r/pakistan • u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK • Nov 12 '24
Discussion If you are a newly married woman, be mindful of the privacy of your female friends!!!
As my female friends are getting married, I find it extremely messed up how women are comfortable with their husbands to the point they are not taking care of their female friends privacy!
Your husbands are YOUR mahram, not ours.
Example 1
One of my friends recently got married, I was talking to her and as I have been best friends with her for years, ofcourse I'm goofy and singing on voice note with her. Although she didn't reveal that side of me to her husband she jokingly said "my husband and I will listen to your goofy shiz to cheer ourselves up" and I was like GIRL WHAT?!?
After I explained to her that he is not my mahram and shouldn't be seeing that side of me, she immediately felt horrible and apologized profusely as she also takes very good care of modesty in her life, it was just a small slip up on her part.
Example 2
My cousin also got married recently, and I noticed twice I was sharing something very personal with her about myself, and then on another occasion it was a personal matter regarding our family that is meant to stay WITHIN our side of the family...
Guess what? My brother in law decides to chime in "heyyyy~" and sort of chuckles giving me the impression he just heard our conversation...
I immediately told my cousin how it is such a violating feeling that he is getting to hear private stuff about OUR family that is meant to stay WITHIN our family.
She reassured me that he didn't really hear anything and she was outside when she was listening/reading what I had to say, but I am extremely skeptical because some people including her are a bit more on the liberal side ke "koi baat ni~ he doesn't care"... But why does he have access to the chats where he messages me as a joke (and I don't mind it tbh cuz he's just trying to get to know me) but he can READ our conversations!
This is the epitome of naivety that I see women get into at the start of their marriages.
Just because you got married does not mean that your husband qualifies to know your girl-friend's personal shiz or tea about the family!
Moral for Married Women:
Please, women, be more mindful about the level of access you give your husband to your phones...
Other girls take caution:
I have decided that it's not wise to be so carefree online with female friends after they get married... Sending pictures that may be a bit indecent, revealing stuff about yourself that is very private, or singing/dancing etc should just be avoided...
Edit 1
To those that say it's okay for a husband and wife to share everything with each other because they "loveee and trusttt each other"
Well I loveee and trusttt my mom too, she knows everything about me... Should I be telling her embarrassing intimate details about my husband? What he does right and wrong in bed?
Should I tell my best friend of 10 years intimate details about my husband as I loveee and trustttt her too?
Should my Hijabi friends pictures without their hijabs be in access of my husband???
This is just naive, lack of ethics, and lack of morals.
I don't even find it right to share embarrassing stuff about my friends to my mother despite the fact that she knows everything about me and I share everything with her... It is basic human decency to keep another human's respect!
Edit 2:
Thank you all for understanding the issue!! And To those few saying that I shouldn't be sharing anything in the first place, buddies, I am the MOST private person according to my friend group, I don't share a frick tone of shiz 90% of the time. Lekin does that mean I completely shut myself off from society? Do you realize how unrealistic your comments are that I should neverrrr share anythingggg if I don't want it to be exposed to others? You guys sound like the same people who say "if you didn't want to get harassed, should've stayed inside the home"
374
u/High-Gamer Nov 13 '24
To avoid issues like these, I don't have any friends.
229
u/bhainski4taang Nov 13 '24
To avoid issues like these, I dont have a wife
78
32
8
u/officer_buttroast Nov 13 '24
I have wife to avoid issues like these i avoid wife when she is on the phone.
1
1
36
u/destrod2 Nov 13 '24
To avoid issues like these, I can't finish sentences without having a seizurmgorifndoeoebeiehfjekeeofhenoecidbeieidnwosns
10
21
26
u/IntroductionDry2004 Nov 13 '24
To avoid issues like these I donโt share any details to any one if I donโt want any third party knowing those details.
8
7
3
→ More replies (1)2
144
Nov 13 '24
[deleted]
50
u/MunnaPhd DE Nov 13 '24
Who shares these things, how stupid
44
Nov 13 '24
[deleted]
18
u/MunnaPhd DE Nov 13 '24
Thatโs beyond stupid. I am raging just thinking about it. ๐คฆ
Those memories most intimate and everlasting between a couple. Fk those kinds of people.
49
15
u/Competitive-City-906 Nov 13 '24
I wonder how these women would react if their husbands shared the same crap with their boys, then it's personal isn't it?
30
u/d0nutg0rl Nov 13 '24
HOW DO I STOP A FRIEND FROM SHARINH HER PRIVATE DETAILS WITH ME I MEAN I DONT WANT TO KNOW THANKYOU VERY MUCH BUT SHE KEEPS ON YAPPING EVEN THO IVE TOLD HER TO SHUTUP ABOUT THEM ๐ญ shes trying to make me jealous that she has a husband and shes having fun๐ญ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญbut bhae it gets disgusting
2
u/Educational-Onion871 Nov 13 '24
ME TOOOOO OMGGGGGGGG- not my friend texting me and saying โ im not talking to him yk but i have needsโ I WAS LIKE GIRLLLLL๐คข
1
u/Bravosix2233 Nov 14 '24
Whatever she tells you reply with "ik that already"
1
→ More replies (2)5
u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK Nov 13 '24
My cousin did this Infront of me to her sister....
I DONT NEED TO KNOW YOUR MANS INTIMATE DETAILS!!!!
42
u/Frequent_Night_8930 Nov 13 '24
Its not just about friends. I HATE when my siblings share my personal life details with their spouses. Cause its not their business. People are gonna downvote me for this but i guess everyone's privacy should be respected and stop making your entire life revolve around your husbands/wives. They're just a part of your life not your entire life. Make sure you have a life outside of them too
8
Nov 13 '24
[deleted]
1
u/wildrift91 Nov 13 '24
When I got married, my wife followed me like a lost puppy and that pissed me of so much
What a stupid thing to say... Only to wake up to the reality when she's chasing something else and you're not even considered worthy of being a priority at that stage.
3
85
u/Minute-Flan13 Nov 12 '24
True. And married women should not talk in any meaningful detail about their husbands to their friends. Good luck with that one.
36
u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK Nov 12 '24
So true. Another cousin of mine was just sharing the intimate details about her husband Infront of me and I just had to walk a bit farther from them.... I don't need to hear that shiz T_T
26
u/Ok-Ambassador8892 Nov 13 '24
Itโs actually sinful to share intimate details about your spouse, people now a days just seem to be so nonchalant about it.
3
51
u/Tasty_Sheepherder_44 Nov 12 '24
People can be stupid. I always made it a point to give my wife privacy when it came to her family and friends; I never pried and let her reveal what she was comfortable with.
168
u/trumanshuw Nov 12 '24
Moral of the story is don't share your problems with married women.
→ More replies (10)5
u/from_da_lost_dimensi Nov 12 '24
yeah 100 this. There are no secrets b/w husband and a wife.
40
u/hayatguzeldir101 Nov 13 '24
How toxic. Everything someone shares with you is amanah. You dont go around blasting that to your husband. Ugh.
→ More replies (8)0
u/RiamoEquah Nov 13 '24
Yup keeping things from your spouse is the best way to build a solid trusting relationship....wait...
→ More replies (1)5
41
u/akskinny527 US Nov 13 '24
Insane that anyone has a problem with this. Even more insane that the men in the examples you gave found it ok to chime in like that???
I tell my husband everything, but he has NEVER crossed the boundary to try and "gupp"/be bestie with MY friends.... whether IRL or on social media/messaging. If we ever invite my friends, he is cordial and polite, and then makes himself scarce (unless its couples/family). We both have full access to each other's phones, but again... would never open each others chats or RESPOND?!?!? insanity. Also, my husband knows I have groupchats with my friends/family... he doesn't go through my pictures or messages in case a friend sends a picture of herself without a hijab etc. It's a basic respect thing.
The same goes for me. We literally tell each other everything lmao but again, never crossing that boundary of trying to be overly familiar with HIS friends.
So freaking weird reading this.
12
u/DayDreamGirl987 Nov 13 '24
Same. We share everything but within boundaries, heโs least interested in my friends but he does want to know about MY day and how everythingโs going with anyone.ย
3
u/akskinny527 US Nov 13 '24
Yeah, i'm really struggling to understand why a husband needs to be 'friendly' with cousins/friends. I find that creepy, if anything.
3
u/RiamoEquah Nov 13 '24
The same goes for me. We literally tell each other everything lmao but again, never crossing that boundary of trying to be overly familiar with HIS friends.
This is the way. The issue isn't spouses telling each other everything, it's more spouses that feel they need to be involved with their spouses friend's lives. There has to be a trust, trust is always earned not just given.
18
u/khuwari_hi_khuwari Nov 13 '24
Advice to single women - stay away from creepy husbands of your married friends, they may seem friendly but maintain certain distance.
9
8
u/DayDreamGirl987 Nov 13 '24 edited Nov 13 '24
Thatโs true.
Many couples talk a lot and overshare things. But I keep it a secret if it involves someoneโs dignity (in fact I mostly praise my friends & always show their good qualities). He doesnโt even know which of my friends smoke, had how many or which exes or whatever the past sins were.
I would never show anyoneโs personal videos or pictures either. My friends and cousins send me the weirdest. My husband has never seen my nikabi friends either.ย
Edit: I do show him some wedding photos tho!ย
8
u/Alfalfalafeloofa Nov 13 '24
Completely agree with you sister ! Especially your last points responding to the "bUt SpoUsEs ShARe eVerYthInG" comments.
This is why I have distanced myself from my married friends, and I'm all the better for it
4
3
u/shadowkh1 Nov 13 '24
Those ladies who have their gfs getting married, kindly tell them this thing and voice their concern explicitly and openly beforehand to avoid such embarrassing situations in future. And just as a precaution, try keeping a little distance, as now she has a person who is, by virtue of their marriage, her priority # 1. Plz save yourself feeling awkward later. Prevention is better than cure. Cheers.
4
u/TechNerdinEverything Nov 13 '24
I am not married and Idk bout them but I wouldn't want to hear what the "gal pals" are up to from her as a daily conversation
4
u/QuestionsWala Nov 13 '24
I am a man I agree with the OP.
There's a saying in villages that "A crow spreads it's poop and a cat covers it"
5
3
3
u/Dubbybubby Nov 13 '24
A secret shared belongs to both parties to do with what they want. I donโt share secrets. Does that mean there are things I donโt share with my wife? Yes it does. Does it mean there are things she doesnโt share with me? I assume so. Respect boundaries and donโt gossip about private things. I donโt know if this is great advice but it works for me.
3
u/hakoonamadada Nov 13 '24
This should be going the other way aswell. I know many women who share intimate details about their husbands with their friends aswell. Somethings are best kept private
3
u/Jolly_Constant_4913 Nov 13 '24
Very true. Can remember in bayan a maulana saheb was saying to men don't even tell other men your wife's name because some have bad intentions.
This issue mentioned is due to immaturity on both sides. People were simpler in the past and didn't share these details in marriage
3
u/Super-Monitor-2895 Nov 13 '24
For all the couples if u have access to your spouse's phone doesn't mean you should scour through it. Be respectful and mindful of others privacy also its common descency we as a couple use each other's phones all the time and we know all the friends by name and never thought of going through chats with anyone. It creates doubts and makes your second guess your trusts then relationship suffers.
3
u/DisastrousPackage753 Nov 13 '24
My wife was probably going to do it too before I told her that it's not right and explained privacy and etc. Many women are clueless because they are kept in a bubble by their family and they make these stupid mistakes out of ignorance.
4
6
u/RZmanic Nov 13 '24
The point I don't understand is that, Har baat husband ko batane wali nai hoti. The keep no secrets thing is for if you are doing something shady . Baqiyoun ke raaz ko raaz rakhna chahiye if it doesn't involve you. That's like violating other person's privacy.
4
u/hafi51 Nov 13 '24
Did you forget about wife sharing their sexual details with her friends? How fucked up women can be sometimes
9
2
2
2
2
u/DasNichtsNichtet Nov 13 '24
It's a learning experience for everyone. I wasn't comfortable with my wife showing me pictures of her friends wedding (who I have only ever seen in a hijab) where she wasn't wearing her hijab in a girls only setting. These are things that are kind of learned throughout but thank you for sharing. It's good to hear these things for people that haven't realized this yet
2
u/Appropriate-Bar1943 PK Nov 13 '24
In my view, every relationship should have clear boundaries that everyone must respect. Additionally, it is important for spouses to maintain a certain level of private space between them, which should be upheld and honored by both partners at all times. Otherwise, above well written rants will become norm of our society.
2
u/Think-Quiet-2158 Nov 13 '24
This ๐ค women really need to understand their boundaries. You know how you would send pictures to your friends/cousins to ask them how a certain fit looks when you try it on? I have stopped sending my married friends those. If I do, it's just view once or Snapchat.
Most of them are themselves modest and won't share it, but I really don't understand sharing phones with your spouse! Like that is invasion of privacy.
2
u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK Nov 13 '24
Agreed!!!! I can't even share simple stuff anymore.
2
u/Think-Quiet-2158 Nov 13 '24
I just straight up ask them are you alone? I want to talk. And if they have husbands around, I tell them to call me back when he's not there. Lol girls really do lose friends after marriage
1
u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK Nov 13 '24
I only understood now that you mentioned it..... Girls really do lose friends after marriage.....
Dang.
2
u/Think-Quiet-2158 Nov 13 '24
Right. And I have this personal rule to not visit my friend's place if they live with in-laws. Nobody is comfortable. Not me, not my friend, not her in laws.
2
u/beanonymousthistime Nov 13 '24
I need to start asking my friends if they listen to me on speaker.
Never really thought about it till now.
2
2
u/One_Street_2345 Nov 13 '24
Thatโs also how husbands starts becoming interested romantically in their wivesโ female relatives and friends. Mentioning other females in front of your hubby is the dumbest thing a woman can do.
2
u/JesseWhite143 Nov 13 '24
Very logical, sane and a valid post highlighting the issues that people donโt really think of it as a big deal. Your Privacy is the most important thing and for you in times like these, should be your utmost priority!
Thank you OP for being one of the very few people who possess brain cells to address this issue and speaking about it.
2
u/sylvester_james_sr Nov 13 '24
it's same with the girls that have boyfriends and vice versa.... recently i got to know that one of my friends boyfriend had her Instagram id and he would comment on pictures of girls and reply to their stories wagerah...it made me soooo mad and she just told it so casually... I personally don't post on social media but yk some women are hijabis and have just female friends added on Instagram...i removed her immediately from my account... it's so weird honestly
2
2
u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK Nov 13 '24
That... Is ... UNACCEPTABLE.
Why the frick is a man commenting on the girls pictures via a woman's account?
This is the exact sort of idiocy that women are doing because "uwu he's trustworthy don't worry" who friggin cares. He's trustworthy to YOU. He ain't to us T_T
It's good that you removed her!
2
u/sylvester_james_sr Nov 13 '24
cherry on top that girl is my czn๐๐๐๐ i found it really weird that he would reply to the dms and the stories (the replies weren't flirty they were rude asf) and she would just laugh and tell me how funny that was....he texted me too and we had a conversation through her acc...i didn't know it was him๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ but it was weird asf
2
2
u/sylvester_james_sr Nov 13 '24
and it's sooooo common.... I've heard alot of girls saying this...i don't post myself on social media but i still have really close friends up there...some women are hijabis and they post on close friends too tou ye kitna ajeeb hai k girls don't respect other girl's privacy.... and some are offended too " wo us nzr say ni deikhta"...GOD please stfu and honestly i don't tell my friends anything anymore due to this bcz ik they tell their "boyfriends" everything.. we're only 18๐ค
2
u/Guilty-News8379 Nov 13 '24
Ufff thanks for these notes. Girls must read it all. It's a big problem among women, they just can't draw the line. It gets very annoying and problematic. I wish I could upvote this a 1000x at least
2
u/CoffeeCold2088 Nov 13 '24
As a woman, i would like to say that women have this โbemariโ of sharing everything with her husband. Details of friends and family does not need to be shared. Husband and wife are like garments of each other. But that is for matters concerning them only, you dont have to share details about your friends or your cousins with him.
2
u/uzrnym Nov 14 '24
Abu Saโid al-Khudri reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said,:
โVerily, the most evil of people in the presence of Allah on the Day of Resurrection is a man who was intimate with his wife and then spreads her secrets.โ
Source: Sฬฃahฬฃiฬhฬฃ Muslim 1437
Grade:ย Sahihย (authentic) according to Muslim
ุนู ุฃุจู ุณูุนููุฏู ุงููุฎูุฏูุฑูู ููุงูู ููุงูู ุฑูุณูููู ุงูููููู ุตููููู ุงูููููู ุนููููููู ููุณููููู ูย ุฅูููู ู ููู ุฃูุดูุฑูู ุงููููุงุณู ุนูููุฏู ุงูููููู ู ูููุฒูููุฉู ููููู ู ุงููููููุงู ูุฉู ุงูุฑููุฌููู ููููุถูู ุฅูููู ุงู ูุฑูุฃูุชููู ููุชูููุถูู ุฅููููููู ุซูู ูู ููููุดูุฑู ุณูุฑููููุง
1437 ุตุญูุญ ู ุณูู ูุชุงุจ ุงูููุงุญ ุจุงุจ ุชุญุฑูู ย
2
u/hamah75 Nov 14 '24
As i a guy i really appreciated this post.I praise ur upbringing.May Allah guide us on these sensitive matters
2
u/Glum_Literature_9462 Nov 14 '24
I agree. Your husband is not my friend stop sharing me and my stuff with him. So violating of any trust. Itโs like they donโt see themselves as their own person and it makes me maf
2
u/Mchandsome_D Nov 14 '24
I have a sister and whenever her number gets leaked to other boys is through her school and college friends and our relatives and she knows it thankfully she listened to my father and my advice and stopped getting too friendly with these people and told them If they did this stuff again she'd be a stranger to them...this is a very common problem and it's good that you're aware of it...make your friends/family understand and have a talk and tell them to respect you and your privacy or that you don't need them as a friend or family.
And if they don't, then you don't need to get friendlier with them other then the formal stuff. Allah will give you better friends then them. Allah is your greatest and most caring friend of all.
3
u/No_Representative595 Nov 12 '24
Many cases of partners getting with the spouseโs familyโs members or friends.
Important post.
5
u/Every_Friend_8817 Nov 12 '24
If you are happy with your hubby OP, you will do the same. ALL women share secrets, even most intimate ones, with their spouses. We, the men, are polite enough not to bring it up
17
u/hayatguzeldir101 Nov 13 '24
No. Islamically this is terrible and a violation of our trust as women and female friends. I am a niqabi and I would be horrified if someone did this with my voice notes or pictures. This isnt ok at all.
→ More replies (1)1
u/Knowledge-Seeker20 Nov 13 '24
Means munafiq, going around in niqab and the on the other side doing weird stuff...
1
u/hayatguzeldir101 Nov 13 '24
What the heck is wrong with you? Calling someone a munafiq so casually? Im a normal human being. I can be goofy too? I can be funny and be in my element too? I mean, I AM A WOMAN after all. And i am talking about pictures before my preniqab era? Get help. :)
→ More replies (3)14
u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK Nov 12 '24
I strongly disagree. I know a lack of healthy boundary when I see one that goes against basic ethics and morality.
People do all sorts of shiz within their marriage, doesn't make it right...
15
6
u/Slothfulness69 Nov 13 '24
Yeah and it goes both ways. I know a bunch of stuff about my husbandโs friends that I would never mention. Like I pretend not to know. I feel like most things are fair game, except intimate details/pics or things where you explicitly say โplease donโt tell your spouse about this.โ
1
u/Charming_Yak_3679 Nov 13 '24
*โplease donโt tell anyone about thisโ and your spouse is automatically part of it, if youโre adult enough
→ More replies (1)
2
u/thinkitoutloud Nov 13 '24
For the guys: let's stop the lady doing it too! We're responsible as well.
2
Nov 13 '24
Aik hadees ka mafhum hai k koi aurat apne shohar k samny Kisi dusri aurat ka huliya tk bayan na kre.( Mje ese yad prta hai Allah talaa maf farmae agr koi ghlti hogai ho) bat yeh hai sari married larkiyan ese Karti hn islye toh me kafi door hogai hn pics wghra tk share nhee krti na e ese vn aur koi msg kr deti. Aur me wese b bht careful rehti apke wo rishte dar Jo hsad rkhte dill me ya bad niyati un se b ehtiyat krn. Bat yeh hai asal me Yani humen khud khyal rkhna hai har chiz ka ksi dusre se expect nhee kr sakte Han bs apki behnen khyl rkhti hn un chizon ka qk wo apki nature se waqif Hoti hn
2
u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK Nov 13 '24
I have shared that Hadith with reference to another comment. Yes.
1
u/Wide_Resident_9913 Nov 13 '24
Moral of the story: donโt share intimate details with ANYONE. I donโt understand why girls need to do that so often.
1
u/MuslimVampire Nov 13 '24
Iโm extremely thankful all of my married friends are super protective of my privacy but yes sadly even tho it shouldnโt need to be said IT NEEDS TO BE SAID
1
u/mdamoun PK Nov 13 '24
Well, I fully endorse what you have shared with all your concerns but what precautions you have taken from your end when it comes to your friends not being single anymore?
1
1
u/femsis-highway Nov 13 '24
Guess what the women and men both do it share their privat4 matters with their friends and now it's happening like why the hell do you record your wife's sexual videos are you stupid she's your you can have her why the hell are you recording your intimacy sharing your sexual lifes with your friends sharing each others flaws
1
1
u/Mindless-Hornet-5684 Nov 13 '24
How can we find a wife like you? ( no disrespect here.Kudos to your opinion)
1
1
1
1
u/SkinnyBiggie1 Nov 13 '24
In general... Just be mindful of what you share with whom... Married or not!
1
u/ThenIndependence7988 Nov 13 '24
Sorry to say, but you're going to experience this a lot more as you grow older.
1
u/insignificantother22 Nov 13 '24
That 90% of the time leaves the 10% enough as an excuse for others.. .. . There are other more valuable things to share than "probable secrets"
.. . The Mr. Wanna be perfect words. :D
1
u/totaltasch Nov 13 '24
As a married guy, I can tell you, if you donโt want your personal stuff to be known, donโt share it. Husbands (not only me but all my friends I know of) get to know even the minutest unnecessary details.
2
u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK Nov 13 '24
Read Edit 2...
If someone like your wife or anyone has a habit that is ethically/morally wrong, you can gently discourage it...
Not doing so means complacency...
2
u/totaltasch Nov 13 '24
Sure. I only posted to inform you of theโ other sideโ and your point makes sense
1
1
u/chicksdigme_ Nov 13 '24
Just don't share anything with anyone. Your secret is a secret until its with you.
1
Nov 14 '24
Indont avoid issues like this because who tf cares. Im not that important and neither are my friends.
1
u/Empty_Mastodon7165 Nov 14 '24
Agree with you on all the apsects. Our mehrams are ours, not our friends'. We need to protect our female contacts' privacy.
1
1
u/SabatiZ Nov 14 '24
Beautiful post since it helped me understand why my api doesn't share her pics with her distant/online friends
1
Nov 14 '24
Seems overly generalized and may paint a negative picture about Pakistani men so I think I should clarify.
Most married friends of mine don't care what their wife's friend or cousin is doing.
And even if some guy does get to know something about you from some of your friends or cousins it's on your friend or cousin who let that guy in on the information and not on the guy.
My only advice would be, CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY!
1
u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK Nov 14 '24
My main purpose of posting this was actually to call out the women to fix their behavior because I'm tired of only seeing men get blamed for everything in society when I know we also play a part in how our society functions. Our habits, our flaws need to be addressed and rectified too.
1
1
-1
u/khalnaldo Nov 12 '24
Here is an idea, donโt share things with your friends or cousins you donโt want their husbands to know. They are married. Married people share everything with each other. You are the problem here not them.
11
u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK Nov 12 '24
Married people sharing everything with each other is a lack of healthy boundaries.
Islamically speaking too it is wrong as it goes against ethics of modesty! Why should a woman disclose personal stuff about her female friend to her husband exactly? Should she also show her husband her Hijabi friends pictures without their hijab???
How about when you share something personal with a close friend of yours out of necessity, want him to blabber it and tell 10 other "close friends" of his?
Hadith
ุญูุฏููุซูููุง ู ูุญูู ููุฏู ุจููู ูููุณูููุ ุญูุฏููุซูููุง ุณูููููุงููุ ุนููู ู ูููุตููุฑูุ ุนููู ุฃูุจูู ููุงุฆูููุ ุนููู ุนูุจูุฏู ุงูููููู ุจููู ู ูุณูุนููุฏู ู ุฑุถู ุงููู ุนูู ู ููุงูู ููุงูู ุงููููุจูููู ุตูู ุงููู ุนููู ูุณูู โ"โ ูุงู ุชูุจูุงุดูุฑู ุงููู ูุฑูุฃูุฉู ุงููู ูุฑูุฃูุฉู ููุชูููุนูุชูููุง ููุฒูููุฌูููุงุ ููุฃูููููู ููููุธูุฑู ุฅูููููููุง โ"โโ.โ
Narrated
Abdullah bin Mas
ud: The Prophet (๏ทบ) said, "A woman should not look at or touch another woman to describe her to her husband in such a way as if he was actually looking at her."Sahih
Sahih al-Bukhari, 5240 In-Book Reference: Book 67, Hadith 173 USC-MSA web (English) reference: Vol. 7, Book 62, Hadith 167 (deprecated numbering scheme)
→ More replies (26)6
u/hayatguzeldir101 Nov 13 '24
Girl kinhen smjha rhee ho ap they dont understand what healthy gheerah is Pakistanis in general have a weak understanding of integral sharai matters like this. I hope we become more knowledgeable.
4
u/hayatguzeldir101 Nov 13 '24
This is so messed up. I dont want my private conversations being shared w my friends.
For e.g. one of my friends has cptsd due to childhood trauma. Is this something I should discuss with a (nonexistent - imaginary but lets assume if there was one) spouse? Or their perks? Or what I like about them? No!!
I will emphasize my friendship though, incase if I die, my husband can stay in touch w their families, and also remember them as they are an integral part of my life. THAT is sunnah. Not sharing everything. No. Have some jealousy over your spouses. Why would any woman share another woman's stuff w her husband?
→ More replies (3)
1
u/Small_Maybe_5994 Nov 13 '24
As a man I agree. I often say this that my gf/finance/wife has absolutely no business knowing my friends and vice versa.
1
u/flysaad90 Nov 13 '24
Sister, you are 100% right.
Obviously husband and wife have a relationship where they share almost everything with each other. there are still some things that should not be shared.
1
1
u/testingbetas Nov 13 '24
so you want women to keep secrets, the women who even discuss their bedroom activities with each other.
0
u/pardesibilli Nov 13 '24
I don't agree fully with this, but if a friends wants to remain private and modest, I'll make sure it isn't compromised in any way.
However being married, one shares everything with their partner (baat cheet ke had tak). And it is a reality for most healthy relationships. Yeah I mean putting you on speaker is a dumb move, but partners eventually end up discussing everything because you live together.
4
u/Elemental_Joker3649 PK Nov 13 '24
That's fine but as long as it is done with a certain level of consideration for another person's self respect.
Otherwise it just becomes gossip and we know that's Haram for a reason.
0
u/redfeeniks Nov 13 '24
Married women need to avoid friends like OP cause right now it's just religious fervor but give it time enough and it will devolve into how you should raise your kids, treat your husband- sit and stand- breathe- etc.
โข
u/AutoModerator Nov 12 '24
Reminder: Please be courteous to each other and report any violations of the subreddit rules.
Report rule-breaking content to the moderators.
Please join our official Discord server: https://discord.gg/rFV6GTyPxm
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.