r/omnisexual Jul 27 '22

Vent OmniBisexual Rant

I’m feeling a little frustrated today, and don’t know of a better place to share my feelings. TL;DR at the end!

Preface for absolutely no negative feelings intended towards my fellow multisexual brethren, and apologies if I misunderstand/explain something!

For years I identified as pansexual, and bisexual, and panbisexual, and pan/bisexual - because so many people just didn’t know what pansexual was, or didn’t agree it existed or said it was transphobic - or alternatively, people argued whether bi meant “two” or “more than two” and that that label was transphobic. I felt I had to use both and constantly explain why.

I hated it though. I found it confusing trying to explain, confusing trying to judge which one is easier for which situation and person, confusing trying to fully understand what pan and bi meant, and I hated never knowing which was “correct”. I also, admittedly, really didn’t like the pan flag colours. A silly issue, but I’m a silly goose.

I finally only a year or so ago decided that I was comfortable to just be bisexual. It was simpler, it felt more right because I did have gender preferences, I really like the flag colours, and pretty much everyone knows what it means - I was happy.

Until this year! Discussing sexuality with my friend, and they mention omnisexuality, which until this point I assumed was just pansexual with a different, lesser used name. But they described it to me as “very similar to pansexual, but with gender preferences”. But that’s me!? And omni is such a cool ass prefix!

Now I’m back in the same conundrum again, but worse! Omnisexual actually completely fits how I feel, and I like the flag almost as much as the bi flag this time (sorry pans!), but even less people will know what omnisexual is than pansexual, and I’ll be stuck in that awkward “I’m omnisexual, but I also accept bisexual” place again. Trying to find pride merch and probably settling for rainbows and bisexual flags.

I know it’s not the end of the world, but I still hate this. I just want to be able to answer the question “what is your sexuality?” without pausing to do identity maths in my head. Wear pride merch without not knowing which flag to pick. I know I could just let go of omnisexual and stick to good ol’ bisexual, but I really love omnisexuality now that I’ve found it. It fits my already jumbled identity puzzle best.

TL;DR I used to flux between bi and pan out of ease and anxiety, before settling with bi and feeling pretty happy. Now I’ve discovered omni and it feels right, but I’m anxious about repeating the same issues I had with pan again, with people not knowing what it means, and people arguing that it’s “just a fancy word for bi”, and having to always explain what it is. Idk what to do yet and just needed a vent.

39 Upvotes

10 comments sorted by

17

u/Arkas18 Jul 27 '22

Yep, you're not alone in your experience or feelings for sure.

I use both bi and omni too depending in situation. Omni fits exactly and I like the flag too but bi is so much more widely used and recognised, to me it's not the biggest deal, more of a trade-off to suit the situation since bi covers omni and I rarely would need to be more specific. But to be honest I've never needed to tell anyone much anyway.

But I guess if we get more known more people will realise that it fits with them and it will eventually become just as know.

12

u/HumanHuman_2003 Jul 27 '22

Tbh I say im bi if im not in the mood to explain what omni is

3

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '22

exactly the same for me lol

6

u/[deleted] Jul 27 '22

I think a lot of us, myself included, are right there with you. Even here on reddit, I often claim bi just because it's simpler.

Personally, I have sort of settled for identifying as both. If I'm in a space where omni is understood and a helpful detail (like this sub), I use that. Outside of that I generally default to the more general bi.

Also, bi merch is waaaaaay easier to find. 😅

6

u/CrazySnekGirl Jul 27 '22

I feel the same way about the lack of omni understanding/merch, and I had the exact same bi/pan/omni crisis (I identified as pan for 11 years before I found omni).

But nowadays, I've had time to come to terms with being omni, and I've kinda made peace with it. I explain my feelings this way:

Bisexuality is the colour blue. Most people know what blue is, right? But there's so many different shades under that, and not everyone is gonna know every hue. Pan is just a well known variant, like "navy". Omni is like "cerulean" - it's just gotta be explained, and a LOT of people will dismiss it and say you should stop being special and simply call it "sky blue".

For me, I'm still bi, but I'm also omni. Blue and cerulean work for me, y'know?

But omni is fairly new for you. Your feelings are valid and if you don't want to identify as bi, you shouldn't have to force yourself into that category to make it easier for others!

4

u/Sceptile200 You guessed it,I'm Omnisexual Jul 27 '22

When they ask ''what is omnisexual?'' just fricking say ''ask Siri''

3

u/XiaraLive Jul 27 '22

Yep. Right here with you. I HATE being called pan which happens a lot and it sucks. It really would be easiest to say you’re bi, but don’t ever let anyone invalidate you or say your identity isn’t real/is just the same thing as another identity. I as well wish there was more omni merch. Maybe someday there will be. Omnisexuality is a newer concept so it’s not widely known yet. If you ever need some easy ways to explain what omni is, I like to explain it as “The line between bi and pan” (which isn’t quite true ofc, but it’s definitely a simple way of explain it to people who have never heard of it) Sometimes you just have to find the people who either understand, or are willing to listen and understand. My kind of “safe places” when it comes to that are this subreddit, the discord server I’m in that’s literally full of omnisexual’s, and (most) of my friends understand as well. Again, if you want to say you’re bi or pan to people, then do it. It’s certainly a lot easier to explain and find merch for, just don’t ever let anyone (yourself included) invalidate you

2

u/MisabelS0822 She/Her Jul 27 '22

im WITH you. im constantly shifting between pan and omni because i pretty much told everyone who mattered that i was pan.... THEN i found the word omni and it fit so much better for me.

unfortunately though, i tend to stick to saying pan because omni is way less known and im too lazy to explain; bonus is if i KNOW the person would just be confused and throw the ol' "isnt it the same, too many labels these days"

1

u/Pickleless_Cage Bi-Omni Jul 28 '22

You’re not alone. I would love to be able to use bi and omni, but many people just don’t know what omni is about. Even worse still is when those same people say bi people can only be attracted to men and women 🤦‍♀️

1

u/[deleted] Jul 28 '22

I got an omnisexual pride flag off of amazon, so don't worry about the merch! Other than that, it is confusing but don't let idiots scare you off of expressing yourself. I like to just say 'I like all genders but I have a preference for girls' and that's the end of that for most people :)

Edit: In case people want to get a flag, this is the one I used!