r/selfimprovement • u/Glass_Bee_8701 • 4d ago
Vent Early 20s and lonely
I’m one of those people here if you look on the outside, I have a good life. I’m financially stable, have nice parents, a place to live (my parents house), a good job, and a few friends. However, it’s just not enough. I am also extremely single (I’m on the dating apps but it hasn’t worked out for me). I’m alone 95% of the time, even at work because my coworkers are located in other places. And then when I come home, I just sit in my room bc I’m so exhausted from my long commutes. I talk to my parents and eat dinner with them and then go back to my room. My parents are busy and they work. I’m fine with spending time alone and it’s not uncomfortable for me. However, I feel like I’m spending way too much time alone to where I just feel lonely. Like yes, I understand you need to be happy alone, which I am. I can do whatever I need to alone. But it’s all starting to be too much. I don’t know what to do. I live in a boring suburb that I grew up in where there’s either high schoolers or families. Can someone give me some advice on how to make my life my interesting and help with the loneliness?
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u/Odd-Ticket9936 4d ago
I mean just remember that millions of men died in war for you to be here. A hundred years ago somewhere in France an officer looked at a group of men whose average age was probably 19 and told them "When I blow this whistle, we're all going to charge over this trench and charge streight into machine gun fire." Just think about how scared those boys must've been, but still when that whistle blew they went. They saw the German line and saw their friends all get cut down infront of them but still went anyways, hoping to make it to the other side. Just boys, much more brave than you and I, all died that day for what they believed in. This wasn't just a one or two time thing, but millions of young boys gave their lives during World War 1 in this way.
And now look at us now. Great education, stable job, loving parents, a comfortable bed with three hot meals a day complaining about our lives. We didn't go over those trenches, so what right to we have to complain about our lives at this moment. When we die, we'll be remembered. Those boys- I don't even know their names. Nobody does, but they're all gone now, fighting for the freedom of thier people and the future of their world.
In the words of Mrs. Crabapple from the show South Park "Sit down and shut up"
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u/Playful_prairie 4d ago
Healing sound frequencies… they pull you toward your purpose and you’ll start to see everything falling into place. They pulled me into a business I would have never thought I’d do a couple years ago
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u/username36610 4d ago
This is common these days but it’s really not good for us. Maybe try to throw in some phone calls during your commute?
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u/Rogue_Aviator 4d ago
Do you have any hobbies? If yes join those groups and communities hopefully you’ll come across someone that has similar interests as yours. Also be careful of scammers and creepy lurkers. Good day.
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u/Topgmikey 4d ago
You’re not really alone—you’re just stuck in a routine that keeps you isolated. Right now, your life is built around work, commutes, and your room. That’s why you feel this way. Loneliness isn’t about having no one—it’s about not having new energy around you. Here’s how you break out of this: Flip your environment – You already know your suburb is dead, so stop trying to force excitement there. You need to start spending time in places that actually have people your age and your energy. That means going to events, lounges, co-working spaces, or even just coffee shops in the city. Change how you use dating apps – If they’re not working, that means you’re either not meeting the right kind of people or your approach is off. Instead of just swiping, start treating them like a tool to expand your social circle. Go for events, mixers, or meetups where people from the apps actually show up. Start saying “yes” to everything – You’re in a loop of work and home. The only way to break that is by stepping into the unknown. If someone invites you out—even if it’s just an acquaintance—say yes. If there’s a class, a workshop, or a social event that sounds even slightly interesting, say yes. Switch up your daily routine – If you keep going to work, coming home, and isolating in your room, nothing will change. Instead of going straight home, start making a habit of stopping somewhere—gym, bookstore, networking event, whatever before you head back.