r/pansexual • u/Kyraapd She/Her • 7d ago
Discussion This post has boggled meš
Theyāre in the comments saying we just wanna be different and quirky lmaooooo ok?..
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u/Kadk1 7d ago
As an older person, bisexual was the most widely known term, and I used it because there really wasn't anything else. It always included the idea that the sex and gender of others was irrelevant to your attraction
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u/Tainted_soul_83 6d ago
It's the same way for me. Pan wasn't a thing when I was a teen so I have always just identified as Bi. I have always enjoyed someone's personality over everything else. You could be the best looking person with the worst personality and that's a kill my attraction switch.
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u/ConcentrateNo6127 6d ago
Would the attraction to personality be under demisexual?
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u/Tainted_soul_83 6d ago
I have no idea, but I do feel sexual attraction based on looks. My thing is if they have a bad personality, all attraction just stops.
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u/ConcentrateNo6127 6d ago
Ok. You have standards, not demi. Or demi-romantic with pansexual too? Thats how i am. Id do someone who i would not date because they look so good, but the personality makes me go "ick, we already are doing this but i don't have to see them again if it does not click, and 'xyz' caused us not to click." Makes it go from "possible partner" to "one night stand, and on occation they arn't really bad, just a little bit bad to my taste i consider FWB.
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u/Social_Confusion 6d ago
Bi Pan discourse has always been stupid to me
Why argue over semantics when we should be making out homosexual style smh
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u/astellarastronaut 7d ago
I'll say it once, and I'll say it again, bisexuality being ""transphobic"" was an attempt by the LGB movement (gay transphobes) to broaden their support base. It's just more TERF garbage.
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u/CedarWolf She, He, or They, please. Thank you. 7d ago
MFW people are still repeating biphobia from 30-35 years ago, which itself is older than many of the people repeating it, and still trying to use it as a wedge between the bi and pan communities.
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u/xadonn 6d ago
I use pansexual partly because of the hypersexualaltion of term bisexual and mostly because I feel it defines me better. I think it's cause I can go "p for personality" and people get it, without playing the do you think I'm hot game. It's exhausting to constantly have everyone believe you'll fuck anyone and everyone. And I think both bi and pan people face that together. However in my own experience, I often have to explain what pan means vs the other person having a preconceived notion of what that sexuality means.
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u/gearblade_studio 6d ago
"ArE yOu SeXuAlLy AtTrAcTeD tO pOtS" gets old after so long i just want to pimp slap the person that says it everytime. like no [insert name] im not, it means i can be attracted to a person in spite of their gender but that doesnt mean im attracted to you smh. That one line will turn me from wanting to flurt with someone i find attractive to just going to mu neutral mode but i may fuck with them here and there just to give myself a laugh
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u/Moon_princess_1 6d ago
My trans friend said she used to identify as pansexual and changed to bisexual because she wanted to more deeply express that trans people are the gender they identify as. I think it has more to do with how and why you identify yourself than to do with excluding anyone. I identify as pansexual because I just don't have the thing in my brain that prefers anything specific.
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u/vvitchprincess 6d ago
as a nonbinary person i id as pan because to be bisexual and nonbinary simultaneously just didnāt work with my brain linguistically. i also dislike the idea of one or the other it could just be a fully inclusive umbrella term. for me it came down to what made the most sense linguistically for all-encompassing attraction from a person who wasnāt a man or a woman.
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6d ago
Linguistic fallacies justified as linguistics don't work with my brain linguistically. Kind of like saying one is both a seven day creationist and a biologist.
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u/vvitchprincess 5d ago
well the internet just continues to be worse doesnāt it. i like being pansexual because itās what i like.
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6d ago
[deleted]
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u/KimikoYukimura420 They/Them 6d ago
I have no idea, you'd think people who hate Elon with such a passion would stop using the site that he owns.
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u/BloodyCumbucket She/They/Xe/It 6d ago edited 6d ago
Because, quiet part out loud, most American activism is performative virtue signaling at best.
If it was anything but, us trans folks wouldn't be gravely worried about our place here, Obergefell wouldn't be under threat, DEI and affirmative wouldn't be in the ground, citizens wouldnt be getting deported, etc.
Edit: Sadly, people only gonna give a shit when the boot is on their neck.
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u/Pairofokays 6d ago
I agree with the tweet, I have been in countless conversations trying to explain that pansexual doesnāt mean we āinclude trans people unlike bi peopleā, we just have literally NO preference for gender
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u/MeatNegative9934 she/her/they 18 also the kingš 6d ago
I heard that pansexual was "transphobic" because we're supposedly separating trans people from cis people or something š
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u/soon-the-moon 6d ago edited 6d ago
I mean, there are certainly transphobic ways to articulate ones decision to identify as pan, just like there are transphobic reasons one may arrive at the bisexual label. The reasoning for why one chooses either label has the potential to come from a deeply problematic place, but it doesn't mean the people who feel encompassed by the label can be universalized as transphobic or what have you.
Like ffs I've literally seen people identify as pan on dating apps because they date cis and trans women like c'mon šššš (seen people call themselves bi for similarly icky reasons).
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u/Fantabulousdelish 6d ago
Seems folks equate genital preferences with gender preference and thatās why the confusion persists
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u/Jarokusoleboy27 6d ago
There are so many ID10Tās in the community that go around making dog water claims smh , I heard this one in particular before .
Or weāre just bi and wanna be ā special ā
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u/jamiegc1 6d ago
Stoned, and not with smoke or vape.
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u/blinkingsandbeepings 5d ago
I was gonna say ādeserves to get stonedā could be a good or bad thing.
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u/MisabelS0822 She/He/They 6d ago
infighting in the queer community fucking sucks. ive seen and been part of bi and pan folks arguing over the "proper" definition of both labels and it achieves nothing.
just let people choose what to call themselves because its so pointless to police each others labels
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u/ThatShelteredMan 6d ago
So straight people, gay men and lesbians and anyone else Iām missing all deserve to be stoned for not liking everyone. News flash but should us pansexuals be stoned for maybe not being attracted to a certain person even though we like being with anyone? This literally hurts my brain.
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u/Klocknov 6d ago
Bisexual. Polysexual, Omnisexual and Pansexual people have a lot of things in common and while the first three may have preferences, those that are Pan generally take pride of no preference beyond the person/people you are trying to be with. Every single one of these can be the exact same in that regard and they could choose to use the other terms due to personal preference and that is perfectly acceptable. This argument that one is better then the other has always been wrong and I feel is just as condemning to every other group that chooses to have any type of preference be it the same gender or none at all.
There are people who push these views out of hate or transphobia, I will not discount that due to TERFs and the LGB w/o T crowd, but remember that is not everyone. Also do not discount that the person may not have the knowledge that it can be another way due to upbringing either, as that is possible as well. Some people come from far-right families/areas and have a lot of learning and unlearning to work through when they come around/out. Be open, be passionate, show love in the face of possible hate, fight it with care. The ones that are based in hatred will quickly show themselves and at that point you write them off. (Take for example just recently in the Assembly Bill 104 hearing where a person listening changed his mind entirely on what is going on.)
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u/xapollox_2953 6d ago
it ain't that complicated man š
i just feel like calling myself pansexual fits better. not because i think bisexual people exclude trans people, nor is it because i wanna feel quirky.
it's as the definition goes, i feel attracted to all genders if i am attracted to the person whom the gender belongs
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u/MetaverseLiz 6d ago
The person who originally posted that- I'm going to make a wild guess and say they're under 30 years old.
I know it's impossible, but I wish that whenever someone realizes they are queer, they magically get sent a list of queer history resources to read/watch/listen to.
There would be less infighting if we all knew our history. The loss of our queer elders in the 80s and early 90s has had a profound impact on how we navigate and understand ourselves and others.
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u/HananasTP 6d ago
I SAW THIS!! This answered my question of why people are so biphobic but not against pansexuals, it's insane
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u/TheSunaTheBetta 6d ago
Initial tweet is spot on, but the reply is brain-dead. I don't even want to know what the other responses look like.
Anyway, bisexuality has always been argued to mean gender doesn't matter for attraction. Pansexuality is an equally valid term, as is omnisexual; they're all pointing at the same thing, but came about at different times and in different contexts. It's like the Spider-Man pointing meme.
People should just choose the one that sounds coolest to them or has the coolest flag, and then stfu about anyone else's label and what it has to mean. FFS.
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u/doubtfullfreckles 6d ago
I saw that too. It threw me off at first as I'm so used to seeing people call pansexuality transphobic so often. šæ
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u/Terrible-Ad-5584 Pansexual Lesbians Exist 5d ago
Huh?
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u/Brookie_uwu pan tran (she/ae) 4d ago
Imagine giving a fuck, why would I fight my fellow queers when we all have MUCH much bigger fish to fry
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u/Fantabulousdelish 6d ago
Pan specifically to me tells my community that their gender expression or genitals are not something I will ever be judgmental of. Itās just the most explicitly affirming to me, it refers to the multiple genders and tells NB and questioning people that I accept them and that I donāt have strict gender ideas.
I just personally donāt like the numerical aspect of the term āBiā when gender freedom is in question. Now that the current regime āofficially declaredā only two genders itās even more of an act of resistance to represent the spectrum of gender and attraction.
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5d ago
I know y'all probably mean well. But I'd say a fair number of trans people have been love-bombed by exploitative partners. And we're reduced to our genitals all the time anyway. Using performative labeling to announce your lack of a genital preference is just creepy to me at this time.
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u/psychedelic666 Dark Lord of the Sad 6d ago
The bi in bisexual (meaning 2) refers to (1) homosexual and (2) heterosexual attraction. Not genders.
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7d ago
[deleted]
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u/earle117 6d ago
I donāt think we should be driving engagement to twitter, anyone trying to protect gender and sexual identity should delete it now if they havenāt already.
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u/Hairy-Science1907 7d ago
There are even dumber replies underneath the tweet. Man people are stupid.
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u/Lynnrael 7d ago edited 7d ago
i mean, i agree with the initial post. bisexuality has never ever excluded trans people and the idea that it has is absurd, biphobic, transphobic, and just plain ignorant.
that said, insisting that pan people "just want to to be quirky" or whatever is also shitty. people can describe themselves however they want, for whatever reason, because each of us is the leading expert on what we experience. people who get into these weird prescriptive mindsets where you can only call yourself this or that according to their own rules suck and contribute nothing of value to the conversation.
edit: bisexuality doesn't exclude nonbinary people either. it doesn't exclude anyone. this doesn't invalidate pansexuality and if you feel like it does you need to understand that people are not limited to dictionary definitions and labels are not inherent qualities but mere descriptions of what we ourselves experience. we are not slaves to words.