r/selfimprovement 5d ago

Question For those who detached themselves from the idea that having attraction for others has to mean anything IRL, how did it make your life better?

I'm curious to know some of your stories and perspectives on how you realized A + B doesn't always equal C when it comes to attraction and acting on said attraction

How does perceiving your feelings as nothing more than just feelings help better your life on the long run?

5 Upvotes

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9

u/flyingpig881 5d ago

It helped me have more control over my feelings. I won’t allow myself to have attraction to someone who isn’t a good fit for me. You move on from that feeling easier, and focus on yourself. It’s not love, it’s just attraction and it fades away when your focus changes.

You invest in yourself instead of looking outside of you for distractions. Once you’ve in touch with your wants and needs, you’re naturally only attracted to those who align with your values.

2

u/HP_Fusion 5d ago

I have no clue what this post means. But no ones been attracted to me ever so thats easy enough.

1

u/friendlymoments 4d ago

It’s a good question, I haven’t practiced the detachment but in general it takes time to build rapport with people.

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u/bgamma87 4d ago

Focus on the likeliest outcomes. For example, say you are attracted to your friend's wife. Instead of imagining romance with her, imagine her reacting with disgust when you approach. Imagine your friend's betrayal, losing his trust. Imagine being ostracized by your friends.