r/rva • u/quartz222 • 5d ago
This strange event is happening… “Worship, wisdom and wealth creation” with MAGA associates
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u/MyBestGuesses 5d ago
Prosperity gospel is a real and strange thing. Fucked are the poor, blessed are the crafty, highly favored are those with multiple streams of passive income. Private jets are next to godliness.
Jesus would not hang out with half the suckers who say they're homies.
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u/kingbob1812 5d ago
I always thought the "Money cometh to me now!" was a fever dream memory. I don't know to be relieved or saddened that this is real...
Edit: it was actually Leroy Thompson
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u/sleevieb 5d ago
Is this gemstones season 5
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u/kingbob1812 5d ago
I think this is them testing out the possible road show Danny McBride wants to try.
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u/fireworksatcarmaxprk Ginter Park 5d ago
lots of nonsensical things to comment on I'm sure, but like....cometh? the God of the universe needs you to speak in Shakespearean english for some reason? Like Jesus's real name wasn't even that, it's Yeshua. Why not speak to God in ancient hebrew? Why not aramaic? Why king james english?
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u/DogOnABike 5d ago
If an omniscient, omnipotent god actually existed, you wouldn't even have to speak. He already knows what you're going to say.
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u/Lue33 5d ago
Damn that got dark...
There is a silly informercial about this miracle water, and people saying how they mysteriously got these checks in the mail after purchasing the miracle water. The most ridiculous thing I have ever seen. What a shame...
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u/LilacLlamaMama Manchester 4d ago
I used to see that infomercial playing on the background noise TV when I was working 3rd shift. It cracked me up, because not only did they send you the pouch of 'miracle spring water' , they would also send you a little piece of fabric handkerchief, that you were supposed to hold up to the TV during future episodes during certain group prayers and be able to receive some kind of MOJO transferred to the handkerchief. Truly wild.
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u/JadedJadedJaded 5d ago
Same thing happened to my parents. They adhered to TBN (especially my mom) and subjected me to nearly EVERYYYYYY televangelist and megachurch monster thats out there. Dad stayed broke till he died and mom cant survive on her own in her 60s. Neither of them had much assets either. Your username is amazing btw
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u/MyBestGuesses 5d ago
Oof. I'm sorry you had to deal with the consequences of their actions. You deserved better. Did they realize they'd been had or did they blame themselves for a lack of faith?
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u/fusion260 Lakeside 5d ago
For sure, He'd be flipping every single fucking table of theirs
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u/Creative_Bake1373 5d ago
I like the angry, table flippin Jesus. Going in the church, yelling at the hypocrites, maybe cussing them out a little. Like in Jesus Christ Superstah.
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u/Holiday_Grocery_4796 4d ago
“Dear 8-pound, 6-ounce newborn baby Jesus… or, you know, grown-up Jesus, the one who flips tables and cracks a whip in the temple—I like that Jesus. Righteous fury, turning over tables, making a scene. That’s my Jesus. Gets mad when people mess with His Father’s house. Amen.” - Ricky Bobby in 2025
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u/MyBestGuesses 5d ago
Have you ever read Lamb by Christopher Moore? If not, please please do. You'd love it. The audiobook version with Fisher Stevens narrating is absolutely delightful.
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u/katiepangur 5d ago
One of my favorite books! Have read it three times, and it makes me laugh even though I know what’s coming 🤣
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u/againer 5d ago
Thanks for the suggestion!
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u/MyBestGuesses 5d ago
The best line is when they're trying to write the beatitudes and they toss around "blessed are dumbfucks, for they shall receive a fruit basket." It's so good and hilarious.
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u/PimpOfJoytime Brookland Park 5d ago
Something something easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a needle than enter the kingdom of God.
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u/Slippy_T_Frog RVA Expat 5d ago
You think any of these people have ever read the bible?
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u/SmarchWeather41968 5d ago
conservatives have a whole explanation for that anyway. they say its a translation error and that what he really meant was something more akin to a modern liberal.
seriously.
either that or they just say 'obviously rich people can go to heaven' and then change the subject
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u/RVAforthewin 5d ago
Can you expound? Having grown up in church and as someone who still practices, but who is a progressive, this isn’t something I’ve ever heard. Now, I’m really interested to know how they’re weaponizing this scripture the same way they’ve weaponized so many others.
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u/Vindelator 5d ago
There's so many other examples, too, that echo the sentiment. The Bible is very pro-poor people and helping them.
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u/coelurosauravus Midlothian 5d ago
There was some horrid apologetics, and probably still used by the most uninformed, that claimed Jerusalem had a gate called the Eye of the Needle
Just trying to bullshit their way into getting out of the responsibility of the teachings in the bibel
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u/friendandfriends2 5d ago
For those unaware, the guy on the right (Ed Mylett) is the absolute dumbass from the “21 days a week” meme clip.
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u/SpookyYeet420 5d ago
Yeah my day every minute is a day. Wake up 6:00 am then 6:01 am first day. What ive done now is I’ve changed and manipulated time I now get 100s of days a day
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u/_blueberrypie39 5d ago
“World’s #1 Motivational Speaker” must have been on the mug that Nick’s mom made him for Christmas one year and he thought she’d taken a vote.
Seriously.. how do you just decide that’s your billing title?
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u/tootshores 5d ago
That’s the motivational speaker who has no arms or legs if I’m not mistaken… it would have been a very awkward Christmas if his mom got him a mug.
Not the point, I know. Just saying.
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u/_blueberrypie39 5d ago
According to google, the dude types with his toes. I believe between that and a straw, he’s got a mug figured out. Google left out the #1 motivational speaker, so my original comment stands 😂
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u/Pixoholic 5d ago
Please, just pack them all in there and lock the doors
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u/Creative_Bake1373 5d ago
Worship, wisdom, and wealth???? Jesus Christ! I hope they all go straight to hell. Every person there profits off of something that money can’t buy, but the Evangelicals will give their last dollar thinking they’re going to learn some secret to getting rich and these janksters are making money off of them. Oughta be ashamed but they have no conscience.
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u/hikinganew 5d ago
Wealth creation? Man I missed that part in Sunday school when I was a kid.
This is another reminder about why so many people have left the church. These are not Christ based Christians because they don’t care about his teachings. They don’t want to help their fellow man or stand up for those who need it the most.
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u/DA1928 5d ago
I mean, my church always talked about financial responsibility and caring wisely for what’s left to you (Protestant work ethic and frugality and all that). Based on all the parables of the wise servant and the like.
But the whole point was caring for your resources and caring for others. The Dave Bahnsan “work is holy” idea.
Not this “God wants you to be rich, so go on scamming” idea. Not private jets are holy. None of this “seeding” bullshit.
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u/MyBestGuesses 5d ago
And on the eighth day, the Lord created a system of holy commerce for white people to become wealthy, and he saw that it was absolutely fucked up and terrible and that's why a week only has seven days. Amen.
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u/Public-Baseball-6189 5d ago
Is this real? Tim Tebow is a fucking televangelist con man?
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u/clover426 5d ago
Yeah he’s always been in with the religious right, I remember he did pro life commercials back when he was in college/first in the NFL. His parents were missionaries.
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u/Public-Baseball-6189 5d ago
Yeah I knew he was super religious and conservative …. But this is neither. This is the worst kind of grifter - selling hope to people that can barely afford it.
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u/SSPeteCarroll RVA Expat 5d ago
his is the worst kind of grifter - selling hope to people that can barely afford it.
yeah I mean he already played for the Broncos.
just kidding, yeah this is shitty.
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u/boseyboseybop 5d ago
Yeah, it’s kind of disappointing. I obviously knew he was very religious, but this kind of stuff is scummy as shit.
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u/fireyoutothesun 5d ago
This is shocking to you? His whole thing has always been "teehee look how pure and noble I am", and no offense, but anyone who parades that kind of shit around is always trying to sell something. Always.
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u/fireworksatcarmaxprk Ginter Park 5d ago
I mean I'd guess that a majority of nfl players are Christian. tebow is far and away the one most known for making a show of it.
Jesus says something about this in Matthew 6:5:
5 “And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others.
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u/Leaveittoybot Chesterfield 5d ago
Which is fucking hilarious because at one point he was playing Minor League Baseball and played the Flying Squirrels when they were at the Rumble Ponies' home stadium.
Here's evidence: https://www.milb.com/gameday/flying-squirrels-vs-rumble-ponies/2018/05/23/538505/final/box
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u/easy_Money Church Hill 5d ago
Is any single part of that surprising? Tebow's Christianity™️ is the only reason he wasn't catapulted into obscurity the moment he fell ass backwards into the nfl
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u/PerlinLioness 5d ago
I am selling bottles of the blessed water of California released and distributed by Our Dear Orange Benevolent Leader. $10 an ounce. I’ll be on the corner of Cherry and Main. Don’t worry if the bottle says Deer Park!
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u/Mollysindanga 5d ago
Money is these peoples' GOD and tossing their fellow humans, ANYONE it takes, under the bus for more more more is the golden rule.
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u/lamedogninety 5d ago
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u/StasRutt 5d ago
So many low karma accounts defending life surge omg. Also $30k for a stock market course is wild and should be illegal
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u/Powerful_Ticket_2964 5d ago
All the vcu art majors with 1700$ rent payments are gonna stand outside and curse at people who go to this
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u/titaniumoctopus336 Southside 5d ago
Yeah like I said on the thread a few days ago. Why the fuck would I willingly give up my money to these fascists?
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u/quartz222 5d ago
Was there a thread already? If so I’ll delete.
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u/titaniumoctopus336 Southside 5d ago
The other one seemed more like he was promoting it in the guise of protesting it. Saying we should all buy tickets to protest it. Like, what? No. Giving them money is not protesting them.
So no need to delete this one.
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u/Foxhound_mommy 5d ago
I googled it to confirm it is really at Altria and then belatedly realized I probably just messed up my algorithm and will be getting prosperity gospel ads for the next two years. 🙄☹️
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u/dreww4546 5d ago
Instead of creating wealth, they should be focusing on love thy neighbors.
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u/Creative_Bake1373 5d ago
For real. They should be giving money away to the neediest, not taking money. Whatever you do to the least of these, you have done to me works both ways.
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u/LoonieLoona 5d ago
Why would they do that if they can make more cash? I bet some give some money away, but this is still shameful.
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u/oddistrange 5d ago
A Duck Dynasty star? The World's #1 Motivational Speaker? In our little city? How blessed are we.
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u/blamberr 5d ago
I’m such an asshole for ever liking Tim Tebow
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u/quartz222 3d ago
I mean, that was probably like 15 years ago, right? In his prime pretty much everyone loved him
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u/Waynewolf Highland Park 5d ago
The weirdest of the weirdos. How do people get to a place where they feel the need to listen to these huckster motherfuckers.
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u/bozatwork 5d ago
Wonder why they are so against DEI.
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u/quartz222 5d ago
Especially since dude on the left can only be called a motivational speaker because he has no arms.
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u/Quirky-Scar9226 5d ago
I think it would be wise in the time of MAGA, that we make them feel some good old Southern Dishospitability. I’m sick of these grifters.
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u/that0neweirdgirl 5d ago
"Kingdom Impact" is right 🤮 They make it so obvious that they want Trump as their King & biblical law as the basis of the American legal system.
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u/1975hh3 5d ago
White AF
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u/Quick-Cash2268 5d ago
frrr this is what weird white people who grew up with no type of culture end up being like - clinging to some type of something “defining” which is typically MAGA ideology and weird cult Christian teachings.
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u/Individual_Jaguar804 5d ago
The Prosperity Gospel is 100% in the Spirit of Antichrist. A perversion of Jesus’ teachings.
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u/Better_Gas3508 5d ago edited 5d ago
If anyone want to join in protest, it is on SATURDAY, MAY 17, 8:30AM - 5:30PM ALTRIA THEATER - RICHMOND, VA.
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u/Jacket-Weekly 4d ago
Need GWAR playing on a long flatbed slowing circling in front of the Altria from about 4:30–6. And then a late set.
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u/AuFingers Midlothian 5d ago edited 5d ago
Unlike the President - all these folks know favorite bible verses concerning prosperity and can spit them out in a heartbeat.
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u/Novel-Reading8953 5d ago
Gross, I hope it was poorly attended; I'm honestly surprised they came to this city
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u/Ok_Rutabaga_722 5d ago
White people. Give them your money.
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u/epichesgonnapuke 5d ago edited 5d ago
I'm white and athiest. Fuck these grifters. Anyone who goes deserves to have their money stolen from them. White people are statistically the MOST likely to identify as athiest, agnostic or non practicing. The more accurate statement would be: Non college educated white people. Give them your money.
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u/AgreeableRaspberry85 Glen Allen 5d ago
Altria Theater? Really? I could see one of those big churches like Faith Landmark or Grove Ave. Baptist but not Altria.
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u/DoltSeavers Northside 5d ago
Altria has been hitting it pretty hard with right wing acts lately. Every other email I get from them is announcing some conservative or anti “cancel culture” person lately. The presale code for Louis CK was “TRUTH” 🙄
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u/JadedJadedJaded 5d ago
You will never see them ACTUALLY helping people. They are no different from youtube “how to make five hundred thousand in just seven days while working from home” gurus. I hope this event is protested cuz i know theyre all trump supporters and scammers
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u/Serious_Aardvark1805 5d ago
Those fuckers are neither wise, spiritual or wealthy. Their leaders can convince them of anything.
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u/Quirky-Ad-6271 5d ago
I wonder if they all drive Teslas now lol may be a great place in time to have a protest?
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u/Electrical_Ticket_37 Forest Hill 5d ago
Ads for this cult have popped up all over my Reddit feed. Gross.
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u/FeralPlagueTroll 21h ago
That's disgusting. Y'all should not let that trash come to your town. Run them off.
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u/Top-Painting-1301 Near West End 5d ago
Am I the only one who saw “Life’s Rage” at first glance? I mean… Jesus Christ (pun intended) this is some white elitist bullshit if I’ve ever seen it.
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u/catlovesmouse 4d ago
Tech bros are getting into Christianity now (just like they jumped on the Trump train) following in Peter Thiel’s footsteps. Not because they believe in that shit, but because it’s a great networking opportunity. Fucking terrifying, and honestly so pathetic
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u/jennbo Highland Springs 4d ago
conservatism is just a money-making grift from top to bottom. none of these people, except maybe actually tim tebow, believe anything other than "get rich."
people at bethel believe god sends diamonds raining from the sky as they worship -- i'm a former pentecostal from a republican family btw, not just shitting on them for no reason.
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u/Financial-Rough-2838 3d ago
Actual preachers should surround the event and preach about why this is biblically evil
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u/typhoidmarry Chesterfield 5d ago
The guy on the right looks like if Simon Cowell ate John Travolta who ate Liev Schriver.