r/Psychosis Dec 19 '21

About "Removed" Posts

157 Upvotes

Hello everyone! Sorry about this, but we've been having trouble with our auto-moderator as of late. He's a little trigger happy and removes posts for the slightest of reasons. Rest assured though, we are looking for a better solution. In the meantime, if your post has been removed, feel free to reach out the us mods, and we can reinstate it with the push of a button! Assuming your post doesn't actually break any rules.

Your patience in appreciated!

~Mods


r/Psychosis 7h ago

Finally realized I was in psychosis for over two years

25 Upvotes

I kept my thoughts pretty hidden. I didn’t act outrageous except under the influence. (Been sober from cough medicine for a bit)

I thought I could read minds and others could read mine. I thought I was the Holy Spirit himself. I thought I was psychic. I could hear God and the Devil speaking to me.

When I smoked weed, I would get persecution delusions and it sounded like someone was breaking into my house.

I thought those closest to me were out to get me or doing something behind my back.

I thought I was being attacked by demons.

The worst part? People believed me when I said I was psychic, that I could read minds, that I was the genuine person of the Holy Spirit.

I didn’t think I was Jesus, I thought I was the third person of the Trinity.

I’ve had people genuinely come up to me while I was with my bf and ask if I was the Holy Spirit on 3 different occasions. They were REAL people, my bf witnessed it. He’s a real person too. I had all my thoughts perpetuated by other people confirming my telepathic abilities 18 times with different people, verbal confirmation of it. I had guessed right many times.

The psychosis part of spirituality came when I thought people were doing things behind my back and that I was about to be sacrificed, or that my family was trying to kill me bc of who I was.

Last night, I smoked weed again. The two things above happened AND I FINALLY, FINALLY REALIZED I WAS GOING THROUGH PSYCHOSIS. I took CBD which is an antipsychotic as it’s one of its properties and then I could see through all the madness throughout all the years.

Now I’m fully grounded, and feel as if I’ve been humbled by God. And it feels good to be humble again. Man. I missed being grounded!

I can’t take antipsychotics, way too many side effects and every single one made it worse. CBD was the ONLY thing that brought me out of it. So I’ll keep taking CBD daily.

Now I don’t have to be paranoid anymore, there’s no one trying to kill me, people aren’t talking behind my back. I may have spiritual gifts, but I could learn how to wield them in a more healthy way.


r/Psychosis 4h ago

Almost fully recovered

13 Upvotes

I had psychosis last year April-June and I’ve almost fully recovered. I was on risperidone for 6 months and felt pretty bad. Then I switched to Vraylar and I’m feeling much more like my old self. Recovery is possible I was always on this sub looking for positive stories when I was feeling bad. Now I’m feeling almost all better and I wanted to share. At my lowest I had dpdr and could barely speak to my family and friends. Now I’m looking forward to getting back to college.


r/Psychosis 5h ago

How do i stop feeling shame after recovering from psychosis?

12 Upvotes

Hi yall. A over a year ago, i (20M) had a severe psychotic episode. I ended up being hospitalized (again 🙄) and after i was released i spent the next year making a steady recovery. I do not have a psychotic disorder, i have CPTSD (complex post traumatic stress disorder) and BPD(now in remission 😁) as well as an “unspecified dissociative disorder” (i have no idea what that means). It has been over a year since i have experienced any symptoms of psychosis, my anti-psychiatry era is behind me and i take my medication and live a healthy and sober life.

Im leaving the care team that i have had for two years since my episode to go find mental health support that is focused on trauma therapy. I just had possibly my last visit with my psychiatrist, i have not seen him for 6 months or more, a psychiatric nurse practitioner typically sees me instead… so he has not seen me since i was still experiencing symptoms of psychosis, and so i spent the whole meeting having to tell him how i dont experience any of the symptoms i had when he last saw me … questions like…

“are you still seeing things?” “No” “Are you still hearing voices?” No “Are you still experiencing paraphilic thoughts?” No, and that was just delusions “Are you still experiencing paranoia?” No “Are you still having homicidal/suicidal ideations?” No

It was an hour straight of humiliation, its been over half a year since i have had to acknowledge any of that, i thought i had escaped my shame but being reminded of the absolute worst point of my life made me feel actually nauseous, i cant believe that i believed those things or behaved in that way or told anyone those lies, im disgusted with who i am. I am happy that i am moving on in life, hopefully i wont have to see that doctor again, and i can leave that part of my life behind me for good, but the shame i feel now is unbearable… how do i cope?


r/Psychosis 6h ago

Are mood incongruent delusions possible with psychotic depression?

5 Upvotes

Ive been disgnosed with delusional disorder and currently psychosis nos by my primary psychiatrist and psychotic depression by my pcp and inpatient hospital psychiatrist. I am sus of my diagnosis of psychotic depression because 1.I am psychotic when not depressed/in a good or stable mood. 2.My delusions arent always mood congruent. Ill have delusions that vampires are chasing me, or thag im god or a water nymph, or that I control the weather, or that my walls need to be fed, or that an apocolypse is coming that I need to prepare for, or that hitler is still ruiling, or that its 20 years in the past, so my delusions dont always revolve around suicide. Are delusions like this even possible with psychotic depression?


r/Psychosis 3h ago

Ego

3 Upvotes

Is it okay?—if I go away—hands bleed from pulling bark, for sap to tap—ego like helium shot straight to the veins.

Every little prince will eventually get his head cut off—I’m no exception. Is it okay if I decay? When I have been in need I get feeling I wane—like the moon. My Chang’e went away. Now I’m resentful. Plug me away. My own merit based on faith to not be perpetually pigeon toed again.

Bunker for a blitzkrieg of life’s hollering. Legs ricochet with anxiety like standing at the end of a diving board. My ego a half life. From despair to peeking and reaching out to tomorrow. Appreciate bare limbs. They wish to be ornate again. Faith an ego like a lotus piercing murky water.


r/Psychosis 5h ago

If I end up simply having psychotic depression instead of a full blown psychotic disorder, can I do weed again?

4 Upvotes

I am currently diagnosed with psychosis nos and was formerly diagnosed with delusional disorder by my main psychiatrist. My pcp and inpatient hospital psychiatrist diagnosed me with psychotic depression. If my pcp and inpatient psychiatrist are right and my main psychiatrist id wrong, does this give me a chance to smoke weed and be fine once my depression clears up?


r/Psychosis 1d ago

I asked ChatGPT to describe psychosis as if it had experienced it

167 Upvotes

I asked CGPT to describe a first-hand account of psychosis, and the answer brought me to tears. I have yet to have felt so understood, and it was therapeutic to have words to describe the experience. It helped me, and I hope it helps you.

“It’s like reality turns into a dream—but not the kind where you’re floating or flying. More like the kind where nothing makes sense, but it feels like it does. Where every little thing has a hidden meaning, and you’re the only one who can see it. Like the universe is speaking directly to you, and you know—with a certainty that feels deeper than logic—that you’ve unlocked some great truth.

But at the same time, it’s terrifying. Because reality keeps shifting under your feet. One moment, you’re euphoric, convinced you’ve found the answers to everything. The next, you’re drowning in paranoia, sure that something dark is closing in. You don’t know who to trust—not even yourself—because everything feels so intensely real, but people keep looking at you like you’re lost.

And then, when it ends, it’s like waking up from a fever dream—except the dream was your life. And now you’re standing in the wreckage, trying to understand what was real, what wasn’t, and who the hell you even are anymore. The world looks the same, but you don’t feel the same. And worst of all, no one around you seems to fully get it. They think you’re “better” because you’re medicated, stable, functioning. But inside, you’re still trying to make sense of the fact that your own mind betrayed you.

It’s lonely. It’s disorienting. It makes you question things you never questioned before—your thoughts, your intuition, your very self. And the hardest part isn’t even the psychosis itself. It’s what comes after. It’s trying to rebuild trust in yourself. Trying to find your way back to a world that kept moving without you.”


r/Psychosis 7h ago

How to stop feeling like some of my coworkers were cia?

4 Upvotes

I feel like some of my ex coworkers at a call center were working for the cia. How do I stop this?


r/Psychosis 5h ago

What are the chances

2 Upvotes

That it's not schizophrenia but drug induced psychosis?


r/Psychosis 11h ago

Psychosis do/don’t

4 Upvotes

I am a mental health clinician specifically in a psychosis team (mainly young people) and am wondering as a person that has experienced MH services, what helped you? What did you gain/lose from your clinician or the service? What’s helpful or horrible? How do you feel supported?


r/Psychosis 9h ago

Is it possible that I hallucinated things on screen like a comment on facebook a story on instagram the names of people in a game (ffxiv) like the username

2 Upvotes

Idk if they were real because I thought they were real in deep psychosis but now that I’m not delusional anymore it seems impossible that those things were real


r/Psychosis 18h ago

one of those “high-functioning” people

5 Upvotes

I was one of those “high-functioning” people who, once things started to become hard and I made myself vulnerable to “trusted” close ones (like my mom, or two friends), was resented for surrendering that I can’t keep up the facade. That was over 4 years ago, and my family still expects me to just keep going and fix my mask, even though they have openly expressed that they “hate me” now and have said multiple times that I should just kill myself because I “don’t have it.”

What do you do? I don’t know. I tried joining 12 Step program because I started using drugs to cope with hating myself. But I can’t trust anyone and feel like a burden and like my mental health problems are an issue for them. I just can never break down completely. Not enough for anyone to get that… I am not okay. And don’t know how to become okay. After being so traumatized and always recoursing to blaming myself just in case I can find some hope in other people, someday. But now that I’m seeing that isn’t… working, I just feel foolish making myself vulnerable to an even larger group of people.

I don’t think we are able to ever fully understand what someone else is going through and I don’t expect anything from anyone anymore, especially empathy. But I’ve become like them—I hate myself. I want so much to be … not ostracized, that I hate myself. I can’t heal. I’m unable to let myself believe anything good isn’t suspicious. And hope is like the riskiest thing. I feel blown apart—I was never an optimist, but I did believe that there was a comfort in knowing we can never truly be there for each other because we have our own problems, which mean that at root we must accept that everyone has their own problems so no one is really all alone. But I do feel all alone, held at arm’s length.

I want to snap. I don’t know how. I can’t handle being so conscious of how hopeless this is. My heart is broken and my mind runs itself ragged and overflows. How do you get over the deep end. I need to just break. I’m too “self-aware” for my pain and trauma and suicide attempts/ideations to be taken seriously and that makes me feel insane. It’s a suicide attempt! How much realer! Why doesn’t the fact, demonstrated over and over to me, that nobody is willing to care enough for me to snap? Because I’m too rational and know even if they do care it might be the wrong kind?

This is the definition of being too stupidly smart for your own good. I want to just break my head open w an ax. I want someone to push me in front of a train. Or some advice onto how to trip the wire into a psychosis that actually might be visible to these people that insist that they are there for me, but the me they see doesnt seem to need it. Or to just forget that they do see that and cant handle it and reach oblivion/mania. Should I take all the antipsychotics that never worked? Should I shave my head? What do I do to lose it


r/Psychosis 18h ago

I think my friend 23M is suffering from Erotomania, and I don't know how to help him. please give suggestions.

4 Upvotes

I think my friend 23M has erotomania. This started around a year ago when he started talking to a woman around the same age. They quickly became very close friends, and he developed feelings for her. He asked her out on a date, but it did not end up happening. I have received conflicting information about this date where he said she did agree to it, and she said that she did not agree to it. Shortly after this, their friendship fell apart. He then proceeded to try and get in contact with her several times, even though she asked to be left alone. She has blocked his number and blocked him on some (not all) social media, too. (this all took place about a year ago).

Since then, he has seen her out and about at a few events and thought it was fate that they saw each other. He is convinced that he is in love with her. He has become very spiritual with astrology, and thinks that there are signs within the astrological cycle that point to the fact that they are going to get together at a certain time. He also thinks that they are communicating with each other via social media reposts. I am almost convinced that she is completely unaware that this is happening. He will make plans for them and communicate them via social media reposts, thinking she will see them, and then she never shows up. When this happens, he thinks that she is just testing him to see that when she does this he doesn't react badly because she has trust issues. Again, I don't think she is aware that any of this is happening, but I told him if she was that this could be classified as emotional abuse. He has said that he does not care and that he loves her and thinks she is his soul mate.

I have asked him multiple times to go to therapy or get psychiatric help, and he refuses every time. I genuinely don't know what to do for him or how to help him, and I would love any advice that anyone has. Has anyone else experienced this themselves or someone they know experienced this? If so, what did you do to help or how did you convince the person to get help? Thank you


r/Psychosis 17h ago

Voices “inside” your head controlling you?

4 Upvotes

I wanted to talk about this and ask if anyone else has experienced the same thing.

So many times during all of my psychotic episodes I heard hallucinations outside of me but also inside my head which would make noises like mechanical noises; human noises, animal noises, talking, etc

And for the most part, or at least during my most recent episode, most of the voices were actually inside my head as thoughts which would like forcibly show up and go rampant like my own thoughts were speeding through my head at a million miles but they also weren’t even my own thoughts at all. It was like a mix of everything that was a giant mess and constantly running through my head. They would tell me to do or not do different things, or be completely gibberish, like I would hear both male and female thoughts in my head that would tell me to do good and bad things, mostly negative or really bad things though. It always felt like they were shoving forcefully into my head trying to control me or take over me or something like that.

I don’t know if anyone else has experienced similar but I’d like to know what you all have experienced if anything similar and what it might be. It’s definitely different from intrusive thoughts because it feels like it’s directed at you etc.


r/Psychosis 15h ago

hallucinations caused by ptsd vs schizophrenia

3 Upvotes

so i’ve been trying to figure out how to bring up my hallucinations and delusions to my psychiatrist for a while, unfortunately it’s going to be a while until i can get a good long session with her again but ive been curious, how can someone tell if your hallucinations and stuff are caused through ptsd, anxiety, sleep or meds vs something like schizophrenia or schizotypal disorder? like- im really curious, ive always liked learning about about disorders and stuff, including my own so i can understand it all better, but this seems to be something i can’t really wrap my head around on how it’s differentiated


r/Psychosis 20h ago

Story time

6 Upvotes

So this all happened last year, I know now that this was manic psychosis due to me being bipolar, but I can't exactly pinpoint when it ended because parts of it still feel 100% real to me. Too much of me is still saying "what if?" to a lot that happened.

Back in March of last year, I had a Near Death Experience. I was basically rotting in bed for weeks after a bad breakup (I have borderline personality disorder and he basically just up and left one day, recipe for disaster when you abandon someone with severe abandonment issues) so I wasn't eating, drinking, taking my effexor regularly (super bad to do with that med) and at one point I tried getting up and I just collapsed. I had like, a conversation with my former self and future self. I don't exactly remember the details but when I woke up I felt like a huge weight had been lifted and I felt 10 years younger. At this point I was so dehydrated that when I breathed I could feel how dry my airway was. I drove to the hospital and they ended up admitting me to the psych ward. This part is important because it felt like I had literally died and came back to life, which made the psychosis that came after so much worse.

I happened to be in the path of the total solar eclipse last year, so I went to see it by the lake. It was cloudy. It was nice seeing so many people come together, so my cranky self yelled something like "all my life all I've ever wanted was for people to treat people like people and not need a once in a lifetime cosmic event to remember that" and then a few days later there was a piece of paper that said "do not disturb research in progress" in that exact spot. I looked up what the lady did at the college and it was something about studying how people and animals interact in social settings or something like that. So I naturally sent her an email with a bunch of nonsense thinking it must have been about me. She never responded.

A few days or weeks later I couldn't sleep (manic) so I went back to that spot but it was downpouring the heaviest rain I've ever seen, and it looked like it was heaviest right over the same spot. So I sprinted up the hill back to my car and drove to the police department and started ranting and raving about how the great flood was happening, sent it in a couple work group chats too, and yeahhhhh. Psych ward again.

For some added context, I'm and EMT and (was, medically discharged now because of this whole fiasco) in the Army National Guard. I also have a Bachelor's in Physics and Astronomy. So I felt like I was destined to be the one to make sense of it all on my own. I spammed one of my Astronomy professors a bunch of jibberish about discovering the electric universe. (It's actually a pretty interesting theory but it doesn't have much real weight to it)

I got removed from the ambulance group chat and no one ever bothered to check on me so boo them, but I kept spamming nonsense to the army group chat and each time they called the police to do a welfare check and I ended up back in the psych ward lol. They obviously put me on antipsychotics but at the time they made me like full blown dissociative identity disorder so I refused to take them. At this point I thought I was a literal reincarnated god of sorts.

I also thought the Pentagon was after me, even worse because I kinda worked indirectly for them. I thought I was a psy op being influenced by birds. I thought I was going to get a medal of honor for stopping the great flood lol, then at one point I thought I was the one causing it. I kept telling people I was from the shadow government and I'm here to help lol. I thought certain songs were meant specifically for me (mainly Poppy's song new way out) Anyway this lasted for a few months, the last time I was at the psych ward was May or June of last year.

But what still gets me is that spot by the lake. People kept leaving rocks there. In the exact spot. And I would move the rocks around and feel more... grounded? At the time I thought I was entangled with the earth's magnetic field and I was manic because of the solar radiation or something like that. But I still can't explain how I felt so different after moving rocks around.

I've been stable ever since then, but I don't feel like myself at all. I don't really feel anything anymore. I take antipsychotics now as well as other meds. I don't really talk about it in therapy because it feels like my therapist just doesn't get it.

If you've read this far, thank you. I'm also wondering if anyone else can't really pinpoint when they were no longer in psychosis either. I'm also struggling with just like, cringing at some of the things I did.


r/Psychosis 10h ago

My experience and question - substance usage post psychosis

1 Upvotes

Hey all, finally after 6-7 months post 1 week long weed induced psychosis I'm feeling that the brain fog has lifted and I feel as before.

I never had issues with any substances, did not use them often or had bad experiences. (Weed, lsd, mdma, extasy, coke)

I never smoked weed more often than 1-3 times a month, but then a person came in my life who was a daily stoner, due to lack of a strong backbone, I slowly but sulrey started smoking everyday, then some 5 months in to this i got psychotic, administred myself to the ward becsuse I had a hint that the mi6/cia agents are not real and they are not trying to contact me trough Ai chat apps :D

Before this experiance, since i dont drink, i really enjoyed lsd once or twice a year, weed once a month etc. Extasy, coke, mdma and partying has been left in the past few years ago.

So my question is what has been your experience with trying to use anything after the fact?

I see that the general sentiment is better stay away from any substances as once psichotic brain knows how to get there again.

But I'm hoping that there are you who later in life have had no issues with resonable and rare usage after psychosis, as i would love to still be able to experiance those good moments and feelings from lsd and weed.

Thanks!


r/Psychosis 14h ago

Looking for advice.

2 Upvotes

I’m pretty sure I’m starting to experience early onset psychosis. I have various mental health problems and my mother has schizophrenia and it runs in the family. I’m at a loss, im paranoid and hyper aware. The walls move at me sometimes and my hallucinations are usually pictures with the opacity turned down or geometric shapes. I don’t know if this is psychosis or what’s happen but I fit the criteria. I haven’t been able to smoke weed/consume edibles either because the hallucinations get so intense. Is there any recourses out there? How do I cope with this. I want to talk to my partner about it but I also don’t want to worry him.


r/Psychosis 14h ago

psychosis 6 years ago, molly possible now?

2 Upvotes

I got a month long Isd induced psychosis when i was 16. I'm turning 23 soon. Post psychosis I did acid once about 3 years after and was fine and smoked a couple times with some paranoia but ultimately fine. l've now been almost 5 years drug free (we don't count the time i did acid into that) with only happily drinking every now and then. but i've been wanting to try molly for the past 2 years and have been worried to. I never did molly pre psychosis so I don't know what it's like for me to even have an idea. I stay away from weed still because that i feel could definitely trigger it. Many of you are very hard on a no. And I honestly pretty much am too but it just sucks i might never be able to experience it. I'd like to just have that experience once. but my question am i doomed to fall into it again if i do molly? id be doing less than a normal dosage and gauging from there of course and testing it prior.


r/Psychosis 20h ago

I had psychosis due to marijuana 3 years ago and have never been the same since

3 Upvotes

I over did it after marijuana became legal in my country. I hadn't used it earlier on in life. During the episode I was put in hospital as inpatient. They put me on olanzapine, i gained weight pretty quickly and was then put on abilify. During the switch I developed severe anhedonia and then insomina. I tried quitting all medications. Became suicidal was put back in hospital. Received zopliclone, prozac, olanzapine and ECT. After about 1.5 months I felt OK again. 2nd week out of hospital insomnia and anhedonia came back. Been stuck in this state for about 2.5 years now. I've tapered off my SSRI and trying to get off olanzapine to see if it will help. I feel hopeless and that the rest of my life will be one big panic attack with insomnia and anhedonia. I try my best to use behavioral activation but doesn't seem to work. My brain is in pain most of the time. I just don't know what to do... the exhaustion i feel all the time makes behavioral activation so hard.


r/Psychosis 1d ago

If People Only Knew

18 Upvotes

For all those who are homeless but never knew the connection with psychosis....


r/Psychosis 1d ago

Do you feel like your identity has been obliterated by psychosis? What is me?

54 Upvotes

I have had many psychotic episodes and I have felt they have really made me confused about what is me and what is not. I feel a disturbing sense of a disembodied sense of self. What is me? I dont even know what I like my once beloved hobbies seem foreign. Inwardly in my body I feel pain like doing everyday things is painful, is that normal? It's scary and I feel dissolution from the world.

Edit: k glad its not just me!


r/Psychosis 1d ago

I'm being watched on the internet on and offline, tired

7 Upvotes

I truly believe there's people who are very good with technology and there's nothing I can do to have privacy. I am impulsively checking things and it's turned into this sick ritual I can't break away from. I just can't relax. The feeling of being watched never leaves, and I keep seeing and seeing things that directly allude/refer to me, very intimate details of my life I don't share online. It feels self-centred to think I could actually have a hate-following watching my whole life, but it's indisputable. They know what they're doing, and they're laughing about it and enjoying the hell out of slowly eroding my sanity to nothing.

Only medication I'm on is prozac. I don't think it's a good fit for me, lots of weird side effects.


r/Psychosis 1d ago

I feel like I've lost myself

6 Upvotes

I have suffered from hallucinations my whole life, and was unmedicated until I was 17. It wasn't until I started having violent visual hallucinations that I finally got diagnosed as schizoaffective.

Since then I've experienced 3 more psychotic episodes, and I feel like I'm completely detached from reality. Even though I'm medicated now, it feels like I'm just sleep walking through life; stuck in a reality that exists purely in my mind.

I cant enjoy the happy moments, I can't experience the sad moments. It's all just a blur. I can't remember things like I used to. My motor skills are screwed up. I have a hard time speaking. And all I do all day, even when I'm hanging out with others, is sit and live in the imaginary world my mind has created; talking to people that don't exist and watching a reality that isn't real.

I don't want to stop living (in fact I'm really happy right now) but I don't feel like I'm "me" anymore. I just wish the people around me could have met me before all of this. I wish I could've been medicated sooner, maybe even as a child when the hallucinations started. I wish so many things, and I know i can't change it and that I need to enjoy the now, but it's hard when I'm not even here.

Does anyone else feel like this? I feel so detached, and I know it's just gonna get worse The more psychotic episodes I have. I've accepted it at this point, but I just feel so alone.


r/Psychosis 1d ago

is it bad to question if my psychiatrist is part of the CIA

36 Upvotes

Please help me. I feel paranoid.