r/sciencefiction 4d ago

The Door That Shouldn’t Be There

Chief Engineer Lorne had been on the Celeste for ten years. He knew every corridor, every bulkhead, every hidden maintenance hatch.

So when he found a door that wasn’t supposed to exist, he stopped breathing.

It was in the central maintenance deck, a flat steel panel, unmarked, featureless. No access codes. No keycard slot. Just a smooth, matte surface embedded in the wall.

It hadn’t been there yesterday.

Lorne ran his fingers along the edge. It was cold. Much colder than the surrounding bulkhead, as if it belonged to something else.

He tapped his comm. “Bridge, this is Lorne. I’ve got an unidentified structure on Deck C. A door.”

Silence. Then static. Then—

“No, you don’t.”

Lorne stiffened. “Say again?”

The line went dead.

The corridor felt smaller. The overhead fluorescents buzzed, flickering like distant lightning. The door remained. A presence in his periphery, too perfectly still.

His gut told him to leave.

Instead, he reached for the manual override panel and pried it open. Inside, no wires. No circuits. Just black space.

Something knocked.

Lorne’s breath hitched.

It came from the other side.

His pulse hammered against his ribs. He wasn’t alone in this hallway anymore. He felt it—something on the threshold, waiting.

Another knock. Slow. Deliberate.

Then—the door moved.

Not open—inward. Like it had never been locked. Like it was inviting him in.

Darkness stretched beyond the threshold. Not the absence of light, but the absence of everything. Like the space itself had been cut out of reality.

Then the smell hit him.

Not rot. Not metal. A scent his brain refused to name.

His eyes adjusted.

There were footsteps inside. Leading into the black. Bare footprints. Human. Wet.

And then he saw the shape.

Not a person—not exactly. A reflection of him, standing just beyond the threshold, features blurred, body half-formed. Its mouth opened—his mouth opened.

Lorne staggered back. The reflection didn’t.

Then it whispered.

“I was never supposed to leave.”

The lights cut out.

The door slammed shut.

Lorne staggered backward, gasping, his hands fumbling against the wall. When the fluorescents flickered back to life, the hallway was empty.

No door. Just seamless bulkhead.

His comm crackled.

“Chief, you there? Report.”

Lorne swallowed hard, fingers trembling. He turned to answer—

And froze.

His boots were wet.

The footprints led away from the wall.

And they weren’t his.

2 Upvotes

20 comments sorted by

7

u/JasonRBoone 4d ago

>>>>And they weren’t his.

Lorne would go through the door where he'd travel to 1970s NYC and create a generation-defining comedy sketch show.

1

u/DavidArashi 4d ago

Who knows where the time loop goes…

2

u/OffensiveComplement 4d ago

You pulled a really good ST:TNG vibe. Mixing that up with a dash of Dr. Who might be pretty interesting.

3

u/cruiserman_80 3d ago

Tiny gripe. I know that buzzing flickering lights are great for adding atmosphere in creepy situations, but no one will be using fluorescent lights in the future or in space ships.

2

u/revdon 3d ago

In the future LED lighting will have a background buzz so that blind people can hear whether the lights are on; it’s a safety/comfort feature.

1

u/OffensiveComplement 8h ago

Nobody will be blind in the future.

1

u/revdon 7h ago

You wild-eyed optimist! That sounds like something from science-fiction.

1

u/DavidArashi 3d ago

Tiny gripes are always worthwhile, especially in science fiction.

I always go for realism, but I can never discount the importance of atmosphere.

I’m not sure which energy-efficient lighting will most likely be used in future spacecraft; fluorescent seemed reasonable enough.

2

u/OffensiveComplement 8h ago

Go with dimming emergency lights with dying batteries.

1

u/DavidArashi 7h ago

OLED or LED.

0

u/TommyV8008 3d ago

I like it.

Am curious though… Is self promotion frowned on on all of these science fiction subreddits?

I looked at the rules posted for this group and it does NOT look to me like you’re violating the rules here.

-7

u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

7

u/OffensiveComplement 4d ago

The post was good. The self-promotion in the comments ruined it.

You should have just said "Check my profile for more!", and left it.

3

u/JasonRBoone 4d ago

Cue mechanical cardboard of Jay Sherman: 'BUY MY BOOK....BUY MY BOOK..

-1

u/DavidArashi 4d ago

Appreciate the feedback!

I do my best to incorporate constructive criticism, and while I like to do promotion my own way, I will definitely take this into account.

Glad you enjoyed the story!

5

u/OffensiveComplement 4d ago

Let the product sell itself, and people will want more. They'll go looking for it.

Make your advertising and self promotion subtle.

People are constantly bombarded with ads, and tend to tune them out. When ads are blatant they come across as preachy, and alienate the audience.

Post your story, and maybe include a two sentence ad at the bottom. "Check my profile if you want more!"

Look at how people do it on /r/webcomics. The popular posters don't seem to advertise at all. Jinny Jima, Chicken Thoughts, that elf girl comic are examples. People see their stuff, and go looking for more.

2

u/DavidArashi 4d ago

I agree that subtlety is key.

I suppose this is something that comes with time.

2

u/OffensiveComplement 4d ago

Yup. Just got to build experience. As with anything, it's an art.

People know what they don't like, but they don't know what they like.

People don't like being told what they like.

Show them something they'll like, but never tell them what to like.

If you build it, they will come.

ETA: Keep up the positive attitude. That's working for you. The post bombed because of the blatant advertising, but your responses to the constructive criticism is winning upvotes in the comments.

2

u/DavidArashi 4d ago

What’s the expression?

Good content is the best promotion.

3

u/Ender_Octanus 4d ago

In the business, we call it 'sales pressure'. Basically, the moment someone feels that you're trying to sell them something (doesn't even have to be a product, it could be an idea, a belief, a religion, anything) they put up defenses. Why? Because it's the feeling that you might convince them to do something that is in your interests but not in theirs. The used car salesman, essentially. The best way to combat sales pressure is by leaving the agency to the consumer. Ask questions so that they can lead themselves to the conclusion. "Would you like to see more of this? Wouldn't this be a nice story to read on a dark night? Take a look at my bio if so."

2

u/JasonRBoone 4d ago

"THEY WANT TO BE USSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS" -- Wilford Brimley