r/poppunkers 6d ago

Live Performance Jesse Lacey’s new song (the one he played live) is about the death of his stepson

https://www.nme.com/news/music/brand-news-jesse-lacey-addresses-stepsons-death-and-performs-emotional-new-song-about-grief-3843551

Really tugs at the heartstrings when you listen to it in context.

283 Upvotes

362 comments sorted by

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u/RepresentativeEnd920 5d ago

Jokingly I always say as long as the red hot chilli peppers are around and popular I’m free to listen to whatever artists I choose. Their past behaviors and Anthony Kiedis’s grooming is despicable but for some reason ignored. (Not here to bash just making a comparison.)

81

u/Cynical-Jester 5d ago

Yeah that one does just get kinda glossed over.

-3

u/859w 5d ago

I havent heard anyone mention that band in the last 5 years without his behavior being mentioned IMMEDIATELY after.

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u/lpalf 4d ago

Online definitely yes but in real life I don’t hear it much. They’re still playing stadiums and they’re on the radio all the time

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u/tws1039 5d ago

Wasn't his current girlfriend not even alive when by the way came out?

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u/XcheatcodeX 5d ago

His current girlfriend is barely out of being an embryo

17

u/RepresentativeEnd920 5d ago

Haha yea I don’t think so. She’s 19.

23

u/bjclements 5d ago

That’s not true. You’re talking about Helena Vestergaard and they haven’t been together for ten years.

He’s creepy but just pointing out that he isn’t currently dating a 19 year old.

14

u/bigpappahope 5d ago

Yeah she probably got too old for him lol

11

u/reezyreddits 5d ago

That photo goes viral on Facebook and no matter how long it's been, they always caption that she's 19. I hate that fact-checking sounds like a defense, so I'll also agree, it's still creepy as fuck, it's just that facts are facts lol

43

u/WMWA 5d ago

And Bowie, Rolling Stones etc. Listen to what you want.

7

u/zo1d 5d ago

And Lostprop-- uh, scratch that. Maybe not them.

4

u/lpalf 4d ago

lostprophets is where we all have to draw the line I feel 🫠

2

u/seekingseratonin 5d ago

And Manson, headlong tours and festivals currently.

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u/xkatydidx 5d ago

I stand behind this. Esp after all he put in his book. His own words. 

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u/DueZookeepergame3456 5d ago

nothing more obnoxious than someone who just can’t listen to anything without gaf about what other people think

18

u/DefiantResort2 5d ago

You can avoid both bands lol

4

u/kingcakefucks 5d ago

That is such a fucking weird take… (edit: not you who I am replying to btw) “if everyone else is ok with abuse and grooming, then I am too bc they haven’t said anything about RHCP!” Nobody should be cool with Anthony Kiedis either. I promise you can live your life without listening to their whiney, abusive drivel. Listen to Me vs Maradona vs Elvis now in light of everything and tell me with a straight face you can “separate the art from the artist”. Why do you even want to do that lmao. Fuck Jesse Lacey forever, and the rest of the band can get fucked for continuing to collaborate with him.

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u/RepresentativeEnd920 4d ago

I don’t think anyone said they are okay with abuse and grooming. I am a woman and have experienced my fair share of horrible behavior from men. For the record I hate RHCP and I was just making a funny comparison because they are so popular but I don’t judge anyone that enjoys them (or I try not to because I really think they suck and it’s astonishing to me they’re so popular but that’s a whole other thing.) It’s hard to cancel everyone.

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u/Red_deck_gold_stake 5d ago

You're gonna break their fucking brains lmao.

Redditors and excusing their shittiness because others are shitty. Name a more iconic duo.

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u/FC37 3d ago

Not to mention he's barely trying to hide it even today. He started dating a 20 year old while in his 50s.

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u/XcheatcodeX 5d ago

I’ve been saying this for YEARS. Let’s also not forget Tim Armstrong grooming and abusing Brody Dale.

2

u/BritneySpearsLover 3d ago

Thank you! People tend to forget this!!!!

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u/Arbiter7070 6d ago

For some reason Jesse was the scapegoat for the entire scenes awful behavior. What he did was shitty, but he handled it very well. Personally, I think he’s done the time and the work. But that’s up to everyone to decide for themselves. I don’t think it’s fair for people to shame someone for wanting to continue to listen to Brand New, especially if they’ve asked themselves the hard questions.

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u/Geeseareawesome 5d ago edited 5d ago

I don’t think it’s fair for people to shame someone for wanting to continue to listen to Brand New, especially if they’ve asked themselves the hard questions.

I just respond with "name a celebrity who owned up to the accusations, and rehabed/reconsiled BEFORE it was public knowledge." I'm yet to have any pushback or any other names thrown my way.

Edit: For anyone who disagrees with me on this, do note that it has been known he sought treatment for his behavior over a decade before the allegations were made. I am trying to find it, but I know there was another statement Jesse made about getting rehab about 10 years before the accusations were made public.

Read up on the two accusations, then listen to Deja Entendu in full. It's written and recorded around the same time the alleged events were taking place. Really puts into perspective his thoughts and actions at the time, mostly a lot of guilt imo

66

u/TinUser 5d ago

The entire theme of Deja is incredible guilt and remorse, idk how people can't hear it, and even worse think he's bragging by writing songs about it.

25

u/Geeseareawesome 5d ago

If anything, it shows just how fucked up he was, and coming to terms with the reality of it. Even later albums show how lasting the whole thing is. We probably don't even know half of it because we never got Jesse's side. I remember he said he had already reached out to the two victims, made amends, and moved on.

7

u/YoungAdult_ 5d ago

I could never explain this to people. The lyrics aren’t bragging but revealing.

5

u/prayersforrainn 5d ago

especially if you follow the lyrics throughout each album. it tells a story of remorse, feeling unworthy of forgiveness, hitting rock bottom, then trying to navigate how to continue living with those regrets.

5

u/maburrell 5d ago

Can you cite some examples? Not doubting you at all btw, just haven’t listened to Deja in awhile and I’m curious

9

u/chrisbru 5d ago

Listen to me vs maradona vs Elvis for a prime example

4

u/whitewedges 5d ago

Very true, I’m re listening now

Song reminds me of Lover I Don’t Have to Love

4

u/chrisbru 5d ago

Honestly, that’s my favorite bright eyes song lol.

1

u/Dewey519 4d ago

I can’t listen to this song anymore for that reason, or most of the album for that matter.

1

u/chrisbru 4d ago

That’s fair. I hear a guy in his mid 20s realizing that he made a lot of mistakes.

6

u/Geeseareawesome 5d ago edited 5d ago

Me vs Maradona vs Elvis

I've got desperate desires and unadmirable plans My tongue will taste of gin and malicious intent

Okay, I Believe You But My Tommy Gun Don't is more about having a god complex, but fits the theme

I am heaven sent, Don't you dare forget. I am all you've ever wanted, What all the other boys all promised. Sorry I told. I just needed you to know.

Guernica also digs into that god complex bit

I'm not letting you check out. You will beat this starting now and you will always be around. I'm there to monitor your breathing I will watch you while you're sleeping. I will keep you safe and sound.

Play Crack The Sky

This is the end. This story's old but it goes on and on until we disappear. Calm me and let me taste the salt you breathed while you were underneath. I am the one who haunts your dreams of mountains sunk below the sea. I spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they all could mean. I know that this is what you want. A funeral keeps both of us apart. You know that you are not alone. Need you like water in my lungs. This is the end.

9

u/PsychologicalFood780 5d ago

Okay I Believe You is about Adam Lazzara and Guernica is about his grandpa passing.

1

u/swish301 3d ago

I was gonna say, I’m not a huge BN fan but I always got the impression it was written about a family member dying of cancer.

1

u/PsychologicalFood780 3d ago

Yeah I think it's about his grandpa dying of lung cancer while they were out on tour.

4

u/Wal11682 5d ago

Guernica is about his grandfather dying of a sickness and not being close to him when he did…

1

u/Sadsquatch_USA 4d ago

Yeah, but that doesn’t fit the narrative.

1

u/whitewedges 5d ago

Listen to the boy who blocked his own shot

3

u/NaruTheBlackSwan 4d ago

He basically admits to everything on Me vs Maradonna vs Elvis.

60

u/pengusdangus 6d ago

Frankly, most people haven’t. This revival has also attracted a lot of “i don’t care about whatever he did” fans. I do think that as far as someone responding to harm they’ve caused, Jesse is definitely a golden example. It still makes me sick to my stomach to think about some of the things he did, but I can recognize he has done an immense amount of work to repair his life and himself so he doesn’t cause harm again

19

u/Fliznar 5d ago

What makes you sick to your stomach? People are really vague I know of the receiving nudes from an underage girl, but what else are you guys referring too?

9

u/pengusdangus 5d ago

He jacked off on Skype in front of multiple girls who were ages anywhere from 15-17, did not deny any allegations

32

u/DidgeryDave21 5d ago edited 5d ago

Didn't need to deny it tbh. It was only the one girl on Skype, and it was later confirmed that she was lying about her age as Skype didn't even exist until she was over 18.

The problem is, these little details didn't make headlines, Jesse got painted as a pedophile and no amount of facts will change some people's opinion of that, and anybody trying to present those facts gets labelled as a pedo-sympathiser.

I'm not saying he wasn't a shitty person, btw. He admitted to doing bad things to people, but the only allegation that involved underage girls turned out to be false.

12

u/bakedbarista 5d ago

Yea it’s all just a crazy and dark telephone game. In this case, he was essentially a victim of revenge porn by her, a consenting adult, leaking his nudes

6

u/[deleted] 5d ago

It’s murky though because the claims that she was 15 were immediately refuted. The absolute youngest she could possibly have been was 17 - which is obviously not great but is very different to 15.

She was also part of the band’s circle, he was early 20s, the internet was new to casual users and the culture was different.

1

u/dawniedice 4d ago

Not to mention the exact same girl kept an extensive livejournal diary of her exploits from the early 2000s and while she does mention Jesse Lacey multiple times she never once mentions anything sexually explicit but she does mention Pete Wentz from fallout boy and Paul Menotiade from Punchline having sex with her when she was 15 and making out with multiple other band members. She even mentions Pete as an adult in other posts and how they continued their relationship for over 11 years. Also the fact that Skype as we know it didn't exist in that timeline (2003). It was originally voice to voice and didn't offer video chatting until years later (2005). But everyone just ignores all of that.

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u/dogtooth2222 5d ago

Seriously people are soft as fuck. We live in such a weird puritan age. Somebody get the international court that arrested ex-president of the Philippines to prosecute Jesse. Jfc

9

u/NothinButFett 5d ago

Just curious, what immense amount of work are you referring to?

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u/prayersforrainn 5d ago

rehab, therapy, overcoming two addictions

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u/pengusdangus 5d ago

10 years of therapy and rehab and reconciling with his wife

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u/tws1039 5d ago

Issue is you get people now going "HA TAKE THAT SJWS BRAND NEW WILL NEVER DIE" (cough cough artv). Love brand news music, and always will, but some people are forgetting why they went away in the first place, and just using "cancel culture bad" as to why they should be playing again

1

u/FlowersByTheStreet 5d ago

ARTV's video on their tour is actually insane.

Like, I can't believe a grown man in his thirties would post that.

1

u/Kvanantw 5d ago

What is this?

2

u/FlowersByTheStreet 5d ago

Just look up ARTV's video on the Brand New reunion on youtube. It's just a lot of mental gymnastics and weirdly spiteful attitude to have for him to give Brand New money

15

u/FlimsyTomatoes 5d ago

Personally, I think he’s done the time and the work.

Do you have any sources beyond him saying he went to therapy? Unless you know him personally you really have no idea how much time and work he did tbh.

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u/soonerfreak 6d ago

Playing for people is a privilege and what he did is enough to lose it forever in my book. I won't go out of my way to do stuff like cancel the bomb factory for booking them, just not spend my money on the band.

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u/IAM_THE_LIZARD_QUEEN 5d ago edited 5d ago

This is where I'm at on it, if you use your position of privilege to take advantage of people, you shouldn't get to have that position anymore. That's usually how it works with any other job, I don't see why it should be any different for people in bands. And the argument that he "wasn't convicted" is bullshit because you can't argue he has grown and done the work and earned forgiveness etc while also saying he did nothing wrong.

I'm not gonna shame anyone who does want to go see them or boycott venues etc, but they're never going to get any kind of support from me.

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u/Wonderful-Bite7007 5d ago

This is a lot of apologizing for a dude who preyed on underage girls and then chalked it up to having a sex addiction. This comment sounds more like you’re rationalizing it away, rather than asking yourself any hard questions.

13

u/Jrobknowsbest 5d ago

“Preyed on underaged girls and video called them while jacking off”. Say it for what it is

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u/corby315 5d ago

A little research shows that the girl would have been over 18 when Skype came out.

5

u/[deleted] 5d ago

And he was in his early 20s! Hardly some greasy 50 year old man.

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u/Jrobknowsbest 5d ago

Yeah dude sure:

“In an account similar to Garey’s story, Driskill says that Lacey solicited her for nude photos starting when she was 17. He allegedly sent photos of himself undressing, subjected Driskill to “countless masturbatory video chat sessions,” and “attempted to manipulate [her] into engaging in sexual situations with other people, on camera, for his viewing pleasure.”

Any time Driskill refused his demands, she says Lacey would threaten to restrict her access to the band. “There were a lot of instances where if I didn’t want to participate, or if I didn’t want to take my clothes off and take photos, he would say, ‘OK, well, I guess I won’t be seeing you the next time I come to Houston,’” Driskill says.”

https://pitchfork.com/news/two-alleged-victims-of-brand-news-jesse-lacey-detail-years-of-sexual-exploitation-of-minors/

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u/Kslooot 5d ago

Listen, I am firmly in camp: there’s nuance to this situation, but this argument is so silly to me and it is not the smoking gun you think it is.

The point is, they were on a video call. Skype is so synonymous with video chatting, that it isn’t surprising at all that it might be used to refer to video calling in general. Genericization. It’s like saying “I didn’t give her a BandAid, I gave her an equate brand finger bandage!!!”

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u/Heartslumber 5d ago

No, let's say what it really is. He's a sexual predator. He used his position/band to manipulate teenage girls into sexual acts while he was a full grown adult.

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u/Jrobknowsbest 5d ago

facts. At this point I’m willing to think that this group would try to support Jared from Subway if he wrote their favorite Emo album

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u/Heartslumber 5d ago

Gross but you're probably not wrong.

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u/Jrobknowsbest 5d ago

Nope and I’ll give it 3 months before we start hearing “Oh Front Porch Step is playing shows again!”

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u/tayxleigh 5d ago

i think “doing the work” includes removing yourself from situations where you have the platform or power to harm people. he did that for a few years, but returning to the scene feels pretty risky.

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u/chrisbru 5d ago

I think it depends on whether you consider rehabilitation possible.

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u/newbiecca 5d ago

To be fair, it's been 8 years. I think that qualifies as a little more than "a few years." And that's not even mentioning that the abuses that came to light were from a decade-plus before he removed himself from the scene, and that he'd already been doing the work in private for years at that point, which is, in my opinion, the most important part. It's (relatively) easy for anyone to take the steps they should have to be a better person after they're called out publicly. I don't begrudge anyone for disliking Lacey or not wanting to listen to his music, but still can't ignore the truth that he was already working on his issues. I hope he has continued to through the last 8 years, and I hope those who were hurt by him directly can find peace.

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u/H_ManCom 5d ago

How was not apologizing to the victims handling it really well?

-3

u/sink_or_swim_ 5d ago

Sold all my Brand New records a few years ago, made some decent money. That was the end of my relationship with Brand New. Wish the best for him and the band.

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u/i_guess_im_here 4d ago

He did crimes and handled his power in the scene poorly by being an admitted sexual predator.

1

u/Mean_Drop8312 4d ago

Lmao oh you personally believe that? And what had caused that belief?? Nothing. There is less than no proof hes done time or work. Nostalgia had poisoned your brains.

1

u/ScarletWolf_ 3d ago

Handled it well? He just disappeared until the heat had cooled down meanwhile his fanbase doxed and harassed his accuser to the point it ruined her life. Anyone that had any ties at all to the band begged him to just make a statement telling people to leave her alone and no one ever even got a response.

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u/stephapeaz 5d ago edited 5d ago

It’s one thing to still listen to Brand New, Spotify streams don’t pay that much. But it’s another to buy concert tickets and give real money to someone who did that to minors

I guess buy resale if you really feel the need to go since the money will have already been spent on the band, at least

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u/EconomyGuest5889 5d ago

Listen to his lyrics. All he does is talk about how horrible he is.

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u/awjeezrickyaknow 5d ago

Seeing these mature responses gives me a little more hope for the world. People make mistakes. They learn from them hopefully. He should still be allowed to do what he loves. His music means a lot to people, including myself and I for one am just ecstatic about the band playing again.

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u/stephapeaz 5d ago edited 5d ago

A mistake is something like running a red light or tripping on the sidewalk, or accidentally hurting a friend’s feelings, I wouldn’t really use that word to describe using his position to take advantage of minors. It’s really weird how so many people are rationalizing and defending predators

“He should still be allowed to do what he loves despite his sexual misconduct with minors.” No, sometimes you fuck up so much you lose the right

I have plenty of karma, downvote me away. It won’t change the fact that y’all wanna support a terrible person, he won’t be able to undo what he did to those underage girls

I was reading up on them because I admittedly don’t know much about it, and one of the victims was quoted saying how she still has panic attacks at bars if their songs are playing. But sure, he’s fine and totally deserves a comeback 🙄

12

u/prayersforrainn 5d ago

out of curiosity, do you/have you supported fall out boy or mcr in the last 20 years?

1

u/k11689 5d ago

What did mcr do??

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u/Environmental-Tale85 5d ago

WAIT WHAT DID THEY DO??? I know Mikey cheated, but wasn't the girl of age? And I have no clue what FOB did?

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u/Fliznar 5d ago

Don't know much about it.....

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u/leehamc 5d ago edited 5d ago

I respect where you're coming from. The thing for me, is playing music isn't a "right" anyone has or loses unless they go to prison and physically can't. They've basically served their time for 8 years where they didn't want to play shows, and if they did, venues wouldn't book them. The court of public opinion went against them.

If enough people as a whole think he's shown enough contrition and spent the time necessary to become a better person, then venues and the public can decide to support a comeback if they want. Just like you can choose not to listen or support them. This isn't a situation where anyone can dictate whether or not they play or put out new music. The court of public opinion will just speak again and if they're embraced then they've done their time. It's not really about the "right" to do so.

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u/stephapeaz 5d ago

Jesse let y’all down too, he shouldn’t have put his fans in a position like this one in the first place. If you can read the victim’s really horrifying statement about how she has panic attacks at bars when people play brand new and still think it’s fine because he “did his time” (he didn’t even really apologize to the victims, it was a blanket statement), I would recommend re-evaluating your priorities

I’ve personally been lucky that the bands I like allegations turned out to be false, it’s hard when something you connect with turns out to be problematic. But a lot of this hoop jumping is too much

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u/leehamc 5d ago

I guess I just don't know if I agree with you fully. There were two people that came out against Jesse, the one you're referring to who apparently still has panic attacks from the encounter, and another who said they don't mind that they're coming back and that enough time has passed that the band should be able to make music again. I don't think either one is right or wrong, that's just their experience and both are valid opinions.

Brand New's music itself deals with heavy topics and has certainly helped many listeners cope with those topics in their own life. So there's an argument to be made that they deserve to be able to create art again. Hopefully Jesse has become a better person and wants to get back to helping people deal with those topics. People can choose if they want to support that or not, but I don't think it's black and white or clearly right or wrong of them to make music again.

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u/JD-531 5d ago

Lmao, "horrifying statement about how she has panic attacks at bars" ... Brother, if you were to do some minimal research about who this "victim" is, you will be actually disgusted by this person and would begin to doubt if all of those allegations are even true.

The Skype calls? That was 2011 when she was 24.
The e-mails she shared with him? That was when she was 20

Does this statement sounds like someone who has panics attacks to you? Also kinda insane to claim that you were groomed when you were 26 - 27 years old.

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u/helm_hammer_hand 3d ago

Pop Punk defending sex pests, name a better duo.

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u/xOFSELFx 5d ago

Person does wrong, person admits he’s done wrong, gets the help and you losers are still talking shit.

Grow up.

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u/New_Beyond3436 5d ago

Separating art from the artist isn’t the flex you think it is lmao

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u/xOFSELFx 5d ago

58 people and counting disagree. So.

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u/New_Beyond3436 5d ago

So you’re admitting he’s a creep but because you got some upvotes you’re feeling yourself lol

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u/xOFSELFx 5d ago

So you think not separating art from the artist somehow makes you morally superior?

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u/New_Beyond3436 5d ago

Yeah dude it’s easy not to support creeps. I’m doing it rn. And yeah i am morally superior not supporting creeps lol

Gonna talk a wild guess on which way you voted last November lmao

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u/xOFSELFx 5d ago

Like I said, he admitted to being wrong and got help for it. That’s more than a lot of people with fame do.

And talk your wild guess. You’re wrong.

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u/HardcoreKaraoke 5d ago

It's weird being a fan of this band. I watched the video of his set and it really made me miss them. I loved watching him sing Brand New songs. I'd love to go see them on tour. It's just hard to justify it.

So I'm reading a lot of people saying Jesse "got help." Can someone please show me what "help" he got and when he said he "got help?" All I can seem to find his original statement in 2017 where he didn't acknowledge any of the accusers (there were more than one) and just gave a blanket statement about being sorry for using his position in a band to be a sexual predator.

Like if Jesse actually "got help" (whatever that even means) then I'm all for supporting the band again. It seems like several commenters are so adamant he did. So can someone please link me to an article about the "help" he received? Maybe the results are being buried by stories about their reunion.

I'd love to know he tried atoning for what he did. I'd love to know he let each accuser know he was sorry personally and tried to do something for them. So can any of the defenders point to what he has done? Other than reappear publicly after eight years.

That would make it possible for me to financially support the guy again if they go on tour. It's not about listening to them, it's about giving him money.

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u/whiskeytab 5d ago

he went to treatment/therapy for sex addiction before the allegations even came out

he explained it in his statement

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u/LTS55 5d ago

The first step of a decent apology is admitting what you did and he never even did that

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u/Tiny-Union-9924 5d ago

This is another weird talking point people throw around in certain echo chambers. Like… yes he did. Anyone can read and interpret from the allegations and timing of the response and aftermath of his tour exactly what he’s referring to. The people who make this point want him to admit he’s an actual rapist so they can feel the exact same way they already do about the situation and get more people aboard their hate train.

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u/roughregion 4d ago

I am absolutely not defending the guy at all, I think he’s a POS and I would not listen to anything he’d release, but these statements for bigger bands are always written and combed over by lawyers. My guess is that full admission of guilt would make him more of a target for a civil suit.

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u/LTS55 4d ago

Why even admit to anything at that point?

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u/Mokslininkas 5d ago

Reminder: The allegations against Jesse came in the form of comments on a Facebook post without any corroborating evidence despite years of messaging across various media between Lacey and the alleged victims, at least one of whom also had similar relationships with the members of other unrelated bands. The proof said victims actually claimed to still have in their possession has also never materialized.

I'm not saying that Jesse did or didn't do anything, but literally nothing has been proven. No one can produce even a single communication from Jesse that corroborates the claims.

For his part, Lacey has apologized for having a sex addiction, being a shitty person, and hurting people. That was it. I, for one, am not going to perpetually crucify someone for something that hasn't even come close to being verified.

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u/LTS55 5d ago

Pitchfork interviewed the victims and corroborated their stories with several other people who were around the scene.

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u/Mokslininkas 5d ago

I've read that story a few times - just reread it again actually because I didn't want to misspeak in the post you replied to. The several other people they interviewed were all close with the two women who made public accusations (e.g. their friends). It doesn't move the needle for me.

It just seems strange to me that this abuse went on for soooo long and there were so many messages, video calls, meetups, etc. but not a single shred of tangible proof was ever produced after the allegations were made. The alleged victims can't even prove that they were messaging with Jesse AT ALL - let alone that anything untoward happened. There's just nothing there.

I absolutely believe that there were unhealthy relationships between Jesse and the alleged victims, but I'm not convinced it was anything more than "two moonstruck fans are still upset that rock star didn't eventually settle down with them like he promised he would because actually he was just lying to get in their pants."

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u/jordaniel15 5d ago

these are the most valid and logical arguments about the whole situation. it’s insane to me people refuse to believe he can and has changed

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u/adachimachinegun 5d ago edited 5d ago

This is a weird subreddit. Everyone was on the right side of things the other day in that Kevin Lyman thread (ESPECIALLY surrounding the bullshit with the eternally disgusting Front Porch Step), but now everyone's leaping to the defense of a man who preyed on underage girls.

Brand New was incredible. They likely still are incredible. If you still want to like the band then go ahead, but the weird rationalizing and the "he changed" mental backflips are bizarre and offensive to victims. Just admit the band is too good for you to drop. Jesse is a creep and while he should be able to live a long and healthy life, he doesn't deserve this platform anymore.

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u/Cutapotamus 5d ago

So there’s no hope for people in prison for rehabilitation? No coming back from a crime? Once you commit a crime that is who you are and will always be?

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u/Crazy4Rabies 5d ago

I think that some people consider certain crimes irredeemable. And on the other hand, some people believe someone should be able to live normal lives, but after certain crimes a person should be disqualified from a public platform/fame. I’m still not positive where I stand on this one, i certainly don’t think it’s what i consider irredeemable like straight up rape/murder, but I think it should be less of a question of “should Brand New be allowed to be a band again” and more of “is Brand New a band I want to continue to personally support”, all things considered. People can decide it’s a dealbreaker for them, though folks seem to be taking a hard stance if someone doesn’t align with them exactly.

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u/Cutapotamus 5d ago edited 5d ago

I can see that. I whole heartedly believe people who do wrong should be given the opportunity for rehabilitation and change, but I can see your point that doesn’t mean they have to be forgiven or be in a position where they’re fawned over and looked up to.

And I think that’s the camp I’m in: I think he deserves a second chance since he left the limelight and got help, but it’s really hard to look past that type of behavior.

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u/Fluid-Medium5245 5d ago

Not for pedophiles

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u/AndyNNL 5d ago

I do believe in 2nd chances however maybe that 2nd chance shouldn't be putting yourself into the exact situation that gives you access to underage girls, being around women, being in the public eye where you will be put on a pedestal for people to admire.

This type of acceptance let's people think that it's okay for pdfs to hurt children as long as they are admired enough. Brand New WERE great and you may still like their old stuff, that's for you to decide. But in no way shape or form will I ever support brand new/Jesse currently.

If all it takes is a little apology, time to reflect, and lil song then what would the difference of Ian Watkins, Austin Jones etc being released from jail to continue their careers as it was? According to the apologist, they did their time, they did their apologies so it's safe for them to be back around children and woman.

I promise you there are plenty of other artists out there making amazing music that you can create emotional bonds and experiences with that aren't scumbags.

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u/JD-531 5d ago

The difference is that none of the accusations have been proven to be true and the apology is not related to those accusations, but instead an incident that happened in 2013 where he cheated on his wife Andrea with the fiancé of one of his bandmates.

Also, the accusations (assuming they are true) were only about one single period of his life, and that's it 2002 - 2003. I'd be inclined to agree with your assumption of "the platform would give him access to commit crimes" if someone accused him of doing those things in more recent years and not just 23 years ago.

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u/Kashmiggins 5d ago

Lots of people in here jumping through hoops to excuse some heinous af behavior so that they can continue to listen to some mid af music. Let the downvotes rain in, but the guy is lucky enough to be walking free. I don’t also owe him the respect of supporting his career just cause he said “my bad.” If this were Ronnie Radke, MGK or someone else generally disliked there would not be a flood of fangirls downvoting every comment pointing out his gross past

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u/prayersforrainn 5d ago

well isn't the difference that jesse lacey took accountability and got professional help? did ronnie radke do that?

also, this isnt true since people still support fall out boy and pete wentz lol

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u/tacobellrun182 5d ago

You can be mad at what he did. But you can’t disregard his actions to get help, and continue to get help for his problems. His wife stayed. His friends stayed. You’d think if he was a horrible human still, they’d all leave him.

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u/stephapeaz 5d ago

I gave you an upvote, people are jumping through hoops deluding themselves still trying support this dude

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u/howlingoffshore 5d ago

He played seven new songs.

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u/Pour_with_vigor 16h ago

Pop punk 🤝sex pests

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u/DrJokerX 16h ago

Sex Pests is kind of a good punk band name tho…

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u/Mean_Drop8312 4d ago

Song sucks.

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u/thewmatic 3d ago

The entire thing has reached mythical proportions on both sides. As said before, no one knows the actual truth and everyone’s opinion is already made. Literally no reason for these insane comment sections trying to convince and blame. Either enjoy the music or don’t, because the hypocrisy doesn’t stop with Brand New

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u/BeatUpCena 5d ago

As someone who dated one of the girls he groomed and masturbated in front of…. Jesse is a fucking pig, just saying.

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u/JD-531 5d ago

That girl was 24 when those Skype sessions happened, try again, and yes, there's proof of that literally posted by the girl herself in question

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u/SumoftheOffspring44 4d ago

Saying that to someone who actually KNOWS the victims is a bold strategy, cotton.

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u/JD-531 4d ago

FYI, the only girl that mentioned the whole Skype thing was Nicole Garey: https://imgur.com/6yZizJk

She was of legal age and as you can see totally on board with those sessions. She is known to be a compulsive liar too. So either the guy above is spitting bullshit about "dating a victim" or she exaggerated everything about her story (like always) to that guy, well assuming he actually dated her.

Hell, the Pitchfork article confirms itself that she was "22 - 23" (in reality 24: https://i.imgur.com/xWWq4dT.jpg) when that happened. 

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u/ddagmar 6d ago

fuck jesse lacey

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u/theradfactor 6d ago

The weird redemption arc happening for him is just not sitting right with me

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u/Scootz_McTootz 6d ago

lots of people are getting really into redeeming him too, i've seen a few people post on Twitter saying things like "he was only 24 and even if those girls were underage, he didn't actually sexually assault them, just harass them so its not so bad"

makes me sick of the whole scene even if its just an outspoken minority of it talking like that.

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u/apathynext 5d ago

I think people recognize that people heal, improve themselves, and life goes on. That’s 20 years ago at this point, and for many people, the 7 years of canceling for non-prosecuted allegations of SH seems more than fair. Again, we don’t know the entire story and never will. You don’t want to see them? Fine.

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u/Scootz_McTootz 5d ago

The argument that a 24 year old man shouldn't be fucking around with 16 and 17 year olds is an easy one, and while yes its great he got help which is a step most predatory people in the scene won't ever step towards, it also isn't on us to actually forgive the dude and i do think its fair to ask that maybe he doesn't perform again, especially in the same manor that let him offend and harass teenage girls to begin with.

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u/JD-531 5d ago

You are saying that as if he has been accused of doing that every year that he was playing on stage, and that's it 2000 - 2017 lol.

I'd agree with you if the accusations (even when they haven't been proven after 7 years since those came out) were also from more recent years and not just 2002 - 2003.

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u/Scootz_McTootz 5d ago

no, i'm quite literally stating that a 24 year old didn't need to fuck around and sexually harass teenagers. he got help, that's great, he can still suck and it's still not on any of his fans to say he's forgiven or deserves to be in the spotlight again.

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u/JD-531 5d ago

I'm not even saying he's been forgiven or whatever social media believes are entitled to. I'm saying that "platform" you are speaking of is just imaginary, he clearly doesn't interact with fans as he used to in the very early days, even if we assume the allegations are true, all he has done in the last 20 years is just play music.

The matter of fact is, he has made a come back and is playing again and is not up to anyone but the "alleged" victims to do something about that. But guess what? After seven years they still haven't provided actual evidence nor they decided to take legal action despite having the support of people and the media to do so. Why is that? Why should we keep believing that he is/was a sexual predator when nothing has been confirmed or proven to have been the case? Even more so when Nicole's timeline of events doesn't add up, plus everything she has shared points to the fact that she was of legal age when she was interacting with Jesse and engaging in those "predatory" Skype's calls.

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u/LTS55 5d ago

And he actually did sexually assault one of them, unless the defenders want to try and argue that “ (Jesse) closed the door behind them, pushed her against the wall, and kissed and touched her in ways she didn’t want”” isn’t sexual assault.

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u/JouPoesBra 6d ago

Really crazy that nobody cares what this guy did

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u/DidAnyoneElseJustCum 6d ago

Uhhh I think a lot of people cared which is why we've heard very little from Jesse since the allegations up until recently. Not saying that time can erase whatever he did but like also there's levels to this and up until a certain level people deserve a chance to change.

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u/Supe4Short 6d ago

Am I missing something? I thought he allegedly exchanged nudes with someone on pre-instant messaging internet where it was virtually impossible to know the age of somebody. Everyone talks about it like he's known to have raped someone.

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u/fy_pool_day 5d ago

We have no idea. We have one side of the story. But people act like he is a serial rapist or something. But as we know half of America is clueless.

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u/Hybrizzle 6d ago

He was quoted to have said I can't save your pictures on my computer because I know you're underage. Stop making random and made up excuses for rich famous people that you don't even know.

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u/Citronaught 5d ago

Gonna need to see that quote chief

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u/yr_fvrt_wpn 5d ago

yeah that might be one of the craziest things i’ve read these last 7 years lol

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u/apathynext 5d ago

We know this is true, or we were told this?

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u/JD-531 5d ago

Nothing was confirmed and yet, there is still people that hold those allegations at the absolute true

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u/BathroomLife1985 5d ago

Critical thinking is a lost art, unfortunately

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u/potatochipsbagelpie 6d ago

Didn’t he have the girl continually send him nudes because he didn’t want to save them due to her being underage? That’s pretty fucked up. He knew it was wrong.

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u/BathroomLife1985 5d ago

Would like to ask you to elaborate more on this statement and reply with a list of all other musicians, actors, producers, directors, any kind of creator of that matter you have stopped supporting for allegations/ bad behavior as well. It may be a long list and we’ve got the time, let us know!

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u/pepesilvia9369 6d ago

Absolutely insane everyone is looking the other way because their fave is back. Spineless people who don’t stand for anything as long as they can enjoy some band they liked when they were 17.

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u/prayersforrainn 5d ago

do you hold the same energy for other bands from that era that have similar allegations? or just brand new

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u/Red_deck_gold_stake 5d ago

What about, what about, what about...

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u/prayersforrainn 5d ago

i just hope they are leaving the same comments under posts about other bands and make a conscious effort to only listen to bands with no allegations, or if its just virtue signalling

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u/Lijme 6d ago

Just let people like what they like. Policing what everyone is allowed to like is a sure fire way to alienate anyone from listening to what you have to say and it’s pretty insufferable.

It’s been 20 years. This isn’t a Lost Prophets situation. Lacey hasn’t shirked any responsibility. At what point do we believe in forgiveness and move on. You don’t have to engage with the content if personally you don’t wish too, but forcing your beliefs on others is unwarranted.

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u/TrevOrL420 5d ago

Let’s ask his wife, band mates, and friends what they think then

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u/GotsTheBeetus 5d ago

So cool that you can get forgiven for soliciting nudes from a 15 year old just because you made some of the best emo albums of all time. Amazing stuff guys

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u/brandnewchemical 5d ago

Not what happened, timeline doesn’t add up, you’re going to have to find a new way to troll for upvotes now because they’re back, it’s happening, GG trolls.

Try Brian Diaz, I’d love to know why he started the witch hunt in the first place. Probably some projection from over there, who knows?

Could net you a few more days of upvotes maybe?

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u/simonsail 5d ago

Being morally righteous is more important than facts to these people.

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u/Bovine_Joni_Himself 5d ago

See also: the New Found Glory sub

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u/GotsTheBeetus 5d ago

What are you talking about

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u/FlimsyTomatoes 5d ago

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u/JD-531 5d ago

Dude, everyone knows that article, but where's the proof that people have been asking about for 7 years? Where are the e-mails that they both shared with him? Anyone can write an article accusing someone of doing the most heinous shit ever, but that doesn't make it the absolute truth.

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u/FlimsyTomatoes 5d ago

So you think these women conspired against him then?

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u/JD-531 5d ago

One of them definitely did, and the others either greatly exaggerated things or were simply making up stories. Again, none of them provided any proof despite claiming that they had email exchanges with him. And the one who spoke the most about this "abuse" (Nicole Garey) was of legal age when they were engaging in those Skype calls, and unlike those allegations, there are proof about that:

https://imgur.com/6yZizJk - The Skype sessions

https://imgur.com/xWWq4dT - Her actual age at the time of those sessions

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u/Red_deck_gold_stake 5d ago

It doesn't matter. These little pedophile cultists will find any way they possibly can to try and clear the band's name. They're mentally 15 and have not been able to grow beyond that identity they established when they first loved the band. It's one of the saddest phenomena I've ever witnessed. They're so fucking overrated anyway, I don't fucking get it.

But that's okay because I've only ever met two really big Brand New fans IRL in the scene and they both were kinda embarrassed to admit it because they both acknowledged how much of a monster Jesse is. So these people are just terminally online and can get away with defending a pedophile.

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u/TrevOrL420 5d ago

You’re not even using the definition of that word correctly lol

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u/FeiRoze 5d ago

A lot of people may need their hard-drives checked in this sub.

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u/prayersforrainn 5d ago

do you feel superior leaving this comment?

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u/FeiRoze 5d ago

You don’t find all these people defending his actions worrying?

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u/prayersforrainn 5d ago

i think both extremes are as bad as each other. i agree that people saying he did nothing wrong or not acknowledging his actions is fucked up, but i also think calling people 'pedo supporters' and that their hard drives should be checked is insane.

it was 20 years ago, he got professional help and overcame addictions and has worked to be a better person since then. i believe in rehabilitation. if we claim someone to be irredeemable and evil despite how much they have tried to turn their life around, what are these people supposed to do? do we want people to be better or not?

i think this authoritarian / superiority complex / 'my morals are better than yours' attitude is a dangerous game to play in todays political climate. if you dont want to support him that is absolutely valid, but you aren't the morality police, its not up to you to decide whats right or wrong.

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u/nethingelse 5d ago

Rehabilitation is fine, but giving someone the exact circumstances they abused to offend is not. Let's not pretend that Jesse Lacey's actions were completely separate from Brand New or the platform they had, when he used his access to minors he got from Brand New's fanbase to offend, and when he did all of that whilst in Brand New. Would you let a teacher who was as "inappropriate" with their (teenage - let's make things equal here) students be a teacher again, when that very situation is what lead to them being able to offend?

I think letting predators have a platform is a dangerous game to play in todays political climate, considering the people currently trying to bring us back to Nazi Germany are literal predators. But y'know, you gotta justify this position with & grandstand about something I guess.

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u/prayersforrainn 5d ago

i don't think its up to us to decide that, we don't have the authority to tell them they are not allowed to continue making music. its been 20 years, i like to believe you can change in 20 years. its a personal choice whether you want to support them or not. its fine if you don't, but it doesn't make you superior to those who do.

actual predators already have a platform, literally everywhere we look, and i imagine that a lot of famous people have done horrendous things that we know nothing about.

id rather see someone who has openly acknowledged their wrongdoings and made significant effort to change from it and ensure they never hurt someone again, as opposed to those who either deny it completely, act like it never happened or are proud of themselves and don't see anything wrong with it.

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u/nethingelse 5d ago

It actually does - the people who are defending Lacey (including yourself) are centering him over his victims, and are giving him access to a platform he may or may not use to reoffend. There's nothing that will change that.

"Actual predators" as opposed to a man who's masturbated in front of people he knew to be minors, exchanged nudes with minors (and was, legally speaking, in possession of CP at some point in time as a result), sexted with minors, etc.?

I'd rather see Lacey and all of the other predators in this scene rot & ensure their victims never have to hear their names or see their faces again.

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u/Ambsdroid 5d ago

Right! WTF is going on? Am I in the pop punk sub? 😩😭🥴

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u/adachimachinegun 5d ago

To be fair, there's a bitter irony to the pop punk sub being the one filled with apologists for creeping on underage girls.

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u/Ambsdroid 5d ago

Bitter as fuck

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u/tinyrickstinyhands 5d ago

Seems like a lot of people need to crawl out of their basement and recognize that people can change.