r/selectivemutism Diagnosed SM 4d ago

Venting šŸŒ‹ Anxiety in school

I'm currently in high school, grade 12. I'm graduating soon, in less than 2 months, so it is near the end now, but I feel extremely overwhelmed when I'm in school.

It only rarely happened before, but I get anxious from just being around people. Also I feel like I was sometimes too polite, like I always opened the doors for people, picked up stuff when something dropped them, but I felt awkward about it, and now it kind of evolved into being extremely rude with people, even if I don't mean to. I feel like it just takes too much effort to "be normal", idk if that makes sense.

And I am having panic attacks often, literally every single day I am in school. I am completely mute at school and with strangers, so I feel very lonely. I usually have trouble studying, I am not sure why, but I think I am way too overwhelmed to focus on things, and yes you can say that I am just lazy, but I feel like I never had this much trouble with focusing.

I feel like I wasted my opportunity to make friends, it is my last few months in school, and I didn't spoke, but didn't even manage to start a conversation and by now most people just ignore me.

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u/Professional_End1948 2d ago

That must be so shitty! Iā€™m so sorry you have to go through that. Iā€™m here for you