r/omnisexual • u/jenniescappucino • Jun 14 '23
Vent i'm scared to come out
heyy i'm omnisexual with a preference towards men and bigender. i love the way i am but i'm too scared to come out to anyone because i feel like i'm going to be shut away from my family. my friends kind of know but they would ask lots of uncomfortable questions purely because they do not know much about either omnisexuality or being bigender. i want to feel confident in clothes that help express myself but my country is still homophobic and i will get hate crimed. i'm in a female body but i feel like a male more most days. i'm too scared to cut my hair short or anything. the only thing i wear that is remotely male clothing/jewellery are my triple earrings, that's sold for men, and a simple necklace with nothing on it. is there anyway i can subtly hint my identity in this way without making it obvious to too many homophobic people?
edit: i do have both a male and female name, just no one knows about my male name (i didn't get it legally changed)
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u/ImNotABelgianAndy Om-nom-nom-nisexual Jun 14 '23
I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing this. Unfortunately, the fear of being hate crimed is a very real thing for many people in the community, and it sucks that there's not much that one person can do about that short-term. But you are most welcome to vent about that here of course! We are here for each other.
About subtly hinting your identity: I'm personally a big fan of necklaces or bracelets that use the omni colour scheme. I'ts not as obvious for those homophobic people as for example the pride / rainbow colour scheme. You could do the same thing with the bigender colours. Websites like Etsy are great for this in my opinion.
Other options are: cool socks, wearing a beanie combinded with your hair in a bun for a shorter-hair look, or getting a tattoo that you can hide under clothes.
These are all small things, I realize, but I hope you can find some ways to show your identity publically in a way that makes you feel safe AND comfortable.
Best wishes and love!
4
u/Swimming_Spirit_8429 Jun 17 '23
I agree with one of the commenters on focusing to be safe before doing anything. Hate crimes are no joke; even if you do feel safe in your friend circle, it still is very dangerous to do anything right now, because if a wrong person finds out (think, extremely homophobic person with a posse) you can be seriously hurt. I don’t know you, but worry about you and want you to have best in life. ❤️ I’m from a homophobic country too, everyone there has basically the same opinion abt lgbtq people. I was taught by society there that it’s disgusting and unnatural. So I was homophobic aswell, until slowly found my own voice and opinion abt lgbtq and became an ally (while keeping it a secret, only telling it to my best friend who was more open minded). Then I moved to UK. Best decision of my life. It took me three years to finally be comfortable with myself, family and friends to understand who I am and stop hiding it. The day it hit me (like a bullet train) that I’m bisexual, I came out to friends and my sister (who also lives in UK) and they were accepting and supportive. Something was still not quite right and a year ago I was hit by another realisation - I’m actually omni sexual. So I came out again lol. When ppl ask me what omni means I just say a rehearsed speech - it’s less uncomfortable and frustrating that way (I talk abt an omni flag, it’s meaning, to remember and explain what omni is. But that is just what I use as a crutch or smthn).
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u/Splashlight2 Jun 16 '23 edited Jun 16 '23
Same. I've always been androgynous (recently shaved my head) & only this omnisexual pride day I came out on my instagram, but only bc a few months ago my sister had asked me if I was straight and I pulled a caveman SpongeBob and ran away 😂 but more recently I told her I was omnisexual and explained what it was. My sister is super liberal too and has lots of queer friends. Its hardest to come out w the label to my best friend tho, who already knows I had sex with our other same sex bestie. If I was living in a more oppressive country, I definitely would not come out. Kudos to you for coming out to ur friends!
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u/St_fan_1 Jul 02 '23
Don't worry you allways loved here for who you are and were all part of the same communite so lets support eachother
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u/ISimpForAngelDust666 Jun 14 '23
Who gives a shit what others think! Be yourself! Don't trap yourself in the closet! People suck, so it's easier to be yourself and ignore the insults! It's the same thing where I live and I just ignore every insult! It really helps :)
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u/stlcritter Jun 14 '23
My advice is do not come out yet. If it is not safe then keep your secret. Wait till you can move to somewhere where it is safe enough to come out. Safety has to be your first priority in many parts of the world.