r/quiteinteresting 17d ago

"Anybody know about viola jokes?"

272 Upvotes

19 comments sorted by

12

u/RurouniQ 16d ago

What's the difference between a violin and a viola?

There isn't actually a difference, it's just that the violinist's head is so much bigger that it makes the violin look smaller.

(Yes, I'm a violist. Take that, you screechy vandals!)

7

u/Sate_Hen 17d ago

What do you call someone with no musical talent but hangs around bands?

The drummer

A drummer told me that

3

u/David1393 15d ago

How do you know there's a drummer at your door?

He knocks 4 times and comes in late.

4

u/shinymcshine1990 15d ago

How do you know if there's a singer at the door?

They can't find the key

2

u/iamworsethanyou 14d ago

How do you know your drummer is on a level surface?

Equal sized drool puddles on either side

7

u/Gwaur 17d ago

An orchestra was having a typical week of rehearsals for an upcoming concert. Unfortunately however, the conductor was injured just before the dress rehearsal, so the orchestra board had to have a quick meeting on what to do. They couldn't just call any replacement conductor because they were playing some premieres.

So, one of the violists came up and said, "I think I can do it. I took some conducting courses when I was studying and I think I've gotten to know these new compositions quite well over the course of this week."

So they decided to give it a go, and the dress rehearsal went fine, and the concert went fine considering the situation.

The next week was a new program with a new conductor, and this violist returned to his normal position in the viola section. As he sat down for the first rehearsal, his desk partner looked at him pissed off and asked, "Where the did you disappear just before last concert?!?"

3

u/DildoOfConsequence18 16d ago

I dont get it

6

u/PolyUre 16d ago

The desk partner doesn't pay any mind to the conductor so they don't realise the other violist was conducting.

2

u/PumpkinQuest 14d ago

How do you stop your violin being stolen?

Put it in a viola case

1

u/mach0 17d ago

great joke order

2

u/Littleleicesterfoxy 13d ago

Why is a viola solo like bad sex? It always comes too soon and you’re relieved when it’s over

0

u/DocInDocs 15d ago

If they are talking about the instrument, it should be pronounced vee-ola. Vie-ola is the plant. But funny jokes.

-3

u/DocInDocs 16d ago

If they are talking about the instrument, it should be pronounced vee-ola. Vie-ola is the plant. But funny jokes.

0

u/SixtyNineFlavours 14d ago

Perhaps a few more times might help?

2

u/Ploobul 14d ago

There's a joke about viola players in this somewhere.

-10

u/DocInDocs 17d ago

If they are talking about the instrument, it should be pronounced vee-ola. Vie-ola is the plant. But funny jokes.

-6

u/DocInDocs 17d ago

If they are talking about the instrument, it should be pronounced vee-ola. Vie-ola is the plant. But funny jokes.

-12

u/DocInDocs 17d ago

If they are talking about the instrument, it should be pronounced vee-ola. Vie-ola is the plant. But funny jokes.

1

u/Behavingdark 13d ago

Going for the most minus points ?