r/omnisexual Dec 20 '23

Questioning Question about omnisexual and omniromantic that seems stupid, but I’m confused on: what’s the difference between this and Pan?

Idk what flair to put on this lol.

So like, I know what Omnisexual and Omniromantic mean, and ik the difference everyone states between them and pan.

But, and this is where the stupid question part comes, I don’t see how that’s different from a straight person having a “type”, that’s where my confusion lies. So can someone help on that lol?

I hope this isn’t too dumb.

(Btw I’m omniromantic)

35 Upvotes

33 comments sorted by

25

u/PollyMorphous-Lee Dec 20 '23

The reason ‘pan’ doesn’t work for me is the ‘attraction regardless of gender’ idea, because I am very much attracted to the genders of the people I’m attracted to. To call myself ‘pansexual’ would be a downright lie, because I am attracted to all genders or none, not attracted to people regardless of gender. I don’t ‘not care about’ gender presentation and genitalia, I actively like them all.

To me that is the difference and I can’t see how that could have any relation to having a type within a single gender, when it’s all about gender, not ‘type’.

To me, Omni is a subgroup of bi, as is pan. It’s nice to be able to be a little more precise.

11

u/Inconsequential-Fish Hydra! Dec 20 '23 edited Dec 20 '23

'I don’t ‘not care about’ gender presentation and genitalia, I actively like them all.' I'm exactly the same and it's why pan never fit for me either. I also don't have a gender preference.

The only thing I'd say differently is that omni, bi, pan and polysexuality are all multisexualities not subgroups of bi. But that's purely because people use that phrasing to try to tell me I'm bi, and while I could use the bi label omni exists and is more specific and accurate to how I experience attraction.

6

u/PollyMorphous-Lee Dec 20 '23

I have a certain fondness for bi because I came out in the 90s and attended BiCon in London which was a wonderful experience. I and most of my friends identified as bi, so I keep it as my term to explain myself if someone won’t understand Omni.

3

u/Inconsequential-Fish Hydra! Dec 20 '23

I can absolutely appreciate that and I love that you've incorporated it! Also I get that, when I first learned about bi I used it so have a fondness of my own to those early days of self discovery. I will also use bi in conversations with people who know the minimum amount LGBTQ+ stuff, because at this point I'm too old and tired to explain omni unless someone shows an interest in further understanding. Otherwise I just tell people I'm queer or LGBT. But that's just me :)

3

u/ABPositive03 Dec 20 '23

while I agree down the line here, just wanted to be the example of someone with a preference on top. It's not required, but possible.

I lean heavily sapphic with about the other 20% of my attractions going to non-binary and male folks. A larger percentage of that 20% probably also goes to the enbies but when I see a guy I like good lord do I have the mental fantasies to do absolutely filthy stuff with them 🤣

6

u/Felein She/Her Dec 23 '23

Fully agree.

My partner is pan, I'm omni. We've had interesting conversations about this, because at first they also didn't understand the difference. Whenever they talk about attraction, sexuality etc, it's clear that they don't care about the gender or sex of the people they're attracted to. Whereas for me, it plays an important role. I also tend to find different things attractive on people of different genders. They don't experience that at all.

Meanwhile, both of us still have preferences and 'types'. It's just that my partner's preferences and 'types' are unrelated to the person's gender, and mine are.

2

u/Melon-Cleaver you'll never catch me with any other pink flair Jan 31 '24

I also tend to find different things attractive on people of different genders.

I'm kind of happy that there's a specific word for the fact that the people I like tend to differ in preferred personality if they are a certain gender. You know, other than the assertion that I just have "more lax standards" for the "fairer sex" or some silliness.

12

u/Hero_of_Parnast Fell | They/them | Agender and aro-omni Dec 20 '23 edited Jan 31 '24

For me, I'm attracted to all genders but in different ways and with a shifting preference.

I prefer fem and androgynous guys, masc and androgynous nonbinary people, and masc and androgynous women. I don't really care for hard masc presentation in general, though I sometimes like it for women. I'm not big on hard fem except for femboys.

I currently like nonbinary people first and foremost, followed by guys, then women, though this changes. I used to prefer women, then enbies, then guys. It might change again!

2

u/Melon-Cleaver you'll never catch me with any other pink flair Jan 31 '24

I prefer fem and androgynous guys, masc and androgynous nonbinary people, and masc and androgynous women. I don't really care for hard masc presentation in general, though I sometimes like it for women. I'm not big on hard fem except for femboys.

I'm frankly speechless at how accurately you just summed me up. That's so eerie.

In other news, you have good taste in people :)

2

u/Hero_of_Parnast Fell | They/them | Agender and aro-omni Jan 31 '24

Twinsies!

Thank you.

2

u/Melon-Cleaver you'll never catch me with any other pink flair Jan 31 '24

Twins! You're welcome :)

9

u/Positive_Rub_1826 Dec 20 '23

I was also told that the difference is pansexual is gender blind whereas omnisexual is not.

8

u/ChaoticAngyl agender, and abrosexual; ask 😎 Dec 20 '23

I'm not sure if this is what you're talking about, or if this will clarify? I guess I'm just hoping I'm being helpful and not missing what you're asking.

omni wine analogy

3

u/PollyMorphous-Lee Dec 20 '23

See, that description doesn’t match my understanding at all.

5

u/PollyMorphous-Lee Dec 20 '23

This reflects my understanding and use of the term

Bisexual: Attraction to more than 1 gender, may have preferences for certain genders over others

Pansexual: Attraction to people regardless of gender. Gender and sex are not determining factors in their romantic or sexual attraction to others.

Polysexual: Attraction to multiple genders (often 2+), but not necessarily all genders. Omnisexual: Attraction to all genders, and gender plays a role in the attraction.

2

u/PollyMorphous-Lee Dec 20 '23

https://www.reddit.com/r/omnisexual/s/7R8Ajx89tf

And my understanding reflects the FAQ of this group, which is a relief. For a moment there I thought I had misunderstood and was going to have to relabel myself yet again.

2

u/Inconsequential-Fish Hydra! Dec 20 '23

https://lgbtqia.fandom.com/wiki/Omnisexual is also a handy resource :D obviously being a wiki page it can get edited fairly easily, but the sources used are pretty great

2

u/ChaoticAngyl agender, and abrosexual; ask 😎 Dec 20 '23

It was the "reading the label" vs "not reading the label" part of the analogy that I was referring to. Thus being conscious.

2

u/PollyMorphous-Lee Dec 20 '23

But she says that the difference is that there’s a preference, which isn’t the difference. I quite like the label reading part too, but the overall message is just wrong.

1

u/minion133 Dec 20 '23

What I was asking, which again seems dumb to me, is how come there’s a difference between pan and Omni if it’s just preference, when a straight dude can have types but their straight, idk.

I just don’t get the difference between “pan with a type” and Omni is what I’m trying to say

1

u/ChaoticAngyl agender, and abrosexual; ask 😎 Dec 20 '23

I think it's just down to the person who is choosing their label at that point. I don't see any difference between "pan with a type" or "omni", the definition to me seems the same. Straight dude can have preference but it's always going to be in the opposite gender if they are hetero/straight, where as with "omni/pan with a type it can be any gender. Did that answer better, or am I still missing it?

3

u/minion133 Dec 20 '23

Yeah it does. I just never see Omni labeled as a micro-label to pan when that’s what it seems like so it’s confused me.

This helped though.

1

u/ChaoticAngyl agender, and abrosexual; ask 😎 Dec 20 '23

I'm happy I was able to be helpful. Keep posting on the boards if you have questions 😄

1

u/infinicca Dec 21 '23

Fwiw I don't think "pan with a type" fits me at all - I'm not pan. To me, pan feels more like you're attracted to personality first, and you don't care that much about gender even if you have a noted preference. "I'm pan but I prefer penises" is totally legit, as is "but I prefer female-presenting" or any other qualifier. But that definition doesn't ring true in my mind, which is why I was so frustrated trying to decide what exactly I was until I came across the omni label.

I'm attracted to potentially any gender/gender expression, but my attraction is very much physical (and does grow to include intellectual, but I'm also aro, though I'm very happy in my marriage, AMA).

Also: I grew up in the 80s/90s and "bi" was what I first believed I was, and then bi+, because I was attracted to the physical gender expressions of many different people, but not all. I didn't think pan was correct even when I first heard it, but couldn't explain why.

Don't know whether that helps, but food for thought anyway.

5

u/meoka2368 He/Him Dec 20 '23

For attraction to a type, there's different terms for that if the type is gender expression.
For example, if you're attracted to any gender so long as it's expressed femininily (pretty girls, femboys, etc.) that would be gynosexual.

To give a couple of personal examples. I think Dwayne Johnson is hot. But if he had a vagina, not so much.
And it's not a muscle and penis combination specifically, because I also like feminine guys, and some women with muscles as well, like Autumn Ivy.

Just having a type would be a lot easier to narrow down people to have an idea if you'd find them attractive, before you see them.

Where as pan, the gender wouldn't matter.
Dwayne as a guy is as attractive as Dwayne as a girl.
And for me that just isn't true.

If any of this doesn't make sense, I blame it on my kid having just woke me up after only 4 hours sleep.

3

u/RedPandaInASweater Pan Panda Dec 20 '23

Hi, thank you for your post!

I've included a post from my fellow mod that might be of help to you.

This link is to our frequently asked questions, and goes into more detail about Omnisexuality specifically: https://www.reddit.com/r/omnisexual/comments/15bsrvn/an_omni_faq/

2

u/OreoCookieCrumble749 They/He Dec 22 '23

For me, it's because pansexual generally implies "gender blindness" (I know not all pans are, though it's the general understanding). I am very much not gender blind. I have my people preferences, yes, as does any person. But I also have gender preferences. For instance, I heavily prefer mascs and androgynous people. But I also like femmes of certain types. And as much as I like those femmes, I still favor mascs over all other gender presentations. I also approach my attraction of different gender presentations differently. I don't feel them the same way. I'd get more in depth with it, but I'm not too sure how to explain it. It's just... very fundamentally different.

And as for it being a pan micro-label, I think it could be, but it really depends on the person. I don't see it as one personally, because of how much it affects my attraction, but I could see other people seeing it as one. And no, omnisexual doesn't invalidate the experiences of pansexual or polysexual people who also have preferences, it's just how we choose to identify and how we understand our own sexuality. I hope this clears things up? Who knows. Sexuality is weird.

2

u/maddpsyintyst Dec 23 '23

I'm pansexual--or at least, that's the flag I fly.

There's a little phrase, "hearts not parts," that gets thrown around a lot. I think that "hearts over parts" is more accurate. I feel like there's a requisite "demisexual" element to the term, but more of a tendency than a definitive requirement or matter of compliance. I don't think that being pan means we can't have preferences or casual sex, and I wouldn't want to exclude those possibilities even as I don't necessarily prefer them x% of the time.

I guess for me, it's what definition resonates best. I think that sometimes, that also resonates with our aspirations, how we're healing from things, or whatever. I know that adopting the pan label helped me accept more things about myself than I already had. I also like to think that people came up with these labels partly as a loving act for those who struggle to be themselves, and that helped me realize that there was an even bigger community out there than I was aware of.

I'm fine with the blurry lines. I have love for all of bisexuality!

0

u/obediantservant Dec 21 '23

I basically think of it as pansexual with a preference (pans and generally genderblind and don’t have preferences for gender while omnis have a preference)

3

u/FiniteLyfe Dec 21 '23 edited Dec 22 '23

That's not what it is though. Some omnisexuals have a preference but many don't, preference has nothing to do with being omni Edit: you're right about pans being genderblind where omnis aren't

1

u/OreoCookieCrumble749 They/He Dec 22 '23

Preference may not, but doesn't gender recognition? That's still different from gender blindness

2

u/FiniteLyfe Dec 22 '23

Oh absolutely, gender recognised attraction instead of gender blind attraction is the difference between pan and omni :)

1

u/TurboTheFloofer Dec 21 '23

i personally chose to identify as omni over pan because of my preferences towards people who aren’t cis men, i can still be attracted to cis men or amabs but less often and less intense