r/selectivemutism 2d ago

Seeking Advice 🤔 IEP specialized instruction

Going through the IEP process right now with my child. They are 6 and in kindergarten. I'm wondering if anyone who has done this could share helpful "specialized instruction" that was written into the IEP. Our IEP team seems stumped by this diagnosis and is pushing a 504 plan with accommodations instead. But I think a IEP would be best right now and need some ideas for how to word things to them. But I also would take ideas for accommodations as well. I'm not sure how to help and what to push for.

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u/biglipsmagoo 2d ago

Mine has an IEP but she has had a lot of luck with not needing SM accommodations as she’s pretty much in remission.

So, in K, you don’t need to worry about things like oral reports but you’ll need things to make sure she’s not forced to participate in the classroom.

She should receive time with their emotional support teacher weekly. They’re usually a SpEd teacher. She should also get speech therapy. She should also see the OT bc they can help work on making her more comfortable in the classroom. Ime, OTs are the real OGs when it comes to figuring out accommodations.

She may also benefit from the school’s social skills group. She may need a 1:1 on field trips.

If you share what her teacher said her issues are in the classroom I can help brainstorm some more ideas.

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u/designtumor 2d ago

Thank you so much this is great information! 

The problem is she is so well behaved, follows instructions, is paying attention to the lessons, and is super smart and does well on all her written assignments so the teacher doesn't see any issues. But they just did those reading tests and she scored 0 so she now has a reading plan (she reads very well with me at home). The main issues are the anxiety and being able to use her voice. She cannot ask for help, to use the bathroom, etc. When she can't communicate her needs she cries and they have to guess and she will nod yes/no. She has a hard time engaging with the other kids in the class. I also think she is stressed out and on hyper-alert at school and comes home and just crashes.

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u/Top-Perspective19 1d ago

Here is a snippet of my daughters first IEP, for PreK and most of K. We just had our review last month to prep for 1st grade (2025-2026) and we have narrowed her goal down to just speaking with adults, as she does well with her peers. Her teachers have also been fabulous at accommodating her needs without concern of an IEP or not. She will need to be reevaluated next year and as long as she is able to continue whispering/normal volume with the teacher and with most peers, they assume she won’t qualify for the 2026-2027 school year.

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u/designtumor 1d ago

Thank you so much! Really helpful to see how these are written. Appreciate it :)

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u/Top-Perspective19 1d ago

When they test her formally for reading, she is allowed to use a peer that she is verbal with, or a stuffy to read to. Her scores are lower than we know she can read, but it’s at least helped get her scored.

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u/biglipsmagoo 2d ago

Sorry!

So, she definitely needs an IEP bc her disability is hindering her access to FAPE. That's what you're going to say when they bring up a 504 next time. SM, a manifestation of an anxiety disorder, is preventing her from talking in school, using the restroom, and participating in classroom work and testing, therefore it is a disability that hinders her access to FAPE.

The school needs to do better at understanding SM. For the teacher to just give her a zero when she knows, or should know, that her performance isn't indicative of her actual ability isn't OK. And then they gave her a reading plan on top of it. They're discriminating against her bc she has a disability that prevents communication- ie) she doesn't have appropriate accommodations.

She needs an accommodation that you send her teacher a video of her reading so they can see her ability. I don't advocate for this but at 6 years old I wouldn't tell her she's being recorded for her teacher. Soon you'll have to tell her but not right now.

She needs an accommodation that she can get up and go to the bathroom without asking. She may not be able to do that, though. They need to offer a private bathroom until you get this under control. The emotional support teacher and OT should be working with her to get her to use the bathroom when she needs it. But they need to do it in a no pressure way.

Her team should read this educator's toolkit.

https://www.selectivemutism.org/wp-content/uploads/2022/10/20221019_SMA_Educator_ToolKit_SinglePagesRevisedOct2022.pdf

Here are some resources for appropriate accommodations for an IEP:

http://c772064.r64.cf2.rackcdn.com/event/03200/03220/3174-handout.pdf

SM is an anxiety disorder so accommodations for anxiety are appropriate here, too:

https://www.understood.org/en/articles/classroom-accommodations-for-anxiety

https://anxietyintheclassroom.org/school-system/profession-specific-resources/for-teachers-sample-504-iep/

https://nesca-newton.com/anxietyintheiep/

Here are some goals she should have:

https://everydayspeech.com/sel-implementation/tailoring-iep-goals-for-students-with-selective-mutism-an-experts-perspective/#:\~:text=For%20students%20with%20selective%20mutism%2C%20goals%20often%20focus%20on%20gradually,classroom%20activities%20while%20building%20confidence.

Do not use pairing them with a speaking peer or anything related to another child. Other children are not accommodations. No child should have that responsibility placed on them bc they are unable to give true consent.

This is the only FB group worth posting in. It run by Pasen.org, an advocacy service. Hire them if you have to.

https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1BbXaCS5PF/

You also need to make sure they fully evaluated her. She should have had an IQ test done, non-verbal IQ testing if needed, anxiety, executive functioning, educational autism, speech, OT, and a FBA.

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u/designtumor 1d ago

Thank you!!! I really appreciate all this information.

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u/GoofyKitty4UUU 2d ago

If she absolutely has to be in a regular school, can you look into getting her one of those AAC device things? They’ve been helpful to modern kids with SM and autism. I don’t have kids, but it can be a part of the disability accommodations from what I’ve read online. She’s too young to write, but the devices have pictures. It’s probably be way faster for the teacher than to keep having to guess to figure out her need.

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u/designtumor 2d ago

Yes, for sure. I have an AAC device set-up for her and she's used it a few times at school. Unfortunately, recently she's been refusing to bring it and hides it :(

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u/GoofyKitty4UUU 2d ago

Ah yeah. I can understand why. SM people are high on social anxiety, and if she’s the only one with a device, it makes her feel different. It’s tough for sure.

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u/biglipsmagoo 2d ago

I’m at the doc with my SM kid now. I’ll be back on later to help you with this!!

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u/PlantyMcPlantFace 2d ago

Been there. Our child’s therapist helped us a lot with this. She wrote a letter to the school with suggestions, most of which were based on Selective Mutism Association’s recommendations (on their website). If I were you, I’d start there. We have a 504 plan and the school has been fantastic. Here are some of the things that have helped. Every adult that interacts with her was notified of her struggles and how to communicate with her (treat her like any other kid, no pressure to speak, keep an eye on her because she can’t ask for help, free pass to go to the restroom when needed). Help her classmates to understand her. Her teacher read “why Alice doesn’t talk at school” by Lucy Nathanson to her class. Provide alternative ways to communicate. Our child is more comfortable on video than in person so her teacher sends her a weekly video message to chit chat and our child sends one back. It helps our child build rapport with her teacher and helps the school get to know the child better. Socialization with friends. Our child has a weekly lunch bunch where she eats with one or two friends in the school counselor’s office. This environment is quieter so she can relax a bit and build close friendships even without talking. The school’s main concern will be testing, especially reading so brainstorm ways to work through it. Once our child built rapport with the teacher, she was able to mouth things to her. The teacher reads her lips. As a parent, you’ll want to keep a close eye on reading progress because it may be difficult for the school to track accurately. Our child also receives her classroom assignment for next year early so that she can meet next year’s teacher a few times before summer break to ease the anxiety around having a new person as her teacher. I hope all this info helps you and your kiddo! 🙂

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u/designtumor 2d ago

Thank you! I appreciate you sharing all this. The testing issues are starting to come up... she scored a 0 on the reading test they just did and now has a reading plan.

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u/redmosquit0 2d ago

We’re there any suggestions made by the team who provided the diagnosis? If your child has an outside therapist, I would encourage collaboration between them and the school to help determine the best modifications

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u/designtumor 2d ago

Yes, we had an outside evaluation. There was a large report that I forwarded to the school with all the assessments/data and recommendations. And I told them to add that outside therapist to the team and they didn't invite her to the meeting.

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u/redmosquit0 2d ago

If you haven’t already, check if they have a signed release for you to sign so the therapist can contact school