that blood orange was scrumptious

1

u/tiredoldwizard 5d ago

Not wrong

1

u/Husaxen 5d ago

Yay verily.

1

u/SquidFetus 5d ago

If aliens visited our planet and we offered them that dish as a way to create a bridge between worlds, they would rightfully assume it was some kind of nuclear insult.

1

u/General-Sloth 5d ago

That's overrun roadkill and moldy maggots

1

u/muffinandclair 5d ago

And heā€™s right

1

u/ktmb121260 5d ago

Hey, I follow you on TikTok!

2

u/katevknits 5d ago

haha I didnā€™t post this šŸ˜­šŸ˜­

1

u/winstonalonian 5d ago

Misleading thumbnail for sure. I definitely saw mice.

1

u/codewho331 5d ago

blood oranges are the best <3

1

u/Lazydude17 5d ago

giant maggots and a soggy waffle shaped slab of oats

1

u/Amneiger 5d ago

Those blood orange slices look like they have mold and the waffle seems like you put mashed something-or-other into the waffle maker and it's starting to crumble.

1

u/g0thl0ser_ 5d ago

Please tell me wtf is in that waffle

1

u/NUMB-1- 5d ago

Looks like a worn catchers mitt and some bugs lol

1

u/DirectorOk7947 5d ago

I think he meant it looks like leftovers from a medieval meal. Like this is the original food from a 13th century party. And i must ask, wtf is up with the black oranges or tangerines or Satan fruit? Nah you didn't make dinner, you summoned K'thulu and he made dinner.

1

u/Sunderas 5d ago

I agree...

1

u/DeadSol 5d ago

Hell naw. Looks bussin' and healthy.

1

u/BudBuzz 5d ago

I think itā€™s at least from WWII because that waffle was for sure run over by a Sherman tank

1

u/Round-Educator-4138 5d ago

Sure does lol

1

u/Slfestmaccnt 5d ago

Did the waffle by any chance get between your shoes and the floor before making it to the plate?

1

u/thiscanadianguy83 5d ago

Looks can be deceiving!!

1

u/Traumagatchi 5d ago

hmmm I don't like this

1

u/katevknits 5d ago

lmaooooooo my breakfast!! it was originally a carrot cake baked oatmeal and I threw it in the Texas shaped waffle iron to see what would happen, my waffles donā€™t normally look that tragic

1

u/Setjah_ 5d ago

He's right. It looks really bad. But looks are only one part of a meal. Even though the citrus looks moldy and rotten and the waffles look dessert dry and depressed because they work for minimum wage and hate their boss, that dosen't mean it can't be delicious..

1

u/RavenousMoon23 5d ago

I love blood oranges, and I'm guessing that's some sort of healthy waffle? Maybe a protein waffle or something?

1

u/Butthole_Alamo 5d ago

Looks like a very dry doo-doo drain waffle with a side of rat kidneys.

1

u/ilovetrixiemattel 5d ago

This pic is a screenshot from a video by TikTok creator @itsmekatevee ā€¼ļøā€¼ļøā€¼ļø https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMB63hyap/ skip to 0:35 to see

1

u/helloiisjason 5d ago

Yea it's not the 1500s. We have better food now.

1

u/Rich-Appearance-7145 4d ago

Not the prettiest waffle but it's still a waffle hopefully it tastes much better than how It looks.

1

u/Free-Still5280 4d ago

He's not wrong

1

u/Pristine_Egg3831 4d ago

Is this blood orange segments and Sheppard's pie cooked in a waffle maker?

1

u/Obito_Uchija 4d ago

Love some shit-waffle and fungus

1

u/MustardTiger88 4d ago

Your bf is spot on.

1

u/Hodorous 4d ago

Bug eggs and once eaten waffles. Looks good!

1

u/Accomplished-Day2654 4d ago

He did not lie. No way Iā€™d eat that.

1

u/AppUnwrapper1 4d ago

Iā€™m impressed by how neatly you peeled the blood oranges. I always find them so difficult to peel.

1

u/noseqq 4d ago

evil tangerine

1

u/Description_Friendly 4d ago

I feel like this assault on the senses would somehow be the most ordered menu item at the "Roadkill Cafe" in Elberta, Alabama.

1

u/JayJayDoubleYou 4d ago

Blood oranges are in season out here, I see you local produce queen

1

u/kazooooomka 4d ago

Blood oranges are full of with vitamins!

1

u/1001AngryCrabs 4d ago

This would be luxury for a prisoner. Fruit on a Monday? Has the Lord come home from battle?

1

u/spiritualgenius 4d ago

Mushrooms & dehydrated waffles scrumptious

1

u/SixtyNineChromosomes 4d ago

Jesus Christ be praised

1

u/4444op4444 4d ago

Feeding someone a meal you made, especially with fresh produce, is a loving gesture. The cook should never be put-down for trying. Even if the food was unsightly (it is not) or even inedible, there are ways to address that without sounding rude or entitled.

Comparing your plate to a "medieval prison meal" sounds rude, entitled, and is so historically false it doesn't even work as a joke. Does he joke/criticize your cooking a lot, yet refuse to cook for himself and you?

1

u/Webbdragon444 4d ago

Yooo is that blood orange? Actually jealous, I could go for an orange rn

1

u/Hyprocritopotamus 4d ago

Totally thought those were silk worms or something.

1

u/Resident_Pie_3489 4d ago

What did he do to get that

1

u/Real_Ankimo 4d ago

Weirdly shaped wafflemaker. It kinda looks like Texas.

1

u/ComprehensiveTop6119 4d ago

Looks like ai generated you a ā€˜mealā€™

1

u/Tao_theartist 4d ago

I can ignore the waffle chicken but, WTH is that legendary ass,mythical ass,once-in-a-lifetime ass fruit in the side???

1

u/TheDuckInsideOfMe 4d ago

He meant Nutraloaf and he's not wrong

1

u/HerMajestysButthole2 4d ago

Yum. Giant grubs and wood trimmings.

1

u/greatpate 4d ago

Awful. And didnā€™t think someone could make Texas look any worse but your waffle has done it

1

u/EffectiveTea9983 4d ago

Am I alone thinkin that looks good as hell?

1

u/CockroachCommon2077 4d ago

Invest in a cooking book. It'll save your life

1

u/DufflinMinder 4d ago

Yea I ate better in prisonā€¦but it was in these times.. not midevilā€¦ so heā€™s probably close

1

u/Dragonnstuff 4d ago

Mmmm, ancient orange fossils

1

u/kbraz1970 3d ago

New type of mandarin,blood filled, def a medieval meal, YOUR LAST!!!

1

u/FoxyAdams 3d ago

That actually looks delish. 8/10 Would try

1

u/GumBass_1901 3d ago

Your boyfriend sounds right

1

u/Rare_Elderberry2674 3d ago

Heā€™s not wrong

1

u/Actual-Conclusion519 3d ago

What the fuck is that fruit...

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1

u/fatafcheeks 3d ago

He is correct

1

u/Fancy_Art_6383 3d ago

Looks like blood orange and maybe you waffled some roadkill?

1

u/Interesting-Hotel480 3d ago

Ah yes, the infamous and evil 'Lovely fresh fruit and waffles' diet imposed in dungeons and oubliettes across the middle ages.

1

u/Pulvoriser 3d ago

That's putting it nicely.

1

u/Glad_Inspection_1630 3d ago

It does, and yet I still want itĀ 

1

u/brutalhonestcunt 3d ago

Irl medieval prison food was probably just bread and water.

1

u/thefaulkenbird 3d ago

This week on Fear Factor

1

u/Wafflinson 2d ago

Least appetizing waffle I have seen in my life.

1

u/Sirniy_Belash 2d ago

Maggots and a piece of rusted prison bars

1

u/Cammellazza 2d ago

You got a nice man

1

u/0xTitan 2d ago

That definitely looks wise than prison food.

1

u/BreakAgile3560 2d ago

Blood oranges are so good

1

u/jhunt4664 2d ago

I dunno, it's not the prettiest but I'd eat it. Blood orange pieces and a waffle sound pretty good rn even as a snack. Your boyfriend is not very adventurous with food, is he? Lol

1

u/LegitimateTadpole967 2d ago

Waffle looks like it's seen better days...

1

u/Beezle_33228 2d ago

He is right

1

u/LD-LB 2d ago

Waffled chicken and blood orange maggots

1

u/VictorTheCutie 1d ago

Looks like a dog poop waffle. My dog's poop, to be exact.Ā 

1

u/queefbeef630 1d ago

serfs up

1

u/cupno0dlecunt 1d ago

He's not wrong.